Tuesday, January 03, 2023

pocket 2022 dump v1

 persistence > perfection

failing > not trying

discipline > motivation

active reading > passive consumption 

single task > multi task

one deep read > many shallow reads

handwriting > typing

speak > silence


4. Authenticity: work/life balance

"I know from habit research that the lure of technology, that really quick dopamine hit you get when you have a new notification, is one of the hardest to overcome. It depletes willpower the fastest.”  -Urban “Dopamine is really about the anticipation of an event. It’s about seeking, not enjoying. So when that notification pops up – whether it’s the best news in the world, or the most annoying – all your brain knows is there’s something new you can divert your attention to. And when you’re feeling stressed or disconnected, you’re especially susceptible to this.”

“The curious paradox,” wrote the psychologist Carl Rogers, “is that when I accept myself just as I am – then I can change.”

And is there one simple limit you can set during this part of your day? For example, I have a boundary in the morning that I don’t check my phone before my routine is done. So I have a cold shower, work out, do a little meditation, and make myself breakfast. Then I start my day. I think those are the kinds of self-boundaries that can be helpful with working from home.”


So, it would be nice to have a morning habit.

I wake up, I dont touch my phone. Go make breakfast, work out, do devotion, meditate.. work starts at 8am. check the phone then. Work ends at 5pm, stop checking after that. if they wanted something done the next day, they should have planned it ahead.

A war is coming

brain doesn't do well with too much new information (the flaw as per Pantheon series).

improve brain: Dance, Instrument, foreign language, chess, read more of less, hand write

learning: say out loud,  test yourself, space out learning, handwrite, change the way, exercise, interleaving (learn different things in succession) , teach others, associative learning (build upon what you already know),

sleep in blocks of  1 and a half hours. either 1.5, 3, 6 hours... dont sleep 7 you'll wake up in the middle of a cycle. 7.5 is good.


focus on changing your mindset. Try counting your blessings before you fall asleep. It sounds cheesy, but research shows that the simple act of writing down three to five things you’re grateful for each day can significantly boost your wellbeing in as little as two weeks. Another positive mindset shift involves becoming more present. Research by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert and colleagues shows that no matter what we’re doing, we’re usually happier when we’re paying attention. So why not commit to boosting your presence with a few minutes of meditation every morning? Finally, consider switching from a selfish me-me-me mindset to one that’s a bit more focused on others. Study after study shows that people are happier when they’re helping people in need.

people who are self-compassionate eat better, exercise more and are happier with their bodies. They also procrastinate less and bounce back more resiliently after failures.

ON MAKING CHOICES

1. Zero in on what really matters

2. Don't dwell on the small choices

3. Decide as much as you can in advance

4. Get a second (and third, 4th) opinion for the big stuff

5. Be mindful of your emotions, timing of making choies

6. Be thoughtful about how you use pros and cons lists

7. Think of decisions as opportunities

.8 choose your regrets, we can't do everything




punch a tuition mate

 reading up on effects of bullying during childhood on an adult.


when i was young, i used to go to andrea's house for BM and science tuition.

with thinakaran and a girl named joey. we had this stupid game, that was to punch each other in the arm and see who gave up first. i said i was going to punch really hard, as if asking for consent, knowing that it was gonna hurt really badly.... we were all skinny back then... i didn't hold back..... i punched with all my strength, (probably because i didn't want the other kid to think that i was weak)... the other kid cried.. i didn't know what to do, so i just ignored the other person in pain, didn't even say sorry, and sorta ran away to the upper living room where the table was...

i think from there on..... 


i throw my punches.

i'd rather hit softly and let the other person have fun hitting me as hard as they can.

i can take it

making chores something to be looked forward to

 “By combining a temptation with a chore,” Milkman says, “that chore becomes something that’s actually associated with pleasure and you start looking forward to it instead of dreading it.”

2022 in review

 January - started with NCR as a contractor

micro goals: stop: picking n, playing games (ish), negative things

start: exercising, look ppl in the eyes when talking to them


Feb - x f, < FB scrolling, s look ppl in eyes, > more say welcome, ask how are you? prep day before

march - look ppl in eyes when talking, respond 'welcome' to tak you, naps, listen.
x talk bad abt ex work place, alpha


April - focus, goals, highlights, thankful.

- study once a day, exercise & stretching, outdoors, meditate, x be malicious (fail)


may nothing in the calender

June - late for work.  study once a day, exercise, read more


July - open Git hub Acc (only done in dec), Ruby, Python, Linux


August, September, October, NOvember, December


same four goals. unachieved

consistency

 "Don’t think about being consistently great. It’s a trap. It’s impossible. Think about being great at being consistent. It’s a reliable path to growth and achieving one’s potential that makes a lot more sense." - Brad Stulberg

Saturday, December 24, 2022

there is no reason for excuse

 life is a choice.

stop passing the buck,

there is no one else to blame.


take up the responsibility,

and do what needs to be done.


Discipline eat motivation for breakfast

Monday, December 12, 2022

truth is absolute

 So the NEXLeaders course on SUMO has this quote:


"Each person sees the world in a different way.

There is not a single, unifying, objective truth.

We're all limited by our perspective" - Siri Hustvedt


but i still stand that truth is absolute and not relative.

a ball is a ball, no matter if you see whatever colour it is.. or whatever side

there is not two balls ... according to the SUMO guy Paul



but i get what he's trying to see... people has different prespective on things.

and its good to be empathetic 


Sunday, December 11, 2022

wallow hippo wallow

 i was sitting down,

when felt down.

nothing i can do,

but do what hippos do.


wallowing

wallowing


half a day went by,

my mind couldn't come by,

nothing else could be done,

couldn't blame someone


wallow wallow


move on, move on,

life goes on.

Saturday, December 10, 2022

i lost my seed phrase

 judging the judgmental

today. i woke up... and saw a coinbase notification.

clicked on it... hmm.. about eth... tried to sign into Coinbase wallet.. haven't done so for quite some time. ah... it's a new lay out, they must have updated the app.... use fingerprint to authenticate... failed..


hmm.. i remember i almost got locked out once from coinbase wallet before... it's okay i'll just sign out and restore it from the google drive backup..

sign out... confirm sign out....

try to sign back in..... restore from google drive.....

no back ups found



what the....


hmmmm i'm pretty sure i wrote my 12 seed phrase somewhere..

look through 5-6 books.... my gosh..... it was arbout the timing of april 2021..

checked through screenshots, etc...


god....

its .. not here...


owh well..

lesson learnt

there was about 5 transections to that wallet..... nzd56 of AMP and about nzd85 of eth....

gosh... well..... whatever.......... life goes on

Tuesday, November 08, 2022

Lucy Kusanagi

 Lucy in Cyberpunk is like Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in a Shell.

the similarities that reminds me of the character


guess the both are imba peeps that can connect to the net

Kindness > fairness

 you can be kind to the one you love.


Matthew 20:1-16

Kindness > Fairness


be kind, just like Halsey sang so

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

26/10/2022

7.30 wake up, breakfast
8-5pm work
5-6 gym, cook dinner
7-8 eat, watch Disney
9-10 YT, FB
10.23 now

rinse, repeat

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

excess golgi apparatus - mucus

 so here's another dumb theory.... as dumb as why people get pimples if they don't release their pent up juices. 

the organelle (almost forgot what it was called in biology) Golgi apparatus is responsible for creating mucus. if we use up all the resources by shooting too frequently, the body has a deficit of mineals and nutrients and mitochondria energy to supply to other parts of the body.

signs include not having mucus in the nasal and throat areas (although i think this is also caused by damaged mucus linings from trying to hold kerosene in the mouth for fire breathing), 


so after being able to have a break for a few weeks... almost a month.. the longest it's ever been actually! there is a build up of resources once again... 


and i've got the flue, nose keeps running. but its been running so much better than it was previously.

odd eh...


weird stupid theories of the body and mucus

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

bee oil

There is a bee colony on the water.
That had the queen in stasis for a long time cause the owner nicholas left it for an adventure. When he came back he brought her back to life by melting honey with a blowtorch and calling her name Emelda.

I pushed a trolley and it hit a stack of extrs virgin olive oil in green bottles. Three fell down and broke.


Tuesday, September 13, 2022

health: habits and routines.

"Healthy habits are key to leading a healthy life, but it's nothing without self-discipline and routine. Start on your health journey." - Huawei health app

Saturday, September 10, 2022

opinion nazi

3. You are entitled to your opinions, but the line is drawn when you try to impose it on others.

4. Dont be a Nazi, if you were born in Germany that time and everyone was doing it... So you think that its okay to do..

Thats like saying its okay to kill a certain people group... Just because they were born in a differrnt ethnic or belief. 

rush slowly..

1. What if the earth doesnt have a finate amount of resources? As we now think it does...

I mean.. What if the sun light brings in more mass (does light carry more than just energy wave lengths? Is a photon something that can contribute to atoms? And smaller atoms just keep combining to form bigger ones? Eventually all the elements on the periodic table are fabricated

2. What if wind and wave energy is actually detrimental?

Whobsaysbthat capturing the currents and velocity of the skies bring about no ill effect to the earth as a whole? Maybe becasue we slow down the movement of undercurrents, the global metrological patterns go out of whack and droughts and monsoons and typhoons happen in a seemongly erractic way.. But they are all part of the same earth's equation.

Theres no such thing as gaining someyhing without a sacrifice. Every action has a equal and oppoaite reaction. Every benefit has a price to be paid.

3.... 

Sunday, September 04, 2022

dont worry, doesnt matter

You gotta play,
While you enjoy your stay. 

Sydney

Friday, August 26, 2022

why people warch movies

"People watch videos (mindlessly),
Because they dont like to think.... " - jamie

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

missed the ferry to waiheke. blunders, blunders everywhere

Just missed the 12.00 ferry by a few minutes.

What happened?
Morning 8am CE meeting
9am drop emergency off girl stuff
9.30 OT helpdesk call for bitlocker issue. Rebooted and its fine....
10-11.30 at south shed. More jobs came into ES for waiheke. 
Got to the ferry at 11.57

Sigh.

Next ferry at 2pm. Takes about 45 mins for the trip over. I'd arrive at 3pm. Thought I'd just bundle all the jobs together tmr since I'm taking the car over. But nope. They want P1 jobs addressed today.

Blunder in booking jobs for mainland. Had to cancle them. Such a mess. 

Sitting in an ultra packed ferry now. Hoping it'll sink


Gotta get back for wife's birthday today too. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

time 1

On going out to eat dinner in sydney CBD,  as compared to having only 1 hour lunch breaks

"We're  not rushing for time,
We can go how far we want, 
And come back how late we want."

1 dollar pho noodles at westfield

"In their heart, People actually dont want cheap things."

Friday, August 12, 2022

shisha st Sydney

Its friday night,
Me and the boys went down to CBD for dinner.  We all got our own food,  i went to an indonesian restaurant that had like..  Wan tan mee..

Then took an uber to some road like dominion.  Had punjab food,  ice cream Moo&Moon and then Shisha Expresso..

The kick after three puffs was nice.  But at the 4 or 5th set..  The body started rejecting it like beer.  Went to puke..  That was it.

The after feeling is hhhoooorrrible. 

Took the train back.. 

Sitting in the room just trying to recover.

I hate shisha. Wont do it again.

Monday, August 01, 2022

100 gong

 1. music, keyboard on Yousican (30 mins a day)

2.  language, Chinese on Chinese Skill app (~15 mins/d)

3. exercise: kneesovertoes Nordic bench, Feldenkrais Awareness through Movement

4. learning: percipio COMPTIA Network+

5..


keystone habits to build:

S-Tier: Reading, exercise, meditation, bullet journaling

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

 feldenkrais...

reiki..

contact care....

\


well... what i know about the body, is not as much as what is possible i guess.

all i know is that... we gotta feel our body more.. like.. listen to it.. move it. and try to be in tune with that it's trying to say to us.... i dont know why but when i think of "finding our own north star", i think of paying attention to what the body is telling us about

Thursday, July 21, 2022

hand me that cup

What does it mean for our old bodies to be swallowed up by life?

Scientifically, When our body dies, we bury/burn it and it returns back to its constituent molecules of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and all other trace elements. Just like any other vegetable or animal when they die and get decomposed.

But what is it that is different for a Christian's body for our point of view when we die? Jesus didn't die on the cross and have His body buried in the tomb and left to rot... While His spirit floated away and got another new heavenly shining angelic body...

No, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus was raised back to life in the same body that was in thag tomb, wounds in the hand and feet and side and all. But this resurrected body was different from the old. This new body could seemingly teleport and phase through walls (John 20:26-27).

Jesus had achived a higher state of being. A 'new' body. And he offers us this 'new' life too. Do we need to die (physically) before we inherit an eternal body? Or hasn't always the gospel preached the eternal life is this: to know You, the one true God-and Jesus Christ the one He sent to earth (john 17:3).

That was Jesus prayer. That we would come into communion with the God if the universe. To be unseperated from Him. This physical body has the mind, body and spirit; id, ego, superego; insitncts, reality, morality; logical rational, primal intuition,...

Jesus was sent from another place beyond this earth. Sent by another from beyond our realm. We call that place heaven. Jesus was sent here to guide us. To save us. To show us the way, the truth and the light. Onto salvation. Onto the path of being one with esch other just as Jesus was one with God (john17:21-26).

Now hand me that sacrament. The Holy Communion. That bread and wine. In remembrance of Christ. But be weary, we were not instructed to indulge in taking it alone and in an unworthy manner (1 Cor 11:21)

Wednesday, July 20, 2022

minute 42: textbook

Alright got back my train of thought. Trigfered by the word at that minute.

Textbooks


So... 

Here's the post about it. 

A child doesnt like to be forced to read something that is of no onterest to them. I.e i did badly in Sejarah (history) in highschool. Why? Because i didn't like the subject, or well... The spark was never ignited in me for it (by my educator?)

As an adult.. I love history, (not doing it any justice though)... Not spending my time reading up on it either.

But yeah... 

As long as a child can read words. And can understand, comprehend and formulate the ideas that others have placed into writing... Thats the key skill..

The next is to guide them, but not force them... To read with interest.

See i think the brain only makes good neurons grow and remembers, recalls 'facts' better when our consciousness is attentively interested in a particular topic.

Theres where focus and flow state can be found. (as adults we seek for that state that so naturally comes to kids, mpre on this next time maybe...  Tldr: adults are to preoccupied with other matters, kids dont have a care in the world, especially on household responsibilities)

^ p.s I've put 'facts' in quotation because really.. As a kid everything i read was from 'legitimate' sources, so my brain consumes literally anything without bothering to spend extra energy and effort to filter if it is true or not. It is easily guaged: what doesnt sit well with what i already know in my currently accumulated knowledge database is rubbish and wrong.
What can be grafted onto ths tree of my knowledge is... Good. And expands more or what i know. Maybe certain information at too early a time wont fit anywhere, but will do so later on when there are more branches. However, nowadays with fb and yt short videos... The tonnes of info are just being dumped around without having any anchor to latch onto... Its a mess in my head. 

Ans hence, its not so much the case now whwre right is so easily distinguishable from wrong. I used to be suuuuper absolute in truth, and would be apologetic towards relativism. As im 29 years old now.. Uhh....  I'm more kinder and gentler. 

Not accepting or tolerant, but loving and empathetic. I wanna be like Dr Tan GJ. Wise. 

So anyways.. Yeah. That's that. On textbooks. And my weird random thought that spouted from listening to minute 42.

How we should change education for noy juat children. But people even as they become adults.

(but who would learn accounting then? If no one was ever willing to force themselves to read all those textbooks and sit for CAP exams??... Haha maybe there'll be a portion in our 8 billion population that fill find their place of belonging there)

As confusious said. 'A kingdom prospers when everyone is in place where they belong.' or something like that

evangelical Christian 'testimony'

Lisenting to ben and kami's podcast "everyone belongs" epdisode 1. So relatable. Haha. But aslo thats their point of view.

I think the beanbag and tickling each other part is actually a sign of self control (lol the 9th fruit of the spirit (i almost said 10th fruit)). Something like the marshmellow test for kids, those that didn't eat it showed greater mental resolve.

I think i have a weakened mental capacity, i failed morally.. Many times..

Growing up, life was goood. Grown up, life is kinda... Erm... Sub-prime.

Not the best. But still good.

Having a secial someone and having to adhered to their expectations can be... Uhh.. Draining.

But thats love aint it. 

As a kid , my parents were littt.. They let me cycle out into the mid night and come home at whatever time i wanted to with the house key.

But yeah anyways what I'm getting at is.. 

You'd know when you know. 


Main point: i forgot what i wanted to write. It was gonna be huge... Will get back to it

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

the right kind of right

Would you rather be right,
Or be kind? 

when you think it matters

"doesn't matter" - jima

Saturday, July 16, 2022

purging preconceptions

The secret country of yourself by Jenya T. BEACHY.

Pg14. Write on these places:

Santuary
A holy place. Scantum. Brings to mind the Christian song. "Take me past the outer courts, into the Holy place, past the brazen alter, Lord I want to see Your face... ". Growing up in church we use this word quite a bit. I guess it's used to refer to where God dwells. Where He can be found.

Shadow House
Sounds dark. Like a place where ghost hide. Like a haunted place. The house in Stranger Things season 4. Its gloomy. Theres spider cobwebbs.. Nobody had gone there for a long time. Shadow brings to mind the Swtichfoot lyric "the shadow proves the Sun shines". Shadows are there, no doubt. But we dont pay much attention to them. Because its stuff that we think are negstive, taboo or not nice to show to the public. However, it is there. In us. I've heard of Shadow Work. Of the Dark Night of the Soul. Computer games make use of the "shadow" term in units, skills or characters..

Temple
The church. Where Christians in other traditions call a place of gathering. A religious place for whatever religion people belive in. It has many different names. But often associated sith Buddhist. A place with statues and idols. Smoke from joss sticks. When i was young i would say "I'll never never go into a chinese temple, thats where Satan is". But when i grew up, i realise that it is not what is on the outside, but on the inside of us that either keeps us 'holy' or defiles us. Visiting other people's places of worship 


Wednesday, July 13, 2022

One of the things dad wanted to do after retirement is water painting. But he never get started.

Thats living the authentic life right there! We always have so many choices in life and things that interest us... But sometimes we have to put aside stuff so we can do other things of more value..

Like playing with the grand kids.. 
Imagine if dad decided to spend all this time just sitting and painting. He might end up like uncle kwen peng! Haha not that theres anything wrong with how a person chooses to live the life with the freedom of choice we've all been blessed with by God.

To every man, their own art. 

Monday, July 11, 2022

crab by the lake side

 there was a hugggge crab at the side of the lake.

and the lake had hugee frogs too


we went for a walk in it.

and came out to wash our feet at a phone booth that had a shower

Friday, July 08, 2022

such a heavy burden upon the shoulders

i dreamt..

i was walking.. with such a heavy backpack...

so heavy that my legs started to give way..

and i could no longer even stand at all

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

transcendence and facticity

 have a close relation with each other.

they give each other meaning and purpose..


just like yin and yang,

opposites giving definitions to the other.


for if there was no evil, how would we know what good is?

A photo frame that shows inspirational quotes daily

 I would like to invent that.

Make a small digital board that I could place on my desk.

That shows inspirational quotes for the day.


It could run on a respberry Pi or something,

with a small screen attached.

Freedom

 Freedom is not freedom from responsibility, it is freedom to make choices,

and therefore having to take responsibility.

a paradox of work

'doing more gives you more energy to doing more'

Sunday, June 26, 2022

authenticity is the way to learn better

 "What we need to know gets lost in what we are told we should know"

Real learning is the process of remembering what is important to you,

and becoming a leader is therefore the act of becoming more and more your true self.


- Tom Butler-Bowden on Warren Bennis' On Becoming a Leader 1989


man.. Tom has read and summarised soooo many books

begger of time

Remuera
Sat on a bench. 
Begger came to sit beside. 
I sat a while with him.

Ask hows the day, 
Hows the place. 

Whats his story?
He said he didn't want to talk about it. 
No one listens. Theres no time.

Time is a funny thing eh. 

A begger not having enough time.
Hmm

Sunday, June 12, 2022

work is creation

 we are made to make things.

bring order to chaos.

entropy happens naturally. all things move towards this state.

hence, energy has to be inputted to mitigate it.


everything we do, is part of creation.

like writing this blog post.

the fingers typing on the keyboard to make legible information from my illegible thoughts in the mind.

the ink in a pen forming out a pattern recognized as words by another reader..


ink in a pen, is potential.

the casing held in the hand,

the nib on a sheet of paper,

the ink flows out..


it makes... something

something is created




i fix machines.

that is my work.

i bring order to chaos.

fix the broken

so that it works again


God, Jesus... fix me

Sunday, May 22, 2022

what i got from YLDP with Prof. neo BS on distruption

 

-"If it's aligned, say yes and fit it into the schedule. If it's not aligned, even with free time, say no"...…

-a fundamental skill: learn how to solve problems in a computational manner

-dealing with burnout: set limits.

 

-its not about learning everything, its about keeping it going.

Get involved in solving a problem, then it's easier to learn something

 

-super long term view (we might not see in our own lifetime): eventually old things die out, but new congregations are born that cater to the needs of future generations.

big picture view: Kingdom of God is everlasting

 

-be driven by time rather then scope.

instead of waiting for a comprehensive solution at the end of 24 months, I rather have partial solutions every 1 month.

 

-without a foundation, agility doesn't work.

it leads to instability because there is no center.

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

smarthponeee

 How do you think mobile phones have changed not just the realm of communication? It literally has changed everything about life. It's the TV, Radio, Photobook, Camera, Newspaper. Actually I think the smartphone is just the key to a door. Like a window. The real allure or attractiveness or distraction is what is behind the screen. Whether it be the endless recommended mindlessly entertaining short videos from YouTube, FB, TikTok, Instagram.. or really knowledge improving wisdom growing content from wholesome sources on the exact same platforms. Mobile phones are a double edge sword, both a blessing and a threat. It just depends on how the wielder swings it. Hold a smartphone without intention or purpose, and it will consume it's consumer.

Saturday, May 07, 2022

quittt

Strategic quitting:
Endless scrolling of
Facebook and Youtube. 
They really are like a slot machine.
Just anticipating that the next recommend vedio will be something novel, exciting and dopamine triggering.

But time flies away, tricking bit by bit till precious hours are gone. 

Such a waste, such a... let down
Such a lack of willpower. 

Or is it? Is it the environment? With the phone always so avialable by the side.

"you can do anything, once you stop trying to do everything" 

Friday, May 06, 2022

the price

"the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it"- Henry David Thoreau

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Jesus and the Holy Spirit

 Jesus cleans out the gunk from the heart,

the Holy Spirit comes in and fills that void so other bad stuff can't come in to fill it back up.

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

20th.... it's a wednesday

had a nice holiday to New Plymouth for friday saturday sunday and monday...

i didn't work on the thursday before
i didn't work on tuesday and wednesday...

gee...

is this how a break feels like

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

week 2 tuesday

 so doing the core upgrades alone now.

made so many blunders in telling the armourguard guys what is needed.

i.e coin side cars needing to be open or not.. haha oops.


went to the house to talk.. lots of talk..


sigh, 


studied while exercising is good time made.

cleared up emails.


ah... i need to do my time sheets and expense claims.. zz


overall.. sorta productive day.. better than last week...

without plans and all..



listened to how to have  healthy liver on blinklist...

two protein shakes and a meal at night... keep the liver functioning well throughout the day.


should leave the house earlier.. so.. jam along the way.

got to eat pnsonby's my fried chicken... walk.. and use the Lime scooter.. yea

Friday, April 08, 2022

friday

7.09am wake up. breakfast

blink list: crazy faith. stretch

shower


 8.44am virus scan. 3 threrats found D:/$Recycle.bin.. so dodgy


off to work to pick up Cores and stuff


1.30 cleaned the house

its 3.30pm now.. discovered twitch streamers..



6.00 left early to go dinner at Nandos.. had such a good chat with David, Steph, Esther and Crystal

thought i should have jogged here and taken a shower at the gym

11.36pm.. time to sleep


going coromandel tmr


Thursday, April 07, 2022

thursday

 7.30 am wake up to the sound of showers after all my alarm clocks went off earlier on.... 

8am breakfast, she wants bread.

10am.... still at home.. 2 hours


 12.23pm.... at home... sc2

stukov


4.50pm..... tor


zz


time to go cook that fried fish


7.18 finished dinner


i should have gone staging today



Wednesday, April 06, 2022

wednesday

 7.30am wake up

8.30 had breakfast

pray as you go - be ye wise,

what is truth? - truth is... what Jesus says. what God declares as truth

what is freedom? living in His ways

my understanding is limited,, to reconcile it to the words of Jesus, I have to accept that it will never be perfect until the day I meet Him in heaven

if God were your Father, the you would love me.

Truth and freedom lead to love, the heart of John's gosple


God you've sent me here.

God in you i am free

God, I am not alone.

what do i need to live in Your love?


a sound mind, focus, freedom from the distractions of this world.

self control. a daily routines of good habits.

 9.10am quite time with the Lord. slight numbness in the left side of the face, felt it in the corner of the forehead, going to the left ear and cheeks.


10 push uos, 10 squats, 1 min plank, 10 dips, 30 sit ups, 10 superman, 


9.18am Shri called. Head off to NCR office to collect CE keys.

...



went to the office,

went into a church



came home at about 12.30

game


5pm


zzz

 

Thursday, March 31, 2022

decisiveness

so an offer came up.... but i needed to leave the current company hanging when i've already been assigned a job for the next month...


i asked the recruiter if i could have time, so that i can finish some planned work and then move on.

instead of being a jerk and just running off after my contract finishes.


well... i just don't want to step on peoples toes.

i want everyone to be happy

i want to exit gracefully


hence,

my request if i could have the time.

and if needed i'll give my two weeks notice.


but i wonder if the opportunity to get 30nzd/hr will pass..

i'm only getting 25 now... sigh...

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

growing.. old

 i personally use an acer laptop, not that i have anything agaisnt Dell or Lenovo, I hope this wont affect the outcome of my interview. I've ripped.. uhh.. taken apart servers with 128GB of RAM and dual Xeon cores. I've put laptops and desktops together, swapping out the RAM and HDD for SSDs. I also know about M.2 NVMes and try to stay up to date with the latest tech.

show the courageous part of what strengths you have.

I like the laptops that are serviceable, such as the older and bigger ones, because they are so easy to take apart with a screw driver. not like the modern ones that are so slim and all glued together. Changing screens? i've done it for my friends one.... firends? lol... how about your own? how about in work experience?


the interview was with the technical guy  from unisys. he's job, the purpose of the interview is not about agent/hiring stuff.. it's about gauging your skill capabilities.  


so yeah..


owh.. and happy birthday =P

it was fun having them friends around for dinner

wythe, julissa, jy, angela, kyra, icy

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

one day before the birthday

 so it's one more day until my 29th birthday.

well not exactly one day.. just 2 and half more hours.

gee..


getting old.

10 am went to meet the NCR guys.

1pm went to the library. hungy...

tried to find books about "growing up"

barking up the wrong tree?

how to adult


sigh.... what am i doing with my life..

seriously...

where my sense of purpose or direction


God...


happy birthday. thank you for bringing me into this world to live and enjoy it.. what should i do with my life?

alignment

Answer accordingly.
What the listener expects to hear.

bla bla.. brain messed up....

 made a blunder.

Met up with Sri and Jim and the Avi and Goundar at McD's Stoddard.
10 minutes early but still later than the rest.

was the given the first opportunity to 'introduce myself'.

didn't think it through and i just blurted out what came first to my mind when ask:
"tell us your background"..


"i studied forestry in malaysia and came to NZ on a working holiday visa........"

"what kind of visa are you on and how long more?"

"an open work visa... for about two more years"


"oh... if this was an interview i wouldn't take you on, because the company invests in the employees for the long term, with trainings and certifications, we don't want to lose workers after a few years...."




geee.... i shouldn't mention too much details, too far into my background. and just say the information that is relevant and what the person listening wants.... owh well... live and learn.


i hope NCR retains me.. haha. contract is coming to an end in March.. hopefully it'll get renewed so i can do the atm stuff and other jobs that are to come.... i like travelling around compared to sitting in an office 9-5

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Rotorura: summer holiday home

 So we spend three days and two nights in this amazing house at Rotorura with Wyth, Julissa, Philosh and Phaliant, Sky & YuChi, Amber & Hsiang.


We left home early but not too early on Friday. we even got there 1 hour too early (because check in was 2pm). So we had to go off to do something, i.e. eat BurgerFuel. When we came back to the house, Philosh and Phaliant were there. We had hotpot that night.

The place had so many rooms, a pool table, a hot spa, a trampoline, gas BBQ grill, a bookshelf, two aquariums: one with guppies one with turtles, a bar, disco lights, BT sound system that rocks the house, well-stocked functional kitchen, a bookshelf, card games, fun games, a door to the playground, TV with chromecast, and heaters... it's suuuuper comfy.

the first night yuchi set up here mini projector and we watched "Light the night". a crime series about a Taiwanese night club that serves japanese patrons. the murder of Sue, her best friend rose. and a guy we keep calling Gabriel because of his resemblance to one of their housemates.

went fishing with Wythe on saturday morning too. 5am we left, arrived too early, it was cold and slightly windy. But tide was coming in, full moon, and tonnes of huge fishes that gave a goooood fight. i gave one of the kids a home made weight that Wythe welded himself. we got home about 10am. in time for the McD breakfast with the rest. Julissa was scolding him for not killing the fish iki style and saying the meat was all hard and all. lol. i should get a spike for him one day.

we fired up the BBQ grill and had the fish bones for lunch, with chicken nibbles, sausages and lamb wrapped veggies. they were good. I sat in the hot tub too. for about 20 mins at 3pm ish.

we watched more light the night episodes. tried to go the Luge at 5pm but they were closed.

tried to take a nap but failed.

called my parents to show them around the house

went to the red woods at night about 8.15pm. the line was soooo long. but the lights were beautiful


into the night we had the left overs and prawn noodles. gosh i was so sleepy i hit the sack at about 10pm. woke up to brush my teeth later and saw philosh still up with his albion game set up for a guild war.... 2 hours later.


sunday morning. so sad this was our last day. wyhte didn't go fishing in the early morning as planned previously because the rest just couldn't wake up. oh Rumi is sooooo cute, she keeps jumping on just in the bed at night. we went back to the Luge to find out they dont do the extreme road cause its under maintenance and we also couldn't catch any more fish like the previous day because the wind was soo strong, big waves and tide was going out. that was about 10am ish.


and yeah, we just drove home 3 hours. had thai food for lunch and dropped over to see yuchi and sky to pass them back their icebox.. sadly empty.


thaws a good trip, i wish i could have been more interactive. but my chinese sucks sooo bad.


sigh what am i going to do with my life. birthday is coming up in three days

Friday, March 18, 2022

sleep: getting it right. its important

Come up with a sleep plan.
Build this habit. 

Wake up the same time everyday.
Have a cue exercise? 

Sleep after reading a book. 

Sleep is when the brain gets rid of toxic material: amyloid beta

Find my individualised cicardiam rythm.
The zeitgerbers. Cues, daily meal times, routines after dinner. 

Get the good rest feeling every morning. Dont feel fatigue. 

Do the sleep restriction exercise to find my optimal amount of sleep to get.

I want to wake up at 4am everday. 
5 and a half hours back is 10.30pm.
Sleep 15 minute increments back... 

Okay.. Lets do this

Thursday, March 17, 2022

rush

1. Late for the flight check in
2. Left things behind in palmerston north
3. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

anxiety, need a purpose

So i guess, mental health is a... first world problem? Like when people have something to work and look forward to, they have no time to over think things.

Its the idle mind, the extra time, the freedom and restlessness that comes from an affluent life that brings about a downfall

Too much isn't good. 

What is this life for? 

Wednesday, March 09, 2022

war truth

In a peaceful world, truth is rarely told.
When truth is told, than wars will start.

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Attention.
Focus. 
Determination. 
Discipline. 

So hard to come by

creator

This world rewards creators,
At the expense of consumers.

Friday, February 04, 2022

what is right

What is good is not always right.
What is alot is not necessarily good. 
What is right now, might not be later on. 
What is right later on, might not be further on. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

a new visa

Thabk you Jesus,
2 more years. 

The first day. A start of a 'new' chapter. 
Work for NCR is nice.
CompTIA A+
TAB - jim's 300
Pizza
Mount Te Aroha
The Domain, 

Regret - should have gone the mineral spa  pools over watching Greenland

No brining the Surface to study for Lab and TestPrep? 

Got called from Holly form  Learning People

Tuesday, January 04, 2022

is this the new year, or just another day

so its four days into the new year!

31/12/21

spent the eve of it at Bay of Isle's holiday park with Wythe, Julissa and Ah Peng, Ke Xin.

slept into the new year with fireworks and dancing outside.

went to Cape Reinga all the way in the north. something to check off the NZ travel bucket list!

and visited the Sand Dunes, but didn't rent a body board for 15 bucks, so we couldn't really slide down on our yoga mats or skateboard. hence no real photos of the event. But... it was one heck of a workout to be climbing up the dunes! only could manage 3 runs up, i dont think my legs would have carried me up the fourth time.

2/1/22

Then there was a nice motel. we went to Waipu beach to catch crabs, but there was too much seaweed, so they were all full and didn't want to eat our chicken necks.

made our way to Cove cafe for shower and lunch and headed back


3/1/22

just chilled at home, went shopping for fishing gear


4/1/22

fishing at Omaha. cought a Trevally and Snapper. but all too small. saw a japanese dude sashimi the fish like a professional.


should listen to the wife more. holidays.




Sunday, December 26, 2021

boxing day, i feel like boxing myself

went over to my witness house today after doing some shoppping for towels with Crystal.

helping him to set up the bianance with link to muskbot.

sigh, messed up the P2P, because the ANZ bank won't transfer the funds to the gwailou's westpak, until 29th morning. zzz


1500 nzd for 1000usdt.


just waiting, nervously.

should have just gone for bank transfers that were ANZ,

or purchased with the credit card on bianance for an extra 20 bucks.

to buy some peace and less hassle, as learnt from Jacky.


he has 11k in full auto bot. lol on houbi.

what in the world

Saturday, December 04, 2021

predictions and errors

 so investing eh.

i had this weird thought.. about cryptocurrency..

just 10 bucks today in a coin,

what would it be 100 years later in the future?

when i pass them down to my grandchildren

unseen what is seen, seeing what is unseen

 what i perceive is stems from what is in my mind,

but reality proves otherwise by what is seen and show my erroneous ways.

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Arguments, good ones

 In disputes upon moral or scientific points, let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.” - Arthur Martine


1. Listen and re-express what your target's points are, clearly

2. List points of agreement

3. Mentioned things you've learnt in the argument

4. Respectfully express your rebuttal or criticism


 



Friday, November 26, 2021

trading bot

Day 1.
Saw james post a few times about profits on FB wall. Decided to PM him about it.

We had a zoom call and he explained to me about the bot and day trading. A one hour session, bit i felt like it was too short. He had to go at 5pm and thats a good time to respect it.

Day 2.
Set up the binance acc and musk bot. Need to verify with ID and all. Bought some USDT with fiat jist for kicks.

Day 3.
James helped me to get the 1k USDT through P2P. In NZ everyone ask for pic of ID and a note. Its for the banks if they ask.

1770 NZD lets go. 

Did the APIs etc.

Day 1 of trading AVAX. Supposed to be a hot coin but didn't move that much. It covered until there was 400 bucks stuck in it.

I wasn't too patient and just wanted to release the capital so i could play with other coins.

Day 2. I jumped out of MANA and SAND just before they shot up (25th nov 2021). Super regret. I thought those coins were going to go stale.

Chit chatted with the community on whatsapp. They know how i feel becasue they've been there before.

I was so desperate to clear my operations to get a clean slate and start all over again. No patience. Everytime i see red i think this is not a good coin and i just want to get out.

Learnt some good tips from the more experienced guys. Just leave it. Dont touch. Be patient.

It'll come around. 

Night. I jumped in when was high. Was still earning a little here and there. But when i woke up things were in the reds with -10s and 12s... Sigh

Should have turned the CIS on. And changed from 15usdt to 12usdt for initial. 

And not cover 4 times. Cause the fourth one is about 400-500 bucks. 

And i dont have that much capital. I should only take up 2-3 coins. So greedy i took 4.

Why why.. So much to learn.


Sunday, November 21, 2021

truth be relative to ones level of understanding

Haha happen in chemistry too. At individual year levels. Learning it in form 5 and going on to form 6 be like 'what i learnt was a lie!'... And then after that if we go further into uni also the same thing 'what we learnt before was a lie!' 

Well to be fair, many things we know as truth today will be outdated in the future and might not be 'false' just... shallower as we get to go deeper. 

Think of galileo telling the church the earth wasn't the center of the start system but the sun.

I'm not saying truth is relative. But the exposure to things that can be relevant to an individual at a certain time is. You wouldn't teach a baby economics before math. Uh.. Maybe not even math, just learning to read.

Your students might not understand this video even if they watched it. But to those that do, good for them. 

Friday, November 19, 2021

the root of strife

 every video online now can be scrutinized.

you never know if it was a candid shot taken without prior planning,

or if it was directed and all 'acted' out.


but whichever it is, the goal is to connect with the audience watching in someway,

whether it is mentally, logically or emotionally.


making a person think in their mind "wow this is so dumb",

or "gosh this is so natural, it gives me a sense of tranquility"


..


but when people find out that what they thought to be real is actually, well fake...

then they get so upset. why? because their trust was broken.


the video creator didn't specify that it was an undoctor film,

nor is there any need to disclaim that it was so, unless needed otherwise


why do people even get upset about things?


it's when another person's portrayed reality (in art/film/words/etc),

is in conflict/different from one's perceived version of reality.


not that we consciously want to be upset about it,

but it just happens subconsciously.


as if,... we almost had no control about it if we weren't aware what was the root cause of dissention.


difference.

of my reality and yours.



of my opinions and yours.



Tuesday, November 09, 2021

bible study John while reading the Immortality Key

 My Elim small group is doing a bible study on the book of John.
And I'm currently listening to The Immortality Key by Brian C. Muraresku.

Haha, seeing things I never thought of before,
due to the added historical context of the Greeks and Dionysus.

Well.... I still have no doubt that Jesus is the Son of God, for all the things that He has done.

I believe, Lord help my unbelieve


"If you die before you die, you won't die when you die."

Sunday, November 07, 2021

Online Silent Retreat testimony

 "Silent retreats aren't easy to come by,

To take time and dwell in a secret place,

Life is full of hustle and bustle nowadays.

seeking God's face can't be done in haste.


Amidst the pandemic and border restrictions,

One would think he has ample amounts of time,

How far away from the truth that's the case,

Especially when I think life is all well and fine.


Despite the challenges we still did it online,

I'm glad Simon and Rinda made this happen,

They helped me to look deeper within life,

And made me realise things that were hidden.


Throughout the sessions and the guided silence,

There was rest, comfort and introspection,

It helped me to be calm and make some sense,

That I'm still under God's loving protection.


Life isn't easy, It's full of weary,

I'm reminded Jesus knows my worry,

So I'll continue to walk this journey,

Giving God the glory for this story."


- 28 yrs, labourer, NZ

Monday, November 01, 2021

me and my big stupid mouth

So we had to move house.
Because the landlord is moving back into this house and selling it off after 6 months. 
While we move into his other house, just 5 minutes away. 

Much bigger, all rooms with toilets. 

Went skating will Crystal, came back. Open my big stupid mouth and told Kinns that we are moving. 

If i didn't say anything she wouldn't have known, because she doesn't read the house group chat messages.

Its not likw i have anything against her. But Crystal does. And it frustrates her which frustrates me.

Sigh. Our one chance to be free, and i go screw it up. 

But she's alwags had something against someone in the house. There's always got ti be a scape goat.

Well small things that irritate constantly become sores. Festering sores. That just make life sour. 

Putting shoes on the top rack and moving other peopls stuff underneath. Rearranging stuff in the cabinates and placing things wherever she likes. Sitting on the couch and not making the cushions right after messing them up. Making a mess in the kitchen and not cleaning up. Noisy enough to be heard thorugh room walls. The list goes on.

Sigh... 
Me and my big stupid mouth thag can't shut up. 


I'd feel bad if i didn't tell her and she found out later that we went to view the house without her. She would be sad no? That she has no friends. I just want to be a friend to the friendless... But sometimes is hard to care for everyone's feelings.

Care for those that matter to you, 
Screw the rest.

Thats what relationship has thought me

Monday, October 25, 2021

SC2 addiction

 i've bee addicted to Stracrat 2 custom maps, Direct strike, squadron TD, zerg hex..


sigh, spend friday whole night playing it (11pm-7am) 8hrs

then Saturday afternoon manage to take a break? ( i can't remember if i played on that day)

and sunday morning ( 9am-1.30pm) 4 hrs


but yeah thats like... 12 hours plus of gamming time..why?


why do i give in to my cravings

how can i get right with the Spirit and not keep on my desires of the flesh?



 put this computer outside infront of the TV with the gaming rig...


it's the environment.. if i play it in side the room, i am less likely to play right?


we are shaped by our environment

dreamt i found a black iphone

 I had a dream last night

I have been having many dreams


ONe on shoes, and a racetrak... we gave our shoes up before going in for the event (like a concert),

but at the end, instead of what we expected to get our shoes back, it was a free for all. and everyone just grabs whatever they want.


that dream was a few days ago.


last night i dreamt that I found an iphone with the credit cards and stuff of a guy.

and i was in a delimma to keep the phone for myself or return it.


a free phone! sweet, but you know when a guy loses their phone,

they really want to find it back. for example if how i lost the phone i really wish the person whom found it would return the phone to me,


so yeah that's what i did in the end. i gave the phone back the the person,

but after a long while. it's something that i should have done straight away,


it's inside of me,

it reveals my nature.


i like to take other people's things and make them mine.

i covert my neighbours belongings..



unlike Pilosh.

we found a phone in the ONe tree hill park while playing villeyball

and he has zero hesistation returning the phone.


real man.

caues i guess, money is nothing to him

Friday, October 22, 2021

two batches not one

Just take two batches in one go.
Dont worry about space in the warehouse.
Look after your own department and what yoy need to do first before thinking about others.

Now I'm just sitting here waiting for the warehouse guys.

Sigh. Cooperate life. 

Monday, October 18, 2021

clothes and armor

 Something about wearing different materials and clothes on that gives a sense of 'wonder' to a person

In games, like MMORPGs you can equip the character with different articles, normally the head, body, legs, etc.

In real life we wear, shoes, leather belts, fancy watches on our wrist, jewelry

In scouts we had uniforms with badges showing ranks and positions

So yeah, in life we tend to judge people based on what they wear: a suit or tie.

Or a factory overall, HI-Vis vest..


so yeah...

what attributes are added to you when you wear something particular


what is a person naked?

without anything on, what is the body?


 

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Spore with AI, and the whole human body

Spore was such a fun game to play, seeing the way to evolve an all.
OpenAI or someone with neural machine learning should do a run with the game,
see what kind of creatures they make for the best outcome. haha

also, making a full digital body with all organs and systems such as skeletal bones, lymphatic, blood circulation, lungs, stomach, guts, etc..... they can put that virtual body through Ai too right?

What made me think of this was the boxing game that they did with AI

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

somewhere between a boy and a man

 so i decided to join an online bible study

from faith gateway.. it's by John Eldredge, the Wild at heart one..


cause of the catchy line:

Somewhere between a boy growing up to be a man... 

he sorta gets lost in the middle


i feel somewhat like that


like even though i am 28 years old,

yet i still feel like a kid..


sigh, when will i ever "grow up"

Saturday, September 18, 2021

blistered fingers, to earn wages

Hands were blistering due to screwing on caps...

"earning money is not easy" - Lito

... 

"hows your hand? Is it pain? "
"you'll get used to it"

.... 

First hour we still have strength, 
Then the glove starts to fill up with sweat
The skin gets soft... and sore

Just at one spot, 
The same spot that keeps on getting rubbed... Over and over again... 



Life is like that ain't it. 
When something is droned about repetitively.. It digs in, makes fresh raw, tender.... Pain... 

Until you no longer feel it.. 
And just keep going on with the motion.. 

The lady comes and helps, 
She has many things to look after, 
But once in a while shr drops by to relief us of the containers flying past the convery belt... 

So much difference how one extra person on the assembly line makes. 

3 is really better than 2.
Its synergistic

Well... All we look forward to now is, 
The break time


Ah, rest
Respite 
Relief


If only for a ashort while, 
My blisering hands get to rest

Friday, September 17, 2021

wifi and routers

 So i set up the 3 wifi devices, legacy devices a 5th gen Apple airport extreme (2011) and two Apple airport express devices. they don't use a mesh system and wifi signals pop up and down around the house.


been looking at wifi routers lately, quite addictive. the asus ones look good with what services they provide with their routers, especially gaming. haha the lag can be real. but then again, i don't game that much to justify it.


so anyways, after setting it up.. i had this evil desire to just keep the wifi to myself and crystal.

but that would just be meannnn


i mean... we should share it with the rest of the household right?

after all.... it's what everyone is paying for.. 

good stable fast internet...


sigh


i think i should have delayed it.

maybe just try it out for a week or two to make sure it works.. haha

but then again... nova energy has gotta be better then vodafone right


hmm


anyways.. decided to put it into the house chat group,

so that everyone can just benefit.


wifi signals are shared now.

so is the bandwidth


i dont have everything

but its okay


i have.. friends

which i want to share things with

Thursday, September 16, 2021

big blunder at work

 i told someone my salary offer.

because i don't know how to lie,

and i don't feel comfortable keeping secrets.


but yeah..

learning to say "it's confidential" is so counter culture to what i was brought up in.


the world should be more transparent.

sucks....


now i will have to deal with aunties that are getting paid less at work 



dear God save me

and give me wisdom on how to fix this S#!+ i messed up at

and ... please give grace and mercy to the HR....

Sunday, September 05, 2021

its a blessing

Actually the current government is bearing a heavy weight. If PH was still in power, they would be in the same position and have to deal with the same 'failures' and mockeries of the people

Thursday, August 26, 2021

God is an unchanging god

 So there's this idea that  God never changes right?

but if we read the Bible, multiple times people have been able to 'change' God's mind when they pleaded with Him. Think of Moses, Abraham and many other old testament prophets.

God was like, "I'm not gonna let the Isrealites into the promise land because they keep complaning and don't trust me, even after all I've brought them through" 

and Moses: "aww common, You did so much for us already! what would people say if you left us to die? They'll say You weren't powerful enough to defeat the Amalakites and deliver on Your promise. That'll make You look bad aye?"

God: "Yeah okay you know what, only the kids get to go into the land, and the two guys that saw what was good instead of the bad..."



If God was an all knowing god, already knowing what's going to happen in the future (predestined),

why does He still want to create anything in the first place? especially if it's gonna turn on Him or hurt Him? i.e Adam and Eve was gonna disobey Him, why put the tree of knowledge and give them a command that they could disobey? Humanity was going to sin, He would have to sacrifice His Son Jesus to save us, why make humans at all?


See, I think certain aspects of God is unchanging. His reason for doing things. His promises, His character, His personality. Those things don't change.  

but humans.. humans do change


see, slavery used to be bad aye?

blacks used to be lower class that whites...

actually almost everything in the past repeats a cycle over and over again.


from good, to bad to good again

and then bad


will God accept homosexuals? hmm well in the bible He did smite Sodom and Gomorrah, but was it because of their deviant behaviours? or was it because they were just wicked


God is love right? what is the most loving thing to do?

what would love do?


Progressive Christianity accepts gays and lesbians into their church

well, some churches still dont accept electric guitars and drums

hmm, its really really hard to put a finger on whom is right and whom is wrong

but i think its not so much about saying that the other is bad or not acceptable or not


gee...

how do we all live peacefully

Monday, August 23, 2021

hedgehog's dilemma

 heh the post on upgrading to win10 was actually my 1000th post.

what a way for it to have taken the spot eh...

to think that it would have been something mind blowing or substantial to be written out for such an 'iconic' post number. i guess not everything is glitters


today is 23rd August, Crystal's brithday btw, i didn't plan anything much.

we wanted to go to rainbows end, but i guess that cant happen now with the lockdowns

sigh NZ went back into lockdowns, COvid manage to sneak in from australia


watcching Neon Genesis Evangelion EP4

Shinji reminds me so much of myself.... "doing something" just for the thought of others.

so that other's wont need to 'suffer' or hurt themselves,


i'll be the one to sacrifice myself for the 'greater good'


heh, this messiah complex,

i wonder why i've still no gotten over it


he just.. ran away

just resigned


just... went on with being his own self


do the things that he wanted to do,

not because other people wanted it of him


the Hedgehog's Dilemma


he speaks out like that (in a un nice way)

because he doesn't know how else to express himself

Saturday, August 21, 2021

finally upgraded to windows 10

     So it's about time eh


finally made the jump from windows 7 to windows 10

why?


because windows 7 couldn't run blizzards Diablo 2 

and i wanted to play with Wythe


but even after installing it,

i can't play it because the graphics of this Acer Aspire v3-471G laptop is only a Geforce GT 630M 2GB

talk about ancient tech eh. i still love this laptop so much


owh well


life is quite good without being able to play games anyway. haha

Friday, August 20, 2021

self knowledge

 i dont really know myself nowadays

i wish i did.


i think my life is being too fragmented by all the things that are going on in the world.

do i really need to know?

do i really need to care?



Friday, August 06, 2021

God's wisdom

All wisdom is God's, 
Whether written in His Word or not. 

Thursday, August 05, 2021

linkedin dump for my info..... so cringy

 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters"​ - Colossians 3:23


I like to ask questions if I'm unsure of something. I believe that consistent communication is vital to prevent simple misunderstandings which may lead to bigger consequences. Hence, we should avoid assumptions as much as possible by getting as clear a picture obtainable. More important than money, interest and desire to learn are the main components of taking up a task. However if the need arises, servant hood is chosen above leadership.


Sabbath is a day of rest.

podcast n thoughts

Podcast
Are good

Makes me think
Wish i had time to pause and 
Wrote down thoughts to look back at later

Wednesday, August 04, 2021

habits

Habits and loops,
Ques, Rutines and Rewards
The small little wins, 
The freed mental space. 

Discipline and will power, 
Mental conditions and states of mind,
The brain physically changes, 
Biology is based on chemistry. 

Dopamine, cortisol and hormones, 
Feelings of euphoria in rewards, 
Cravings.... 


Get into a safe environment, 
Have people around.
Not in a room by yourself, 
With the door held open with a stopper

loss of contentment

You dont need to know everything

lost and found

Monday morning so foggy,
Tuesday wind blew strong, 
Lost my redmi casing, 
Found on a Wednesday morning.

Saturday, July 31, 2021

law breaker

As an unclean woman she should have stayed away from people.
Her faith resulted in disobedience to the rules and norms of Jewish society.


Her faith may have resulted in disobedience, but more importantly her faith led her to Jesus.
Faith leads people to Jesus.

Monday, July 26, 2021

temperature (DHT11) with LCD (via i2c)

# Drive 16x2 LCD with i2c LCD
import smbus
import time

# get drives for dht11
import dht11
import RPi.GPIO as GPIO

# define device parameters
I2C_ADDR = 0x27 #address for GPIO pin to LCD
LCD_WIDTH = 16 #Max characters per line

# define GPIO to LCD mapping
Temp_sensor = 14

# Define some device constants
LCD_CHR = 1 # Mode - Sending data
LCD_CMD = 0 # Mode - Sending command

LCD_LINE_1 = 0x80 # LCD RAM address for the 1st line
LCD_LINE_2 = 0xC0 # LCD RAM address for the 2nd line
LCD_LINE_3 = 0x94 # LCD RAM address for the 3rd line
LCD_LINE_4 = 0xD4 # LCD RAM address for the 4th line

LCD_BACKLIGHT  = 0x08  # On
#LCD_BACKLIGHT = 0x00  # Off

ENABLE = 0b00000100 # Enable bit

# Timing constants
E_PULSE = 0.0005
E_DELAY = 0.0005

#Open I2C interface
#bus = smbus.SMBus(0)  # Rev 1 Pi uses 0
bus = smbus.SMBus(1) # Rev 2 Pi uses 1

def main():
  # Main program block
  GPIO.setwarnings(False)
  GPIO.setmode(GPIO.BCM)       # Use BCM GPIO numbers
  instance = dht11.DHT11(pin = Temp_sensor)


  # Initialise display
  lcd_init()

  while True:
        #get DHT11 sensor value
        result = instance.read()
    # Send some test

        if result.is_valid():
                lcd_string("temp:"+str(result.temperature)+" C",LCD_LINE_1)
                lcd_string("humid:"+str(result.humidity)+"%",LCD_LINE_2)
                time.sleep(3) # 3 second delay
                lcd_string("wohooo ",LCD_LINE_1)
                lcd_string("now to get it online",LCD_LINE_2)
                time.sleep(3)




def lcd_init():
  # Initialise display
  lcd_byte(0x33,LCD_CMD) # 110011 Initialise
  lcd_byte(0x32,LCD_CMD) # 110010 Initialise
  lcd_byte(0x06,LCD_CMD) # 000110 Cursor move direction
  lcd_byte(0x0C,LCD_CMD) # 001100 Display On,Cursor Off, Blink Off 
  lcd_byte(0x28,LCD_CMD) # 101000 Data length, number of lines, font size
  lcd_byte(0x01,LCD_CMD) # 000001 Clear display
  time.sleep(E_DELAY)

def lcd_byte(bits, mode):
  # Send byte to data pins
  # bits = data
  # mode = True  for character
  #        False for command

  bits_high = mode | (bits & 0xF0) | LCD_BACKLIGHT
  bits_low = mode | ((bits<<4) & 0xF0) | LCD_BACKLIGHT

  # High bits
  bus.write_byte(I2C_ADDR, bits_high)
  lcd_toggle_enable(bits_high)

  # Low bits
  bus.write_byte(I2C_ADDR, bits_low)
  lcd_toggle_enable(bits_low)

  # Toggle 'Enable' pin
 # lcd_toggle_enable()

def lcd_toggle_enable(bits):
  # Toggle enable
  time.sleep(E_DELAY)
  bus.write_byte(I2C_ADDR, (bits | ENABLE))
  time.sleep(E_PULSE)
  bus.write_byte(I2C_ADDR,(bits & ~ENABLE))

def lcd_string(message,line):
  # Send string to display

  message = message.ljust(LCD_WIDTH," ")

  lcd_byte(line, LCD_CMD)

  for i in range(LCD_WIDTH):
    lcd_byte(ord(message[i]),LCD_CHR)

if __name__ == '__main__':
  try:
    main()
  except KeyboardInterrupt:
    pass
  finally:
    lcd_byte(0x01, LCD_CMD)
    lcd_string("Goodbye!",LCD_LINE_1)
    GPIO.cleanup()


did trees die before the fall of man?

 i wonder if trees ever died before the fall of man.

was death caused by 'sin'. adam and eve's disobedience to God's command not to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge?


heaven, what if it really is like a place with no suffering,

where everyone just accepts their lot in life,

i dont want to have 'responsibilities' after i die, (yeah i'm kinda lazy, and the word kinda makes me think of 'work')


however, if it was do something i'd love to do for eternity i wouldn't mind...

what if heaven is like that, being able to do what we were intended to do from the start


what did God intent for me to do? what was His plan?


hmm...


in nature, everything plays its part,

every organism has its role,

no one is bad nor good,

things grow, reproduce seeds, die

bacteria decomposes the dead into nutrients

for the next generation to use,

it's all a cycle really,

a circle of life,

death and rebirth,

and endless cycle


(i guess that's why the Buddhist keeps trying to escape it)


hmmm..

heaven


where everything is in perfect harmony with each other

no more suffering, no more pain,

no more wars, only peace....


will there still be freedom?

will there still be individuality?

how could a place be conflict free if everyone was still able to keep their own mind,


transformation,

the process of sanctification here on earth 


that's why its so important,

this Christianity thing,

it's preparing each of us for eternity in a way no other process would


heaven isn't a goal, it isn't a destination

it's a process, it's a place where we come to at the end,

it's what's beyond the journey,.. after we've walked it


and it's in this journey,

that we face the struggles, obstacles and challenges in life


that would give us the opportunity to make choices,

that would mould our character


yes...


this is why we're still on earth,

we're not ready for heaven yet


keep on living




there will be joy

Saturday, July 24, 2021

purposely intention (刻意 Kèyì) vs special intention (特意 Tèyì)

 刻意 -Kèyì

so apparently, there's this saying in chinese called Ke(4) Yi(4) which means "deliberately" when translated into english. But see in english the word deliberately can be used for both good and bad actions/intentions.

Ke yi is doing something on purpose KNOWING that it is bad.

like, i know it its wrong to do this at my work place,
but i still choose to do it.


mind blowing eh,

if you have a word in language that actually describes this malice (恶意, Èyì)

... hmmm... well maybe the english language also has it haha.


but anyways..

the oppposite of Keyi is Tèyì (特意)

Which is like.. doing something good, (but translates to "specially" on google translate)

i think it's like.. benovelent? (仁慈 Réncí)



anyways... i just asked my GF whom speaks chinese.

so yeah the 意 Yi means intention

刻 Ke is purposely

特 Te is specially 


so the examples she gaves was

use keyi for not throwing out the rubbish (even though you know you should do it)

and teyi for preparing a present for someone (something good you'd wanna do)


tadaaa! some chinese lessons for today,

feel free to correct me in the comments or give your opinions about it


owhhh and there's another: 故意 Gùyì

its used when you're accusing someone of doing something bad.. lol