i'm sorry that you had to do that,
on such a special day.
you must have felt really uneasy,
to do a thing we don't normally do,
to be asked to do something by someone that has been our guardian for our whole life growing up.
the scales fall off our eyes.
when we're in love, its true, we are blind to the others shortcommings
love is blind as the saying goes
and there will be days that we see our partner through and outsiders perspective
we see all the flaws and imperfections
however, we still choose the path of love,
when we say "I love you" and hear them say it back,
as if nothing ever went thought their mind like what had just gone through yours..
such an unconditional love, had to be a deliberate choice made as a covenant and keeping to the promise of the wedding vows.
many don't nowadays, and take it lightly.
its good that you never held it agains't your mom,
i would never have known if you had never had shared,
there is no outward display or resentment or grudges,
truely forgiveness is a miracle.
when we can talk abouti t and share it to someone else,
healing takes place,
because then it is not kept in darkenss where sin has power,
it is brought to light where we see it for what it truely is,
insignificant and a small matter.
no matter is too small, nor too big to be of concern,
but it's how we choose to deal with it..
a small matter can make a mountain out of a mole hill,
while a big matter are.. we... big issues.
-----
rarely can you find a partner that allows you to do the things that still make you you,
if you have, theasure them like the most precious pearl, not all oysters will have them.
they don't insist on changing you, or restricting you from doing this or that,
-----
when having conversations, amongst all the things that have been said,
listen out for the line that the person most identifies is as the most important...
it might not just be sharing facts or information,
but emotion and ... something really deep inside them that they are finally allowing out,
that they are trusting you with,
a privallege for you to listen to
-----
you can buy as much gold as you want now, gold and silver bars,
but you have chosen not to find your value in earthly treasures.
a heart of gold, money can't buy.
a household of hope, peace and love.
comes through hardship, challenges and storms weathered together.
the saying goes, for a mom tellign the daughter:
would you rather laugh on a bicycle,
or cry in a BMW.
a some moments they think it's okay.
that money is still worth the sacrifice of happiness
but it's only true if its not exceberated over days,
because its the small things that builds up and causes the strain
------
marrying into wealth is what the world tells us to do.
find someone whom can take care of you,
it's a maternal instinct, to look for the wellbeing of our offspring,
which we spent so much effort and resources to raise
- all that time, cleaning up the mess, feeding food, sleepless nights
gold was an indicator that they can be taken care off.
but only when it is not used to show off to others....
because if you start on that foot path,
it well never end for that race in keeping up with the joneses
if you gave in there, do you think it'll stop?
you would have to buy the mansion as your first home
the most expensive sports car, putting you in huge debt..
and financial obligations a young married couple should not endure.
statistically, the bigger the weddings are,
the higher the possibility of divorce.
if you've found a partner that marries you for innate qualities,
and not for the external showoff wealth,
and you build a life of weath together,
that is true wealth.
because it doesn't matter if it was bags of gold,
or just two copper coins.
it has always been what comes from the heart
and offering of meat, but not from first choice of lambs
versus the offering form the first fruits harvested and the best of the crop
money can buy gold,
money can't buy a first class gold coin from a unviversity..
money can buy first class tickets abroad,
but it can't buy going to sleep with a smile on your face
with no fights happening in the house
money can buy a good bed,
but true rest and sleep, only God can grant when we share the yoke with Him.
weak and heavy ladden we are. tried....
come to CHirst to find rest
-------
you already have an indicator of how we choose to live life,
a professor that rides a honda kapchai to lectures.
it's not that we cannot afford a decent car
yes it's true we can't buy a ferrari, if you want to see supercars go to dubai.
you'll see how sick they get of it.
it's not that we can't afford overseas travels,
it's that we find its not the destination but the journies together as a family that matters
the time spent at the fishing ponds, ex mining pools in ipoh
driving off road, having no phone signal, having no hand phones at all in fact...
fishing till dark, and getting lost on the way out....
what i would give to have that quality family time together again
not having my hand glued to this small device that is stealing so much of my attention away from my child
----
but nostalgia is the theif of joy too,
the best is always yet to come.
--
what we chose instead is to seek first the kingdom of God,
we didn't go all the way out an become a celibated monk that renouced all attachment to earth,
nor did we mix it up with prosperity and an extravegantly rich life....
generosity can only happen when one's heart has already been full,
when it is not full of one's self, but satisfied enough with all the oil that CHirst has pour and anointed over our heads that it overflows in to the life of others...
it isn't our blessing that we give onto others,
we are just the channel for the blessings that come from God through Christ into our lives
yewks served his time in the holy crusade as a fES staff worker,
a job that is not about money
not about savings lives
not about having a saiour mentality
or false humilty
