so yeah, did i fail you God? after all that you have brought me through in life, after being faithful and proven trough smaller trials and temptations, when i face a bigger thing, why has my heart crumbled? why did i not do the right thing and seek You first before taking things into my own hands. i really thought my own understanding was more than enough to amend the problem, and i thought that you would just bless the decisions i make like a genie. like how You've always done when i was a young child.
when i was a young christian, things used to go so smoothly, life in communion with Him was a bliss and daily life was a nice stroll in the park. but i know as i grow older, the path shall be more laden with stones, and i need to keep a much more open eye, least i trip. real man never trip. even if they do they do not admit it.
but every time i fall, it is a better state than being lukewarm, cause then there is a chance to rise again, to take hold of His hand again and be pulled up by grace. to feel His touch and grip His nail pierced hands.
The blood that flowed from them is more than able to wash away my shame. i no longer need to hide my wrong, for in confession and prevalence comes a testimony that just goes to show how He aids us to sore over the storms.
Or so i taught that i was right,
to confront a man older than i.
to assume and accuse,
thank God I didn't spark a fight.
My heart was aching from harboring,
a taint cause by evil's blight.
Everything at the end of the day,
shall eventually come to light.
I taught it was my very right,
to amend wrongs with my own might,
I taught i didn't need the Lord,
I've been through this before.
It was like rowing a boat it the storm,
using my strength to reach the shore.
Little did i know how grieve a failure,
my actions would be without His counsel.
To think i should, actually blurted it all out,
i should have kept my lips shut with a suture.
Now i learn that only certain people,
can handle what i think is simple.
To not be labelled judgmental,
is more than saying 'grow up' typical.
True love disciplines a loved one,
but i was in no position or authority,
As much as i wanted to get it done,
this needed to be dealt with spiritually.
A case that involved me,
somehow was not my fight to be,
I was just a passer by,
that God may shine unconditionally.
palms 36 talks about how i actually schemed to do wrong =(
but 2 Corinthians 6:8 says
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that in all things at all times, having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work."