Thursday, September 29, 2016

Eternity is now

Eternity is always and has always been exhausting parallel to the present . What I do now affects it.

Contrary to what I've been believing all this while that eternity only starts after dying in the present world.

Thursday, September 15, 2016


Forgiveness is not only receiving the verbal words from the one we have wronged, but also the ability to accept them in all their fullness with our hearts. That the restoration of a relationship to a point that is greater than it was before would take place.

Monday, September 12, 2016


do you know why i dont like talking to you?
because i don't like other people listening to what i have to say.

just like how you dont like your housemate saying "sensitive" things in the whatsapp group.
so i too dont want to become that person.

its not that i'm quite,
it's just that you always want me to me noisy.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

In Christ, a whole different meaning

And let me make it quite clear that when Christians say the Christ-life is in them, they do not mean simply something mental or moral. When they speak of being ‘in Christ’ or of Christ being ‘in them’, this is not simply a way of saying that they are thinking about Christ or copying Him. They mean that Christ is actually operating through them; that the whole mass of Christians are the physical organism through which Christ acts—that we are His fingers and muscles, the cells of His body. And perhaps that explains one or two things. It explains why this new life is spread not only by purely mental acts like belief, but by bodily acts like baptism and Holy Communion. It is not merely the spreading of an idea; it is more like evolution—a biological or superbiological fact. There is no good trying to be more spiritual than God. God never meant man to be a purely spiritual creature. That is why He uses material things like bread and wine to put the new life into us. We may think this rather crude and unspiritual. God does not: He invented eating. He likes matter. He invented it.

C.s. Lewis - mere Christianity

Thursday, September 08, 2016

just a consumer

dont just be a Consumer,
be a Producer

not waiting, an opened parcel

ah woke up today, was a little late for class caused i deley-delayed.

in scjool between classes i went with Miao to return the equipment i borrowed.
however i'm missing one measuring tape (that i think it's still with Gavin)
but he says no. then i came up with a scheme to take one from the outside and "replace" it.
but its evil. and thankfull God sent someone with me to watch over me.
it wasn't that bad talking to Sir David. in the end he just advised top get a replacement from a hardware shop it it really did go smissing.

sigh all these assuptions and uneeded fears that crop up because we fear to ask.

after the second class today i rushed home on the bike,.
just in time to catch the GDex courrier van driving off from the house. THANK GOD!
chased him down and stopped by the side of the road with him to get the parcel.

YESSSsssss. (the feeling of being away from home knowning that a parcel is coming is really really, uncomfortable). i'm glad i didn't miss this one./

the first parcel came today it was the D-Link router i bought on lazada.
should have waited till night time to open it with roomates to enjoy it more.
so much for delayed gratification. i should reallly learn to hold back so that the joy may be more complete.
i taught opening it up would be an exciting feeling (new stuff right)
but nope. i still feel as if there was void in me =(

anyways i packed it all back into the wraps and gdex plastic (not perfectly though)
and plan to open it up again as if it was the first time.

but i know.... its not going to be the same feeling as waiting.
its like, opening up something that has already been used/spoiled. sigh.

am i really fasting. i read a little bit of the bible today and a little in the afternoon. the day seems to be better. i wonder if it's just a psycological thing of is it really happening.

our world is so shaped by consumerism and aedversiting of marketed products.
what Do we really NEED.

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

bad day

yesterday was a good day, it started off with reading the first three chapters of Romans (cause Jeff asked for it). the day went on smoothly and i felt that it was productive and efficient. it was nice fun, and i had times to be with loved ones. well, yesterday i didnt have any class and it was blissful.

but today, oh hell, today was a bad day
i didn't have a morning class and could sleep as much as i wanted
but i woke up and used whastapp and the laptop first instead of seeking You
i said i would do it first thing in the morning to prioritize you, but heck.


the first bad thing that happened today was that i went to school and supposed to have lunch with Crystal after cancelling lunch with Daryl because he had class (which was cancelled and he asked for lunch again, but i had to reject because i already had a "date") which didn't work out in the end because i didn't bring an extra helmet (i didn't know i was supposed to fecth) i taught that she would meet there along with joyce.but screw it, i just enojyed my rice and fried batter fish.

the second bad thing that happened was that a lady wanted to sit down, and i looked like i was going off but didn't. i should have offered my place to her (she looked like a tourist) i wasn't very hospitable or warm. i felt so guilty. later on a place with a better view opened up but i missed the opportunity by being selfish. thankfully that was rectified when i saw some juniors and offered them to share the table with me. theres something about people not sharing tables with strangers nowadays. so unfriendly.

the third thing that happened was that i came home early and instead of spending quite time was that i played far cry 3 instead. well it was fun, i enjoyed it. browsed Steam and was thinking what if i took down the path of a gamer. and life, why is there so many things to do but so little time

the fourth thing that happened was frisbee. this was fun, i'm glad i decided to cycle there. the sweat the adrenaline the jopy the fun. its all worth it. the only mistake was that i wore my xiaomi band to play, and it poped out without me knowing, i only later on founbd out about it when i got home.
owh well, it was a free gift from Chun Hao, thanks while it lasted it was fun. used it quite a bit in the beginning but later on i really didn't bother to check the apps anymore. this social fitness thing is really rubbish. why else do i want to share my results to others than to show off.

owh and i spilled Dom Benedictine (its sweet) on my freshly washed bed sheet and sunned mattress.
i tauhgt of just leaving it, but.. my housemate encouraged me to wash it again, least the ants come.

so yeah, life.
is.. hard enough.
i dont want to make it harder,
please. please just....

i'm currently waiting in the living roof for dinner.
i turned down going out with wai yip and Mivoli,
just to... shut out every one.

i feel like shutting out everyone.

Monday, September 05, 2016

un-used to laws

today was the first day of the semester.
i parked my bike under the foyer.

and got a saman.

sigh, gotta get back to being use.
by laws