Saturday, May 16, 2015

study hobby

"do not let what you are forced to study,
prevent you from doing your hobby"

Friday, May 15, 2015

Marrying for the sake of it.

What if...

A guy and a girl falls in love.
But they do not decided to commit to each other in marriage before sleeping together.

And in all their joy, pleasure and happiness... They conceive a child unintentionally..

Yes even accidents have their grave consequences.

Should they both get married even though they come from vastly different backgrounds.. Hold different principals and policies in life.. Different source of guidance.. One divinely and the other humanely.

Wouldn't they be better off unmarried. Why does one mistake have to lead to another? Why can't the unhealthy chain just stop...

Marrying the wrong person is one of the greatest mistakes. As some might say. I don't think there is a perfect person anyway. I just think that no h sides of the couple constantly puts effort into making the relationship work. This is life together without God.

In a Christian marriage. God is there. God is the one whom pulls both together. Find God first, find our ministry and calling.. Then lastly find our mate there who has the same view on life, same dreams and goals, same path to walk on.

Less strive. Less effort. Less conflicts. No.. I believe all relationships still need effort on our part, its something like.. Working out our salvation. Just that God does have a special person in mind for us to marry. I believe He had a plan.. To prosper us.. And to give us life abundantly.

Then what? Should the girl carry the baby inside her to full term? Should she abort it.. Should the kid live a bastard life all because the father choose to 'follow god'.. A missionaries child.. A pastor's kid. Those are different stories.

I want to be a dad. To have kids.. At the right time. In the right place. With the right person. But God.. It is so so hard. The temptations of this world. The sin.. The openness to adultery.

I want to stand on being pro-life. I don't know how I could live on knowing I supported pro-choice.. Aborting my very own son. I used to say that academics went everything when I was scoring all A's. I said it to people who were complaining.. no.. Who were sorrowful for what the education system made them feel like... For labeling them as failures...

I uses to say it wasn't everything, until I found myself in their shoes..

And now I say that no one should support abortion.. If I was a married man with kids and a happy family, I can see why.. It would be so easy to say so. But  a teenager.. A whole world crumbles by this event. Life plans take a big detour.. No.. A big completely different path..

I wouldn't.. I think I wouldn't be okay if I killed someone. A murderer.. I'm not sure about the girl.. I wonder if she would think anything about it. That's the fear I have, that I leave a person broken. That I leave and never come back to help. I keep thinking that they won't have it good after me... That she would be incapable of taking care of herself after all this...

Sometimes I'm wrong.. Sometimes I worry.. I have ni peace. I should believe that everyone can handle themselves perfectly fine. That their blood is ni longer on my hands. That the actions they choose to do are theirs alone and whatever burden is to be carried on their shoulders.. Without me willing to help.

I am selfish. I want only the best for me. I hate this part in me as soon as I relaised it. Why did it stay hidden for so long.

Or did it just pop up suddenly. Was I never selfish to begin with. But changing to be more evil the more I strayed away from Christ. No.. I always had this innate sin in me. In my flesh. Because I've never submitted it to death on the cross before.. To Christ to deal with it.

Keep forgetting to carry the cross daily. It's taking its toll on me. Life isn't lighter not holding up the burden of Christ (which he helps us carry) ... Life gets worse without the cross on our shoulders.

We pick up ridiculous things from the world. We marry for the sake of marrying.

Monday, May 11, 2015

criticize me please

i think its good that people offer 'criticism' to help an author review his initial idea and improve it. we all work together =) asking questions can be a positive and constrictive.

Saturday, May 09, 2015


Navigation test. Didn't prepare.. Didn't walk on the ridge. Didn't have coordinates.. Focused planning in what didn't matter. Went through 3 valleys.

Life. Like the sower scattering seed on the 4 lands. We had to go through so many thorns. Got stung by wasp.. Something that made me run for my life from something dangerous..

God, why don't I run from the temptations that are dangerous to my soul?

I want to be like the fertile land, producing harvest... Not getting choked by the weeds of this world. By the gifts and nicely wrapped presents that require me to lay down my cross to pick them up.

I want to carry the cross

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

When I look into Your Holiness. All in

"When I look into Your Holiness,
When I gaze into Your loveliness,
When all things that surround,
Become shadows in the light of You.

When I've found the joy of reaching Your heart,
When my will becomes enthralled in Your love,
When all things that surround
Become shadows in the light of You.

I worship You, I worship You,
The reason I live, is to worship You."

Lord, i dont want to see the world in the wrong light that comes from it,
i want you to be bright in my life that even the most lustrous thing on this earth seems dull.

attract my soul to you Lord, and let me realise that all that's around me are just shadows.
let my choices and decisions i make be entwined with Your will and purpose.

You speak, I listen.
You call, I come
You send, I go
You command, I obey.

If i were not to do these things, than why remain a Christian,
I'm either all in, or not in at all.

Monday, May 04, 2015

Lvl 6 in miri library

Fun game. I've reached level 6 as an #Ingress agent.

Saturday, May 02, 2015


Are nerves the only way to feel?
Humans search for scientific reasons,
And sometimes forget that there's more to life,
Than just what we know.