Wednesday, October 01, 2014

love's shortcomings

love is not just looking beyond someone's shortcomings and accepting them as who they are.

love is taking the responsibility of helping the other person change for the better.

yes it isn't going to be easy, its not a breeze, it might get in the way of the current care-free life.

thats commitment

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

i fear, that i am wasting my time.
i fear that after all this it will be in vain.
i fear that what i do will not be reciprocated.
i fear that my efforts...

sigh. GOd in you. i do not fear.

Monday, September 29, 2014

self efficacy

Topic 1. Activity 2.
Self efficacy
Is what people label others with when they see them achieving something amazing. Its a character we use to explain why others get to do such things that look like fun or success, be it climbing a mountain or owning an expensive car. Its a very materialistic worldly point of view, to believe so strongly in oneself. Dangerous too, because if "fail" to achieve the goal we set for ourselves, we tend to think it was our fault for not having enough "faith" and "trust" in ourselves.
I believe that a greater sense of efficacy is when we trust in something transcendent. Something that can never fail us, the source of our strength doesn't come from withing, for it will eventually run out if it does. It comes from without, from a source that will never run dry.

Stop trusting in mankind so much, we are not the center of the universe. know what the greater plan for your life is. There is a will for each and every individual. You will know it, just as He did. Live to love others.

If one thinks he can only run a marathon, start a successful business, win competitions by repeating the words "i am a winner" to himself countless times, look in the mirror and see himself as something he is not, walk into enemy territory, purposely set ourselves in difficult situations. seriously?

okay so thats what i wanted to write.. but i cant... or shouldn't.. because marking schemes are dogmatic

"It is to believe in oneself when the odds are stacked against him. It is usually a term used when the goal is hard to achieve. The person has to persevere and try hard to overcome the problems and obstacles in front of him. From all the examples, the pictures show things that are downright impossible for a normal person in the right mind to do. Like stunts on a motorbike, climbing an icy glacial, a cat walking in front of a row of dogs. The person has to have a lot of bravery, or is just very dull to do. Although i do believe that one can run a marathon despite whatever they physiological state of himself might be in. It is a mind game."

that was the closes i could get before ranting.

Week 2. Video 2.1 Tesco in South Korea.

1. What is the goal of Tesco?

To become the number one stall without fighting the same way as what the other competitors were doing.

2. What ideas did Tesco propose?  

To go against the flow, instead of people coming to them they bring the stall to the people. They also incorporate new up to date technology like smartphones and bar code scanning.

3. What was important to ensure that the ideas were feasible? 

The idea was possible and easy to do as it was a convenient thing that everyone had access to. People walk pass the subway, so they put their banners where there's high traffic. People commute and wait for public transports, so they have that extra time to virtually shop. Most people already have smartphones, so they do not nee to purchase a special device just to participate in this.

4. What benefits did Tesco enjoy after imposing the creative ideas?

Increase in sales, membership and revenue. Most importantly, they helped improve the lives of shoppers.

Monday, September 22, 2014

deeper- Ed. Chan cpt 3

so picked up a few lines:

a theology that cannot stand the onslaught of anguish is worthless.

we live in an age of unmitigated anthropocentric narcissism. facebook.
malcolm muggeridge: "what will finally destroy us is not communism of fascism, but man acting like God"

"beware of placing the emphasis on what prayer cost us: it cost God everything to make it possible for us to pray." - oswald chambers

that which informs the mind must also inspire the heart
-thelogical content vs contemplation

pathetic- to see God as irrelevant to life except when we are in trouble.

lebih indah dari pelangi

ku bukan melilih Tuhan tetapi Ia yang memilih ku.
Being precedes doing.

i didn't choose to come to Ums as my first choice in forestry.
God chose me to come here. and there is a purpose.
least i forget my objective.

Chirst be the center and lead me.

you know the song, indah Yesus ku Indah?
it has these lines: lebih indah dari pelangi, bintang di langit dan bunga di taman...

i study forestry. do you know how beautiful flowers are?
and to think, if i came from a kampung, heck.. from the city.. the rainbow is one of the most beautiful things i've ever beheld with my eyes.... and gosh, have you seen the stars in the night sky without light pollution? its freaking.. beautiful..

and for a Chirstian to sing.. "my God is more beautiful than all these"

God are you more beautiful than all i have in my life?
the achievements, the past, the freindships, the love, the money, the things i own, the time i have..
God... you are.. the most beautiful

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Is Gender a qualitative or quantitative

value... (if not the title would just have been terribly grammatically wrong, as if my spelling was any better)
so at our first biometric tutorial we had to figure out which statements were nominal, ordinal, interval, ratio scales. then we had to figure if statements were qualitative or quantitative

there was one which went like this

"Gender of student* in a conference"
Answer: ???

so there's a big difference on
"How many Genders of students in a conference?"


"How many boy and girl students in a conference"

the first would be qualitative if you ask me,
the second two quantitative,

why so?
lets take an example using colored pens. blue and red.
there are 100 blue pens and 30 red pens.

if i ask:
"Color of pens in a box"
the answer would be: blue and red. qualitative (cause, colors are the best example of quality, even if they can now be counted quantitatively through scales and numerals of hue, gamma and contrast)

"Number of colors of pens in the box"
answer: 2 colors. blue and red. quantitative

"Number of blue and red pens in the box"
answer: 100 blue pens and 30 red pens.

so.. see the similarity?
if i were to ask.
gender of students, you cant answer me with a numerical value. its just gonna be male or female. not even in percentage. if i ask how many genders, then you can add in the word "two". but no more explanation than that. only if i asked how many male and female students are there, then it would be a certified genuine quantitative question/statement,

its like. menilai dan mengira.
to define a student if he was a boy or girl, one has to discern. which is a qualitative choice.
you cannot "count" a student if he is a boy or girl. cause.. there ain't such thing as 60% boy and 40% girl.

its like, jim and alee are saying that this statement is qualitative,
i) gender of students saying it is qualitative
ii) what is the gender saying this statement is qualitative
iii) how many students in the gender (male) are saying this statement is qualitative.

if it was nominal like,

1 + 2 = 3.
there is no three.
although nominal can be a quantitative scale. yet....
you cannot calculate gender

same goes with brands.
"brands of hand phones bought by consumers"
it is a qualitative statement if you ask me.
yes some might say you can count how many samsung phones are bought by people, how many sony phones, and how many nokia phones. but see the question is not

"how many hand phones in certain brands bought by consumers"
"hand phone brand's bought by consumers"

a consumer cannot "buy" the brand.
he buys a phone made by the brand.

you dont buy 60%.. err.. 0.00001% of samsung everytime your purchase a phone.

you cant calculate the brand of phones bought
you only can calculate the number of phones of certain brands bought.

If I buy one sumsung phone. And Another guy buys one more sumsung phone.
There are two sumsung phones. Yes they can be counted.

But we didn't buy the brands. We both have cumulatively sumsung phones.
There is still only one brand, sumsung. It is an entity that cannot be valued numerically.

well the one we won was
"type of car driven by students in ums"
answer: qualitative
why? because there is no proper definition for the amount of cars out there. yes one can try to classify them into SUVs, 4X4, sedan, racers, hatchbacks, muscle, etc.. but the sheer amount of variety there is just makes it.. un-quantifiable. hence, why we do not classify cars into Toyota's, Honda's or Mercs.

on a side note, remember how we used to say "more water" as in, "there is more water in this bucket than the other" because, theoretically, without a standard scale we wouldn't be able to know what liters or paints are.. it would just be "alot of water" and "a little water". something like "big" and "small" .. who ever gave the right to anyone to define what is "big" and "how big must something be to be considered big" (something like the "how much good is good enough)

but because the general population agrees that 1 cubic meter or water equals to 1 liter. so thus... the fluid has become, quantifiable by weighing, err.. wait no.. but.. measuring in a cylinder.

so it should be "how many more liters of water is there in this bucket than the other"
like.. how many people are in a room. how much more people are there in this room than the next.

worse, how much hues is this chili red differing from that magenta. or is it supposed to be 'many'. i'm confused.

much= uncountable
many= countable

heck. everything can and should be quantifiable.
even thoughts. science wants to do that. science wants to put a value and number to everything around us. even.. thoughts.

back then in the past, our emotions, feelings, imaginations were qualitative.
but now which academicians doing research and surveys into everything they can lay their hands on.. statistics appear everywhere.

they say numbers dont lie. they are facts that speak the truth.
but ... they can be manipulated. and they can be honestly miscalculated.

so, what say you?
* i take it as an honest mistake, it should be, and we all know. it is a typo for "students"

Friday, September 05, 2014


so yeah, i was supposed to fly back on monday (1st september) but then thing is when i checked the date out it read 1st October.. zzz.. doesnt oct come after august??

so thank you air asia for letting me modify my flight date for a penalty, and your phone app is so consumer friendly. monday was too near and too expensive, so i took thursday.

the extra days given were .. a blessing. its like, you know those times where you'd think it was the last day you have here. but then you randomly get blessed with some extra time. in those moments, you feel every second preciously. "living on borrowed time" . it makes so much sense to know when our end is so that we dare to do crazy stuff while we still can. but the thing is, we never know when the end of humanity is.

so yeap, enjoyed lots of dinner parties, took a poor accused child swimming, rode the modenas jaguh at the max trottle on ron97. missed so many double clashed events for commitment to certain appointments. said the right things, said the wrong things.

its going out of our daily lives that we see the point in life. experience.

so for the day i was supposed to fly back,
mom took me to paradigm to hop on at RM10 bus to KLIA2. at 2.00pm cause there was no 3.30 bus as stated in the schedule. mom had the gut feeling to call em and find out bout that.

so i bummed around, went into the apple store for a while, crazy.. so expensive.

talked to some random HK lady waiting for the bus, hopped onto it just as it started to pour. owh boy.. the rainy season is here. the bus picked up some dude waiting along the side of the road, he was drenched.

talked to the bus driver on the way, he's.. talkative, and really knows his roads. took a detour to skip a jam. reached the crazy huge mall airport.. walked around.. starring at the random international people passing by. went to a book store, read "fault in our stars" up to chapter 3. mhmm john green, i remember his videos on you tube. really smart guy. a leader of somesort too in the episcopal church. and the wy he writes.. just shows that chirstians arent boring. he.. has a really amazing mind. i admire him.

hopped on board the plane, sat beside a sabahan. talked to him about how... the younger peeps want to break away from the land =P haha.. yeah sab's been a sovereign nation. for a few days. and blablabla oil royalty, IC's given out, timber, putrajaya, blackout, opposition, etc.

arrived at the airport, realizing i did not plan nuts for what im supposed to do when i'm here. i was in KL using the public transport system so much i totally forgot sabah is... lacking in these amenities. well they have a airbus, but it only works from 7am-7pm. so yeah.... why did i book my flight so late!!

i really like taking public transport nowadays. compared to driving or asking friends with personal cars to pick me up it feels.. liberating to know one can get around without getting... snagged behind.

anways, called aunt cause, she's so nice. went to her house to stay a night. talked a whole lotta crazy cool stuff with her. about how its not about preachers saying "dont" anymore but how the church says, "come share openly what you face, there is no shame there is no judgment"

thats the way to go lah. ate darap. delicious

in the morning, woke up. wonderful frech toast breakfast. do you know how nice food taste when you're hungry.. or been through it.. even char siew pow in the toilet taste good k. anyways... reminds me of how Jesus said go.. without preparing.. and randomly find people to feed ya. crazy.

so yup, went to the HEP in kg E earlier today. after installing wassap on a Asus tablet which didnt have a sim. never knew it was so funky and easy to do.

at the office talked to the maxis booth guy. he helped me fix the issue of my broadband not working in my moto g. its kinda easy, settings of the APN add a maxis on with "bbnet"

then, as i was walking to the office to get my keys, some officer saw me and told me that seniors aint supposed to come back within the orientation week. haha! must be trying to aviod ragging or 'disturbance' .. but common.. look at my face! ... anyways walked to 1B. the back way.

read some crap in harris.

walked to the front of 1B to take a bus to KingFisher.. but .. it was going to seppnagar.. and dropped me off at KF sulaman.. zz well.. good thing is they guy gave me a free ride =) then i went to the opposite side and hopped on the bus to go back down south. sat beside a dude from.. sabah. talked to him a lil bout life... polytech.. hmm

walked over to HOJ. =) ah.. the bliss

Prov 16:9
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

Wednesday, September 03, 2014


crap, just watched beautiful people from marilyn manson.
the images link so much to blame! by nihei.

... mhmm... better watch myself closely that i dont get sucked into that culture.
occult. devil worshiping. anti-Christ...

of all the religions, why choose to pick and fight with Jesus specifically?
why not buddha or Muhmhd. zzz..

satan's been upping his game since adam&eve's time.
something about torture and disfigured bodies that.. appeal to the fall mind's nature.

God... bible verse....

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Rm 12:2

alrite, recharged. gogogo....
keep on striving for the right path... dont slip.. dont slip

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

enlighten, meaningless meaningless! everything is!

there's something about riding a bike that grows up a guy

you realize that all the roads are connected somehow, you start to draw maps in your mind.

cause you cant rely on a GPS... reading a map. hence, my bike riding like i'm on a dragon.. or horse.. =l

BST is selling a really nice northdace bag and sjacket with a hardshell and inner fleece

something about people who like water, and mermaids... and sirens.. and how they have such playful hearts. hence, my attraction to beaches and surfing pants.

cloud atlas begins to make sense. everything's connectected. as in.. someone else might have lived your life before you. hence... theory of rebirths and reincarnations.

"stand by me" movie is.. something you want a friend to mention to you. after waling in the dark park at night... talking and reminiscing about MS-DOS and time before smartphones.

sometimse i type out things without thinking. they aren't really true, but i'd like to think they would be one day. its not prophesying, its just assumptions. written in the present tense so they.. dont really make sense or arent accurate at the moment of publishing.

like issac asimove's sci-fi... now i see why dad likes sci-fi. its like.. dreams. that eventually come true. (cant wait for mankind to go to the final frontier, space) =D

its like, when i want to be detached from this world,
at the point of giving it up for the Lord,
then the temptation comes in.. to buy more stuff, get back into hoarding and materialism.

the ALS ice bucket challenge is waking people up. from their daily mundane boring lives.


something about swimming that grows up a boy.

you jump into the unknown.
water rushes into your lungs, you feel like dying.
a hand reaches out to hold you, you grab onto it for life's sake.
you feel the confirmation, the comfort, the strong firmness.. you feel safe.

dad, thanks for teaching me how to swim when i was a kid.
and even at this age, still bringing me to the pool in KJ.

as i grow older, i realize that there's so much more to wadding in the pool like a struggling animal
the freestyle, the hydro-dynamics, the stroke... efficiency in each small movement.
you feel it more in water, with the resistance of the more heavily denser liquid
then running on land with just wind resistance (unless you ride a bike)

the alternate 3 and 5 stroke per breath,
compared to the basic single sided right breath per 2 strokes.

the slithering of the body like a serpent.. or mermaid,
and the splashing arms of the butterfly

the gliding and alternate stroke of the frog,
compared to the symmetrical leg push arm pull...
the breaths, of once per stroke or 2 exhales underwater before taking a deep one in at the surface.

or even diving.

there's something about swimming, that gives time to one to think
from the moment you strip down to bear trunks,
standing under the shower that keeps the pool crystal clear,
hot water heated up by the sun gushes out first,
and then the cold part from the underground pipes...

all the way to finished a 20 volley with dad,
sitting at the edge of the pool, chatting.. like old men.
life stories seem to come out easier after exhaustion.

there's something about swimming, that i want to pass on to my kid one day