Tuesday, September 02, 2014

enlighten, meaningless meaningless! everything is!

there's something about riding a bike that grows up a guy

you realize that all the roads are connected somehow, you start to draw maps in your mind.

cause you cant rely on a GPS... reading a map. hence, my bike riding like i'm on a dragon.. or horse.. =l

BST is selling a really nice northdace bag and sjacket with a hardshell and inner fleece

something about people who like water, and mermaids... and sirens.. and how they have such playful hearts. hence, my attraction to beaches and surfing pants.

cloud atlas begins to make sense. everything's connectected. as in.. someone else might have lived your life before you. hence... theory of rebirths and reincarnations.

"stand by me" movie is.. something you want a friend to mention to you. after waling in the dark park at night... talking and reminiscing about MS-DOS and time before smartphones.

sometimse i type out things without thinking. they aren't really true, but i'd like to think they would be one day. its not prophesying, its just assumptions. written in the present tense so they.. dont really make sense or arent accurate at the moment of publishing.

like issac asimove's sci-fi... now i see why dad likes sci-fi. its like.. dreams. that eventually come true. (cant wait for mankind to go to the final frontier, space) =D

its like, when i want to be detached from this world,
at the point of giving it up for the Lord,
then the temptation comes in.. to buy more stuff, get back into hoarding and materialism.

the ALS ice bucket challenge is waking people up. from their daily mundane boring lives.


something about swimming that grows up a boy.

you jump into the unknown.
water rushes into your lungs, you feel like dying.
a hand reaches out to hold you, you grab onto it for life's sake.
you feel the confirmation, the comfort, the strong firmness.. you feel safe.

dad, thanks for teaching me how to swim when i was a kid.
and even at this age, still bringing me to the pool in KJ.

as i grow older, i realize that there's so much more to wadding in the pool like a struggling animal
the freestyle, the hydro-dynamics, the stroke... efficiency in each small movement.
you feel it more in water, with the resistance of the more heavily denser liquid
then running on land with just wind resistance (unless you ride a bike)

the alternate 3 and 5 stroke per breath,
compared to the basic single sided right breath per 2 strokes.

the slithering of the body like a serpent.. or mermaid,
and the splashing arms of the butterfly

the gliding and alternate stroke of the frog,
compared to the symmetrical leg push arm pull...
the breaths, of once per stroke or 2 exhales underwater before taking a deep one in at the surface.

or even diving.

there's something about swimming, that gives time to one to think
from the moment you strip down to bear trunks,
standing under the shower that keeps the pool crystal clear,
hot water heated up by the sun gushes out first,
and then the cold part from the underground pipes...

all the way to finished a 20 volley with dad,
sitting at the edge of the pool, chatting.. like old men.
life stories seem to come out easier after exhaustion.

there's something about swimming, that i want to pass on to my kid one day

Sunday, August 31, 2014


Woke up a minute too late
I've already said my proper goodbyes the night before.

There's something about technology that makes last minute waves seem.. Indifferent.
Why is it a culture to text and wassap just before the plane flies off?

"Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again"

If I could turn back time, I would have said.... I would have written so many things.

"Bring back stories" "will be here waiting for you" and... The list can go on and on.

When will the time come to just put a full stop and ... End all of this

Imagine, if you were talking to someone... Saying goodbyes at the airport. Tears flowing down from both sides. Only to realise that, you're going to meet that person on the other side.

At the Arrival. I shall see you. Lord Jesus Christ.

Friday, August 22, 2014

wedding dress

"You look beautiful in that wedding dress"
Is what I want to say to my wife next time.... on our marriage day.
I'm sorry i cant say it to you now, I don't want to commit adultery. Not to my future wife, nor to your future husband.
Take care and... Read up 

Is the law love, or love law

We think that others put the law above love
And we ourselves put love above the law.

But when does the love we proclaim to have become law?
Or do we not realise we subconsciously do it

Thursday, August 21, 2014

tower of Babel

GAHH.. so cyclic!
life is just repeating itself over and over again.

i look at families and i judge... will i ever have kids like theirs next time?
i look at relationships and judge... will i ever end up in one next time?
i look at church and judge... will i ever be a member like that next time?

why, so much.. fear of the future that has not even come to pass
why dont i just give up living the good boy life and let darkness take over.

why not enjoy the simple beauties and pleasures of life while they still abound.
why not?

i choose to live this life.
so many forbidden fruits around
God is...

God is real.

i've realized that there isnt anyway to escape life's phases.
people should go through it normally and naturally.
to grow.

a cell's processes are cyclic, an individual life's daily activities are cyclic,
societies purpose is cyclic, civilizations are cyclic.. history is.. cylic

and yet linear at the same time, moving onward .. unstop-able

doesnt give us the excuse to not live life.

cibvilizations use to rise and fall ... but they were seperated from one another
now that the world is becoming more globalized... we all will be one civilization, and when we fall.. we all shall fall together.

we built our new tower of babel.
a vast collection of knowledge, which we use as a scale to measure power,
and omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscience cloud of... inter-twined-networks..
we're building a brain, each processor a neuron, severs as grey matters, optic fibers as dendrites..

tower of babel. to prove God something. to show our pride.
to challenge Him. just as lucifer desired to take over His place, the Eternal Throne..

linguistics, language, art.. how we communicate with each other,
english shall unite us all once again, (only thing standing in its way is.. mandrin)

Genesis 11:7
The LORD said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing the plan to do will be impossible for them" 

man... doesnt want anything to be impossible nowadays.

Monday, August 18, 2014

see that line? i never should have crossed it.... again...

sounds like Jesus... He's .. the only guy i'd know who wouldn't fail.

and then there's the one about guys for the girls to guess what he wants

but i wonder how many of this 'society' conditioning does to sculpture our minds on what an ideal partner would be like.

basically, if the Potter isnt allowed to use His Hands to mold us, the clay. then.. we would be molded by something else, the god of this world.

i heard this song by relient k, ages ago when i was a kid, the lyrics only make sense to me now. again. haha.

repeated mistake? yeah i would think so.

but songs like this shared by friends do grant hope

basically, let God be the one holding the hammer and chisel to make us who we are.
if we've got the foundation right, that's when the house will stand the storm.

you'll never find the perfect guy or girl to marry,
yes you trust each other, but if one breaks that trust....

only Jesus can mend a broken heart.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

back from Redang

the land of vice.

truely when God said in the darkness, the temptation is stronger. i know what that means now. i felt it. boy... is the beach life a dangerous place to go.

alrite so, i've got this idea. to become a write. i like words.. well.. not spelling them lah. but stringing them into lines that makes one ponder.

i had this idea for a ficton book back when i was younger.. like a few months ago when i was in sabah xD (hmm doesnt seem too long ago). its titled "two worlds" .. and it sipnosis is basically the same-ol-same-ol poor slum romeo meets rich expat juliet. its just that in this world is dystopia and uthopia. the earth is split into half, and one side decided to develop technology and cyberpunk things, so its pictured as grim dark, and flashy blue light strips around the concrete city scapes. something like tron, matrix and elysium mashed up together. people implanted with cybernetics, google glasses and weareble tech... then the other half is chooses to develop the opposite, biopunk. or natural magic. if it even exsist. so they are like alchemist, durids and elfs. their home is pictured with greenery and tall magnifient trees hollowed out to make living quaters for its inhabitants that take care and nurture the ecosystem keeping everything in balance... and blablabla.. something like avatar.

so the world is basically ying-yang ish.. where there's always something to complement each other in the opposite world. a good here and bad there. and the energy flows from trought the center core, cycling through the earth. like.. err.. karma ish stuff...

okay this is getting weird, just mashing up everything into a book.

lets forget that. now what i'm really interested in is this title:

"Grey's alternate ending"

why grey?
see many things i've come across so far has that word. i recently finished Dorian Grey *spoiler alert* such a lausy ending. and then there's Greys Anatomy the doctory series which as alot of sleeping around elements inside it.. truthfully i never really watched the full season, just bits of some episodes here and there..... and then theres the worse.. (which i also havent read).. Fifty Shades of Grey.

so see.. i wonder what Grey has to do with .. the s-word.
i shall not choose Grey as my english name. for i refuse to be associated with such.. debauchery.

anyways, so what would be the book about? well its about feminism, liberalism and how Jesus is relevant in all this. not in the sense that Christianity allows one to continue indulging in sin, but on how Jesus is the only way our of this postmordern world.

we have picked up a bad culture since young, growing up in a society which, by all means. gives a very wrong perception of what naturally was. be it, relationships, the church, God, haven, hell, or games.

1) the church: it is an institution made by man to peddle the gosple and make money $$$
2) God: he is a man made idea. of a force that is agnostic. maybe a genie in a bottle.
3) heaven: clouds and white robes with golden halos
4) hell: three pronged trident, fiery pit where all the fun people are
5) games: i'm earning money, gaining skills, achieving badges, talents.. i an own a farm, buy a new tractor. blah.

anwyas yeah. the trip to Redang.. thought me alot.
the cross, is where my sins are taken too, freeing me.
1) the church: if you cant bring someone to the church, bring the church to them.
2) God: is sovereign, ever loving, and ... a freindship kinda person.. with reverent awe.. and.. present in the room.. no matter how dark =l
3) heaven: eternal life starts now, not after you die. it is the tearing of the vial seperating the holy of hollies. so that all man can be granted access. to .. God.. relationship between men and God. priority number 1 of life
4) hell: despair .. due to? seperation from God. do we need to wait till we die? nope. we face hell each day on earth as long as we're not in heaven. as long as we dont pray, read His Word, eat daily bread for sustanance. ..its hell bro.
5) games:  Dota 2 is just the new generations way of playing chess. white and  black. but just without the patience of waiting for your opponent.. er.. friend to make the move first.. see thats why everyone rushes now adays.... especially when cuddling together! you gotta wait your turn bro... dont be hasty.

okay okay. sososososo. so many things to write. wait for my book! (which will most probably never come out) .. an aternate title to it would be

"a letter to my generation: adults may read for better understanding of us. warning: explicit content"

haha. so many things i want to say to all my friends around me. so i think this would do. i dunno.

random disconnected stuff ahead, have fun deciphering:
i think life is very cyclic. and unless we break it, it'll never be lived as if it was linear.
i see old people, couples, and think to myself "how sad what a waste" .. and i wonder if i'll grow up into them next time. sigh.

and the three sunday school bible stories that popped into my mind at Redang?
adam and eve being given the opportunity to eat the forbidden fruit (not tempted first)
see God. gave us the ability to choose. because He wasnts us to choose him... err.. in the sense that. we have to choose to make relationships work. if He was the only option, that would be like.. forcing us to love him. no fun at all. for us. or for Him.

people think. nah if i was in their shoes, its so obvious which is the better of the choice. "of cause i will choose God lah!" .. the returns and rewards, the state of being, ... is far better than the other option. its like football... when guys watch it they say "ah if i was in the game i would have done so and so"

but nope. i.. was put into adams position. and i lalalllalalla .FAILED!

but see, the Bible doesnt just end in genesis. it continues on!

jump forward a few hundereds of years later. comes Jesus! and the story of Peter walking on water with Him. see Chirst looks crazy, He'll call you out of the baot, the safe palce, to do the immpossible. and when your doing it, you gotta focus on Him, once you let your eyes of Him, you'll see the storm.

and you'll sink into the waters! you .. just.. start drowning.

but no worries, just shout out for help, and you'll feel this magical hand grab yours and pull you out. its like... the safest feeling ever when you're in His arms. nothing on earth can ever give you that kinda security. .. but anywayis i .. FAILED

then even after experiencing that.. theres the thrid story.
denial three times and the rooster crows. so i already had two in the bucket. if i knew i failed this one.. things are just gonna go BOOM! and God's gonna turn around and stare me in the eyes. saying "i told you so" hahaha.. nola.. he's not so mean. anyways.. yeah.. he ..he.. he gave me a vision.

i was so scared i stayed a good boy on the last night.

i think thats called Fear of God. PASS

haha. nows your turn, go share this good news, not of what you've learnt from others, but what you've experience with God Himself. have fun and enjoy your life! xD

_in CHirst the is no shame or condemnation-


Thursday, August 07, 2014

To know You. I shall not fling

Don't trade in the eternal future purposed by God for something like a short lived fling here on earth. 

1 Corinthians 15:33-34 writes
"Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame"

Just as Jesus never gave into the devil when he was tempted in the wilderness. Be it hunger, security or power. So let us too take after our Lord and turn down the evil things of this earth that seek to steal our destiny away from us.

How would one know the difference of a fling and an actual legit learning experience.
Some might justify that doing 'something' is all part of the learning process.
That life was made to do this vices, to find pleasure in them and then to never repeat them again.

We wil always be bonded to our flesh desires for pleasure,
Until we finally submit to God, for He is the only one that can truly set us eternally free.

All things given by God is good, especially emotions and feelings.
Christianity does not call one to a life of border and solem dullness
In fact, it's so exciting because everyday is a struggle, a fight against the forces of darkness that seek to destroy this world and corrupt souls.
Even as the victory has already been own by Christ yet we still should work out our faith with fear and tumbling. Don't give up reading God's Word and a life of Prayer.

Don't give up the future God has in mind for you.
For it is walking in this oath that you will truly get to know Him.
And oh boy, will that journey be one of joy..... In the midst of suffering.

Don't you want to know God?
Wasn't that the reason that you live for?