3 levels of knowledge and talking about it

 1. A person doesn't know something, so doesn't/can't talk about it

2. A person knows something, and talks alot about it
3. A perosn knows something, but chooses not to talk about it

Shiro, the guy enjoying life

 SO i met up with a ex housemate, Shiro.

he asked me to come over to met him, and he was midway in the service of True Jesus church.

came up from Chirstchurch just to run the marathon this sunday.

many this guy is living it..

we talked about sooooo much stuff.

and they have such a friendly bunch of people and community in the church.

it's lovely.

James, Eunice had a baby boy too! Timothy.

just four months older than Noah. but born in Malaysia

gee, the circle of people is.. soooo small.

met a few new people. erm.. can't remember their names exactly

Thedrick

and Jakie? Kiki?

haha..

we talked about religion, what w're currently doing,

the state of the world, 

his adventures...

thinking ahead.. family planning.

God's Timing..

i love the way they pray in tongues and also how they still sing hymms

hymms are nice.

they meet 3-4 times a week

spending the whole day together as a community.

man.

thats..

life.

He's running 3-4 times a week,

rock climbing

cycling

its the NZ life,

balance of work .. and hobbies.

but the tough thing is visa

thank God for our residency

what's next?

Becoming a dad is the biggest thing

 Nothing changes life like having a baby.

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest life altering thing that has ever occurred to me.

From daily schedules to sleepless nights.

one thing i miss most is the freedom and time that we could have to ourselves before.

i could go play sports or hang out with friends.

its much harder to do that now with the responsibility of being a dad with a kid and a husband to a wife

 

 movement is life

book in advance

 so we got the flights to the soth island..

when i searched, i chosed queenstown instead of christchurch..

and boy was it so much more expensive..

almost wanted to cancle the trip

even though i alrady got my holidays approved from work.

sigh..

money money money

September 29

 So much for journaling once ever day.

Woke up this Saturday morning,

fed the baby, he did a big poop after mom went out for her facial.

came home, went for grocery shopping and badminton

gee my back.. and arms..

baby likes to make noises when we read him the bible before bed.

when we talk he talks, when we stop, he stops...

good night little one.

everyone cares about something

Everyone dies.

There's no escaping from it...

So the live the life... Now

The life that you were meant to live. 

Time is our most valuble resource,

Attention is the currency its measured with. 

How do we get more time?

Is by taking care of what we care about. 

wish

Wish we could be back home. Can attend so much stuff... Art exabitions, tapestry, friends weddings, MCCC anniversary...

😔

true colours

We always put on a mask.

Until we gind the one whom we can take it off infront of them.. 

We stay qith that person under one roof. 

And our true self comes out. 

That person loves us. 

And we love that person. 

For who they really are. 

A child of God. 

We all have room for improvement, 

But its all in the right timing. 

played games till my arms hurt and eyes couldnt focus

Thats how bad I was addicted to Ballons TD6..

I really like tower defense games... 

Last time i recall thia happening was in 1 Borneo.. 

Stared at the phone so long.. 

When i looked at a diatant object, 

The lenses in my eyes couldnt focus...

And my arms were bent for so long.. 

They hurt... But i still kept them there.. 

Addictive

Bad.. 

Prune out that which does no matter in life, 

Cut off whatever hinders us... 

In the pursuit of a life that matters. 

What matters?

Relationships do

growth 2

Grow in what matters

Simplified

growth

Grow in the things

that matters 

linkedin about me

So.. So.. Cringy..

Made this before i got the job at NCR

Dumping it here before a new edit

"Young adult with work experience in a myriad of industries. CompTIA A+ certified and currently studying Network+ to equip myself with skills for the tech industry which I am interested to enter. I have useable skills in IT, such as building PCs, soldering wires for sound systems, removing viruses using CMD and basic management of the home network. I am looking for employment in the tech industry and hope to grow my career along this path onwards."

real. risk

REAL... What ia real, what is perceived.

What is the RiSK you're willing to take.. 

After weighing the consequences and incentives.. 

Today's sacifice, tomorrows gain

training

Oh a road trip with the in laws, wife and baby.

First time.. 

Went to rotorua, dipped our feet in the hot springs, ate some stuff, saw the red woods and now back in the room at Grandeur Spa.. They had a spa in the room... 

Ao relaxing, reminded me of the times we had a bath tub in wilsha. 

Anways... Word of the day: training. 

Watched superman: man of steel. 

A word spoke out to me. On training. 

It really is an important thing that we do as humans.. 

Train... 

We get better and grow at things when we train. 

Like.. I really need to train baby Noah to do things.. Eat, sleep.. Probably poop too. 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not atray from it - proverbs 22.

I myself need to train.. Train my body through exercise.. Train my memory and focus and attention...

Train my skills.. In linux and coding.. Hah.. Always a dream

.

Train.. 

ba zhan

2 June.. Friday. Its one week since baby Noah was born.. Wife seems to be doing well. Drank some black soup for dinner...

1.55am. Wakes up to feed baby. Feels a weird blob of something ooze out of the uterus.. Its a uterus shaped.. Blot clot..  Ans theres.. A big red patch on the bed.. 

Maybe its normal, feed the baby, burp him, take off his soiled nappy, run warm water to clean, air his balls, sudo cream, change his nappy...

Read up a little, seems like blot clots coming out is.. Normal? 

Go back to sleep...

5am.. Wakes up to feed.. Wife checks the pad. More blod clots.. And constant flow of blood.. This.. Doesnt look good.

Feesing baby, cant even have time to change him, wife says.. We need to go to the hospital..

Wake up the inlaws, ask them to take care of baby.

Drives the van into the tight space of 22A. Walking with the wife, supported by the dad.. She passes out just before entering the car.. Lega go wobbly, hold her up as best as i can. Calls out to dad, shes.. Pengsan.. 

He grabs her legs and i below her arms swings her in to pessanger seat, forgot to buckel her up, dad remonds me.. , slowly back out..

Wife is in dream land..  Later on when she regsined consciousness, Says she was at the beach

I was voice navigating to Auckland Hospital, where she gave birth.. She wakes up.. So thankful to hear hwr voice "Middlemore.... Its nearer...." 

Drives there. 

 Parks outside emergency. 

Gets admitted to Resuscitation 1.

I stood at the side and gave an account of what happened. Good thing wife asked to take her phone. She had photos in it. Doctor from Singapore. Nurses.. All came to check on her. Full ED, wires getting signal for vitals.. IV drips in both arms... Oxytocin, Analgesic, etc.. They clear whatever clots they can find.. Swab.. For infection test..

I stand there. 

 Thinking.. Gosh.. That was really.. Alot of blood lost.. I dont want to loose my wife.. 

Surreal feeling.. Standing in an emergency ward. 

Really professional doctors and nurses.. See them zooming in and out.... Respect. Gratitude.. Doing all they can... 

To keep my wife alive.

Trust in God. Gee. She really picks the best dates for things to happen. A Saturday. 

She stabilisers..she doesnt shiver anymore.. Doctors tell whatever they can.. And go off.

We wait there.. She lies down while i sit beside her.. 

She wants to pee.. 

We ask the nurse.. She gets a comote.. Sits up.. Waits.. Stands up.. Takes of nappy.... Two blood clots plop out... Nurse looks at it.. And says she'll come back.. 

She sits to pee.. Lots of pee... Probably from all the IV.. 

She.. Wants to vomit.. I grab a cup.. Nah.. I need to grab her.. I try to waot for the nurse to come back. But nah.. Every second is one closer to less blood in her brain.. 

I lift her up.. And plot her on the bed.. She instantly feels better... 

We just have to clean her uo and get fresh sheets again.. Maybe hust pee on the nappy next tine.. 

We wait.. And wait.. I go repark my van.. Last time at Auckland Hospital for the birthing, i kept thinking about the 5 minute rule for the drop off.. This time i didnt bother.. 

I

When she was okay. And i was ready, i asked her.. And i went  off to park the car.. Yup.. Thankfully NCR sent me here once to fix the ATMs

Hospitals can be quite a maze, especially if its ones first time.. The allies.. The foot paths.. Rhe parking.. 

We wait.. Get a ward in Gyne room 5. Single. Nice view.. Nurse says get an ambulance next time if bleeding.. 

We go to Maternity, cause she is still within 6 weeks of birth.. 

Midwife sees her.. Needs am Ultrasound scan.. Scheduled for 11, they get it done at 10.30. I drive home with the pumped milk.. And have breakfast.. 

Home.. Ah.. Cute baby.. Sleeping... 

Grab some stuff.. And drive back.. 

Just spend the afternoon and early evening chilling with her on the bed. 

Thamk you Lord, for this second chance of life. Let us cherish every moment.. And do the things in life that matter.. And forgoe all the things that dont. 

Let us use the time you've given to us wisely.. 

Every second is a precious gift. 

Thank you Jesus. 

care share

When you share, you care

25th May 2023 Contractions

 So last night, wife started to have contractions. Sh was "induced" to labour by the mid wife earlier in the afternoon of the 24th. reason being the baby was showing slowing signs of growth based on the public statistical charts..

i called in sick today to my work palce. even tough there was a major appoinment for a network upgrade that i should ave gone with Umer for..

owh well.. no work is too big for one to spend time with family for

i'm also tying this on my raspberryPi. as the laptop is curently being used by Pa to watch videos.

Quite a coold thing this little box, hard to imagine that it is a full funcioning computer that fits in the palm of one's hand. I'm contemplating gettting etheir a tablet with a stylus for note taking or a MacAir with it's M1 chips

but seems like his tech works for now

democracy needs Christ at the center

 “Democracy is not merely an institution nor simply a concept, but a profound structure of faith. The root of democracy is the spirit of Christ. Without Christianity, you cannot have democracy or human rights.” - Yuan

So... if freedom is given to people.... but they don't havec the good core or foundation to use that freedom in a good way. it becomes counter productive.

stages of smartphone recovery

"why would someone want to sacrifice convince willingly" - Anthony Horn 4:40

"convince comes at a cost. Its up to you to decide what cost are you willing to pay" 11.06

Key is moderation

goving up the smartphone

Stage 1

Designing the environment

Increasing the physical resistance towards smartphone usage. 

I placed my phone outside the room on the computer table to charge everynight. It was great, when i came into the bedroom it was either to read books, talk or sleep. No phone distraction what so ever. Didn't even have the itch for it.

Started to build a daily habit of reading. 1 chapter of a book and a few pages of another book. 

Just needed a nice bed side lamp to illuminate the pages.

Stage 2

Have the phone by the bedside. But use it with intentions. Temptation will be there. But no point running away from the inevitable. We will have to live with technological advances one way or another. Its about being a good master of it so that we dont become its slave (just like money). 

Anz fraud detection system works

 my anz card got compromised

someone was using my card to make purchases on Facebook..

anz frad detection system caught it.. and cancled my card...

nice.. but now i have to change all my subscriptions to the new card.

owh well

fail

Learn to fail, or fail to learn. 

Failing is a privilege. 

chatGPT poem 1

 i asked chat GPT to write a poem about life

Life is a journey we all must take, A winding road with twists and turns, Full of joy and love, heartache and ache, A lesson in each moment we learn.

From birth to death, we live and grow, Our paths diverge in many ways, But we all share a common goal, To find meaning in our days.

Life is fleeting, it moves so fast, A blur of memories we hold, We try to make each moment last, Before they slip away, untold.

Sometimes the road is rough and steep, And we stumble, fall and cry, But with courage and faith, we keep, Moving forward, never asking why.

Life is a gift, a precious thing, To cherish and hold dear, With every breath, we can sing, And feel the beauty near.

So let us embrace this journey of life, With open hearts and minds, And through the pain and strife, We'll find the treasure that we'll find.

one note stuff up

 so i was trying to organise the sections and pages in one note.

but some how or another i manage to make four sections (GIS, exam scehdule, etc) from the section group (UMS), disappear entirely. ... tried recovering them, but cant seem to find them in the deleted pages.

owh well.... atleast they were not really critical notes.

also my lease plan address has been updated, a little show. but it has been done. three enquiries sent in, i tried calling but no one picks up..

ah let it go let it go

patience... just.. patience

incoherent images

Reach Silver fern motel at 4-5pm

Had dinner till 6..

Went back. Chilled..

Went out to get friits at 9pm..

Came back.. 

Used phone YT videos till... 3am.

Lol. That's like.. 8-9 hours of life wasted. 

"every action we do, is a vote towards whom we want to become" 

Sigh. 

desire

The secret to desire,

Is that what is sought after cannot be granted, 

Atleast not straight away, 

The tension must be built up.. 

plan execute

Prepare for the next day

Execute the plan.

Pack luggage for the trip the day before

Rehearse what to say before the event

Visualise mentally the route. 

too busy. tooo busy

 too late to sign up for Open AI's Dall.E for free.. sigh.. missed it by a month. owh well..

life was just.. too busy

goodbye hashbrown PC

 thank you for your service

a computer made out of scrap parts.. not too bad

i5, 32GB DDR3 ram, had a R9 390.. good enough for mining on nicehash...

got a fair bit out of it.. now a friend needs it.. well.. actually just the power supply..

but i guess the whole thing will do him good...

wish i  could keep some ram..

still have another Mobo with me. not sure if i'll ever build a PC.

tech nowadays is soo far advanced... nvme on the mobo itself,

DDR5.. sigh.. hard to keep up with tech.. if on wants to keep buying.

lapthor's screen is flickering and has a really noisy fan, still can use it with an external monitor.

currenlt using wife's microsoft surface pro4, which she got for cheap for her studies..

i actually kinda like this surface, so protable. just sad that it's missing the pen..

and.. battery is bulging too .. btw.. the smart watch battery popped the surface off.. hah.

these lithium polimers...

thinking of a mac M1, but thats like .. 1600. sigh. money money money.

i can do whatever the same thing is with this PC.. as long as i have access to the internet.

22 April 2023 9.00am

 its only 9 am.

woke up, lazed around the bed on a saturday morning.

read so much...

started with the Bible on Jesus beatitudes, He really liked going off y Himself into the wilderness to spend time with the Father. Blessed are those who are poor... i guess its a calling that we should..

save up fr now, and enjoy the fruits of our labour later?

then read a page from 50 spiritual classics. on Black Elk.

then Earth is Hiring by Peta, about breathing, ayahusca, vibes, circulating energy, play and such,,

then DK downloaded books... on REligion, Money (personal Finance)..

much of Finanacial literacy I've thankfully read about in the past few years since coming to NZ. i think it sort of started when i started earning my first real pay check...

golden rules: spend less than what is earned.

pay yourself first, into the savings account

pay of debs (thankfully i have none because i dont even have a credit card o begin with)

going to get an AMex from work soon tough.

but one thing that as sharply risen is the ouse rental.

we were at 160 per week, jumping up to 540 now. but we've got our own place. two rooms, a nice kitchen and bathroom for our self. no need t share with other housemates.

ah the joys of having one's own place. however.. it comes at a cost...

earnings about enough to cover... 4k per month. about 2200 is for rent. almost half . gosh.

how will it be possible to save 33% for personal savings now..

i wonder why money was such a taboo topic.

like.. we're so.. scared to tell others how much we earn or spend.. like its such a personal mater..

is it for the fear that what others will percieve us?

sigh...

owh well...

i'm also looking into using one note as PKM (personal Knowledge management) tool...

gotta start loging down my thoughts digitally, not just on the blog. or notepad.

well thats done for the morning. its rianing now, cant go for a job.. maybe just do some yoga and weights at home. haven't eaten breakfast either yet. but feeling quite alive..

feeling alive. ah yes that is what life is for..right God?

in a few weeks time, about 5m ore weeks... we're gonna bing another life into this world.

wonder how mch life will change with a new born baby.

9.16am.

21 april 2023

 what a day, friday. so nice to sleep..'

so tired. just waking up... driving about

bought a 300+ mm wrench from No1. tools at Onehunga

yeah, no more regrets not getting the Ron Enright's Bancho reversible wrench..

never knew if i could have tightened the nut and bolt on the 6684...

leave it for another day..

now the SR on hand is CD's Mt roskill task for the cameras.

so...

we really are all going to be surveyed.

we cant hide from the cameras anymore

20th A[irl 2023 10.44pm

 woke up early today.

spleat early last night

woke up in the middle of the night.

slept at 9pm. woke up at 1.30am. took the rubbish bins out. did some reading.

did some bible study. did more reading.. went back to bed at about 3am.

woke up with alarm at 6am. slept back till 6.45am.

got ready with a a container of cereal and milk

drove over to CBD. a 38 minute drive became close to one hour.

traffic gets really jam then

had the Hyosung training with Adam, met Angela and Chip. nice ppl

good training session.

words of wisdom from Adam:

"If you enjoy what you do at work, you'll go home a happy person, and that affects the people around you back in the house" .. or well.. something along those lines.

got stuck in the traffic coming back.. reach about 6.30 plus.

wife was waiting but she had to go off for dinner with Carolyn and Sue.

she waited fo me to cook and say goodbye. but i just couldn't make it back in time.

well she had a good time out.

i had some quite time.

cleaned up the old desktop PC for Wythe. he just needs a power supply, but i could just throw the whole thing to him.

its good that the microsoft surface connects to the large screen.. and that all our accounts are synced on it so well.

yah..

thats... about today

really want to look ino:

1. usin OneNote as a Personal Knowledge Management (PKM) tool

2. explloring more of GitHub

3. learning more about Web3.

thats all for now.

signing off. 10.49pm

isolation

 humans dont do well when they are placed in a room alone for an extended period of time.

we are social creatures.

we need community

imagine if the last human was all alone in this world

how long would he last

pslams 119:32

One of the wonderful things in life is growing right. We like to learn new stuff (thats why social media is so addictive). I guess one's innate goal would be to gain more understanding about the world. Each and every day, like a new born baby, exploring and discovering novelty. That's the beauty of wonder and curiosity. It inspires us to go read up about someting we're interested in. To search and search until we find out what information we were looking for, which was a gap in our knowledge base. Of memories in our mind. But how can one grow in a good way? (obviously there are bad ways to grow, GIGO), how can one ensure that information put in is good. That time spent pondering on something is of productive value. We'll here's the key. This bibical verse in all its godly truth. Seek after what the Lord says. His commands is what can expand our mind and understanding in a wholesome way. Way better than any other thing in this world can offer... Not just way better. The only way better. Wahtever the world has to offer.. Its counter to Christ. Its garbage.

Social Media is killing me

 this thought came into my mind when i was in the shower.

"Social media is killing me"

scrolling.. for an addiction... for a dopamine hit...

for something novel to pop up..

its robbing me of living my life..

my daily life. with friends, and family..

help me..

help me GOd

smart phone addiction

Social media is killing me

how sweet it is to hold...

 our passports once again.

what an ordeal, a total roller coaster. we came back from Malaysia on Feb,

and sent the passports through NZ Post to INZ.

it got mis sorted into international mail, thank God there was a tracking number on it.

so many calls to their customer service, they always said the investigation team are looking into it.

they had a nice person looking into our case.

So just before Crystal came to join me in Qtn, she picked it up from Botany collection point, dropped it off at Dx mail. but it had the new sticker on it, so it was redirected back to Botany. Got a friend Avi to pick it up, repackage it into a DX mail parcel and send it to INZ.

we were in Queenstown. gosh.. the anxiety.. i couldn't sleep for a few of the nights.

is this what losing sleep over worry feels like... it's horrible ...

but God there is a reason You let us go through this. through Elim's 21 day fast and prayer. You reminded me that You will not let us face anything beyond what we can bear.

INZ sighted out passports and gave us ou Residency, now just to get them back.

NZ Courier. The housemate at 19 Hangahai didn't want to show her ID to sign and receive in the parcel. hence it was taken back.. and wasn't tracked properly..

i had to go to the Depot in Highbrook myself.. and there it was sitting on the table..

our passports.

owh.. the joy when i held it back in my hand..

after almost two months of it being away from us...

gosh..

thank You Lord.

hopeful Risk

If there was ever a mottonto have the word Risk inside...

Calculated risk.. 

Risk analysis... 

I remember Jia tern having the saying "no risk, no life". Only when i dabbled in investing financially did i keep hearing this: "investing involves risk, bla bla bla".. Learnt alof of financial literacy from Sharsies podcast.

Risk... I never really used the word when i was young. Never did seem.. Christianese

Risk.... Focus

Everything in life.. Is.. A risk. 

Every choice.. 

There has never been any certainty. 

If there ever was, it would just have been a figment of our imagination. 

Only onw thing is constant, Christ. 

"the only constant is change" 

Risk, swat analysis.. 

Risk... A board game. 

Risk.. 

I risk my life for You. 

growth can only come when one is truely rested

Or restless...

Paratos esse, be ready. 

I think its time to change to "be present" 

To clear a foggy mind. 

Sleep. Excercise helps. Dont over sleep. 

This weekend was good. 

Abit the turmoil of not being able to sleep due to anxiety about the passports.. 

Rested much over the Friday and Saturday nights. Having not to wake up on the weekend mornings is such an amazing blessing. Please please never take it for granted. The time for a nap, owh how beautiful it is the rest... 

For when we rest. 

Than can we truely have the energy... 

To think, to learn, to grow. 

Rest is the start of things, 

Not the end. 

the wonder of curiosity

Wonderful how wonderful,

Amazment, 

The limits of my understanding and imahination, 

Never have i known this, 

Never could i perceive. 

How wonderful, 

How glorious, 

Beyond my mind's capabilities,

Current, past or future. 

Grow me, Lord, 

There is no other way. 

Like a baby learning to talk, 

Like a child learning to walk, 

How did i loose that wonder of the world.

How did my sense get so dull, 

I used to look at the world with amazement in everything, 

A chance to learn something new everyday, 

When Lord did i loose that and become old

When did i grow so old, 

I've forgotten how to grow. 

Just like a child, 

Juat like a baby. 

Teach me Lord

Once again

The wonder of curiosity. 

solitude is healthy, fertile solitude

“The best things in life happen to you when you’re alone,” artist Agnes Martin reflected in her final years. “Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!” wrote the founding father of neuroscience in his advice to young scientists. The poet Elizabeth Bishop believed that everyone should experience at least one prolonged period of solitude in life. For in true solitude, as Wendell Berry so memorably observed, “one’s inner voices become audible [and] in consequence, one responds more clearly to other lives” — an intuitive understanding of what psychologists have since found: that “fertile solitude” is the basic unit of a full and contented life.

Excerpt from The Art of Being Alone: May Sarton’s Stunning 1938 Ode to Solitude

by Maria Popova, themarginalian.org

December 1, 2017 07:35 AM through Pocket.

I always thought that really hapiness is to be found when we are together with other people that significantly matter to us in our lives.

Maybe that was shaped by Alexander Supertramp's words: "Happiness only real when shared". Ans being an extrovert, yes. I feel happy hormones kick in when i am with others. The joy the laughter, the connection in interactions and friendships and relationships... 

But really.. At the end of the day. 

When i sit alone, by myself.. Talking to the moooooon~

Hmm okay sorry got a little carried away.. 

At the end of the day. 

Solitude 

Was something Jesus practiced as well.

Early in the mornings, late in the evenings. 

He always went to spend time with Himself, with God. 

Solitude is healthy.

Find that fertile solitude

mountain biking

Wife said.. Go cycling.

So i did. 

Got a bike on bookme. Hard tail. 40 bucks. 

Got the 6 up lifts for Skyline gondola at Queenstown. 

Tried out starva. Nice.

1st run: green lvl 2.

2nd run: mix in aome blues lvl 4

3.. Legs and arms feeling jelly

4. Legs cramping.. I just want to make it down alive without crashing. 

Just burn the last two rides up. Its getting late. Time to go home without any scratches... Just sore knees and hands. 

Rotorua redwoods was more fun in my memory. Queesntown MTB is just.. Too steep.. Maybe i would have enjoyed it more with a full suspension bike

Owh well. 

all that is enough

"Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entrie will - all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only yoir love and your grace. That os enough for me. " - Norman Shawchuck

anxiety peace truth

 then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free

double think 1984

truth isn't relative

do not be anxious,

Crystal and I submitted our passports to immigration, through NZ Post courier.. but..

it has not reached them yet, and the tracking number shows that it has only been picked up but not sent to the receiver yet..

anxious.

where are our documents?

God.... i can sleep.

what could have been done better?

nothing much, trust you Lord, you know where are passports are 

Biceps Femoris tendon out of placement.... and popped back in after few weeks

 i thoguth I was having an iliotibial band pain on my right knee. the outer lower part, there's this big tendon/ligament. it was out of alignment. maybe cycling/badminton/wrong posture for too long. thought it ws IBTS... but i think it's actually the biceps femoris tendon....

was having it just after the first week of the holiday (maybe the 29th Jan?)..  now i think it is gone. after almost three weeks  with it...

hopefully

i kept feeling it, especially when bending the knee. sometimes when walking..

tonight. on the 16th.. i was lying down in bed... bent the legs in to criss cross them... and opened up to the side. heard/felt a pop/click..... yasssss.. i think the ligament/tendon popped back into its rightful place...

was so scared to move.. just moved.... really slowly.

thank you Lord... there's very few delights in life.. such as this.

having a small gnawing discomfort for weeks.. just suddenly go away when things are put right 

the male brain

So aparently, there's a bonding hormone that kicks in when a guy finds a mate. And this causes his brain to change and become less agressive. Even more so when one becomes a father...

Something hapens in the neurological structures inside that skull... 

Some say its just science, its not short of a miracle that all this even happens if you ask me. 

Relationships matter.

habits

 "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

"Success is nothing more than a few disciplines, practiced every day. Failure is a nothing more than a few errors, repeated every day." - Jim Rohn

"more than 40 percent of the actions people perform every day aren’t due to decision making, but habits." - Duke University research

"Stop obsessing over the result and start obsessing over showing up"

a storm is coming, i forgot my jacket

On the ferry ride to waiheke island now.

There was supposed to be this ex cyclone Hale that brings about so much rain it has not been seen in 20 years.

Guess I'll see how its like on the ocean. 

It was so hot walking about CBD to the office and back. I didnt bother to bring my jacket... Although I'd probably arrive back late tonight. Its gonna be cold. Hope this double shirt will hold out.

I'm not packed ready for things nowadays. 

Should put a disposable rain jacket in my bag. Its small and light enough. 

Need to plan my days and packing more. 

Minimal. Essentials 

the flaw

As deacribed in Pantheon.

I think the problem with memory is not that we lose it over time. 

But that our minds getoverloaded with too much information. 

Woth the constant stream of new knowledge to learn, the brain can keep up and the nuerons just keep making random messes. 

Thisnis an age of too much information. 

Need to cut down on it. 

pocket 2022 dump v1

 persistence > perfection

failing > not trying

discipline > motivation

active reading > passive consumption 

single task > multi task

one deep read > many shallow reads

handwriting > typing

speak > silence

4. Authenticity: work/life balance

"I know from habit research that the lure of technology, that really quick dopamine hit you get when you have a new notification, is one of the hardest to overcome. It depletes willpower the fastest.”  -Urban “Dopamine is really about the anticipation of an event. It’s about seeking, not enjoying. So when that notification pops up – whether it’s the best news in the world, or the most annoying – all your brain knows is there’s something new you can divert your attention to. And when you’re feeling stressed or disconnected, you’re especially susceptible to this.”

“The curious paradox,” wrote the psychologist Carl Rogers, “is that when I accept myself just as I am – then I can change.”

And is there one simple limit you can set during this part of your day? For example, I have a boundary in the morning that I don’t check my phone before my routine is done. So I have a cold shower, work out, do a little meditation, and make myself breakfast. Then I start my day. I think those are the kinds of self-boundaries that can be helpful with working from home.”

So, it would be nice to have a morning habit.

I wake up, I dont touch my phone. Go make breakfast, work out, do devotion, meditate.. work starts at 8am. check the phone then. Work ends at 5pm, stop checking after that. if they wanted something done the next day, they should have planned it ahead.

A war is coming

brain doesn't do well with too much new information (the flaw as per Pantheon series).

improve brain: Dance, Instrument, foreign language, chess, read more of less, hand write

learning: say out loud,  test yourself, space out learning, handwrite, change the way, exercise, interleaving (learn different things in succession) , teach others, associative learning (build upon what you already know),

sleep in blocks of  1 and a half hours. either 1.5, 3, 6 hours... dont sleep 7 you'll wake up in the middle of a cycle. 7.5 is good.

focus on changing your mindset. Try counting your blessings before you fall asleep. It sounds cheesy, but research shows that the simple act of writing down three to five things you’re grateful for each day can significantly boost your wellbeing in as little as two weeks. Another positive mindset shift involves becoming more present. Research by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert and colleagues shows that no matter what we’re doing, we’re usually happier when we’re paying attention. So why not commit to boosting your presence with a few minutes of meditation every morning? Finally, consider switching from a selfish me-me-me mindset to one that’s a bit more focused on others. Study after study shows that people are happier when they’re helping people in need.

people who are self-compassionate eat better, exercise more and are happier with their bodies. They also procrastinate less and bounce back more resiliently after failures.

ON MAKING CHOICES

1. Zero in on what really matters

2. Don't dwell on the small choices

3. Decide as much as you can in advance

4. Get a second (and third, 4th) opinion for the big stuff

5. Be mindful of your emotions, timing of making choies

6. Be thoughtful about how you use pros and cons lists

7. Think of decisions as opportunities

.8 choose your regrets, we can't do everything

punch a tuition mate

 reading up on effects of bullying during childhood on an adult.

when i was young, i used to go to andrea's house for BM and science tuition.

with thinakaran and a girl named joey. we had this stupid game, that was to punch each other in the arm and see who gave up first. i said i was going to punch really hard, as if asking for consent, knowing that it was gonna hurt really badly.... we were all skinny back then... i didn't hold back..... i punched with all my strength, (probably because i didn't want the other kid to think that i was weak)... the other kid cried.. i didn't know what to do, so i just ignored the other person in pain, didn't even say sorry, and sorta ran away to the upper living room where the table was...

i think from there on..... 

i throw my punches.

i'd rather hit softly and let the other person have fun hitting me as hard as they can.

i can take it

making chores something to be looked forward to

 “By combining a temptation with a chore,” Milkman says, “that chore becomes something that’s actually associated with pleasure and you start looking forward to it instead of dreading it.”

2022 in review

 January - started with NCR as a contractor

micro goals: stop: picking n, playing games (ish), negative things

start: exercising, look ppl in the eyes when talking to them

Feb - x f, < FB scrolling, s look ppl in eyes, > more say welcome, ask how are you? prep day before

march - look ppl in eyes when talking, respond 'welcome' to tak you, naps, listen.
x talk bad abt ex work place, alpha

April - focus, goals, highlights, thankful.

- study once a day, exercise & stretching, outdoors, meditate, x be malicious (fail)

may nothing in the calender

June - late for work.  study once a day, exercise, read more

July - open Git hub Acc (only done in dec), Ruby, Python, Linux

August, September, October, NOvember, December

same four goals. unachieved

consistency

 "Don’t think about being consistently great. It’s a trap. It’s impossible. Think about being great at being consistent. It’s a reliable path to growth and achieving one’s potential that makes a lot more sense." - Brad Stulberg

there is no reason for excuse

 life is a choice.

stop passing the buck,

there is no one else to blame.

take up the responsibility,

and do what needs to be done.

Discipline eat motivation for breakfast

truth is absolute

 So the NEXLeaders course on SUMO has this quote:

"Each person sees the world in a different way.

There is not a single, unifying, objective truth.

We're all limited by our perspective" - Siri Hustvedt

but i still stand that truth is absolute and not relative.

a ball is a ball, no matter if you see whatever colour it is.. or whatever side

there is not two balls ... according to the SUMO guy Paul

but i get what he's trying to see... people has different prespective on things.

and its good to be empathetic 

wallow hippo wallow

 i was sitting down,

when felt down.

nothing i can do,

but do what hippos do.

wallowing

wallowing

half a day went by,

my mind couldn't come by,

nothing else could be done,

couldn't blame someone

wallow wallow

move on, move on,

life goes on.

i lost my seed phrase

 judging the judgmental

today. i woke up... and saw a coinbase notification.

clicked on it... hmm.. about eth... tried to sign into Coinbase wallet.. haven't done so for quite some time. ah... it's a new lay out, they must have updated the app.... use fingerprint to authenticate... failed..

hmm.. i remember i almost got locked out once from coinbase wallet before... it's okay i'll just sign out and restore it from the google drive backup..

sign out... confirm sign out....

try to sign back in..... restore from google drive.....

no back ups found

what the....

hmmmm i'm pretty sure i wrote my 12 seed phrase somewhere..

look through 5-6 books.... my gosh..... it was arbout the timing of april 2021..

checked through screenshots, etc...

god....

its .. not here...

owh well..

lesson learnt

there was about 5 transections to that wallet..... nzd56 of AMP and about nzd85 of eth....

gosh... well..... whatever.......... life goes on

Lucy Kusanagi

 Lucy in Cyberpunk is like Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in a Shell.

the similarities that reminds me of the character

guess the both are imba peeps that can connect to the net

Kindness > fairness

 you can be kind to the one you love.

Matthew 20:1-16

Kindness > Fairness

be kind, just like Halsey sang so

26/10/2022

7.30 wake up, breakfast

8-5pm work

5-6 gym, cook dinner

7-8 eat, watch Disney

9-10 YT, FB

10.23 now

rinse, repeat

excess golgi apparatus - mucus

 so here's another dumb theory.... as dumb as why people get pimples if they don't release their pent up juices. 

the organelle (almost forgot what it was called in biology) Golgi apparatus is responsible for creating mucus. if we use up all the resources by shooting too frequently, the body has a deficit of mineals and nutrients and mitochondria energy to supply to other parts of the body.

signs include not having mucus in the nasal and throat areas (although i think this is also caused by damaged mucus linings from trying to hold kerosene in the mouth for fire breathing), 

so after being able to have a break for a few weeks... almost a month.. the longest it's ever been actually! there is a build up of resources once again... 

and i've got the flue, nose keeps running. but its been running so much better than it was previously.

odd eh...

weird stupid theories of the body and mucus

bee oil

There is a bee colony on the water.

That had the queen in stasis for a long time cause the owner nicholas left it for an adventure. When he came back he brought her back to life by melting honey with a blowtorch and calling her name Emelda.

I pushed a trolley and it hit a stack of extrs virgin olive oil in green bottles. Three fell down and broke.

health: habits and routines.

"Healthy habits are key to leading a healthy life, but it's nothing without self-discipline and routine. Start on your health journey." - Huawei health app

opinion nazi

3. You are entitled to your opinions, but the line is drawn when you try to impose it on others.

4. Dont be a Nazi, if you were born in Germany that time and everyone was doing it... So you think that its okay to do..

Thats like saying its okay to kill a certain people group... Just because they were born in a differrnt ethnic or belief. 

rush slowly..

1. What if the earth doesnt have a finate amount of resources? As we now think it does...

I mean.. What if the sun light brings in more mass (does light carry more than just energy wave lengths? Is a photon something that can contribute to atoms? And smaller atoms just keep combining to form bigger ones? Eventually all the elements on the periodic table are fabricated

2. What if wind and wave energy is actually detrimental?

Whobsaysbthat capturing the currents and velocity of the skies bring about no ill effect to the earth as a whole? Maybe becasue we slow down the movement of undercurrents, the global metrological patterns go out of whack and droughts and monsoons and typhoons happen in a seemongly erractic way.. But they are all part of the same earth's equation.

Theres no such thing as gaining someyhing without a sacrifice. Every action has a equal and oppoaite reaction. Every benefit has a price to be paid.

3.... 

dont worry, doesnt matter

You gotta play,

While you enjoy your stay. 

Sydney

why people warch movies

"People watch videos (mindlessly),

Because they dont like to think.... " - jamie

missed the ferry to waiheke. blunders, blunders everywhere

Just missed the 12.00 ferry by a few minutes.

What happened?

Morning 8am CE meeting

9am drop emergency off girl stuff

9.30 OT helpdesk call for bitlocker issue. Rebooted and its fine....

10-11.30 at south shed. More jobs came into ES for waiheke. 

Got to the ferry at 11.57

Sigh.

Next ferry at 2pm. Takes about 45 mins for the trip over. I'd arrive at 3pm. Thought I'd just bundle all the jobs together tmr since I'm taking the car over. But nope. They want P1 jobs addressed today.

Blunder in booking jobs for mainland. Had to cancle them. Such a mess. 

Sitting in an ultra packed ferry now. Hoping it'll sink

Gotta get back for wife's birthday today too. 

time 1

On going out to eat dinner in sydney CBD,  as compared to having only 1 hour lunch breaks

"We're  not rushing for time,

We can go how far we want, 

And come back how late we want."

1 dollar pho noodles at westfield

"In their heart, People actually dont want cheap things."

shisha st Sydney

Its friday night,

Me and the boys went down to CBD for dinner.  We all got our own food,  i went to an indonesian restaurant that had like..  Wan tan mee..

Then took an uber to some road like dominion.  Had punjab food,  ice cream Moo&Moon and then Shisha Expresso..

The kick after three puffs was nice.  But at the 4 or 5th set..  The body started rejecting it like beer.  Went to puke..  That was it.

The after feeling is hhhoooorrrible. 

Took the train back.. 

Sitting in the room just trying to recover.

I hate shisha. Wont do it again.

100 gong

 1. music, keyboard on Yousican (30 mins a day)

2.  language, Chinese on Chinese Skill app (~15 mins/d)

3. exercise: kneesovertoes Nordic bench, Feldenkrais Awareness through Movement

4. learning: percipio COMPTIA Network+

5..

keystone habits to build:

S-Tier: Reading, exercise, meditation, bullet journaling

 feldenkrais...

reiki..

contact care....

\

well... what i know about the body, is not as much as what is possible i guess.

all i know is that... we gotta feel our body more.. like.. listen to it.. move it. and try to be in tune with that it's trying to say to us.... i dont know why but when i think of "finding our own north star", i think of paying attention to what the body is telling us about

hand me that cup

What does it mean for our old bodies to be swallowed up by life?

Scientifically, When our body dies, we bury/burn it and it returns back to its constituent molecules of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and all other trace elements. Just like any other vegetable or animal when they die and get decomposed.

But what is it that is different for a Christian's body for our point of view when we die? Jesus didn't die on the cross and have His body buried in the tomb and left to rot... While His spirit floated away and got another new heavenly shining angelic body...

No, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus was raised back to life in the same body that was in thag tomb, wounds in the hand and feet and side and all. But this resurrected body was different from the old. This new body could seemingly teleport and phase through walls (John 20:26-27).

Jesus had achived a higher state of being. A 'new' body. And he offers us this 'new' life too. Do we need to die (physically) before we inherit an eternal body? Or hasn't always the gospel preached the eternal life is this: to know You, the one true God-and Jesus Christ the one He sent to earth (john 17:3).

That was Jesus prayer. That we would come into communion with the God if the universe. To be unseperated from Him. This physical body has the mind, body and spirit; id, ego, superego; insitncts, reality, morality; logical rational, primal intuition,...

Jesus was sent from another place beyond this earth. Sent by another from beyond our realm. We call that place heaven. Jesus was sent here to guide us. To save us. To show us the way, the truth and the light. Onto salvation. Onto the path of being one with esch other just as Jesus was one with God (john17:21-26).

Now hand me that sacrament. The Holy Communion. That bread and wine. In remembrance of Christ. But be weary, we were not instructed to indulge in taking it alone and in an unworthy manner (1 Cor 11:21)

minute 42: textbook

Alright got back my train of thought. Trigfered by the word at that minute.

Textbooks

So... 

Here's the post about it. 

A child doesnt like to be forced to read something that is of no onterest to them. I.e i did badly in Sejarah (history) in highschool. Why? Because i didn't like the subject, or well... The spark was never ignited in me for it (by my educator?)

As an adult.. I love history, (not doing it any justice though)... Not spending my time reading up on it either.

But yeah... 

As long as a child can read words. And can understand, comprehend and formulate the ideas that others have placed into writing... Thats the key skill..

The next is to guide them, but not force them... To read with interest.

See i think the brain only makes good neurons grow and remembers, recalls 'facts' better when our consciousness is attentively interested in a particular topic.

Theres where focus and flow state can be found. (as adults we seek for that state that so naturally comes to kids, mpre on this next time maybe...  Tldr: adults are to preoccupied with other matters, kids dont have a care in the world, especially on household responsibilities)

^ p.s I've put 'facts' in quotation because really.. As a kid everything i read was from 'legitimate' sources, so my brain consumes literally anything without bothering to spend extra energy and effort to filter if it is true or not. It is easily guaged: what doesnt sit well with what i already know in my currently accumulated knowledge database is rubbish and wrong.

What can be grafted onto ths tree of my knowledge is... Good. And expands more or what i know. Maybe certain information at too early a time wont fit anywhere, but will do so later on when there are more branches. However, nowadays with fb and yt short videos... The tonnes of info are just being dumped around without having any anchor to latch onto... Its a mess in my head. 

Ans hence, its not so much the case now whwre right is so easily distinguishable from wrong. I used to be suuuuper absolute in truth, and would be apologetic towards relativism. As im 29 years old now.. Uhh....  I'm more kinder and gentler. 

Not accepting or tolerant, but loving and empathetic. I wanna be like Dr Tan GJ. Wise. 

So anyways.. Yeah. That's that. On textbooks. And my weird random thought that spouted from listening to minute 42.

How we should change education for noy juat children. But people even as they become adults.

(but who would learn accounting then? If no one was ever willing to force themselves to read all those textbooks and sit for CAP exams??... Haha maybe there'll be a portion in our 8 billion population that fill find their place of belonging there)

As confusious said. 'A kingdom prospers when everyone is in place where they belong.' or something like that

evangelical Christian 'testimony'

Lisenting to ben and kami's podcast "everyone belongs" epdisode 1. So relatable. Haha. But aslo thats their point of view.

I think the beanbag and tickling each other part is actually a sign of self control (lol the 9th fruit of the spirit (i almost said 10th fruit)). Something like the marshmellow test for kids, those that didn't eat it showed greater mental resolve.

I think i have a weakened mental capacity, i failed morally.. Many times..

Growing up, life was goood. Grown up, life is kinda... Erm... Sub-prime.

Not the best. But still good.

Having a secial someone and having to adhered to their expectations can be... Uhh.. Draining.

But thats love aint it. 

As a kid , my parents were littt.. They let me cycle out into the mid night and come home at whatever time i wanted to with the house key.

But yeah anyways what I'm getting at is.. 

You'd know when you know. 

Main point: i forgot what i wanted to write. It was gonna be huge... Will get back to it

the right kind of right

Would you rather be right,

Or be kind? 

when you think it matters

"doesn't matter" - jima

purging preconceptions

The secret country of yourself by Jenya T. BEACHY.

Pg14. Write on these places:

Santuary

A holy place. Scantum. Brings to mind the Christian song. "Take me past the outer courts, into the Holy place, past the brazen alter, Lord I want to see Your face... ". Growing up in church we use this word quite a bit. I guess it's used to refer to where God dwells. Where He can be found.

Shadow House

Sounds dark. Like a place where ghost hide. Like a haunted place. The house in Stranger Things season 4. Its gloomy. Theres spider cobwebbs.. Nobody had gone there for a long time. Shadow brings to mind the Swtichfoot lyric "the shadow proves the Sun shines". Shadows are there, no doubt. But we dont pay much attention to them. Because its stuff that we think are negstive, taboo or not nice to show to the public. However, it is there. In us. I've heard of Shadow Work. Of the Dark Night of the Soul. Computer games make use of the "shadow" term in units, skills or characters..

Temple

The church. Where Christians in other traditions call a place of gathering. A religious place for whatever religion people belive in. It has many different names. But often associated sith Buddhist. A place with statues and idols. Smoke from joss sticks. When i was young i would say "I'll never never go into a chinese temple, thats where Satan is". But when i grew up, i realise that it is not what is on the outside, but on the inside of us that either keeps us 'holy' or defiles us. Visiting other people's places of worship 

One of the things dad wanted to do after retirement is water painting. But he never get started.

Thats living the authentic life right there! We always have so many choices in life and things that interest us... But sometimes we have to put aside stuff so we can do other things of more value..

Like playing with the grand kids.. 

Imagine if dad decided to spend all this time just sitting and painting. He might end up like uncle kwen peng! Haha not that theres anything wrong with how a person chooses to live the life with the freedom of choice we've all been blessed with by God.

To every man, their own art. 

crab by the lake side

 there was a hugggge crab at the side of the lake.

and the lake had hugee frogs too

we went for a walk in it.

and came out to wash our feet at a phone booth that had a shower

such a heavy burden upon the shoulders

i dreamt..

i was walking.. with such a heavy backpack...

so heavy that my legs started to give way..

and i could no longer even stand at all

transcendence and facticity

 have a close relation with each other.

they give each other meaning and purpose..

just like yin and yang,

opposites giving definitions to the other.

for if there was no evil, how would we know what good is?

A photo frame that shows inspirational quotes daily

 I would like to invent that.

Make a small digital board that I could place on my desk.

That shows inspirational quotes for the day.

It could run on a respberry Pi or something,

with a small screen attached.

Freedom

 Freedom is not freedom from responsibility, it is freedom to make choices,

and therefore having to take responsibility.

a paradox of work

'doing more gives you more energy to doing more'

authenticity is the way to learn better

 "What we need to know gets lost in what we are told we should know"

Real learning is the process of remembering what is important to you,

and becoming a leader is therefore the act of becoming more and more your true self.

- Tom Butler-Bowden on Warren Bennis' On Becoming a Leader 1989

man.. Tom has read and summarised soooo many books

begger of time

Remuera

Sat on a bench. 

Begger came to sit beside. 

I sat a while with him.

Ask hows the day, 

Hows the place. 

Whats his story?

He said he didn't want to talk about it. 

No one listens. Theres no time.

Time is a funny thing eh. 

A begger not having enough time.

Hmm

work is creation

 we are made to make things.

bring order to chaos.

entropy happens naturally. all things move towards this state.

hence, energy has to be inputted to mitigate it.

everything we do, is part of creation.

like writing this blog post.

the fingers typing on the keyboard to make legible information from my illegible thoughts in the mind.

the ink in a pen forming out a pattern recognized as words by another reader..

ink in a pen, is potential.

the casing held in the hand,

the nib on a sheet of paper,

the ink flows out..

it makes... something

something is created

i fix machines.

that is my work.

i bring order to chaos.

fix the broken

so that it works again

God, Jesus... fix me

what i got from YLDP with Prof. neo BS on distruption

 

-"If it's aligned, say yes and fit it into the schedule. If it's not aligned, even with free time, say no"...…

-a fundamental skill: learn how to solve problems in a computational manner

-dealing with burnout: set limits.

 

-its not about learning everything, its about keeping it going.

Get involved in solving a problem, then it's easier to learn something

 

-super long term view (we might not see in our own lifetime): eventually old things die out, but new congregations are born that cater to the needs of future generations.

big picture view: Kingdom of God is everlasting

 

-be driven by time rather then scope.

instead of waiting for a comprehensive solution at the end of 24 months, I rather have partial solutions every 1 month.

 

-without a foundation, agility doesn't work.

it leads to instability because there is no center.

smarthponeee

 How do you think mobile phones have changed not just the realm of communication? It literally has changed everything about life. It's the TV, Radio, Photobook, Camera, Newspaper. Actually I think the smartphone is just the key to a door. Like a window. The real allure or attractiveness or distraction is what is behind the screen. Whether it be the endless recommended mindlessly entertaining short videos from YouTube, FB, TikTok, Instagram.. or really knowledge improving wisdom growing content from wholesome sources on the exact same platforms. Mobile phones are a double edge sword, both a blessing and a threat. It just depends on how the wielder swings it. Hold a smartphone without intention or purpose, and it will consume it's consumer.

quittt

Strategic quitting:

Endless scrolling of

Facebook and Youtube. 

They really are like a slot machine.

Just anticipating that the next recommend vedio will be something novel, exciting and dopamine triggering.

But time flies away, tricking bit by bit till precious hours are gone. 

Such a waste, such a... let down

Such a lack of willpower. 

Or is it? Is it the environment? With the phone always so avialable by the side.

"you can do anything, once you stop trying to do everything" 

the price

"the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it"- Henry David Thoreau

Jesus and the Holy Spirit

 Jesus cleans out the gunk from the heart,

the Holy Spirit comes in and fills that void so other bad stuff can't come in to fill it back up.

20th.... it's a wednesday

had a nice holiday to New Plymouth for friday saturday sunday and monday...

i didn't work on the thursday before

i didn't work on tuesday and wednesday...

gee...

is this how a break feels like

week 2 tuesday

 so doing the core upgrades alone now.

made so many blunders in telling the armourguard guys what is needed.

i.e coin side cars needing to be open or not.. haha oops.

went to the house to talk.. lots of talk..

sigh, 

studied while exercising is good time made.

cleared up emails.

ah... i need to do my time sheets and expense claims.. zz

overall.. sorta productive day.. better than last week...

without plans and all..

listened to how to have  healthy liver on blinklist...

two protein shakes and a meal at night... keep the liver functioning well throughout the day.

should leave the house earlier.. so.. jam along the way.

got to eat pnsonby's my fried chicken... walk.. and use the Lime scooter.. yea

friday

7.09am wake up. breakfast

blink list: crazy faith. stretch

shower

 8.44am virus scan. 3 threrats found D:/$Recycle.bin.. so dodgy

off to work to pick up Cores and stuff

1.30 cleaned the house

its 3.30pm now.. discovered twitch streamers..

6.00 left early to go dinner at Nandos.. had such a good chat with David, Steph, Esther and Crystal

thought i should have jogged here and taken a shower at the gym

11.36pm.. time to sleep

going coromandel tmr

thursday

 7.30 am wake up to the sound of showers after all my alarm clocks went off earlier on.... 

8am breakfast, she wants bread.

10am.... still at home.. 2 hours

 12.23pm.... at home... sc2

stukov

4.50pm..... tor

zz

time to go cook that fried fish

7.18 finished dinner

i should have gone staging today

wednesday

 7.30am wake up

8.30 had breakfast

pray as you go - be ye wise,

what is truth? - truth is... what Jesus says. what God declares as truth

what is freedom? living in His ways

my understanding is limited,, to reconcile it to the words of Jesus, I have to accept that it will never be perfect until the day I meet Him in heaven

if God were your Father, the you would love me.

Truth and freedom lead to love, the heart of John's gosple

God you've sent me here.

God in you i am free

God, I am not alone.

what do i need to live in Your love?

a sound mind, focus, freedom from the distractions of this world.

self control. a daily routines of good habits.

 9.10am quite time with the Lord. slight numbness in the left side of the face, felt it in the corner of the forehead, going to the left ear and cheeks.

10 push uos, 10 squats, 1 min plank, 10 dips, 30 sit ups, 10 superman, 

9.18am Shri called. Head off to NCR office to collect CE keys.

...

went to the office,

went into a church

came home at about 12.30

game

5pm

zzz