male vs man

"A male seeks to be served; a Man seeks to be of service." - Dondré Whitfield

loss of contentment

You dont need to know everything

universal theme: wisdom

Elim church: a little bit of wisdom

A book on wisdom by tim keller

Book of proverbs chapter 1

wellbeing

Wellbeing 10/10

Omly possible with Christ

hi God

"hi God,

How are you feeling today?" 

Ia a conversation I'd like to have in the morning

authentic salvation

Salvation is

Fully Becoming who we are supposed to be

the earth will stop going round the sun one day

The ability of someone to accept the possibility of aliens is a good gauge of a person's comprehension of logic and physics

The earth was not without a beginning, 

Nor will it orbit the sun everlasting, 

Stars go out once they burn out

And so too will humanity eventually 

pineal gland third eye

Was listening to some "new age pineal gland activation music"... Gosh it sounds like the synthesiser in church during those moments of silence and prayer times

Its an endocrine gland that secrets homones. That can make ppl feel 'good'

Its linked to the 'third eye' concept 

Probably linked to the central nervous system, which is called different things in different cultures: vagus nerve, 7 chakra points, kindalini snake...

Yup the back bone

With all those nerves stuffed inside it

And the different glands that affect it

Coffee, 

Tea

Alcohol 

And other substances

Nerve synapses

Man this body is quite lit

But alot of this 'wellness' hokey pokey is a lil far out, like... Alot of things are actually quite scientific, and medically explainable

Like whim hoff breathing techniques, 

I was holding my breath as a kid

Mhmm

But sports, 

Sleep

Food

Mindfulness, 

Self awareness, 

Awakening 

Hah... I guess some Christian lingo uses stuff from the new age movement too, or is it the other way around

We were never thought to question, 

Or to try different cultures and experiences 

I think the key to unlocking is... 

Try something new

almost crashed

Almost crashed on the highway

Blue hyuandai with number plate LCW something..

Road raged and stopped infront of a pick up

Almost caused a pile up.. 

Gee... 

explanations

LIfe is about explaining

because everyone has their own stories.

and everyone's story is quite legit,

well.... legit to them,

in the sense that they genuinely belief that the way their living is 

the truth, the right way

stories

i have my own story

so do you

i dont think that your story is fake,

maybe i used to when i was younger

but i no longer,

i dont want you to think that my story is fake

 

the end will come one day

the sun will stop shining one day,

the earth will cease to follow it's orbit...

that is the fate of the universe we live in,

it will not last forever

all worlds in me

 Mr Nobody,

Is one of the best movies i've watched..

that i think life is like...

there's just so many choices that we could have taken in life, in the past, in the future

there's an infinite amount of parallel universes,

one i didn't do this,

one i did that..

one i stayed,

one i went

but now... this is the present

this is the universe that i currently live in

you are here,

with me.

i'll love you till the end 

do rest

Do the right things,

And you will find rest

daydreamer

My hobby is to daydream

Hope for the best, 

And the universe will do the rest.. 

Or God

tongariro

Hiked tongariro.

Super unprepared

Gear

Plans.. 

Rush

Cut cost

Whatever.. Did part of the Te Araroa

Next time Mangatepopo entrace...

Whakapapa village was nice but.. Too far trekking in

Need to get, 

Headlamp, jacket and proper shoes

pump your petrol

Fuel bar was 1/4 to E.

Tongariro g.a.s. Was expensive. 

Didnt pump. 

Drove for abt 1 1/2 hours and then the needle dropped till the light came on.

Survived to Te Kuiti BP

Pumped 80bucks 37L

Thank you Lord the car didn't die at the side of the road

egg big ego

Don't say another person's ego is big,

That'll be one's own ego talking 

driving vtnz

Went for a driving test with Crystal today.

At Highlands. 

We got a strict testing officer

But.. Yah she was nice. 

Just talk

Thank you Lord

competition

Ego is good,

To a certain point. 

Such too is competition. 

As long as its not comparison 

That undermines one's

Self image. 

His own personal view on himself. 

When we compare ourselves to others

We just get miserable. 

However there's a need for self confidence, 

But not manufactured. 

It has to come naturally... 

As if a by product of something innate

Just.. Do what needs to be done. 

At that moment. 

Absorbed. 

Stop thinking about other things. 

Stop the mind wondering

However... Dont meditate until the mind is totally empty of everything. Thats bad. 

reiki

Had my first reiki session,

10 minutes at lunch break

in tune with nature's rythm

You'd know,

When someone's in tune

With nature's rythm 

His words and actions, 

Will be so pleasent. 

The conversations

So natural and convinient 

the size of the universe

Is absolute in value at any single moment in temporal space,

However, our perceptions of it differ from person to person in the sense that its relative to how much we know about it. 

In essence, the universe is only as big as we experience it to be, varying from person to person...

Mind blown d@.. Mind blownn

Always enjoyed this coversations

cell groups and liberation theology

"Cell groups" is a term that my childhood church used. I was so used to it growing up for twenty over years.

Just found out that it is from the South American Liberation theology. They had a strategy that if the Red Wave from communist China swept southwards, the big churches could break up and still be meeting in smaller groups. 

Mind blown..

But yeah its so funny why churches nowadays have so many different terms for the same things

Sunday service = celebration

Worship practice = creative get together

Cell groups = life/small groups etc

Leaders are told to use this 'lingo' to create a more exclusive feeling.

Wow..

adult childhood

You either fix your childhood problems and become an adult,

Or you will spend your adult life fixing yoir childhood problems

a pattern

12 months

12 signs

Why are there different personalities? 

That seem to repeat over and over. 

Just like the 4 seasons

Human nature is determined, 

By the tides and phases. 

No, we have freedom to choose, 

Free will of choice. 

We make our future whatever we want it to be.. no? 

Funny how we incline to certain things, 

While we are replelled by some.. 

lessons in mistakes

There are no regrets in mistakes,

They are lessons for the future. 

growth track 1

Sit in circles, not lines.

No one will ask questions

Show up in person, not a recorded video.

please piss

Can't please everyone, 

But don't pass off everyone. 

humor

Why do we stop making jokes when we become adults?

We think too much about others response

fishing

When you're all ready to go for fishing,

All the tackle in the car, 

The day's agenda clear for the pond... 

And then the skies grow gloomy, 

Dark grey clouds blown in overhead

Be it subang jaya or kelana jaya,

Or taman aman... 

That feeling... 

That no one can stop the rain, 

Unless a prayer, 

That blows the clouds away

Is heard by a God above... 

The rain drops when on is fishing, 

The splashes in the pool

The smell of the damp air

As we hide under a gazebo...

Rolling up the mat, 

Widing up the tackle

Cleaning the worms of the hooks, 

The smell of dirt in the nails, 

The dried worm juice on the fingers, 

Caked mud, hardend skin... 

A patient mind, 

A solaced soul, 

A quietened heart, 

A rested body

Tranquillity 

Father and son, 

Peace 

Love

bleh

Core basics

Nutrition: eat well

Exercise: sweat atleast 30 minutes 3 times a week

Sleep: whenever you're tired, naps on the weekends, 8 hours per night. Wake up at 5am? Sleep at 9pm the night before

Life improvement 

Read

Write

Draw

Count

Create 

Dance

Game? 

sin is bad habits

Sinning

A bad habit

Is whatever one constantly does

That keeps him off the right track

Sinning

Is not doing what one should be doing

Sin

How bad is it? 

It destroys one's life

Sin

What a word

What things are defined as it

When i was young it was

"when you disobey God's commandments" 

Sin.... 

So tempting

Sin.. 

So enticing

Yet sin.. Leads to death

Sinful 

Sinfulness 

I'm full of sin, 

Such horrible life

Such horrible choices

Such a way 

Such a horrid life

A horrid way to live life 

God save me 

denial of desire

Just because you feel like doing something, 

Doesn't mean you should go and do it.

I.e. I felt like playing AoE2 with Hsiang, Darcy, Wythe, Julissa and Sky. But its a Friday night and i needed to work the next day on a Saturday morning for half the day. I'm tired.

Sleep, nutrition, exercise. 

Discipline and determination 

Purpose and motivation 

Action and reaction 

the earth is flat

"Jesus is not coming again"

Unless one can maturely entertain that quote... How can one expect others to entertain that "Jesus is coming again"

do do doo

You don't really know what you're doing,

Unless your doing what you want to do, 

Because any otherwise, 

You'll be doing whatever someone else wants you to do... 

coding philosophy

 so code is basically like maths right,

you'll have functions, variables, arguments,

plus minuses multiplications...

what if one could program out philosophy?

using the names of philosophers, their main/core ideas, worldviews, questions and plans...

hmm sounds like a giant mind map actually.. eh.. isn't that what coding is! a mindmap 

i.e

Plato = socrates + aristotle

kant = ...?

the empiricist and logics, the romantics and aesthetics,

the communist and democrats, economy and religion,

all mash them up into a code.... how cool would that be!

maybe... one would see what worldview really encompasses all when it's all been laid out in relation to one another.. like.... woah..

is there really a final general equation to all this with ... and answer?

or is the answer just a function, and the results are actually just relative to what inputs we place into the variables..

no somethings dont change do they...

some things just dont

the law against suicide

Why do governments have laws that prevent one from taking their own lives?

I'm not suicidal or for euthanasia or pro-choice or anything like that. 

But it's just a random thought. 

Yes when i was younnger I'd argue that suicide is a sin. God forbades murder, even murdering yourself. And that good people make laws that are meant to protect society from becoming dysfunctional, even when they (the common people) dont understand fully why. 

Well, take for an extreme example if everyone killes themselves, there would be people lwft to govern.

Going slightly down the scale, if people could kill themselves when they felt emotionally down, which is temporary... There will be no law to prevent them from doing so and staying alive to the next day.. Which could be better.

And people, especially if they were thought "owh, feel free to kill yourself". What wouls young immature teens think about that? Especially when their self-worth and identity is so shaped by social media and the likes of 'friends' 

Well maybe make a law akin to drinking or smoking... Above 18 or 21, as if every person's brain matures according to a physically set chronology...

You can take your own life when you are an adult and have reach the 'age of consent'. Haha... Better not be any stressful jons out there... Bosses might need to be more humane and ethical and really caring.... Or they'll lose alot of employees 

Well.. Think about that... A world where nothing would want to make you commit suicide... Not because you're prevent from doing it legally... But because... 

Life is.. good

That's what lifs would be without a law to prevent suicides 

Maybe 

two types of knowledge

There is useful knowledge,

And there is useless knowledge. 

bits 0 1

Everything is bytes,

Its just what format

land

How did you find me? 

I was on a hunt, otw there was smoke. Like any cabin would have. Otw back there wasn't. 

Edee: "why are you helping me?"

Miguel: "you were in my path"

empathy game

Goal: to raise empathy among children playing it.

Basically its like charades 

Person A gets a paper with an emotion on it. I.e happiness, sadness, anger, etc

And perosn B has to guess what the emotion is. 

Its like reading body language 

unbridled freedom is chaos

Freedom is chaos,

When there's no boundaries... its insanity 

reflection life

Self reflection is the key to self awareness,

To live a contemplative life, present in every moment. 

chaos

 creation

is bringing order to reality: chaos

every morning i wake up at 5

 okay my alarm goes off at 5,

but i dont get out of bed straight away

i lay in it,

reach out my hand, groping in the dark to where i roughly remember placing the phone the night before to charge...

hit the snooze. 10 minutes... another ten... and another...

sometimes i turn it off and go to bed for another hour.

it's hard to get out of bed..

there's nothing to look forward to in the day,

the work..... is mundane.. and just for the money

saving up... 

it's not going to be forever...

just need to get through this time....

it's just temporary...

everyday its hard to get up.

i'm... tired.

i just want to.... rest

i pull the sheets back up over my aching body,

coving my cold feet so they can warm up under the duvet

i cherish my sleep

just before i have to go work

and come home,

and get ready for bed,

and repeat..

everyday

is

exactly

the same...

every morning i wake up.... audiobooks

 Brave New World

wow... really, makes me think of what this life is all about.

racism, sexism, cast systems.. contioning, society

am i a Beta or Gamma? 

dont think i'm an alpha or epsilon

plus minus?

my mind doesn't seem to be as sharp as what it used to be when i was younger

I'm beginning to think that everything is .... acceptable when viewed form the perspective of the other.

it's okay to be, contentended and.. stupid. ignorant

its okay to be a seeker of knowledge, but with more knowingness of things, ignorance is harder

discontentment

What's more important in life is not standing firm on one's fascists beliefs that one grew up with,

but making a choice to choose one's worldview when one has come of age.

listening to God is a real thing.

God is real.

how can we help others to experience God?

love.

some say love is silly.

some say that it is everything.

caring for others.

not caring.

i think i dont care so much nowadays.

just too... caught up with my own world.

not a nice new world.

i liked the old world where i grew up in.

i felt that it was the most relevant and real thing.

people were real. authentic...

people aren't real nowadays.

everyone's faking it...

i'm faking it.

i feel like a fraud.

God.

life isn't perfect.

i wish it was,

then again, where would the opportunity for growth be? 

I work in a cucumber glass house now.

every morning i wake up.....

Cold mornings

 The night air in the morning is cold,

yet i wake up to brace it everyday

twice in a different river

You never step into the same river twice

The river's name is always the same

the day before the birthday

 hello blog,

i woke up late today for work. haha. snoozed the alarm. woke up at 7.30am, the time that work starts. drove to work about an hour. well, it was a night of deep conversations, being woken up in the middle of it for my darling to break some news to me about her best friend.

today i listened to about three podcast along the common theme of the "brain"

The Next Big Idea: the Brain: A user's guide to the blob between your ears. where neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett debunks the three stages of brain that has been commonly taught in schools. i.e primal lizard brain, ... uhh. ah says it's not for thinking but more for budgeting and how memory works.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2b3C4dvUkYvTpOsuw0E0nH?si=cU2WaQ4RTqWaJbALe8TeUA 

and then there was erm another episode that just talked about the primal brain. lol

i think it was Your Undivided Attention. 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7tTwo8aLwKzdVfUQaGFi12?si=LsR-MJEGQ1qwQXK21Po36Q

or maybe it was something else.

anyway... i noticed that the podcast that i listen to in a day. share common themes for that day. how cool is that?? coincidence . i think not. 

i remember one time it was a bout "Responsibility" or something like that.

to be responsible for our own actions,

i would like to be able to do that. like.... take up responsibility.. really.

I messed up life quite bad now and then.

i bought a 1TB Samsung SSD for NZD180 "accidentally" and was a little hesitant to tell Crystal about it. It's one of the very useful purchases i feel.

anyways. i should lie or hide anymore things if i'm to live togther with this woman for the rest of my life. (the song "honesty" is playing in the background now..... honesty is such a lonely world... its hardly ever heard.... its what i need from you.... its playing on my google nest mini speaker... 

i wish i took the google wifi hubs from Sylvia when she offered it. instead of trying to be nice and said that i talked to Chris about it the night before and found out he bought them expensive and would be unwilling to pass them to me. well i was honest then. haha . hope i can just pick up a second hand router and set up my own personal wifi.

i'm thinking of studying to be a newwork engineer btw.

should i?

IT...

python, linux, dockers, etc.....

seems intresting, but can i do it for the long run? coding and all

there's some CompTIA certifications on sale now 98% off... so tempting

70USD... offer on stacksocial on iColledge

so yeah....

tempting. but do i have the time? yeah heck i do.. one hour a day or something.. if i could partition my life that would be good.

i think i accidentally installed a virus from some bogus website to crack the Hard Disk sentinel on my crypo mining computer too.... haha too hasty. watened to run down to cook the potato pizza.

should be more chill...

i'm quite happy with the mining actually.

11.52pm... 8 more minutes till my 28th birthday.. yea!

going for chinese massage at newmarket tmr and a fancy dinner with my darling!

no WORK! (i hope i get to skip the planting of the small plants) i heard from Tim it's the worst thing taking the baby plants out of the truck... it's back breaking.

relative Universalist

Relative Universalist 

What is my philosophy in life?

The only thing that is absolute, 

Is everything is relative. 

The only constant, 

Is change (or growth) 

Doubt is an uncomfortable position, 

But certainty is absurd. - Voltaire 

I wish i could accept everyone's point of view in life without being judgmental or bringing my own biases into my thoughts about that person. But its hard considering how we've all be brought up in a certain way of thinking. 

To be empathetic, showing care and kindness. To try to understand the person's feelings and condition before making an assumption. 

To juat be true and accept that not everyone will like me. Its impossible to be liked by two opposing sides. We either love one and hate the other or love neither. That was what i was thought. 

We cannot love both. 

Can we not? 

Is it really not possible. 

Maybe. 

We have to choose our own path in life. 

Of casue if we had a partner we have to take their views into consideration too. For that is the responsibility and commitment when we made the choice to belong to another. 

Be true to yourself, 

No matter what. 

Travel is good, 

It opens up the mind to different cultures. 

Culture shock. 

Because we never really crawled out of the the rock we hid under all our lives. Our nice little comfort space. Our eco chamber where all views, ideas and opinions are unified in a synchronised consolidation 

Go out into the open. 

Listen to the left and right. 

Be a centralist, neutral at first. 

And then pick the side to stand on. 

It'll be an informed decision. 

And be consistent with it. 

I accept that i might be wrong. 

I acknowledge that i dont have complete knowledge of everything. 

I'm open

Yet i respect, 

First myself

And then others. 

God. 

There comes a choice when we are no longer infants. No longer living under the shelter of of parents, the house and community we were born into. Our lot in life. Our nature and nurture. 

To mature. 

What is growing up, 

What is coming of age? 

Its about making choices. 

Tough hard choices. 

Decisiveness. 

Decisions that will make or break the future. About looking long term. 

Defining who we are in the current moment. By whom we've been in the past

Our decisions along life's journey, 

Will be the test of our character. 

Did we show resilience when tempted to do wrong? Cause harm. Hurt people we love and care about? 

Or did we fight back against the tide. 

Ride it

Flow with it 

Or drown

Fight it. Resist it. But surf it. 

Dont be crushed by it.

Stand on the firm foundation, 

A solid rock. 

God. 

Makes

All things.... Good

Yet life is imperfect. 

Its full of bad stuff. 

God is good

He always is. 

Its not a contradiction. 

Its whom He is, 

And He gave us a choice. 

The freedom to choose. 

A better life

A life for Him and His values. 

Or a free life, free from slavery. 

No. 

Freedom is only truely found in Him.

When we forsake all others. 

For the singular choice we make. 

We cannot have our cake and eat it. 

We cant have everything in this world. 

Or cease ro be anything at all. 

Cease to come to be anything of significance. 

Life. 

Why did God give it to me. 

And you. 

Why did i meet you

Why are you reading this

Why did our paths cross, 

The unseen strings of this infinite web. 

Mingling and intertwining 

Into a beautiful array of... 

Nothingness 

Somethingness

God

We are all one. 

In Him

We are all seperate individuals 

Yet choose 

United by choices

Not against our free will. 

Self control 

The last and hardest part of the fruit of the Spirit. 

Yet with the wise Counsellor, 

The Holy Ghost,

It is obtainable. 

Love, 

Joy.. 

Peace

Patience 

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness 

Gentleness 

and

Self control 

dont know everything, cant know everything

Its okay to not know stuff,

Ask

Just don't make up things

And end up a liar 

I want to give an answer to a question 

Something, anything rather than "i dont know". 

Just to seem or be perceived to be intelligent. I'm not fooling anyone but myself. 

I cant control it sometimes, its a reflex. 

But all things can be tamed, rhe tongue is especially hard to. But nothing is impossible.. with Christ.

Just put away the pride and ego. 

Ask, not assume

It makes an "ass" of "u" and "me" 

tattoos and pure skins

The people in religion try to keep themselves holy. They are like the pure breed. White skins, no tattoos. Faultless.

And those that dare to tatto themselves, their faces their bodies. They are rebellious. They fight the system that they grow up surrounded by.

Yet we still choose to love them. Is it a superiority complex? That we are greater because we can love another? 

No i think we are just fooling ourselves. 

The better person is the one that can choose to do what he wants despite of what outside pressures are. If we are to make choices that require us to take into consideration too many factors, the final decision will not be of our own making. 

We will cease to live truely to ourselves. 

Friend of friends

freedom and limits

Freedom is not being able to do whatever you'd want, but its choosing the things that are in line with your core value.

Limiting choices, setting boundaries, and turning down offers to whatever is not in line. 

To chase after what really matters

making choices

Travelling makes one grow up,

Because choices have to be made

right and wrong

If everyone is right

Then everyone is wrong 

the war is fabricated

https://youtu.be/1lr8_OUa58c

I feel like the war is fabricated

Something to.. Keep people distracted 

What if they were all actors, 

Why would they follow such a script

Or a way of life?

unequal fairness

All humans are equal,

But life is not fair

chinese wisdom

You live today,

Today counts

过一天算一天

suicide and christ

(Only) when one has contemplated suicide seriously.....

Can they follow Christ wholeheartedly 

cloud atlas

Warched the movie again..

Reminds me of sembulan

What.. People think is okay

Is not okay

And someone whom knows the true true

Has to.. Do something.. 

Speak out.. Act. 

moon and sun

Everyone goes to sleep under the same moon,

Everyone wakes up to the same sun

the solution to poverty

Being poor is generally associated with a particular economic state. Of cause we can define it to include other aspects such as metal, emotional, relational and other abstract values. For this particular statement however let set the boundary as regards to being poor financially.

So what is the solution to this age old question? How did peasants in the feudal eras overcome their lords, how did workers unionised to demand rights from capitalist, how did slaves walk out freed men? 

I thought over it, while picking cumcumbers... And I've come up with a theoretical soultion

For there to be no poor, there has to be no rich. 

Now i know that sounds crazy. But listen before you label me a socialistic communist..

There will be no poor when people stop exploiting other people. When humans cease to see each other as mear objects. When humanity can realise we're all in this together.

As one part of the body cares for another, so too should those privileged ones care for the less fortunate. 

To embodie this theory. One has to be able to come to apoint where he will never make a claim that he is rich. Or well, never self proclaim it. If he has the ability to be rich, and there are still the poor amongst him, then he isn't truly rich.. yet. He is only considered rich if he's been able to eradicate poverty. In other words there are no more poor people.

However this might be impossible, because human nature by default is lazy and we tend to the path of least resistance. Someone whom is just begging and waiting for handouts without lifting a finger surely doesnt deserve help does he?

Or does he nevertheless? 

The undeserving, 

The unlovable, 

The hated

The ridiculed

The scorned and shamed... 

Ah... Surely they dont deserve unmerited favours. 

The solution to poverty is there must be no richness. 

One man gets richer at the expense of another. Thats just the natural law of nature. A plant that extends more roots can get water supplies and essential nutritions better than another plant whom cant compete. Completion for sunlight, minerals and space makes nature progress in a.... sustainable manner. 

Old plants will never live forever, nor seeds remain in the ground. Young plants will not be shaded forever, and with the full sunlight after a treefall, they have the time and potential to mature to their best. Growing high and proving shade for the next generation, continuing the cycle. 

Its all a cycle. 

The rich, the poor 

The lazy the hardworking

The exploited the opportunist 

There will be no more poor when the rich willingly give up their riches

Yes so that sounds impossible. No human in the right frame of mind will give up their hard earn savings to some random beggar on the street that didn't work hard for it. 

No God would give up his life, his throne in heaven for a mankind so full of hate towards him. 

But anyways.. 

Nature.. 

If they don't, nature will just happen. 

People will die. It cant be taken along. Money will be passed on. It'll be squandered by the next generation. And... 

The poor will be the one whom was once rich. And the currently poor will find riches.

Or will they? 

The solution to poverty. 

There must be no hypercapitalism, 

No advertising or marketing. 

No broadcasting, social media or expositions... 

Will that make it go away? 

Maybe not.. Thats just living in denial, ignorance. 

The solution to poverty is when there is no money... That can be concentrated.. 

Hmm block chain? Crypto currency might just overthrow the current economic market.. Maybe leaving old traditional cash obsolete and invalid.. Then what? What about this new world order.. 

Are you ready or prepared for it? 

The answer to the big question.. 

The poor you will always have among you, 

It is what you choose to do when interacting with them that will determine the outcome of the chain of events about to occur in time. 

Till next time, 

Thanks for wsnting to be better today than you were yesterday. 

dont lose your life winning it

"Ne perds pas ta vie en la gagnant" - Alex

respect nature

Humans didn't respect nature,

Now nature hits back hard. 

selfish selflessness

There are two kinds of people.

One that help others without expecting anything in return. 

And one that helps for selfish reasons. 

Some people have a worldview that every person in the world is actually selfish, that theres alwaysba hidden intention to any help offered, big or small. I don't disagree completely with them if they hold this view so strongly. I belive everyone is born selfish, as evident in a baby or child. They only think sbout themseves and self preservation. Milk, toys. Leaening to 'share' is probably one of the hardest lessons

Coming to selflessness and true kindness. Gratitude, generosity, and just a heart that blesses. 

Can a person like that exist? One that gives without expecting anything in return. Genuinely. 

A person that helps for the sake of helping and nothing else. Because thats in his character to do so. Its who he is. 

There is no hesitancy or feeling of obligation. No hint of resistance or pause.

Yes i believe there is only one person that truely has that, Jesus. 

And the only way we could be that charitable is by His power. The Father has to give and grant it to us to do so. 

I'm not rich enough...

I used to say money isn't the most important thing in this world (dont worry, it still isn't the number one)

But with that saying came a mindset that money wasn't really important in any sense (which is obviously not true)

Not like i never appreciated or been grateful for what is, but maybe i took for granted the providence

Like isn't it normal for a child to ask of a father, and the father lovingly gives what he knows to be good to his beloved child?

And wouldn't a father want to give if he could, wouldn't it be abnormal if a son refuses to ask or accept the good gifts a father wants to give, especially out of proud arrogance?

(just to make things clear I'm perfectly okay with my dad, haha.. Its just a thought experiment I'm getting to)

So many people i meet here in NZ on the working holiday dont have that same mindset..

I mean, i dont blame them least i be condescending. But like... money is such a big deal, as if life revolves around the dollar sign..

Maybe they were not so blessed, childhood gorwing up in certain family conditions and such.. But don't we get to choose how our relationship and feelings towards money would be when we are adults?

I've met people whom are contented, whom dont say "I'm poor and need to work more" (so so so many people say that when they're not!). I've also met others that keep saying that...

Jesus....

Well God really talked alot abt money in the Bible didn't He.. I guess without Jesus... Really the only other god to live for would probably be that..

Gee, dont know why i feel so frustrated, so.. judgy...

Anyways.. Yeap..

Like you said contentment is key

2020

What a year

Started it off with cmaping for five days with eric at mt kinabalu

Applied for the NZ working holiday visa in Jan. Using Digi hot-spot on a huawei mate9... Getting through the servers was a miracle. I remember praying so earnestly to God 

Flew to NZ in Feb from singapore after visiting Joshua. My first ever flight that needed a transit in Aus.

Touched down in Christchurch and got picked up by Crystal, we homestayed

Worked in timaru in a carrot juicing factory, loved caroline bay and the bay side walk, played basketball, badminton with Kinson, Hea

Lock down happened

Worked 2 days and off 2 days

We had lots of trips for hiking, Mt Nimrod the first with its beautifully cold waterfall

Made friends with a kiwi Dav and Sue, Bbq and used his airsoft gun. 

While the world was going crazy with Covid, NZ stayed chill woth Jacinda and Lvl 4 lockdown.. And its citizens generally really following guidelines 

After four months of 12 hour morning shift factory work... Winter was approaching. We resigned and did a road trip in a motor home for abt a week. Queenstown, wanaka, lake tekapo, mt Cook.

First time hiking in snow, magical

Did snow boarding too, its cool. Much more fun than skiing, well the boots were comfier 

Then road trip with 4 ppl in the car, crystal, kexin, han and I in a nissan liberty. Milford sounds (fuel up your car before going!), nelson, backpacking lots of places, homestaying too... 

Salmon, queenstown, bluff oysters, Invercargill Starbucks.. 

Then we were up north, Wellington, thanks Michelle for hosting us in your beautiful home. 

Then Auckland. Enterprise Recruitment got us into something-micro.. A warehouse for phones and laptops. But the hours were too short. So we got 12 hour night shift work at Sistema. Life there... Mele, hazel, elizabeth and her stories.. 

We also tried to to pasar malam eith sam from treasure Kitchen.. But then second round of covid came.. 

Well.. 

I JUST SAW A SHOOTING STAR! 11.03PM at. Mt eden...

Cool

Yea.. Moved houses from 2H3 to 2H5.. Becamw guan jia, clean stuff... 

Owh i bumped my head om the shower handle one day, nose started bleeding.. Hasn't stopped.. Especial when i exert too much strength at work.. I feel like a blood vessel pops.. Lol.. 

Or maybe it was just the unhealthy life in sistema.. (i wasn't sleeping properly). I'll sleep in the car. Sleep suring breaks. Be sleepy when i drive back.  And only get abt 4-5 hours sleep in the morning (its too bright!) and i probably didn't have enough hormone built up to be sleepy enough. 

And on our off days we'd need to flip back from night to day back to night. 

Erm.. Anyways.. Now i sleep alot.. Avg 7-8 hours. Sometimes 9-10 on the weekends

Anyways... 

Started attending Elim church. (we tried ABT). Wanna be more.. Integrated and involved... 

Ps Becs said 1. Reprioritise, 2. Reposition 3. Resurface 

When things are brought back up, its time to deal with them.. The right way. 

Its getting cold.. Regret not bringing a sleeping bag, blanket.. 

It just gets.. Really cold here.. 

I'm not planning anymore 

I'm not.. Being proactive and thinking ahead. 

And not.. Interacting with.. People.. 

Sigh.. 

Life.. 

Life.. 

2021..

Come quickly 

joy to the world

Its a joy just to be alive

gold crown antenna

Kings wore these pieces of metal with weird shapes to pick up frequencies from the beyond...

attention economy

Our attention is a resource,

A really valuable one. 

And cooperations are out there to grab it. 

Protect it furiously 

wisdom, knowledge. more knowledge is wiser or not?

 if the textbook answer of wisdom is: applying knowledge appropriately.
(and on a side note, understanding is being able to explain complex terms in simpleness)

then... what is if that knowledge was just a limited pool of memory?

see, our minds can only fabricate so much from the collective experiences that we've had.

and being able to come to conclusions with that... how is that wisdom? if we do not seek to know more than we already do? i dont think there's such a thing as "knowing too much". logically the more one knows, the more... comprehensive their reasoning capacity would be... no?

or does knowing too much cloud judgement, the less one knows, the simpler minded one is, the more 'cohesive' and 'coherent' (opostite of dissociation) i.e. associated or integrated one's mind would be. the easier it would be to come to conclusions that aren't conflicting with one another. gosh to be able to have the blissful non-conflicting thoughts when making a decision. zero-doubt. ignorance is bliss.

hah... anyways what i'm trying to say is.

the less one knows the better

the one more knows the better too

consolidated <--- thats the word i was looking for

strategy games are worlds

Playing strategy games is like life.

You've gotta get resources, minerals.

Thats money in real life.

You've gotaa manage logistics and caps, 

Thats the limited human resource. 

Gotta build stuff, and army, research. 

Thats a home, friends, learning new things

Playing games tesches one about managing stuff in life, in reality. 

jack bogle on covid

I wonder what would jack bogle say about covid if he were still alive

"its only 200/300..."

When i told my dad i would be selling a car cheaper than i bought it...

He says yeah as it exchanges hands the value depreciates.. And its okay its just two three hundred dollars... 

That almost brought me to tears. 

To be reminded by my dad, my origins, my culture... 

That we're not always out there to make money out of everything. There's more to life than being greedy... 

How far I've strayed from the path

Oh generosity are you still alive in there? 

Oh love and respect, shes the one above everyone else. Love her, cherish her. 

I thank God. For them, my parents, my lover. They were there in my life at the right times. Teaching me different things.

All that i may become a better and whole man. Christ, you are my role model above all

when the sell shares

Q: when should i sell my shares?

A: when you desperately need the money. 

Investing isnt the same as trading. In for the long run, not short term.

Learning so much from Sharesies lunch money podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/47AkXbg17RAmN8QfJKzLeL?si=UVA-zvyoQmWvN6AvYe9Ikw

washing pens

I dreamt that i left some pens in my pockets and washed the pants.

Happened once, the hivest jacket

why was Jesus a man?

Why did God choose the male gender when being born as Jesus?

I guess in the context of the cultural background that time.. Guys could just do things that girls couldn't. Like teach in the synagogue and stuff. Lots of roles were gender biased.

humility and respect

Staying humble is bloody hard.

Especially when you know you csn do things better than others at certain things. 

Without humility, Pride blinds one. 

We cant see the potential in others without humilty. 

We cant understand others, be empathetic, and give the other person the comfort and feeling of safety amd assurance without humilty. 

And respect. 

Everyone deserves respect. 

The incompetent, the lazy, the unfortunate, the poor by choice or just circumstances, the begger the rich, the proud, the lonely the lovely. 

proverbs: to gain wisdom, philosophise

 always wondered what proverbs was talkng about when solomon asked to find wisdom, understanding and knowledge at whatever cost..

but how does one... spend money? or time? to gain those three things..

well....

i think a good way to do it would be philosophy.

starting from the socratic era and hellenistic era... the thinkers at time ask alot of questions that many of us don't now adays. questions that we don't need to ask, we aren't required to ask, we dont have the time and liberty (away from all the distractions) to ask....  our shorthening aattention span due to the usage of smartphone and dopamine overdoes ins't helping...

hence, podcase by Philosophize this by Stephen West have been life saving for 12 hour night shift work at the Sistema factory here in NZ...

just wish i could take out a pen and paper more often to write down ideas and thoughts... to pause the audio and read a script... to take time to ponder

owh we... the good stuff sticks.

epicurean stoic

Am i an epicurean or a stoic? 

Do i seek a tranquil life through minimising suffering and hardship or the pursuit of virtue. 

Alexander the great said if he were not Alexander he would be Diogenes

In circles, there are those whom lead, thinking they know what's best and right. Theres those whom follow, loyalty out of unswerving faithfulness... And there are those whom..... Just dont care

black holes and lost civilizations

 black holes are civilisations that grew too advance in their technology,

the manage to squeeze in too much into too small a space...

until the very fabric of space time began to collapse,

forming a dense singularity... where nothing but radiation escapes the event horizon

150NZD to save a life

 I got saman by the NZ police today.

Calm and nice guy

just before the road to Murphy's bush

sigh..

didn't ware seat belt, and i was leaning over to chit chat

should have just slept in the car,

should have just wore a seat belt

why am i worried that this will be considered a crime?

would it affect my immigration extension application..

you know that they couldn't process mine smoothly because there was a missing tick box on section E1... if i committed any offense? including driving offences...

i  couldn't even watch my TBN JOnah movie finished..

loaded it on monday 24th. (it was airing free on 21-23 weekend).. its the 28th today.. tried continuing it.. didn't work.. only manage to get in 40 plus minutes..

anyways...

if there was a car crash.. and a life was lost...

150NZD could never buy that back...

no amount of money can buy back a life that's wasted

God..... am i running away from nineveh

corona n anchanged future

Wuhan corona virus was released so that autonomous technology uptake would be faster. World is controlled by few very powerful people.

If satan cant destroy you, 

He'll distract you. 

Media access and tech is rapidly changing. Too fast for human brain to keep up with.

We live in an era where we're 

"Information rich, time poor."

Choose what we wanna spend time on. 

Prioritise, focus. 

time in nature

What is the NOW?

What does time mean to nature & the natural world? 

missing and found

Thank you Lord.

Pam's blue chiller bag with passport, phone, anz card, sistema id card was missing... 

Now its found. Hallelujah. 

siblings

Tai kor is a philosopher,

Yee kor is a theologian, 

Jie jie's empathetic, 

Me... I'm just the youngest... 

Kristol's neo-conservative:

a liberal who has been mugged by reality.

How does one related to a person hurting in feelings. While still being right? 

Being right. 

Sometimes being wrong is the right thing? 

No... World doesn't need more sinners. 

Romans. 

What is dying to self? 

What is denying ones self..

What is.. Giving up for the sake of receiving. 

What to be right about 

What to be choose to be wrong about? 

Is pleasing people more important? 

Please God first.. Then others. Or my self first. Love oneself first to love others (as we love ourselves..) 

Do i love myself? 

Do i love others? 

What would i do if i loved others? 

Listen to them.. 

Empathise. 

People are hurting

Thats the truth. 

The want to be heard

Want to be found

Want to be loved. 

So.... To be neutral, 

.... 

To be wise

Mature.. 

Hmmm

song regrets

i heard a wonderful song at work today,
but didn't manage to catch what the name of this song was..

it'll forever haunt me until i hear it again i guess

pot, fruit, pancake

A pot to cook food in

Fruits that provide vitamins 

Pancakes for breakfast at Prince Albert's, Nelson. 

warm, boots, cash for fuel

Reading the clergyman's daughter.

I'm thankful that we have enough money to buy fuel. 

That we had enough fuel to reach milford sound. 

That there was petrol at milford sound.

That i can sleep in a warm llace 

That I've got food shoes

import photos vs copy and paste

So i tried copying/cutting files (pictures and videos) from my phone (huawei mate9) , camera (gopro hero 8), and sd card (strontium microsd-usb reader).

The large files always have errors. Especially with the videos. Made a major mistake by selecting cut instead of copy for the videos, a catastrophic error occured and the videos are gone from the source (phone) while not being copied into my hard drive.

I downloaded a program to help with the errors: tera copy. Helps by dragging the videos one by one and queing them up instead of one whole big bunch. 

Also... The import photos/videos function would work great. Somehow or another the Windows program runs differently from the normal copy and paste explorer function... 

Gonna start using that more often now. 

Still windos 7. Yea! 

namaste shalom

judges 6:24
And Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and named it Yahweh-Shalom (which means “the Lord is peace”).

instead of chanting namaste1 at the end of a yoga or meditation session,
chant "shalom" which means peace in hebrew...

wait what?
chating? do christians do that? isn't that an eastern buddhist monk thing
is there any harm in doing meditation..

hmm

whatever helps to consolidate focus,
bring together a wholeness of the mind,
the fragmented parts of memory,
that brings peace.

shalom

1. btw namaste should mean namaskar: a traditional respectful greeting to a teacher by putting the hands together infront of the chest and bowing the head..
but nowadays in the age of "spirituality" it has the connotation of sepnding out peace vibes to the universe in hopes of getting something back

Orbit Protect Working Holiday Insurance

Just signed up for orbit protect insurance
When i was coming here from Malaysia i was looking for insurance that would cover Working Holiday Visa (WHV). but, there isn't any that when you googled would specifically say that it's fro WHV.

So i just got a AXA "smart traveller annual - gold" that covers NZ. it was abt RM175 bucks
BUT their FAQ states specifically that they DONT cover WHV... zz

https://digital.axa.com.my/travel-insurance-malaysia/faqs/general-travel-insurance
Can I buy travel annual plan for working holiday in New Zealand or Australia?
Travel insurance is designed for travellers who travel for leisure or business only. Working holiday is not considered as a leisure or a business trip.

so yeah..
but i just kept the policy lah, incase .. you know.. need to use it next time.
it's an annual thing anyway

sooooo...
i've been here in NZ for abt 3 months now.
survived the COViD19 lockdown wohoo!
(was working in a factory, it was considered an essential industry)

so yeah...
my whatsapp chat group talked abt getting an insurance,
so there was this one mentioned: Orbit Protect.

but i didn't think abt if for some time
until today... i searched online .. AA insurance etc.. so many out there lah.. so confusing sometimes.
but Orbit.. man.. they are good.. straightforward to the point....

says there right on their front homepage: Working Holiday Insurance

checked out their premiums.. good leh..
and once working here in NZ for a few weeks.. its affordable lah
So yeah.

Got insurance now =)
wohoo!

made to walk

"you're meant to just walk" - Geoff Chapple, founder of Te Araroa

Q: Or maybe it's more simple than that. I once asked an inveterate walker why he did it and the answer was:
A: 'because I'm here, and not there'

soul rest

There is only one true source of soul rest,

And that is God

grounding insole

Watching a documentary abt grounding

https://youtu.be/44ddtR0XDVU 

How going bare foot on earth is good. 

I used to run around alot bare foot, especially during frisbee on the grass! 

Loved it. 

But now i love shoes, 

Doc marts, boots, tennis shoes, zero raise shoes, barefoot shoes, vibrams, luna sandals, asadi slippers and adidas kampung... You name it

Hence... 

How to be grounded while still wearing shoes? An insole (in contact with the foot) made of conductivite material that has a wire running out to the bottom of the shoe sole in contact with the ground. 

The plate at the bottom is not hard as a nail as to make clacking sounds when walking such as thumbtacks in marching boots, but instead made of a soft conductive gel composite of metals and uhh.. Gel. 

Haha. One day maybe. 

on wareables

so i got a huawei band 4 pro and band 4 e

i also have a mate 9,  with huawei's health app installed.

i know they're taking a heck tonne of information from me.

and they are probably tracking me everywhere i go too with the GPS.

listening in onto everthing i say though the always on microphone,

watching me with the camera, that faces both forwards and back

as well as camera's from other phones..

this is it.. this is the state of surveillance that.. destopian stories talk about

but see, it doesn't have to be enforeced upon us... 

we willing accept it,

i willing buy and pay for it,

i willingly put it on my arm

cause in my mind, 

i'm sold out to it,

the advertising worked.

it made me think that this was something i "NEEDED"

well.. technology is only as helpful so far as it doen't master us.

cheerios

predicting what is going to be read next

funny isn't it,

how when we reaad things, somethings. sometimes we can predict what is going to be said next in the line. as if, we've read it before, there's some conception of what's coming next, a foresight, an image.

the more knowledge one has stored up in the brain, the more things seem to repeat themselves, the more things seem to be related and connected like branches to a tree trunk. the more information, the more guesses and predictions can be made, and these calculations happen so instanteneously.

i think that's why music is so nice, we sorta can know what's in the next line, what melody it'll be, and the beat helps alot too. (unless we dont know the song!) xP

too much information nowadays float around without having any proper anchor points in the mind.

and still, always be open to the unexpected happening.

precious difference

"the difference is precious"

Dear God

Thank you for coming as a light into my life, to guide me and to shine the way. May You reveal things in mylife that need to be touched & changed by you. Lord, you were here since the beginning & You are there in the future. Sometimes i worry about what is going to happen. But please let me have peace knowing you are the Light & you will provide all that I need, not more, not less, but just what you'd want me to have that would keep me relient to you. That I may know it is not things i should desire for, you You.

Your Word is always true. Everything you said, all the promises you made. If there was anything in this world that I should put my trust in, let it be You and your words. May it not just be memorised scriptures in my head, but help me to live it out in my daily life, to embodie it, to  be empowered by it, to find assurance, peace, guidance, rest, fullfilment, joy, love, teachings, rebuke, warnings, rewards, my portion. all that is enough for me.

Let it be in you that I find my satisfaction in life, my given purpose, my meaning.
Let my dailty thoughts be shaped by You, when I rise: Your the first thoguht on my mind,
when i lay my head down to sleep: Your the one I talk to to thank you.
That the questions i ask not just others but also myself... are influenced by You
My intentions of the day,
turn myself from me to you

"Self-righteousness has nothing righteousabout it, is is just being selfish"

Let me not miss out on who you are.