random stff after coming back

the forest caught fire due to the long drought season,
the next morning it was 'snowing' ashes..

my sony micro vault click DIED! it just got really hot and started going crazy... sigh.. there goes 40 bucks.. worst thing is that i bought it at a PC fair! so i dont really know where the shop is to go back to and ask for warranty, if it even has one.

Lesson learnt: but tech from a shop, with warranty, and know that there are tonnnes of imitation crap out there from china =l
my phone's transcend memory card also went crazy =( it just.. lost it its mind and became greek letters. wasnt the problem with the mem card though, googled it online and found out it was a general problem with blackberry's torch 9810. cant wait to get an andriod phone = )

and i swapped the acer travelmate with my sis for her aspire v3-471G cause it has a graphics card.. but!... the the bluetooth is so problematic!

wohoo.. so bro got married on the 26th april 2014.
when i came back to sabah, he passed me.. well.. i asked him to for some stuff,
like new elixir stings, a tuner
also brought back a gps from wei aun, and...  a joystick =l i dont think i even have time to play games. sigh

there was a safety campaign going on in UMS, they were selling Bolle safety glasses, just in time since my old one broke. these are RM 18 and RM 20 respectively.. they are practically .. indestructible =D like seriously, then can bend like crazy with out breaking. sadly they are not Polaroid.

home

i never really knew what home meant,
until i came back from missing it.

brainless stuff

Archbishop William Temple:

“Your religion is what you do with your solitude.”

this was said like.. a billion years ago.. how come i never heard it before? =P

thanks weiaun for sharing with me this website.. now at least there something good to listen to when i'm doing brainless stuff

http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/adoration-hallowed-be-thy-name

"petition is how you look at the world
confession is how you look at yourself" - Dr. Timothy Keller, 1995

oO

"Quite time is not fitting God into one small slot of the day
it is devoting the whole day to God, centering it around Him."

my dream

A: "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?"

B: "i would fly a jet plane and fire missiles"

mmhm- i think i'm too inspired by calvin's velocireptor jet-fighter =D

5 songs for Good Friday

Easter day song's in Westly Methodist church, .. eh wait.. Good friday.. not Easter.

How Great Thou Art (UMH 77)
When I survey the Wondrous Cross,
Worthy is the Lamb
At the Cross
The Rugged Cross (UMH504)

gosh the lyrics of these songs.... so gnam for the day.

the more i come to know about Christianity,
the more i see that God is Sovereign,
it is no long er by my works and efforts that Salvation has come.

it was, is and always will be... by grace
i better not forget the 'through faith' part.

i.. nailed my Savior to the Cross on Good Firday
it was my sins.

He asked the Father to forgive me,
saying that i didn't know what i was doing.

when i was deliberately standing in the crowd,
mocking Him, whenever i continue to dwell in sin.. i'm mocking my King.

i was the one shouting "crucify Him!"
and yet in love, He chose the Cross,
so that even as i hang there like a criminal beside Him,
not having much time left on this earth,
having a whole lotta sins and wrong doings in the past,

i can yet have assurance that Paradise awaits those who believe in faith.
faith that grace was all and the only way we could have ever been saved.

and in this grace, God... the challenges to show it to others will come,
grant me remembrance of how you've forgiven me, so i can forgive others.

i know and understand,
i'm undeserving and unworthy

yet it is You who Justifies me,
Sanctifies me,
changes me from the inside out,
that i may be more and more like Christ each passing day.

wash away my iniquities,
with the Precious Blood You shed today,
as you hung on the Cross at Calvary

no matter if i slowly start changing from an Armenian to Calvinist,
yet the Helmet of Salvation shall i always ware,
that no matter who we are or what we do, God is watching over us,
and as long as i come to him, in my disease, He shall heal.

By His stripes i am healed

what God would do all this for His creation,
only a God of love,
and if there was a time for me to doubt God,
i know will know that Love never fails,
His Love

on Good Friday,
Love died for me.

i cant wait for Easter to come,
where Love comes back to life and lives forevermore,

my God's not dead, He's surely alive.

but i really wonder what He did in the time between Good Friday and Easter.
hmmm

1 book voucher, 300bucks worth

so yeah i... kinda splunked 4 of the vouchers on .. the stuff in the previous post,
with only one left, and not wishing to hold on to it any longer,
the harris/popular sale held in 1B was like an answered prayer...

so i was walking around, supposedly going to buy hangers because the friends house where i do my aundry (because they have washing machine) ... erm.. doesnt have enough hangers =P

and as i was walking around the sale, i some books caught my eye,

but see, the thing is, i didn't bring my vouchers.. errr.. voucher.. down! so i asked the cashier girl to keep them from.. for.. me =) how nice of her

you know what, i like to d my reaserch before i purchase something, some of the book stores were giving out extra stuff if u used ALL your vouchers there, but like i said in a previous post, heck it, i'm just gonna use it and forget about it... i dont want to hold on to it any more and let it linger on my mind.

so got the vouchers and went back down to walk around again
then my eyes caught other books!!!! gosh how i wish i had all RM250 of vouchers now!!!
each of the stacks bellow are worth RM50-ish... some books were up to 90+% off!!

 so the first pile was books of classic stories, yeah i know u can get the e-book pdf version for free online because the copywrights old or seomthing like that.. but still.. its different from holding a physicaly book in your hands and flipping the pages.

 second pile was on managing, economics, buisness stuff... so why suddenly out of the blue? well because i realize that i have zero, .. like utter fail in entrepreneurship or anything to do with money. why so? i dunno.. maybe because i was how i was brought up, my family. my father who.. supplies us well with... love. haha. but i know i cant 'trust God' to pour money into my pocket while i sit around idling .. so yeahh.. really need to buck up on this area in life..

ah third stack.. actualy this isnt the third, this was the very first intial stack that cought my eyes. why these books? from the top 1. i want to read a biography, havent read any before =P 2. its a little blue book! i like things that should 'summary of all the best things' so that i dont have to go thorugh all the 'bulking meaningless junk' .. its like someone already filtered out whats best in the field and done the hard work reaserching it =) 3. how to land your dream job, seriously, this is a POV from a normal daily life with out a God. i always wondered what people do if they dont live for a transcendent cause. i junked the book anyway, no point reading something of lower grade when one has already got the best Guide Book in the universe xD 4. management, i've always been an introvert. hah! going to camps and school organization stuff, i wondered what makes a leader a leader, what makes other people want to follow, what is delegation, how should we live out life in dealings with others? ... there are so many self help books out there, nvr really read much of them.... anyone can read them right? but .. whats the point of having half truths that seem to be taken from a better source. anyways, humans learn and they always will, because ..err.. they're God's creations? . i want to learn from others. 5th book: google. how the algorithm of a giant search engine shall unite the world. wohoo, goes back the the one world order thing, i think i've written about that before. anyways, i junked the book too, cause.. it was really old.. like .5-6 years or something like that... nows 2014 bro!

then again, many things written in books of the past dont come to pass until much later =P its like the autors could predict what the future is, and the common average joe who doesn't read books, only thinks its something new when it comes out on the market. something like.. issac assimov books =)

so yup yup this final stack is the 5 books i purchased. plane and simple from the top: 1. OSCAR WILDE! i loooooveeeeee this story, though i read a small tiny book that was ment for primary school kids in england. i stil remember, the rose, the price (start child), some mermaid soul thingy, golden leaves and a bird, a giant.. good stuff... and when i read that this was sorta the on novel written by him, i just HAD to get it.... pride and prejudice can wait =P 2. inside drunke's brain: btw, i have no idea who he is, never read his name until today. owh well, lets just try a new book for fun. 3. mangement gurus: wohoo, a summary book! 4. hacking work: in the recent times, i'm slowly finding out what the true and deeper meaning of "rules are meant to be broken" line is all about. even malaysia's education system is full of indoctrination, so is its workplaces i bet! gonna break free! =P not everything we've been thought is the truth. 5. freefall: so i basically got this book because it said Noble Prize winner and Economics. i know nuts about Economics, yet its such a big part of the world aye? kla, i think this is a good place to start. haha simply wan

so yup yup this was what i spent my 1 voucher on. bet its gonna take my 4 years to finish reading em' =P

what did you spend your vouchers on?

a good pillow, lets one think much

the internet
-is so full of crap, there's wayy to many things to read nowadays,
-especially facebook, its doing more harm than good, wasting my time
-yeah my bad, no self control, cant stop checking the news feeds
-thank God i dont have twitter, instagram or other social sucking soul stealing scheme.

-the good of internet? so many people can write good stuff nowadays,
-one in a while i come across a good meaningful wall post on FB,
-almost if the guy complied all the wrote, he could make a book and publish it.
-i want to do that =)
-but so many times, meaningful things get washed away into the annals of time,
-archived into the internet's cloud memory of a billion terabytes and still expanding ever infinitely

-man has their own responsibility of education in their hands,
-especially after he gets a laptop,
-its a window the the cloud, the information, truths and lies that float in it.
-cant be blamed if we are naive

-with great opportunities, come greater risk of losing everything.

the eyes are the window to our soul indeed.
-i watched a horror movie, occulus with a friend.
-the ticket was bought without my consent, so i was 'obliged' to go
-i dont normally watch horror movies, i turn them down whenever i can
- so after such a long time of not being 'exposed' to it, my horror sense is extremely vulnerable
-gosh, now when i close my eyse to pray i imagine a lady in white robes and glowing eyes.
-evil spirit in the name of Jesus, leave me alone!
-well that worked =)
-the Blood that cover's us FTW
-careful what you watch, watch porn = lustful thoughts = pimples.
-learnt about chemical chain reaction today, haha

gays and coffee
-i drank coffee just now
-it works, i cant sleep.. and i have a gaharu workshop tomorrow
-i lay on my bed, mind wide awake, but the caffeine stimulating the synapses.
-i miss diagnose it as.. insomnia.. well sorta self induced.
-the there is an over stimulation of something, the precious things get desensitized
-so we go out on a journey to find something that will give us a new 'hype'
-thus, distorted sexual orientation like.. being gay =P

really bad stupid theory.

write a book on "a good pillow"
-how it chirstianity is like a very.. comforting thing to have.
-imaging sleeping every night without a pillow
-life without Christ is like that
-btw i just got a memory foam pillow =) a friend had popular voucers, didn't know what to get...
-i now think that a good pillow is vital to life on earth
-cant wait to go to sleep now adays.
-and good sleep i get indeed!

write a sci-fiction book about
-a dystopian cyberpunk world
-a uthopian nature orientated world
-both of the same planet, each taking half the equator
-separated by a band of neutral steampunk land
-a boy from the technological side crosses to play in the river,
-and meets a new friend who dresses in leaves.

-sorta inspired by
-tripping the rift: the boarder
-world of warcraft: tree loving elves =) and armor forging drenei
-matrix: cyberpunk-ish, anything gadget-ie
-.... sigh.... write a book? get real....
-shall place this on my 'things to do list'

i want to kneel by my bedside and pray,
-my heart was so hard,
-asked God to soften it..
-lo and behold, the moment i thought of "comfort and peace", tears streamed down.
-for that is what i've received, and that is what i must share.

there are just so many, too many things to share about to pray about

i imagine i was holding someone's hand, i couldn't see who i was as i trailed along from behind. then at the end of the road it turned around and stared at me, it hard the face of a skull. i had been holding Death's hand all along the way, and i never knew it. my will was whatever he led me too. i was bounded but happily followed.

then Easter day happened Christ took my hand, and now he leads me, He doesnt hide His face, but always turns to look at me, so that i know who i'm following. As i close my eyes tonight, i reach out my hand to take hold of His. Some say it's His hand that holds on to us no matter what, but i would like to think, that even a grown man, can have to joy of holding on to Him. Just like a child holding on to his Father.

i was crawling, weakened, defeated. but Christ reached out His hand, and as i grabbed it, i felt strength return to me, pulsing through my whole body. i got back up on my feet, and started to walk back on the narrow parth.

-gotta paint a picture of it one day =)

secular atheism

atheist are materialistic. everything in view is nothing but plain physical matter: there is no spiritual dimension. Because there is no God.

they exisit in two kinds, Marxists who are philosophical, theoretical and Westerners: unthinking, practical.

everythin therefore is based on experience. its the main and only ultimate teacher in life. and the relativism creeps in. anything goes, whats true for you so be it.

therefor: atheist cannot argue against people who believe in God. it would just automatically go against what what claim to believe in. That what is true for you, HAS to be true for me, in terms of viewing it from your eyes.

accepting without believing, is only possible when you know there is only one truth.

there is a dissociation in believing something that is not the truth, and why cant you see so clearly this is it.

too many times the Gospels have been quoted, but this is the original reference Isiah 6:8-10

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!" He said, "Go, and tell this people: 'Keep on listening, but do not perceive; Keep on looking, but do not understand.' "Render the hearts of this people insensitive, Their ears dull, And their eyes dim, Otherwise they might see with their eyes, Hear with their ears, Understand with their hearts, And return and be healed.""

viewed in context, i always pray and hope that we are called by God. that he chooses us first, so that we can choose Him as he enables us, through grace.

regenerate us, Lord.

humility

pride repels grace

it does.

humilty is this: when we have the right to something, but we dont take it.
when we are ABEL, but dont USE it.

hard-stuff

i thank God in all his riches and glory, for providing me all and more than i need and ever will.
it was a blessed field trip, when it started with prayer.

thank God for fellow chirstians, that share and commune in fellowship.

"Let us not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10:25

my mom's name

grace is an amazing thing.
the more i think about it the more i realize i didn't know what i meant

so many times i've heard:
from church:
1. its receiving a gift or something i don't deserve
(and mercy is not receiving the punishment we deserve)
2. it is already given, but if we dont accept it, its goodness cant be applied in out life
(universalize salvation - arministic)
3. God chooses and predestines who he wants to show grace to
(in the sense that we couldn't choose grace even if we wanted to - calvinistic)

Eph 2:8 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God"

from merriam-webster:
a :  unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
b :  a virtue coming from God
c :  a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

but as i walk on in life, i realize that.. grace is probably the second most beautiful thing after Love.
love that never fails.

 come to think of it, grace solves so much problems in life. it brings peace when the tables aren't even. it brings joy in suffering. it brings light in times of dirty darkness.

grace what have you done. that Your very existence has forced me to change my life. to view my life so differently... if i never knew what grace was, i would be innocent of doing the things i do in the flesh. but ever since i came to know you, i cannot just live my life as i have been doing in the past. i cannot live in denial and oblivious to the fact that grace is meant to bring change.

and yet i realize that i do no know who you are.
just like i never know how my bride would be at 80,
yet its the journey i'm willing to take but committing my life to you.

grace what have you done?
murdered for me on that Cross.
Accused in absence of wrong
my sin washed away in your Blood.

teach me, Master, what you meant by grace.
how can one show grace if the opportunity does not pop up?
and boy when it does.. it isn't a nice thing to experience..

Jesus had to shed blood and get nailed to a cross to show it,
how far would you go, dear heart...
how much can you endure dear body...
how long would you walk, dear legs
how dirty would you get, dear hands

as far as grace enables me to.

go get prepare.

why bother to stand up for apologetics?
i think all people who believe in their faith should atleast know how to talk about it
as a kid we can reason as a kid, but as time passes, we do grow up, and so must our 'spirit man'

without giving food to the soul, it'll starve, shrink and wither.
feed it bread, good solid food: the Word, consume it digest it. stay hungry for it, daily
water it so that its not parched and dry: Praise, Worship with music, a lifestyle, every waking moment and breath
see the fruits: witnessing, good works, small works, unnoticed deeds, gifts like tongues. it edifies

be edified. life is a race. there are people on the sidelines to cheer you on. morale support.
its also a mind over matter thing, make a conscious decision move those legs and hands,
run. pray, kneel down, speak.. as the Holy Spirit enables

the is never a Christian who isn't ready to do God's work,
each and every small task IS preparation.
for the greater things to come, do the small things

Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

MOVE ON. dont be dishonest about your faith that was given at the cost of Jesus sacrifice.

atleast read a book =)

truthfully, i dont need to tell you the truth

to tell you the truth,
people who dont or cant appreciate the truth,
dont deserve it.

that being said, one doesn't need to tell the truth all the time to everyone,
cause they just  wont cherish it

---------------------------------------------------------
what a world way of thinking,
yeah ofcause people keep secrets and dont blurt out every single scheme and plan
thats the whole purpose of staying mysterious, top of the game, one in a million different.

but seriously, not telling why one actually does something to be.. manipulative?

now thats a really wrong posture of heart to have.
i heard there was a wise quote 'dont throw your pearls to pigs'
cause seriously, how can they see and value in something so precious?

but that being said, the truth will set you free,
without lying there's no need to be afraid of being exposed,
with out hiding anything in the dark, one can walk in the broad day light,
without always watching the back, one can face foward and walk on...

share the truth, love others. because God loves you.

yes i had to put that in, i fear that sometimes i should be worldly politically democratically correct,
please the masses and push aside the minors... but i just cant,
my God is just too too too big, huge! magnanimous..

my very actions, words, movements, goals, aims, passion, life..|
each breath i breath, let it be for God

april's fool - i feel like dying

fun ..er.. not-so-fun fact, i had a granduncle that died on April's fool,
i'm sure people thought it was a joke... and kidded that death shouldn't be something to be made fun of

well he did actually die..

i guess that one can still make people laugh by dying =P
-----------------------------------------------------------------
heh heh so basically that's like a post to put on FB wall and make people think one is.. suicidal
seriously? if i wanted to kill myself i would just do it, why would anyone tell the world what they are going to do and give others a chance to thwart the plan.

i think people who post depressed emo things on their walls are just seeking attention,
like if you really needed help you would call your best friend and talk to them in PRIVET

gosh.. so i tried to be 'emo' and post stuff that .. would make people automatically assume something is wrong... (like seriously, why are Christian's still depressed??)

and what i found out was.. people actually  do care! genuinely..
but i as the 'victim' was .. eagerly waiting for people to reply.. i was selfish and WAITING for replies..

i taught i wanted to die, not talk to people.

haha... so it was quite a fun trial to run. standing on the other side and see-ing things from a pseudo-depression POV

had some really really really good people come and bring up conversations...

and when they stop replying, and cease to play the game, it gets boring...
and i just decided to stop playing too...

it helps to not 'layan' this kinda emotional-baby-fits of childishness

happy apirl's fool btw
-----------------------------------------------------------------
GOSH! that is really really really bad! some people who actually do SUFFER from depression, like medically confirmed, pill-popping and seeing a specialist

what i know is.. Love never fails..

in a time where one actually wants to kill themselves ... it really works to have someone to talk to, someone to be beside them and know they can yum-cha with

mhmm rebuking doesn't work sometimes i guess.. like "grow up!" .. it just makes a person even.. sadder.. to know that they cant buck up to what people expect them to be
---------------------------------------------------------------

so yeah. remember LOVE NEVER FAILS!
i feel so bad.. so so so bad of making a mockery out of this..
as if.... this wasn't a real problem...

sigh, when will i stop playing this games,
and finally grow up..
get mature and be dull and grey

hmm.. probably never... =)

powerbank =D yea

okay so i was looking around for a powerbank because my mifi (portable wifi thingy) keeps dying.
and knowing how i like to do research about something before i buy it, especially tech stuff,
using lelong.my, amazon and other online web review sites i find a great fault and flaw in my life

i waste too much time comparing

so it waas a battle between Utoo's S5 with 10000mAH and Romoss sailing 5 with 13000mAh
one goes for RM185 and the other at 190...i can use the vouchers of one and not the other.

and.. online they sell for 50 bucks cheaper... =( sigh

so anyways a life lesson learnt:

stop doing so much research and just buy it!
dont waste time! btw i just purchased avira pro for RM28 too =D
now it runs. silently =P

sigh.. such a waste of money.. owh well... now atleast i've satisfied my craving for a good power bank =)

missing

in a country with one child policy
each and every person in the family is precious,
especially if all the hopes rest on one person continuing the linage

grieve

well its the biggest deployment of naval ships, helicopters and submarines
outside of their own waters.

as ender's game puts it...
the time of chaos is the best time to change the world

not to be skeptical, but everything's possible no?

sacrifice of a few = a great deed to the many

wow, now thats just plain evil to even think about, sorry for that.
things just dont go missing like that

as much i would liek to think about it,
finally the whole world is using their war vehicles for a greater good
for the peace and comfort of all man around the globe
that atleast we can have some hope, knowing they are trying their best to help

or are they?

just enough

thank you Father for not giving me less than i need nor more than i can handle for the moment.

it teaches me that i need to be responsible for the small amount you've entrusted to me,
without making me need to live in poverty or a hard life.

it teaches me that i have a reliable source of providence,
but one that i should not and do not need to take advantage off.

it makes me peaceful and calm, to know i am safe,
yet not too much that i'll be wasting riches away..

--- dont jump straight to the top, learn to serve from the bottom ---

Prodigal son got too much cash in one go, didn't know how to use it wisely,
be faithful in the small matters
if an earthly father knows how to give good gifts to his children, how much more our Father in heaven

fight fight fight!

"The battle is won by not putting yourself in that position" -theresurgence

"truth doesn't change, Truth applied does" - Ps. Phillip

so the batle is to... take God's Word seriously... again?
well its a constant fight every day =)

read 'a short history of...' and you'll learn a whole lotta stuff

so the early church suffered much persecution under the early roman empire before Constantine,
we should appreciate that their test of faith was so intense for it spread fourth the Gospel to much further lands and proved its reality of Christ to help us in times of desperation
1) "Educated men had become followers of Christ and were willing to confess his name openly. They stregthed the faith of the simpler Christians and helped them to answer their critics and persecutores. Not least, the enabled us in our day to understand what the church of another time endured, to appreciate freedom of religion where we have it, and to learn that sufering for Christ's sake is not a new thing in this world" - pg 52 on Persecution in the Empire

Thank God we dont face that hard a persecution now to believe in something
the world is moving to a more 'liberal i dont care'.. thus the grave danger ahead is not 'what religion you hold?' but 'do you hold any believe in God at all?' ... and also false teaching within a church is more likely to be destructive than outside influences.. thats why interpreting the Bible cannot be done simply

the advancement of technology and a flood of ridiculous information has brought this upon us... there is wayy to much things to read, so be selective... find out what you want to focus on in life and read the articles and journals that matter

2) an unhealthy desire for martyrdom, Hermas' Shepard teaching on baptism and how it removes sins, an improper emphasis on good works, wrong allegories "In making these criticisms of the Apostolic Fathers, it is necessary to remember something that is easily forgotten. They stood at the beginning of the histor of the church and therefore at the beginning of theological thought. they did not stand where we stand today, with the help of nineteen centuries of reflection on God's Word" -pg 35

the early church developed sound doctrine and theological truths that weren't existing in the starting years after Christ ascension... stuff about who Jesus was, what the Trinity is, defenses against false doctrine

appreciate what was laid out in the foundations and beginnings... though we might not know everything that our ansestors had to put up with, they did most of the hard work in making sure we got the right stuff in this age... no longer do we need to be ambiguous, or work hard to set the foundations again (for it has already been done by them)... instead, we can focus our efforts and energies onto greater task ahead, building on the existing structures set up... on the most solid foundation ever available, Christ the solid Rock

3) "the multiplication of holy days, the veneration of the saints, martyrs, and relics, and the value attached to the pilgrimages and the holy places often pushed truly spiritual concerns into the background" -pg 142

is going to church what i seek for? is the amount of time that i spend in the 'house of God' a measure of my holiness... what does it mean to seek first His Kingdom... is it to do more ministries, go for more mission trips... make or obtain more 'Holy Relics' like flags, banners, wood chips of the Cross, pieces, and body parts of saints? ... sigh..

when will we stop chasing the signs and instead chase God
its the relationship with Him that matters

4) "the grace of God is irresistible in those who are predestined to eternal life; it is not given to those who are predestined to eternal life" - pg162

mhmm.. i still think predestination is in parallel with our choice.. we ain't robots

others to note "Man has been created that he lives his life in certain regular patterns that are constantly repeated. These patterns may be called cycles."

ascetic monastic life? .. i wonder when people will start doing that again

"Origen saw the same God at work in nature and in redemption and tried to relate both to the revelation of God in Christ" - pg 94

can you see it?

mandatory attendance

did you know we are FORCED to attend all lectures and hand up all assignments

least we get an E?

why have such strong rules and laws if you are not scared

do you think the number of students coming to classes would decrease if there was no rule like this?

should the drive to be at the class come out of interest in the subject, hunger for knowledge and a keen lecturer who knows how to teach?

if you took away the law,

how many people would still go to class

do you want the true numbers? i dont think so

this education system as messed us up, it forces knowledge into a mind that doesn't want it

it constricts it by placing walls of what you should do and what you cant do

its not about the extra reading material,

its about the marking scheme, whats going to come out for the finals

they're scared, they think its for the good of the students that this laws are enacted,

they think they're wise... in their own eyes.. they think we are like sheep that need to be stuffed with grass for us to eat..

just heard us to the pastures, we'll see the fresh green grass and eat of its goodness by ourselves.. don't stuff hay into our face

so much push factors.. so little pull

students should eagerly desire to come for classes by their own free will

they should want inside their heart and mind to learn from the experience of wise men

we should see the beauty in the colonnade, arches and forum architectures and stand in awe of the beauty and meanings behind the construction of this structures

when will we ever find a Lyceum in this university

no wonder my friend told me to look further than this places,

if they cant be changed, why stay, if they cant grow up, why tolerate

i believe that there is work to be done here

i believe that there is a purpose

that there are people who are loved and who need love

stay.. hungry..

work around the rules and boundaries

respect authority, even in all its ridiculousness

it has been set above me for a reason,

if there was nothing to oppose

how would we know what striving for something would feel like

if there was nothing to stand up for

how would strength and courage have any definition

if there was just bliss in life,

how would we learn to enjoy times of peace

if there was no war to fight,

how would we taste victory

denda denda denda

ASSALAMUALAIKUM W.B.T, SALAM SEJAHTERA, SALAM 1 UMS
ECO CAMPUS, SALAM 1 MALAYSIA

:: MAKLUMAN PENTING::

PERHATIAN KEPADA SEMUA MAHASISWA UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA SABAH, ANDA DIKEHENDAKI UNTUK MEMATUHI PERATURAN ETIKA PEMAKAIAN YANG DITETAPKAN DALAM UNIVERSITI MALAYSIA SABAH BERLANDASKAN AKTA UNIVERSITI DAN KOLEJ UNIVERSITI (AUKU). PENGUATKUASAAN ETIKA INI AKAN BERKUATKUASA BERMULA 24 FEBRUARI 2014 (ISNIN). OLEH YANG DEMIKIAN SISTEM SAMAN AKAN DIKENAKAN KEPADA PELAJAR YANG TIDAK MEMATUHI PERATURAN YANG DITETAPKAN SEMASA BERADA DALAM KULIAH ATAU KOLEJ KEDIAMAN. ETIKA PEMAKAIAN YANG DITETAPKAN PERLULAH BERDASARKAN BUKU PANDUAN PELAJAR YANG DIBERIKAN SEMASA MULA MENDAFTAR DI UNIVERSITI.


wassalmulai kum ... peace bro..

i love how rational and smart this is.. i totally feel like a university student... it is so safe to leave my bicycle outside... i totally think it is wrong to wear slippers, i should have worn shoes to climb mount kinabalu... who cares if my clothes get wet in the rain, i'll just wear them wet... because there isn't any basic necessity like a laundry service here... the canteen food is so delicious, i dont understand how 20 year olds would want to cook in their room and risk setting the whole block on fire.. how immature of them...

and another thing about denda.. money definitely makes the world go round... they say they dont want the money and its just about 'teaching a lesson' ... and i wonder how MPPM exco gets to go to DUBAI for FREE... i rather be canned in public...

seriously... then give money to your selfish funds.. why make life so hard for students! we just want to live and enjoy life! everything is about rules these days.. about how to EXPLOIT us to get MORE money for YOURSELF...

sigh.. sorry.. ranting

canning in public is a better opetion... it teaches a stronger lesson... it causes real SHAME.. to those who deserve it... what does denda's do? they just teach that you can get anyway with anything as long as you have money.. and both parties are happy

in canning... the accuser gets nothing.... only respect...
the accuser doesnt get tainted ugly money to use for indulging in world pleasures
instead the accuser upholds a higher responsibility.. it isn't easy to rebuke someone for their sake and not one's own self..

would you scold me, and get nothing?

or

would you scold me, and get money?

why bother if you think you're not going to get anything.. why rebuke... why bother care.... why even spend effort to LOVE

proverbs 13:24
"Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
    but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."

you think it is so easy to cane someone?
it hurts the accuser as much as the victim

(bad choice of words)
it huts the lover as much as the beloved

"a father who loves would cane his child even if it hurts to see the tears, but knowing what it'll produce in the future if he did or did not, that is where love must stay strong in the storms"

they dont care if i learn a lesson, they just want money

they dont CARE

okay i get the no shorts.. maybe its a religion thing.. i'm trying to be rational

but slippers???? dont you go pray in slippers???

just thinking about it makes me angry.... like a fire burning inside..
i dont want to be prejudice.. but they just make us.... hate...
inoculating hate.... through the system... a though cycle to break..

something only love could do... break down walls

https://www.facebook.com/MPPUMS/posts/608792232534136

authority has been set above us.. we have to succumb and obey
 it is all for a short while... all these hardships.. it shall all soon pass

atleast give me a reason, dont just slap it in my face..
you want us to be more 'moral' and 'beretika' ?

i'm sure there are better ways

please slow me down

when bad things happen, its not always a bad thing..
wait what?

"when there's a black out, thats when u see the starts shine the brightest"
-yeah it may be hot, no electricity to run your aircond or fan... after going up to kk.. u'll love the heat

"when your trekking with a slower pace friend, it gives you great time to stop and enjoy the scenery"
-seriously, it is good to not look only at the road you walk on... but just stop in you tracks.. and look up
you'll see so much more...

as in life.. dont rush through it..

take a breather...
and appreciate the friends that slow you down =P

there are wayy to many things to study in this life,
focus on something and aim towards it
you only have 24 hours a day... and it's important to get enough sleep... least you get eye bags and look like a vampire...

the ability to have one's education in our own hands is indeed a blessing
http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses
http://www.youtube.com/user/UCLACourses

and wohoo! global warming is back in the picture!
http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/18/politics/climate-change-5-things/index.html?hpt=po_c1

this might help if you want to fight against chopping down the forest
http://www.globalissues.org/article/177/nature-and-animal-conservation

mount Kinabalu

so i booked a flight back to KK on the 12th when classes only start on the 17th

not knowing that many things were to fall into God's great plan at that moment,

right now in the present i look back and see His guidance and purpose

on the 12th i flew back, with a fully dismantled mountain bike in a TV box =D

what an interesting experience to bring an oversize luggage across the airport

and the best part was it fitted just nicely in a vios!

after dropping off the my stuff in the room and paying an extra Rm20 for coming back early

my aunt sent me to Crown Borneo to meet up with wei aun, awesome guy

really a good older dude that guided me and asked uncomfortable questions that i'm grateful for

bunked in his room for the night, next morning walked to a 'kampung air' instead of the sandy beach side

played with his GPS, i still cant get a hang of my own... i wonder why some are so fascinated by it, hopefully i'll see what they see in this device

anyways.. ate some awesome beef noodles near luyang area... hmmm i need to mark this points of great food... (maybe thats what the gps is for) ... with Josh Yeoh.. gosh.. he knows people in sabah who i know who know other friends i know... this world is way way too small

so anyways, tried to take a bus back to 1Borneo to walk back to my crib in UMS... so happen to stumble onto the right bus =P that went to Wawasan Terminal (something like Sentral) and the jalan jalan the city and went found the right bus back to 1B .. sigh.. so unused to taking public transport .. first world problem... when i was back in PJ, there was the Avanza, Iswara, Wira, Modenas Jaguh, Wave, Honda 65 Cup.... so many privet modes of transport to choose from... so dependent on a non-scheduled ride... so afraid/lazy to use the fixed routes of buses

anyways.. that night.. packed my stuff into a trusty 70L haversack and a Osprey sling bag... last minute to go mount kinabalu with senior Irene Yieun as a Research Assistant for her FYP... it was a 5 day trip, totally didn't prepare and pack accordingly.. i even thought of bringing a laptop! rediculous junk that i brought: too many shirts, a mosquito net.. (seriously??) and shoes... it is possible to do mount K in slippers

so much for "prius paratus larus"

met up with Apisai the cool rugby Fijian and slept over in his house at UCA... in Abbo's room =D

next morning at 5am, Mila, Nik, Api, Irene and I started our pilot test to mount K.. i bought 5 tickets for a 7am bus... but they got stuck in traffic jam.. but thank God the Tung Ma manager allowed us to change to 8am bus.. for free =D a real blessing

the budget was really really low, less than RM100.... cause she got a permit (1 year!!) and thus we go as researches and not tourist! the bus from Inanam cost RM15... the insurance is around RM37 i think and RM8 for transport up and down from HQ to the timpohon gate.. really cheap if you ask me

so first day.. we ran around getting forms and legal matters done to qualify our stay there... the hike up to layang-layang hut took... 6 hours =P .. for irene and i lah... apisai mange to reach in 3 hours... =P most people go all the way to Laban Rata on the first day..

just after we reached it started to pour.. thank you Lord for holding back the rain

we stayed at Layang2 for 2 nights... giving out questionnaires to hikers going up and down... a researches life is truly relaxing.. i would say 20% work and 80% free/chill time... 

on the third day we hiked up to Laban Rata the base camp before ppl summit... took us 4 hours... Api reached in.. 2? anyways, beautiful view on the way up...

when we reached Burlington hut (the one that scientist and researches stay in) it started to pour..

thank you Lord for holding the rain.. again

but the contion of the place was crap.. seriously.. i think they should provide better living quarters for this group of people.. there were two Ecologist staying with us there.. from the US.. university of Montana.. studying the birds there... heh heh.. and they had a air heater that runs on 110V .... plugged it into the socket .. and fried it... sigh.... stupid

"its wrong to touch other peoples things"

went for a walk from hut to hut in the rain, great fresh air

good thing the yellow fake columbia jacket was dual layered..

it was really fun walking around, without rules

at night

we sneaked in to sutera to makan their buffet dinner.. owh the lamb is so awesome... ate so much of it

talked to the US dudes about stuff, wow they are quite knowledgeable about our political situation

sigh its so sad that in malaysia we dont really care much for our forest, to gazette an area as a national park, it has to contribute economically.. or else chopping down the forest for timber would be so much more reasonable.. and politicians with money just wont bother about saving the nature for the future generations..

the US people said they come from a country who has chopped down their forest and seen the bad effects, thus they want to help us prevent the same future.... but because it is so hard to break the culture of selfishness

at 2am on the 17th.. the guide came in and told us it was still raining... so no summit-ing =( owh well guess 'luck' was not on our side.. will have to come back another time to try.. atleast it wasnt RM1500 bucks burned...

hiked back down on the fourth day and stayed another night... api and nik went back to kk.. we stayed at the Warden's Lodge.. best place! had a really good water heater and a room warmer...

on the fifth day we finished our work and Primus came to pick us up 

..zzzz... so tired.. i wanna go sleep now...

anyways here's a break down of what you'll need if you go kk...

when hiking:

cap

sunglasses

buff

t-shirt

pants

slippers

when sleeping

beanie

jacket

gloves

socks

sleeping bag

others:

toiletries: toothbrush/paste, shampoo, soap, towel

book, pen

water bottle

mesh tin, fork, spoon, chop stick

raincoat

mini day-pack

gadgets:

hand phone

Mifi- maxis broadband

charger

powerbank

yeah i only wore one long cotton pants the whole trip.. zzz.. thank God it dries even in the rain

and yeah dont forget: lots of snacks.. especially chocolate bars and nice stuff to munch on during rest stops.

Let It Go - Frozen

this song, has not just a catchy tune thats fun to sing,
it carries an abstract meaning, that deals with something deep inside our hearts

freedom

basically the song talks very much about how a typical villain would start life

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the Queen"
-the first thing that lets us loose is to be away from people, to be unaccountable, to be alone, where no eyes are there to fall on our actions, where we don't feel any judgement, where we know we can let out our feelings and express whatever we want to

"And when He(Jesus) came out onto the land, He was met by a man(Gerasene demoniac) from the city who was possessed with demons; and who had not put on any clothing for a long time, and was not living in a house, but in the tombs." -Luke 8:27

"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in; Heaven knows I've tried"
-the next step is the connection of an external stimulus that would trigger what we've been suppressing inside us for a long time. be it bitterness, greed, lust, jealousy, anger, unforgiveness... something might just tip us like the straw that finally broke the camel's back. be it a harsh criticism, hate orientated response or even sometimes a rebuke that intentionally was love but somehow took on another form when being expressed due to exhaustion..

thats why its important to always, daily clear off any burden on our shoulders.. for just like snow pilling up on a roof, if uncleared.. will finally get too heavy and break the house down... repent daily, sweep off the hay, chisel off the ice, talk to someone accountable, let it out before it blows you up.

and truly heaven will know you've tried...
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet was without sin." -Hebrews 4:15
"Jesus replied, "What is impossible with man is possible with God."" - Luke 18:27

if trying man's way doesn't work.. try asking a lil help from the Big Guy up there =P

"Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well now they know"
- well this second stanza practically says it all very clearly... especially for church goers =P we always gotta be 'acting' righteous, pure and holy... on sundays, in front of people, when we're on the stage... put on a mask, fake it... be a hypocrite. do something on the outside that i dont believe on the inside

well mentoring and one-on-ones really break this point, because we can share truthfully with one another without being hindered. and by Christ, a righteous life is no longer 'impossible' or a 'chore of obligation' but it automatically comes as a delight and gift as that is what is promised to us... i know there's a great debate on whether God chooses to give it to us and we just receive it by faith, or whether we have to do our part in doing good works to 'show' and 'prove' that we have 'fruits' that would make our faith genuine..

i personally believe this: dont be lazy. take EFFORT to sit a Jesus feet and LISTEN to Him... dont run around doing 'work' for God least He answers He does not know you who claim to have done all you did in His name ..

"any will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ - Matthew 7:22-23

the works will come automatically when you listen to Him first.. trust me

"This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile" - Romans 3:22 <<< suuuper taken out of context some might say

i didn't say it would be a struggle .. but it is possible =D whether it is imparted or imputed ... its still from Jesus.. it IS possible to be a hypocrite (aren't we all with the plank in our eye? =P) .. but it IS also possible to be freed from it, and i personally think you have to choose to hold His hand and walk a path parallel to what He calls you to

well now going back to the song.. still about the 2nd stanza.... DONT conceal it.. DOnT hide it...
feelings are a beautiful thing to have, joy, sadness.. laugh, cry.. its all part of a life's beauty

let some one know, so they dont have to find out the hard way

"Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back any more"
- i love to sing this part, the tune is just beautiful... the lyrics . well.. every single time the common advice is:
"dont give up" .. well.. this line totally goes against everything that that advice fights and strives for..

just give it.. just release.. just 'dont care' anymore .. (well this is totally out of context)..

there are certain things in life worth fighting for, certain righteous stuff that would last for eternity.. work hard for those, eagerly desire them..
there are those things in life that will pass away along with this earth, material wealth, temporary pleasures, fights that have no good end either way, false dichotomy, emotional jails that are locked from the inside... work hard with Christ to let these go

"Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway"
-4th stanza only??? well.. this part made Elsa look like she was turning into the villain in the movie, and she most probably would have if Anna didn't go out and seek her sister in love... this point aside for later..
please dont slam doors... no matter how angry or frustrated .. be it physical doors in the house that hurt the ears and heart.. not to mention wallet when getting the frame and hinge fixed.... but also mental doors.. dont cut relationships that are meant to be kept .. sure there are those people in life you'll do better being away from.. but you'll know with your heart who you should always let in when they knock ...

when He comes in and dine with you, he'll talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable, things that challenge you for the good... for your sake... dont run away from these people, seek them, open up to them...

"Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed." - Proverbs 15:22 (okay so this verse doesnt really talk much about being accountable =P Got any better ones? feel free to share and recommend in the comments)

no one ever said Christ would accept everything about you. Jesus loves the sinner, hates the condition i was in, a lifestyle of wickedness and debauchery, i couldn't glorify God with it, i didn't want to stay in it.. so i looked to Him, focused on Him.. i accepted that it wasn't an overnight thing, i knew it would be a long process, and miracles dont happen with a snap of the finger as if it was magic and God a genie in a bottle... i knew that the battle will never ever truly be finally over as long as i'm on earth.. there's no such thing as once healed always healed.. the temptation to regress would come.. to indulge back in Satan's kingdom... to drink poison and bile instead of milk and honey... to just tease faith.. test God's love...

no, there is no such thing as a one time repentance, repent daily

but rest assured with the helmet of salvation to guard your mind

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" - Philippians 3:12-14

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2

- this verses says it on the spot... lots of people are watching you =) don't worry.. we dont perfect our faith by our own strength.. in our desolate state of being born with a nature to sin horribly... dont accept it as finality... focus on something far greater than yourself and limits... any you'll find that as you run.. you'll slow escape life on earth and draw closer to Christ ... be in the world but not off it...

we'll be finally free when our physical body dies on earth and our soul goes to be with the Father

well .. and stroms raging on.. dont just let a horrible tornado run amok through your life destroying everything you have held dear for the years you've lived on earth... relationships, families, homes..

the cold (associated with something negative?) never bothered me anyway..... gosh.. sin should make you feel guilty! dont get desensitized to it.. don't indulged in it too much to a point where you get used to it!

"It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all"
- taking a step back always gives a better and clearer view
erm, well there are good fears and bad fears... good ones are like.. i better not steal or sleep with another man's wife leased i get kicked into jail or sued in court.. or worst... shatter my soul...
bad fears are like... what Elsa i think refers to: she has so much power, that if uncontrolled could hurt people, being in isolation with no one allows her to practice it freely with no guilt conscience of hurting anyone... (but in reality she was even though she was a 1000 miles away.. the people back in Arendelle were suuuufffeeeering...)

if you think your actions dont hurt anyone, think again

dont be decieved, dont be selfish... thinking its 'for the better of everyone'

the blessing powers meant for good, if unchecked by responsibility and a noble heart shall ultimately turn into a curse, destroying it's wielder and all that was protected in love

sounds like some marvel/DC hero corny line

"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!"

-haha, i wish i could just test out everything.. drugs, clubbing, sleezy stuff... 

i'm pretty sure i'll break something.. like a glass cup or my neck in a car crash

well truth and justice is not subjective, if it feels good doing it, doesn't mean that it is not wrong..

sometimes i like to break rules, not the law... but rules... to bend them, find a loophole, a glitch in life... sigh.. if only this was the matrix =P could be bending spoons...

free... reminds me about Abraham Lincoln's word: People willing to trade their freedom for temporary security deserve neither and will lose both .....

btw its benjamin franklin who said it... anyways.. dont be secured in the things of this world... companions you find in clubs, work offered by the government, the church pastor's preaching, your wife (so gonna love mine when i get her... hopefully =P), cash, car, car exhaust pipe... seriously... i duno how and why loud sounds attract people... sense of power i guess?

"Let it go, let it go

I am one with the wind and sky

Let it go, let it go

You'll never see me cry

Here I stand

And here I'll stay

Let the storm rage on"

... wind and sky... hmm reminds me of the ruler of the kingdom or air..
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath." - ephesians 2:1-3

well.. this has alot of verses.. might be over spiritualizing everything =P but owh well... who cares, hope you care, its fun xP

never see you cry infront of people... how about behind when one is in the room, or in the toilet... as long as nobody is looking.. thats good right.. atleast you still have feelings.. has you're heart ever grown so cold that all expressions of joy or sadness just doesnt seem to exist anymore

please dont stay there... take a step out of it...

dont continue on in the storm.. rise above it

"My power flurries through the air into the ground

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I'm never going back, the past is in the past"

-oookay.. this bridge is totally full of stuff i'm yet to fully understand/make up/imagine it's meaning and write about it... but gonna skip it lah..

see, what's true and whats false there is room for you to doubt, but eventually you'll find something worth placing your trust in... something that you know its better to be on than either side.. and when you know.. when you feel... you'll just go all the way... even if there are ups and downs.. He'll always be more than able to get you back up

"Let it go, let it go

And I'll rise like the break of dawn

Let it go, let it go

That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand

In the light of day

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway!"

-love how Idina Menzel controls her voice for this last chorus.. especially dying down at the last part..

there was never a perfect person to begin with..

of cause this is just an interpretation of the song... from.. sadly a very skewed point of view..

i love the song, yet i know it carries something thats wrong

Disney's doing it right ... somehow shaping the minds of children subconsciously..

kla.. sorry if i was thinking too far.. back to reality

i'll fail... i will never be fully assured in the capabilities of myself...

i'll succumb to temptations, i'll fall in trials, i'll give in to iniquities..

i'll pass, beyond what i can imagine... i will be assured when i trust not in my own understanding

i trust, but not myself, not my strength, not my will

there must be will that is far greater than the puny insignificant life i'll live if i just go with the world's flow

puny mundane mediocrity

there is a much greater calling awaiting 

believe that there are bigger things to come

experience? who needs it

Dear wife,

even though you are a long way off
i've learnt alot of things before i know who you are,
i want to make promises for you
in hopes that you'd do that too

i dont want to be good at kissing you on our wedding day,
i might really be lousy and inexperience on our first night,
i know that when our lips touch it'll be something special
for we can finally end one of life's chastity fight.

i really want to mean it,
when the words 'i love you'
comes out of my lips
as we look in each other's eyes

no more bluffing, no more faking
the feelings as genuine as it can get
you're not just another girl
who would be passing by

well get better together,
i heard practice makes perfect
and i'd only want to do that
with the very same woman every night

i'm scared

adultery is a very real thing,
its so easy to cheat and lie,
to have friends with benefits,
no attachments, no commitments.

its great to be single,
i cant cheat because of that,
but what if the other's already taken,
and i'm the third one in the net.

its sad to know the one you liked
its already being taken by someone else,
how'd i still pursue you in righteousness,
without committing something i'd regret

and what if actually got together,
the fight wont just end there,
there'll be many more challenges,
we'd have to pull through and bear

it definitely wont be easy,
to stay faithful all the time,
trials and temptations will come,
we'd have to look to something greater

a true love that surpasses all,
that we wont have to be afraid,
of being sincere and truthful,
cause repentance paves the way

i'm comforted

i know you wont be able to supply all i need,
nor i give you all that you desire, vice versa
therefore we look together each day,
to something that's much higher

in Chirst alone is where we'd find
"Contentment, Fulfillment, Joy and Peace"
the only true source that could supply them,
with an unending assurance at least

"everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial" - 1 Cor 10:23

I've finally found the reason for living... again?

without experience theology is as good as any man made idea.
relationships and feelings matter for they create that which is immaterial

there is a meaning to existence, a purpose for it
everything has a beginning and an ending just like the stars.
all things seen shall soon pass

we constantly evolve, yes
but there is One who has a much bigger picture than any of us
One who knows no beginning or end
One who created the heavens and the universe
in all it's vastness and mysteries.

And we humans know Him as what we call God.
who has revealed Himself throughout history

not wishing to be distant and apart from us
God took on a form that would pave a way for us
He took on a human form
leaving the throne and majesty in heaven
He became the only thing that could redeem us
to sacrifice and save humans for sin's wages

God took on a human form.
and some of us know Him as Christ,
Logos, Trinity, the only existence that makes sense

and finally the ultimatum,
Christ took on the cross
and paid the price for sin
so that humanity need no longer be eternally separated from a Holy God
so that we have been given a chance to partake in His divine nature.

this is the reason for living

wohoo Google purchased Nest!

the start of the end of mankind as we know it to be. nice privet lives.
truly Jesus was right when he said these were the 'end times'

"but what Satan intend to be our defeat,
when we present it to God,
He turns it around into a backfire,
because the victory is already won,
and the glory only goes the the One"

http://gizmodo.com/why-nest-is-worth-every-penny-1500616569

bring on the One World! cant wait for Uncle G to buy bitcoin once paper money stops working..

sigh, i just signed up for LastPass... i should have stuck to Paste-it-Notes..

you know why God didn't like the idea of the Babel tower? cause a unified language enabled man to achieve too much. yes it is possible.... pride cannot be bottled up as easily as one thinks.. and pride brings about an evil that even the highest archangel fell for...

Dear Lucifer who wanted to ascend into the level equal with the Most High ... U doing good in teaching mankind your tainted ways..

soon we shall be able to know what the tree of Tree of the knowledge of good and evil is.... soon knowledge shall be too easily accessed .. all we need to do is make the choice of disobedience and eat of its fruit once it ripens

with the internet, it's unifying mankind... seems like the short-term benefits are worth it.... efficiency and comfort. but i personally think it'll only bring about a grave destruction of mankind we all learn in History (yes Sejarah did teach me something).

any any great civilization before us who taught they had it all and were invincible, we shall see if we'll leave behind more than Pyramids and Stone Hedges..

gosh why do i even think about this? now i'm having second thoughts on getting a Nexus 7.... is it even necessary?.. should i just go live in the jungles and exile myself from the rest of mankind...

yeah rite........... sounds like something outta science fiction..
"ain't nobody gonna be able to talk to someone halfway across the world"

haha dun be paranoid after reading this k?
God is watching over us  and He loves you, He always has and always will...

"cast all your anxiety upon Him for he cares for you"

please dun filter this post out because of its sensitivity,
i'm not defaming Google in anyway! xD
and... if you did remove this, i would be .. really... really.... scared

good thing you dont control facebook! cause i posted it there too! hah!
go independent positive competition! =)

dont give in so easily

Accepting unfairness is not boldness
but an excuse for defeat and laziness

the trick is to find the common ground,
be it beliefs or problems...

and work from there

the A issue

 "quality of education, economic injustice and moral degradation." - anwar
yup totally agree this is what malaysia is facing

on personal note relating to this:
retaliating in the wrong manner would make the victim no better than the assaulter, two wrongs do not make a right. i have faith in religion, no matter what religion.. that there can be a common ground to work on.

do not let stereotypical views of hatred govern your mind to make what seems like the better of the decisions. look and heighten your mind to a greater level that is far above beyond all this trivial matters..

 neither open minded belivers on both sides want this to end in a war.
there can be understanding, trough peaceful dialogues.

the real enemy is the Devil.
all man are God's creation, all humans are loved by Him.
don't stab the wrong person least to find we are just fighting against God's own creations!

remember: the real enemy is the Devil, he wants this war

on another side note.. this song is soo awesome!

new year 2014

new year's here

spent my first watchnight away from home.
all this time it was always in church, never missing a year...

eh wait no, i didn't spend watchnight back home during 2012/2013 too..
was in indonesia for the 6th ISC... so this is my second year away from home.

gosh.. skipped two years in a row.
i used to think and ask why i was always HAD to go to church on that night,
i felt really obligated back then, as if i was forced to,
not being able to enjoy the fun at malls and other places where masses of people congregate,
like the Curve or KL or something...

but now that i look back, we used to share testimonies of our year back in church during this time.
and it would be so endless. we had to even pause the flow to do countdown at midnight and then continue back later..

owh well.. there's a first time to everything.

btw, today 1st january marks the day that i am, freed again

thank you Lord for sustaining me
throughout that moment in time
and now you have granted me
the rest i've wished for some time

so anyways, i was reading about the new mac pro.. the one that looks like a dustbin..
which lead on to reading about mainframes and super computers..
gosh... Tianhe-2 is... crazy
the power of china... i dont think i can calculate mesh and hypercube architectures..

my brain would just... melt....
and yet this is the way mankind moves forward =)

and i have an interest to build a personal supercomputer with nvedia's tesla =P
anybody wanna fund me? xD

yea humanity, i wonder what we'll achieve by the end of 2014 ... sentient computer's maybe? =D

maybe we'll be able to integrate our biological nerves with tecnology =P that'll be cool, especially if it could help in processing power and storage capacity

well i guess thats what the windows to the Cloud is... we're just separated by our hands and eyes

time and time again, waiting

"Waiting is a part of trusting",
do not live in a world of instantanity.
Time does infact prove something,
so please delight in walking the journey.

abraham waited for his son, believed in God to hold true to His word,
and it was accredited to him as righteousness. *genesis 15:6

trust and obey...
for there's no other way..
to be happy in Jesus...
but to trust and obey~

-this hymn always and an eerie ring to it,
i never liked how it was so straight to the point, almost harsh
obey is a very strong word,
but now i know, least i do not choose to follow what He says,
i obey my own flesh, and it is always my downfall.

a little Resurrection every-time i fall

Dear God,

Grace what have you done?
that i should show grace to others.
why have i been forgiven,
that i should be tested again.

you told me to repent daily,
for your kingdom is near at hand,
humanly, it seems too long a time,
with you, i find joy for each moment.

but when i dont go to you,
to fill my cup each day,
it runs dry and i get tired,
i feel like just giving up.

sometimes i snap,
and conform to my fleshly desires,
i let my guard down for a moment,
and put to failure all i have done.

i think this is the end,
its all going down hill from here,
but little did i forget,
i've given my life into your hands.

that you'll never let me go,
and turn my sorrow and shame,
into something that glorifies you,
for the victory is already won.

what satan meant for my destruction,
you made into a testimony,
what i understood humanly,
is nothing compared to the light you shone.

confessing is such a rare thing,
probably it's how the world views it,
it's a sign of weakness and defeat,
when actually it takes more than that.

as a matter of fact,
opening up is not as easy to be done,
i wouldn't say it takes a real man to do it,
i just needed the right Man to help me.

to be comforted in knowing that
you hold me in your loving hands

remind me dear Lord each day,
that the Person i believe in is not small,
but bigger than anything i'd ever imagine,
that i do not fight life alone.

i will live, by dying.
no longer shall shame and past hold me,
tough i've learnt my lessons from them,
its towards you i look forward to.

i dont know what to do for the future,
i dont want to make human plans,
i know its you who'd guide my steps,
each and every day of my life.

You died in my place so my soul will live

"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?" -Jeremiah 12:5

so yeah, did i fail you God? after all that you have brought me through in life, after being faithful and proven trough smaller trials and temptations, when i face a bigger thing, why has my heart crumbled? why did i not do the right thing and seek You first before taking things into my own hands. i really thought my own understanding was more than enough to amend the problem, and i thought that you would just bless the decisions i make like a genie. like how You've always done when i was a young child.

when i was a young christian, things used to go so smoothly, life in communion with Him was a bliss and daily life was a nice stroll in the park. but i know as i grow older, the path shall be more laden with stones, and i need to keep a much more open eye, least i trip. real man never trip. even if they do they do not admit it.

but every time i fall, it is a better state than being lukewarm, cause then there is a chance to rise again, to take hold of His hand again and be pulled up by grace. to feel His touch and grip His nail pierced hands.

The blood that flowed from them is more than able to wash away my shame. i no longer need to hide my wrong, for in confession and prevalence comes a testimony that just goes to show how He aids us to sore over the storms.

Or so i taught that i was right,
to confront a man older than i.
to assume and accuse,
thank God I didn't spark a fight.

My heart was aching from harboring,
a taint cause by evil's blight.
Everything at the end of the day,
shall eventually come to light.

I taught it was my very right,
to amend wrongs with my own might,
I taught i didn't need the Lord,
I've been through this before.
It was like rowing a boat it the storm,
using my strength to reach the shore.

Little did i know how grieve a failure,
my actions would be without His counsel.
To think i should, actually blurted it all out,
i should have kept my lips shut with a suture.

Now i learn that only certain people,
can handle what i think is simple.
To not be labelled judgmental,
is more than saying 'grow up' typical.

True love disciplines a loved one,
but i was in no position or authority,
As much as i wanted to get it done,
this needed to be dealt with spiritually.

A case that involved me,
somehow was not my fight to be,
I was just a passer by,
that God may shine unconditionally.

palms 36 talks about how i actually schemed to do wrong =(
but  2 Corinthians 6:8 says

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you,

so that in all things at all times, having all that you need,

you will abound in every good work."

sweet young girls

well so i never actually got the chance to see the blog, cause it was taken down by the time i read about the news. haha, so late in keeping up with trends, owh well... some trends aren't just worth while.

but as i was reading it, the thing that kept on reoccurring in my mind was: "i wonder if anyone is going to love the unlovable". i mean, sometimes people do mean stuff, mean enough that the 'victims' feel violated, breech of privacy, blablabla.. enough to consider taking the 'offender' to court to press charges and sue him.

lawyers..

but dont you think that when something bad happens to you it is a good thing?
okay that sounded really ironic and contradictory... but think about this:

when something bad happens to you, it is a chance for you to forgive.
when obstacles come your way, that is when your character is tested.
this is how what is inside us comes out, and we can see it to evaluate it
emotions dont just randomly pop out without any cause
if you find that the feeling generated by your natural instinct is ... unwise
then dont get comfortable with it, face your flesh's desires and put it to death
not all that we feel is good is good. i know God created us to be who we are with the individual personalities custom made so that we are just the one and only in all the world (no but seriously some people are soooooo similar! in characteristics... that fit body shapes! < weirdest coincidence; the face too)

then there's probably a billion other people who've posted articles about "mistakes are a stepping stone to success" and blablabla.... keep God's POV when reading any article on the internet, facts can be fiction, but there is always one Source that has the Truth to set us free..

Free.... our will is not free... whoever said (including christians) that we have "free will" .. i strongly disagree.. our will as long as it is not given to the right Master, has its wrist shackled in chains to sin. "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money/wealth/mammon" - Matt 6:24. neither can a man have no master at all, least he says that he is the master of his own-self, he is disillusioned.

i do how ever believe we have the freedom to choose. so choose who you serve. an eternal Kingdom or a fleeting dream

bwt, ai learnt a new cool triangle from Dusty Hawk's blog defense post..(yeah i call it a defense, an explanation, whatever la....any negative effects brought by using the wrong terms?)

=D Paul Graham's Hierarchy of Disagreement

 
"it is a good thing when a bad thing happens"
-cause if you response in some low level baloney, than be glad that the crap happened to you so that you can be taught a lesson... to become a better person...

wow, that was a really mean way to end things... gosh... hope i'm not changing into some 'self-righteous' egoistic @#$%H@%3

haha, dear God, let your grace and mercies be new every morning, that my cup will not run dry but be filled each day to be poured out into the lives of others.... that You be glorified =P .... haha amen

Jesus loves you!

when something goes missing

so lets say there is a room.
with only two people, A and B
and then and extra person comes along, C. who is B's friend but does not know much of A

after awhile A realizes something is missing, item D
the reason is a mystery, no one has any idea where it disappeared to
it could have been misplaced by A himself and then forgotten,
it could have been moved by B or C
it could have been taken by B or C
it could have been taken by neither any of them, maybe someone else, E

so A ask B where it is,
B answer's "i genuinely have no idea"
"but i'll ask C"

B: "have you seen item D?"
C: "nope"

C: "are you saying i took it?"

so tadaa.. cool scenario... what to do now?

it might seem like B was implying that C took it.
but B has no intention what so ever to imply C took it
it just 'seemed' like it

it is just necessary for B to ask C, just as how he was asked by A
its like... curtsy.. xD or.. 'just-following-procedures'

but if C denies he took it, and he is telling the truth,
then were could item D magically have gone to?

A has to trust B
while B has to trust C

A can trust C directly but it is hard..

oh gosh.. God you know where item D is!

misconception of the mind

" i taught with all my heart he did what i taught he did.... so weird... to be so firm and sure in something that wasn't true...  the power of misconception and words can be so strong and real..."

well it started like this, i just.. well.. heard the wrong thing from the guy, cant blame me right? not my fault if he feeds me false information... haha

well i guess its my wrong too, cause i didn't go detective and CSI over trivial matters..

sigh.. how to trust words of people...

that aside, just came back from campuslife camp.. thank you Lord for the encounter and the reminders! =)

and, had fun: finding out that some people believe that we are no longer sinners when we accept Chirst.. seriously? non-sinner

 lesson learnt: get the truth, investigate, and... evaluate the friends characteristic of trust

how rumors start: guy A is trustworthy, guy B jokes/unintentionally says something sarcastic, guy A believes (fault), guy A tells others, others take guy A for his word.. tadaa...

but the grace is this: that wrongs can be rectified, all it takes it just a "sorry, my mistake"