april's fool - i feel like dying

fun ..er.. not-so-fun fact, i had a granduncle that died on April's fool,
i'm sure people thought it was a joke... and kidded that death shouldn't be something to be made fun of

well he did actually die..

i guess that one can still make people laugh by dying =P
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heh heh so basically that's like a post to put on FB wall and make people think one is.. suicidal
seriously? if i wanted to kill myself i would just do it, why would anyone tell the world what they are going to do and give others a chance to thwart the plan.

i think people who post depressed emo things on their walls are just seeking attention,
like if you really needed help you would call your best friend and talk to them in PRIVET

gosh.. so i tried to be 'emo' and post stuff that .. would make people automatically assume something is wrong... (like seriously, why are Christian's still depressed??)

and what i found out was.. people actually  do care! genuinely..
but i as the 'victim' was .. eagerly waiting for people to reply.. i was selfish and WAITING for replies..

i taught i wanted to die, not talk to people.

haha... so it was quite a fun trial to run. standing on the other side and see-ing things from a pseudo-depression POV

had some really really really good people come and bring up conversations...

and when they stop replying, and cease to play the game, it gets boring...
and i just decided to stop playing too...

it helps to not 'layan' this kinda emotional-baby-fits of childishness

happy apirl's fool btw
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GOSH! that is really really really bad! some people who actually do SUFFER from depression, like medically confirmed, pill-popping and seeing a specialist

what i know is.. Love never fails..

in a time where one actually wants to kill themselves ... it really works to have someone to talk to, someone to be beside them and know they can yum-cha with

mhmm rebuking doesn't work sometimes i guess.. like "grow up!" .. it just makes a person even.. sadder.. to know that they cant buck up to what people expect them to be
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so yeah. remember LOVE NEVER FAILS!
i feel so bad.. so so so bad of making a mockery out of this..
as if.... this wasn't a real problem...

sigh, when will i stop playing this games,
and finally grow up..
get mature and be dull and grey

hmm.. probably never... =)