"Waiting is a part of trusting",
do not live in a world of instantanity.
Time does infact prove something,
so please delight in walking the journey.
abraham waited for his son, believed in God to hold true to His word,
and it was accredited to him as righteousness. *genesis 15:6
trust and obey...
for there's no other way..
to be happy in Jesus...
but to trust and obey~
-this hymn always and an eerie ring to it,
i never liked how it was so straight to the point, almost harsh
obey is a very strong word,
but now i know, least i do not choose to follow what He says,
i obey my own flesh, and it is always my downfall.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
a little Resurrection every-time i fall
Dear God,
Grace what have you done?
that i should show grace to others.
why have i been forgiven,
that i should be tested again.
you told me to repent daily,
for your kingdom is near at hand,
humanly, it seems too long a time,
with you, i find joy for each moment.
but when i dont go to you,
to fill my cup each day,
it runs dry and i get tired,
i feel like just giving up.
sometimes i snap,
and conform to my fleshly desires,
i let my guard down for a moment,
and put to failure all i have done.
i think this is the end,
its all going down hill from here,
but little did i forget,
i've given my life into your hands.
that you'll never let me go,
and turn my sorrow and shame,
into something that glorifies you,
for the victory is already won.
what satan meant for my destruction,
you made into a testimony,
what i understood humanly,
is nothing compared to the light you shone.
confessing is such a rare thing,
probably it's how the world views it,
it's a sign of weakness and defeat,
when actually it takes more than that.
as a matter of fact,
opening up is not as easy to be done,
i wouldn't say it takes a real man to do it,
i just needed the right Man to help me.
to be comforted in knowing that
you hold me in your loving hands
remind me dear Lord each day,
that the Person i believe in is not small,
but bigger than anything i'd ever imagine,
that i do not fight life alone.
i will live, by dying.
no longer shall shame and past hold me,
tough i've learnt my lessons from them,
its towards you i look forward to.
i dont know what to do for the future,
i dont want to make human plans,
i know its you who'd guide my steps,
each and every day of my life.
Grace what have you done?
that i should show grace to others.
why have i been forgiven,
that i should be tested again.
you told me to repent daily,
for your kingdom is near at hand,
humanly, it seems too long a time,
with you, i find joy for each moment.
but when i dont go to you,
to fill my cup each day,
it runs dry and i get tired,
i feel like just giving up.
sometimes i snap,
and conform to my fleshly desires,
i let my guard down for a moment,
and put to failure all i have done.
i think this is the end,
its all going down hill from here,
but little did i forget,
i've given my life into your hands.
that you'll never let me go,
and turn my sorrow and shame,
into something that glorifies you,
for the victory is already won.
what satan meant for my destruction,
you made into a testimony,
what i understood humanly,
is nothing compared to the light you shone.
confessing is such a rare thing,
probably it's how the world views it,
it's a sign of weakness and defeat,
when actually it takes more than that.
as a matter of fact,
opening up is not as easy to be done,
i wouldn't say it takes a real man to do it,
i just needed the right Man to help me.
to be comforted in knowing that
you hold me in your loving hands
remind me dear Lord each day,
that the Person i believe in is not small,
but bigger than anything i'd ever imagine,
that i do not fight life alone.
i will live, by dying.
no longer shall shame and past hold me,
tough i've learnt my lessons from them,
its towards you i look forward to.
i dont know what to do for the future,
i dont want to make human plans,
i know its you who'd guide my steps,
each and every day of my life.
Friday, December 06, 2013
You died in my place so my soul will live
"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?" -Jeremiah 12:5
so yeah, did i fail you God? after all that you have brought me through in life, after being faithful and proven trough smaller trials and temptations, when i face a bigger thing, why has my heart crumbled? why did i not do the right thing and seek You first before taking things into my own hands. i really thought my own understanding was more than enough to amend the problem, and i thought that you would just bless the decisions i make like a genie. like how You've always done when i was a young child.
when i was a young christian, things used to go so smoothly, life in communion with Him was a bliss and daily life was a nice stroll in the park. but i know as i grow older, the path shall be more laden with stones, and i need to keep a much more open eye, least i trip. real man never trip. even if they do they do not admit it.
but every time i fall, it is a better state than being lukewarm, cause then there is a chance to rise again, to take hold of His hand again and be pulled up by grace. to feel His touch and grip His nail pierced hands.
The blood that flowed from them is more than able to wash away my shame. i no longer need to hide my wrong, for in confession and prevalence comes a testimony that just goes to show how He aids us to sore over the storms.
Or so i taught that i was right,
to confront a man older than i.
to assume and accuse,
thank God I didn't spark a fight.
My heart was aching from harboring,
a taint cause by evil's blight.
Everything at the end of the day,
shall eventually come to light.
I taught it was my very right,
to amend wrongs with my own might,
I taught i didn't need the Lord,
I've been through this before.
It was like rowing a boat it the storm,
using my strength to reach the shore.
Little did i know how grieve a failure,
my actions would be without His counsel.
To think i should, actually blurted it all out,
i should have kept my lips shut with a suture.
Now i learn that only certain people,
can handle what i think is simple.
To not be labelled judgmental,
is more than saying 'grow up' typical.
True love disciplines a loved one,
but i was in no position or authority,
As much as i wanted to get it done,
this needed to be dealt with spiritually.
A case that involved me,
somehow was not my fight to be,
I was just a passer by,
that God may shine unconditionally.
palms 36 talks about how i actually schemed to do wrong =(
but 2 Corinthians 6:8 says
so yeah, did i fail you God? after all that you have brought me through in life, after being faithful and proven trough smaller trials and temptations, when i face a bigger thing, why has my heart crumbled? why did i not do the right thing and seek You first before taking things into my own hands. i really thought my own understanding was more than enough to amend the problem, and i thought that you would just bless the decisions i make like a genie. like how You've always done when i was a young child.
when i was a young christian, things used to go so smoothly, life in communion with Him was a bliss and daily life was a nice stroll in the park. but i know as i grow older, the path shall be more laden with stones, and i need to keep a much more open eye, least i trip. real man never trip. even if they do they do not admit it.
but every time i fall, it is a better state than being lukewarm, cause then there is a chance to rise again, to take hold of His hand again and be pulled up by grace. to feel His touch and grip His nail pierced hands.
The blood that flowed from them is more than able to wash away my shame. i no longer need to hide my wrong, for in confession and prevalence comes a testimony that just goes to show how He aids us to sore over the storms.
Or so i taught that i was right,
to confront a man older than i.
to assume and accuse,
thank God I didn't spark a fight.
My heart was aching from harboring,
a taint cause by evil's blight.
Everything at the end of the day,
shall eventually come to light.
I taught it was my very right,
to amend wrongs with my own might,
I taught i didn't need the Lord,
I've been through this before.
It was like rowing a boat it the storm,
using my strength to reach the shore.
Little did i know how grieve a failure,
my actions would be without His counsel.
To think i should, actually blurted it all out,
i should have kept my lips shut with a suture.
Now i learn that only certain people,
can handle what i think is simple.
To not be labelled judgmental,
is more than saying 'grow up' typical.
True love disciplines a loved one,
but i was in no position or authority,
As much as i wanted to get it done,
this needed to be dealt with spiritually.
A case that involved me,
somehow was not my fight to be,
I was just a passer by,
that God may shine unconditionally.
palms 36 talks about how i actually schemed to do wrong =(
but 2 Corinthians 6:8 says
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that in all things at all times, having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work."
Thursday, November 28, 2013
sweet young girls
well so i never actually got the chance to see the blog, cause it was taken down by the time i read about the news. haha, so late in keeping up with trends, owh well... some trends aren't just worth while.
but as i was reading it, the thing that kept on reoccurring in my mind was: "i wonder if anyone is going to love the unlovable". i mean, sometimes people do mean stuff, mean enough that the 'victims' feel violated, breech of privacy, blablabla.. enough to consider taking the 'offender' to court to press charges and sue him.
lawyers..
but dont you think that when something bad happens to you it is a good thing?
okay that sounded really ironic and contradictory... but think about this:
when something bad happens to you, it is a chance for you to forgive.
when obstacles come your way, that is when your character is tested.
this is how what is inside us comes out, and we can see it to evaluate it
emotions dont just randomly pop out without any cause
if you find that the feeling generated by your natural instinct is ... unwise
then dont get comfortable with it, face your flesh's desires and put it to death
not all that we feel is good is good. i know God created us to be who we are with the individual personalities custom made so that we are just the one and only in all the world (no but seriously some people are soooooo similar! in characteristics... that fit body shapes! < weirdest coincidence; the face too)
then there's probably a billion other people who've posted articles about "mistakes are a stepping stone to success" and blablabla.... keep God's POV when reading any article on the internet, facts can be fiction, but there is always one Source that has the Truth to set us free..
Free.... our will is not free... whoever said (including christians) that we have "free will" .. i strongly disagree.. our will as long as it is not given to the right Master, has its wrist shackled in chains to sin. "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money/wealth/mammon" - Matt 6:24. neither can a man have no master at all, least he says that he is the master of his own-self, he is disillusioned.
i do how ever believe we have the freedom to choose. so choose who you serve. an eternal Kingdom or a fleeting dream
bwt, ai learnt a new cool triangle from Dusty Hawk's blog defense post..(yeah i call it a defense, an explanation, whatever la....any negative effects brought by using the wrong terms?)
=D Paul Graham's Hierarchy of Disagreement
"it is a good thing when a bad thing happens"
-cause if you response in some low level baloney, than be glad that the crap happened to you so that you can be taught a lesson... to become a better person...
wow, that was a really mean way to end things... gosh... hope i'm not changing into some 'self-righteous' egoistic @#$%H@%3
haha, dear God, let your grace and mercies be new every morning, that my cup will not run dry but be filled each day to be poured out into the lives of others.... that You be glorified =P .... haha amen
Jesus loves you!
but as i was reading it, the thing that kept on reoccurring in my mind was: "i wonder if anyone is going to love the unlovable". i mean, sometimes people do mean stuff, mean enough that the 'victims' feel violated, breech of privacy, blablabla.. enough to consider taking the 'offender' to court to press charges and sue him.
lawyers..
but dont you think that when something bad happens to you it is a good thing?
okay that sounded really ironic and contradictory... but think about this:
when something bad happens to you, it is a chance for you to forgive.
when obstacles come your way, that is when your character is tested.
this is how what is inside us comes out, and we can see it to evaluate it
emotions dont just randomly pop out without any cause
if you find that the feeling generated by your natural instinct is ... unwise
then dont get comfortable with it, face your flesh's desires and put it to death
not all that we feel is good is good. i know God created us to be who we are with the individual personalities custom made so that we are just the one and only in all the world (no but seriously some people are soooooo similar! in characteristics... that fit body shapes! < weirdest coincidence; the face too)
then there's probably a billion other people who've posted articles about "mistakes are a stepping stone to success" and blablabla.... keep God's POV when reading any article on the internet, facts can be fiction, but there is always one Source that has the Truth to set us free..
Free.... our will is not free... whoever said (including christians) that we have "free will" .. i strongly disagree.. our will as long as it is not given to the right Master, has its wrist shackled in chains to sin. "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money/wealth/mammon" - Matt 6:24. neither can a man have no master at all, least he says that he is the master of his own-self, he is disillusioned.
i do how ever believe we have the freedom to choose. so choose who you serve. an eternal Kingdom or a fleeting dream
bwt, ai learnt a new cool triangle from Dusty Hawk's blog defense post..(yeah i call it a defense, an explanation, whatever la....any negative effects brought by using the wrong terms?) =D Paul Graham's Hierarchy of Disagreement
"it is a good thing when a bad thing happens"
-cause if you response in some low level baloney, than be glad that the crap happened to you so that you can be taught a lesson... to become a better person...
wow, that was a really mean way to end things... gosh... hope i'm not changing into some 'self-righteous' egoistic @#$%H@%3
haha, dear God, let your grace and mercies be new every morning, that my cup will not run dry but be filled each day to be poured out into the lives of others.... that You be glorified =P .... haha amen
Jesus loves you!
Saturday, November 09, 2013
when something goes missing
so lets say there is a room.
with only two people, A and B
and then and extra person comes along, C. who is B's friend but does not know much of A
after awhile A realizes something is missing, item D
the reason is a mystery, no one has any idea where it disappeared to
it could have been misplaced by A himself and then forgotten,
it could have been moved by B or C
it could have been taken by B or C
it could have been taken by neither any of them, maybe someone else, E
so A ask B where it is,
B answer's "i genuinely have no idea"
"but i'll ask C"
B: "have you seen item D?"
C: "nope"
C: "are you saying i took it?"
so tadaa.. cool scenario... what to do now?
it might seem like B was implying that C took it.
but B has no intention what so ever to imply C took it
it just 'seemed' like it
it is just necessary for B to ask C, just as how he was asked by A
its like... curtsy.. xD or.. 'just-following-procedures'
but if C denies he took it, and he is telling the truth,
then were could item D magically have gone to?
A has to trust B
while B has to trust C
A can trust C directly but it is hard..
oh gosh.. God you know where item D is!
with only two people, A and B
and then and extra person comes along, C. who is B's friend but does not know much of A
after awhile A realizes something is missing, item D
the reason is a mystery, no one has any idea where it disappeared to
it could have been misplaced by A himself and then forgotten,
it could have been moved by B or C
it could have been taken by B or C
it could have been taken by neither any of them, maybe someone else, E
so A ask B where it is,
B answer's "i genuinely have no idea"
"but i'll ask C"
B: "have you seen item D?"
C: "nope"
C: "are you saying i took it?"
so tadaa.. cool scenario... what to do now?
it might seem like B was implying that C took it.
but B has no intention what so ever to imply C took it
it just 'seemed' like it
it is just necessary for B to ask C, just as how he was asked by A
its like... curtsy.. xD or.. 'just-following-procedures'
but if C denies he took it, and he is telling the truth,
then were could item D magically have gone to?
A has to trust B
while B has to trust C
A can trust C directly but it is hard..
oh gosh.. God you know where item D is!
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
misconception of the mind
" i taught with all my heart he did what i taught he did.... so weird... to be so firm and sure in something that wasn't true... the power of misconception and words can be so strong and real..."
well it started like this, i just.. well.. heard the wrong thing from the guy, cant blame me right? not my fault if he feeds me false information... haha
well i guess its my wrong too, cause i didn't go detective and CSI over trivial matters..
sigh.. how to trust words of people...
that aside, just came back from campuslife camp.. thank you Lord for the encounter and the reminders! =)
and, had fun: finding out that some people believe that we are no longer sinners when we accept Chirst.. seriously? non-sinner
lesson learnt: get the truth, investigate, and... evaluate the friends characteristic of trust
how rumors start: guy A is trustworthy, guy B jokes/unintentionally says something sarcastic, guy A believes (fault), guy A tells others, others take guy A for his word.. tadaa...
but the grace is this: that wrongs can be rectified, all it takes it just a "sorry, my mistake"
well it started like this, i just.. well.. heard the wrong thing from the guy, cant blame me right? not my fault if he feeds me false information... haha
well i guess its my wrong too, cause i didn't go detective and CSI over trivial matters..
sigh.. how to trust words of people...
that aside, just came back from campuslife camp.. thank you Lord for the encounter and the reminders! =)
and, had fun: finding out that some people believe that we are no longer sinners when we accept Chirst.. seriously? non-sinner
lesson learnt: get the truth, investigate, and... evaluate the friends characteristic of trust
how rumors start: guy A is trustworthy, guy B jokes/unintentionally says something sarcastic, guy A believes (fault), guy A tells others, others take guy A for his word.. tadaa...
but the grace is this: that wrongs can be rectified, all it takes it just a "sorry, my mistake"
Sunday, October 27, 2013
three-in-one phone,tablet,book please
was wondering if i should get a ultrabook wih ssd, tablet of smartphone.
well i was using a blackberry and have no idea about the prepaid plan they have for BB.. haha yeah jacoon, so i've been using wifi only and been skeptical about internet data usage.
well i was using a blackberry and have no idea about the prepaid plan they have for BB.. haha yeah jacoon, so i've been using wifi only and been skeptical about internet data usage.
but just tried it *116*11# .. mhmm daily unlimitted.. why not? =P
i taught all this while bb had issues with downloading a gmail app or its calender like andriod.. haha yeah jacoon.. i know i know..
and i wondered why evernote, gmaps and other apps wouldn't work with wifi.. sigh..
so sad i only found out about this now, anyways.. life's been good without a smart phone functioning smartly.. hopefully now that it does it wont make me dumb.
so i taught it was unlimited and hotspotted it with my dying laptop.... but then i found out that the unlimited does not include teetering =P so yup.. thank God it caps at RM8
anyways i already bought a maxis Mifi 4/4gb plan and bounded to it for 12 months..
probabbly gonna stop the bb plan once i'm done having fun with it..
anyways why cant they make broadband into the same sim card as the caller's phone??
i like asus three in one pad phone concept..
i wonder if they could make a smartphone with a dual sim card quad-core 64gb, micro sim slot up to 64gb. and 2gb ram.
that sicks into a 10inch tablet which extends battery life, has speakers and anther quad core that can run simultaneously with the phone to get a octa-cored processing power... and then adds another 64gb of space with better radio wave reception, and another 4gb ram.. and probabbly a third sim card for boardband usage =P
that sicks into a keyboard dock which extends batt life, has more speakers, another quad core, and some neat USB 3.0s ... atleast 4 ports...
that would be a all-in-one sweet gadget to have =D
a dvd burner could be added as an extension and need not be part of the keyboard-dock.. (who uses CDs nowadays anyways)
i taught all this while bb had issues with downloading a gmail app or its calender like andriod.. haha yeah jacoon.. i know i know..
and i wondered why evernote, gmaps and other apps wouldn't work with wifi.. sigh..
so sad i only found out about this now, anyways.. life's been good without a smart phone functioning smartly.. hopefully now that it does it wont make me dumb.
so i taught it was unlimited and hotspotted it with my dying laptop.... but then i found out that the unlimited does not include teetering =P so yup.. thank God it caps at RM8
anyways i already bought a maxis Mifi 4/4gb plan and bounded to it for 12 months..
probabbly gonna stop the bb plan once i'm done having fun with it..
anyways why cant they make broadband into the same sim card as the caller's phone??
i like asus three in one pad phone concept..
i wonder if they could make a smartphone with a dual sim card quad-core 64gb, micro sim slot up to 64gb. and 2gb ram.
that sicks into a 10inch tablet which extends battery life, has speakers and anther quad core that can run simultaneously with the phone to get a octa-cored processing power... and then adds another 64gb of space with better radio wave reception, and another 4gb ram.. and probabbly a third sim card for boardband usage =P
that sicks into a keyboard dock which extends batt life, has more speakers, another quad core, and some neat USB 3.0s ... atleast 4 ports...
that would be a all-in-one sweet gadget to have =D
a dvd burner could be added as an extension and need not be part of the keyboard-dock.. (who uses CDs nowadays anyways)
Saturday, October 26, 2013
to make toilet friendly wetsuits and x-ray trees
used a scuba BCD, tank and regulator, so fun! =D
but cant get license here in ums, still have to take externally.
anyways, had the theory for scuba and Dr Ismail joked about having to go to the toilet while wearing a wetsuit.. so yeah..
innovation? a wet suit with 'vents' that can be opened or close when needed =P
another thing is heart rot, Dr Mahmud said that there are only a few ways to figure out if the tree is diseased with heart rot or not, to chop it down or use stress wave analysis...
innovation? some more simple form of x-raying the tree.. that gives a results omething like a cat or mri scan... possible no?
anddd...... my computer BSOF-ed!!!!!
ah and just that morning i was reading about hardships in the Bible and how we should bring everything to God in prayer... owh well....
downloaded and made a bootable ubuntu OS from a usb =D so fun!
mange to save the fiels and documents i needed..
formatted drive C.
and reinstalled win 7 -64 bit... (was previously running on 32 bit) ... cause i only had 2 gb ddr2 ram that time.. just bought a second hand 2gb from karamunsing =P
so yup, can fully utilize the 4 gb instead of 3.5 gb
ah.. btw why BSOD? because got root kit virus =P SIGH, university thumdrives are fullllllllllllllllllll of them.
why avast u no protect me.
anyways learnt some stuff =) so not a total loss.. other than time taken to reinstal windows when i should be stuying for my midterm next week.
btw, offered to help a lecturer speed up her computer, thank God it didn't die when i changed some settings, i would have been skewered.... learn new things too like....
start, rightclick computer, properties, advance system settings, (advance) (performance) settings, custom, uncheck everything =P except smoothing out font edges and thumbnail preview.
msconfig, boot, advance options, number of processors, 2 or 4 =)
lecturers are so different in their rooms personally one on one and in the lecture halls when they are infront of so many people.
GOd, please.... let me study.....
but cant get license here in ums, still have to take externally.
anyways, had the theory for scuba and Dr Ismail joked about having to go to the toilet while wearing a wetsuit.. so yeah..
innovation? a wet suit with 'vents' that can be opened or close when needed =P
another thing is heart rot, Dr Mahmud said that there are only a few ways to figure out if the tree is diseased with heart rot or not, to chop it down or use stress wave analysis...
innovation? some more simple form of x-raying the tree.. that gives a results omething like a cat or mri scan... possible no?
anddd...... my computer BSOF-ed!!!!!
ah and just that morning i was reading about hardships in the Bible and how we should bring everything to God in prayer... owh well....
downloaded and made a bootable ubuntu OS from a usb =D so fun!
mange to save the fiels and documents i needed..
formatted drive C.
and reinstalled win 7 -64 bit... (was previously running on 32 bit) ... cause i only had 2 gb ddr2 ram that time.. just bought a second hand 2gb from karamunsing =P
so yup, can fully utilize the 4 gb instead of 3.5 gb
ah.. btw why BSOD? because got root kit virus =P SIGH, university thumdrives are fullllllllllllllllllll of them.
why avast u no protect me.
anyways learnt some stuff =) so not a total loss.. other than time taken to reinstal windows when i should be stuying for my midterm next week.
btw, offered to help a lecturer speed up her computer, thank God it didn't die when i changed some settings, i would have been skewered.... learn new things too like....
start, rightclick computer, properties, advance system settings, (advance) (performance) settings, custom, uncheck everything =P except smoothing out font edges and thumbnail preview.
msconfig, boot, advance options, number of processors, 2 or 4 =)
lecturers are so different in their rooms personally one on one and in the lecture halls when they are infront of so many people.
GOd, please.... let me study.....
Friday, September 27, 2013
morning wake up with dogs
owh btw, did i tell you i got chased by a pack of dogs this morning?
well, it was crazy scary. was literally running for my life's sake
it was fun =) got a feel of some hormones i haven't had in a looooong time
well, it was crazy scary. was literally running for my life's sake
it was fun =) got a feel of some hormones i haven't had in a looooong time
i found another jig saw puzzle piece! =D
ah the joy's of talking to friends. close friends.
i never really knew what it was to be completely freed form my past. the hurts from a torn relationship and losing the desire to strive for something.
neither the joy of having a broken heart mended by its Maker..
but it all comes to light when talking with a friend. it has already happened. i have very nice nights sleeping in peace. i dont have to suffer sleepless nights or a mind wondering over and over again about a matter that has long gone. cause... in our weakness, then He is strong.
well just some food for taught.
all the chatter about relationships and bla bla bla... seriously? i'm not ready now? .. when will i ever be ready? isn't the couple supposed to find the imperfection in each other the thing that attracts them and an obstacle that that can both work it out together to become better people as one unit?...
nah... what attracts me to people are their good points. looking at other's weakness and thinking its cool aint something nice to do. but fact is, whose fault was it that this man was born blind? well no ones. it so happened there is misfortune and suffering so that the glory of Him might be shown.. as simple as that eh..
sigh, if i'm to 'get ready' myself and prepare in whatever way i can to be the right guy for the right girl and blablabla.... i hope i dont have to wait till i'm 30... but whatever it takes lah, dont want to make a wrong decision and mess up life big time with the vow... the Vow.. nice movie.. the guy shows what a real man should be, standing up when he needs to, like saying he's not a punching bag.. and when he doesnt need to, like punching the guy at the wedding... go channing... is that what girls want? a guy who can make decisions like a man and blablabla.. not this "christian guys are so emasculated now adays" issue again..
i just think gaming has evolved from chess to dota so well, technology is screwing up humanity... go facebook and social media! may your sub conscious abstract effort to ultimately narcissisify (no it is not an actual word) even the most holy and righteous people come to pass.. even in all the obvious concrete goodness that you bring in the ease of planning events and having group discussing, reminding birthdays to the whole world till the tradition of having one or two people come and surprise us at the door on that special day slowly fades away.... (okay well.. birthday parties still get throw lah) ...
who doesnt like partying rite? wohoo... freedom..
anyways... i like what one character episode in a series said "a wise man once said whatever you say before a 'but' doesnt count" .. i was thinking how true it was... but then again... how much it wasn't either..
haha but...
so ironic...
okay enough typing for now. hope i fed you well enough today dear blog.
i found another jigsaw piece on the floor to place in the grand big picture of life, i know i will never be able to see it in all its wonder till i'm finally up there looking down.... but shucks.. thank you Mr Jigsaw Maker for placing those friends in my picture... i love them, i love them all, and i love You.
i never really knew what it was to be completely freed form my past. the hurts from a torn relationship and losing the desire to strive for something.
neither the joy of having a broken heart mended by its Maker..
but it all comes to light when talking with a friend. it has already happened. i have very nice nights sleeping in peace. i dont have to suffer sleepless nights or a mind wondering over and over again about a matter that has long gone. cause... in our weakness, then He is strong.
well just some food for taught.
all the chatter about relationships and bla bla bla... seriously? i'm not ready now? .. when will i ever be ready? isn't the couple supposed to find the imperfection in each other the thing that attracts them and an obstacle that that can both work it out together to become better people as one unit?...
nah... what attracts me to people are their good points. looking at other's weakness and thinking its cool aint something nice to do. but fact is, whose fault was it that this man was born blind? well no ones. it so happened there is misfortune and suffering so that the glory of Him might be shown.. as simple as that eh..
sigh, if i'm to 'get ready' myself and prepare in whatever way i can to be the right guy for the right girl and blablabla.... i hope i dont have to wait till i'm 30... but whatever it takes lah, dont want to make a wrong decision and mess up life big time with the vow... the Vow.. nice movie.. the guy shows what a real man should be, standing up when he needs to, like saying he's not a punching bag.. and when he doesnt need to, like punching the guy at the wedding... go channing... is that what girls want? a guy who can make decisions like a man and blablabla.. not this "christian guys are so emasculated now adays" issue again..
i just think gaming has evolved from chess to dota so well, technology is screwing up humanity... go facebook and social media! may your sub conscious abstract effort to ultimately narcissisify (no it is not an actual word) even the most holy and righteous people come to pass.. even in all the obvious concrete goodness that you bring in the ease of planning events and having group discussing, reminding birthdays to the whole world till the tradition of having one or two people come and surprise us at the door on that special day slowly fades away.... (okay well.. birthday parties still get throw lah) ...
who doesnt like partying rite? wohoo... freedom..
anyways... i like what one character episode in a series said "a wise man once said whatever you say before a 'but' doesnt count" .. i was thinking how true it was... but then again... how much it wasn't either..
haha but...
so ironic...
okay enough typing for now. hope i fed you well enough today dear blog.
i found another jigsaw piece on the floor to place in the grand big picture of life, i know i will never be able to see it in all its wonder till i'm finally up there looking down.... but shucks.. thank you Mr Jigsaw Maker for placing those friends in my picture... i love them, i love them all, and i love You.
Monday, September 16, 2013
calling and election?
2 peter 1
v3 indeed He has given us everything i need for life and godliness because of the mere knowledge of Him. now i just gotta participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in this world.... riteeeeee..... divine nature?
mhmmm corruption.. being in university ain't easy, so many things that lure a young man's heart.. if not watched properly shall be swayed and taken away by evil desires.. sigh..
v5 faith>goodness>knowledge>self-control>perseverance> godliness>brotherly kindness>love
i got stuck somewhere, and became unproductive and ineffective about my knowledge about Jesus Christ. sad rite, i think i should read up more about christianity..
v9 dont want to be near sighted, only having short termed plans. blind... cant see what's ahead.. sigh.. wheres the light and lamp post that reminds me i'm already in narnia =P
v10: make my calling sure? hmmm, yup i dont think i'mma gonna escape UMS...
election? sure.... to do what? ... what ever God wants to do here lah..
v11 ah.. shall wait for that which is longed so much for, but right now.. gotta get back to earth....
v3 indeed He has given us everything i need for life and godliness because of the mere knowledge of Him. now i just gotta participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in this world.... riteeeeee..... divine nature?
mhmmm corruption.. being in university ain't easy, so many things that lure a young man's heart.. if not watched properly shall be swayed and taken away by evil desires.. sigh..
v5 faith>goodness>knowledge>self-control>perseverance> godliness>brotherly kindness>love
i got stuck somewhere, and became unproductive and ineffective about my knowledge about Jesus Christ. sad rite, i think i should read up more about christianity..
v9 dont want to be near sighted, only having short termed plans. blind... cant see what's ahead.. sigh.. wheres the light and lamp post that reminds me i'm already in narnia =P
v10: make my calling sure? hmmm, yup i dont think i'mma gonna escape UMS...
election? sure.... to do what? ... what ever God wants to do here lah..
v11 ah.. shall wait for that which is longed so much for, but right now.. gotta get back to earth....
Sunday, September 08, 2013
with knowledge comes responsibility?
3 stages.
1st: unknown, there is no knowledge, have not heard/been told, in the dark. thus silent, if try to describe, rubbish presumptions and made up facts will come out.
1st: unknown, there is no knowledge, have not heard/been told, in the dark. thus silent, if try to describe, rubbish presumptions and made up facts will come out.
2nd: known, received knowledge, experience. what to do with that knowledge?
3rd: show or hide it. its easy to show and talk big about things that are known well by one. its not easy to talk about things that are known by one to certain groups. hide it, even if one has superior knowledge of a certain matter, the current circumstances might require one to be silent about the subject to maintain peace.
keep calm and carry on.
3rd: show or hide it. its easy to show and talk big about things that are known well by one. its not easy to talk about things that are known by one to certain groups. hide it, even if one has superior knowledge of a certain matter, the current circumstances might require one to be silent about the subject to maintain peace.
keep calm and carry on.
getting lost in ums, all part of the plan
okay so i started university.
didn't really prepare.. so much for "prius paratus laurus"
and got lost... a few times... but who doesn't right?
i got lost trying to find my way to the chancellors hall .. twice.. i got lost trying to find sib likas, really badly... as in like i stopped 5 minutes away from my destination but walked the total opposite way, making the whole trip there 2 hours long.
it was a big loop, but i ended up in the destination that being sought after.
should have listened to wei aun and start edc-ing a gps.. sigh.. words or wisdom, unheeded.. bring no light to the one's whose eyes are closed.
life's like that isn't it?
not just physically topographically lost.. but sometimes we get lost mentally... in studies, working hard but not achieving the results in proportionate ration. emotionally, finding core desires of the heart in the mess of relationships with most likely the wrong person. worst... spiritually, knowing the destination but not using the navigation.
when i was walking to find sib likas, i walked in one way (which was right) but then my mind had doubts, so i turned around.. i dislike retracing my footsteps on paths already traveled, call it ego or whatever, i like to come down the other side of the hill and not walk back down what has been climbed.. but life's like that, we make mistakes and if we don't find the humility/thick-skin-face to admit we might be wrong, we'll just keep walking down the wrong path.... so yeah, but then i had doubts again, or rather my mind told me its logically the other way.. so i turned around.... again... and asked some road side workers for direction..
the wonder's of asking people who know stuff...
anyways, that aside of re-facing something already gone through, i wonder why i'm always stuck at elementary truths, its like i've never learnt my lesson, always walking back and fourth, back and fourth... getting lost. and repeating my vomit eating experiences.
no. i believe that some mistakes have to be made to be learned. some lessons just cant be taught. people have to go through hardships for our mind to be made well.... harden?
good thing about being a child of God is, He's got a omnilevel phd in Counseling always being there for us and there's a Manual for us to use, a good Guidebook.. so that 5 minute walks dont have to become 2 hour ones.
"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path"
didn't really prepare.. so much for "prius paratus laurus"
and got lost... a few times... but who doesn't right?
i got lost trying to find my way to the chancellors hall .. twice.. i got lost trying to find sib likas, really badly... as in like i stopped 5 minutes away from my destination but walked the total opposite way, making the whole trip there 2 hours long.
it was a big loop, but i ended up in the destination that being sought after.
should have listened to wei aun and start edc-ing a gps.. sigh.. words or wisdom, unheeded.. bring no light to the one's whose eyes are closed.
life's like that isn't it?
not just physically topographically lost.. but sometimes we get lost mentally... in studies, working hard but not achieving the results in proportionate ration. emotionally, finding core desires of the heart in the mess of relationships with most likely the wrong person. worst... spiritually, knowing the destination but not using the navigation.
when i was walking to find sib likas, i walked in one way (which was right) but then my mind had doubts, so i turned around.. i dislike retracing my footsteps on paths already traveled, call it ego or whatever, i like to come down the other side of the hill and not walk back down what has been climbed.. but life's like that, we make mistakes and if we don't find the humility/thick-skin-face to admit we might be wrong, we'll just keep walking down the wrong path.... so yeah, but then i had doubts again, or rather my mind told me its logically the other way.. so i turned around.... again... and asked some road side workers for direction..
the wonder's of asking people who know stuff...
anyways, that aside of re-facing something already gone through, i wonder why i'm always stuck at elementary truths, its like i've never learnt my lesson, always walking back and fourth, back and fourth... getting lost. and repeating my vomit eating experiences.
no. i believe that some mistakes have to be made to be learned. some lessons just cant be taught. people have to go through hardships for our mind to be made well.... harden?
good thing about being a child of God is, He's got a omnilevel phd in Counseling always being there for us and there's a Manual for us to use, a good Guidebook.. so that 5 minute walks dont have to become 2 hour ones.
"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path"
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Black or White? A or B?
if neither end is good, why choose to be/remain there
"I feel a strong desire to tell you -- and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me -- which of these two errors [Totalitarian and Individualist] is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs -- pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors." - C.S. Lewis
thanks to Blake for sharing on FB.
so yeah this kinda thing pretty much is tells me that i cant use "Opposites have to exist for things(it contrast) to have definition" for most this post. i think its healthy to be in the middle, a grey zone in things. having a balance of when to show grace and when to practice justice.
something interesting from the captivating book.
"When a man goes bad, every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. fallen men tend to sin in one of two ways. He either becomes a passive weak, silent man -strength surrendered, gone away- or he becomes a violent , driven man-strength unglued, gone bad.
when a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. she becomes a dominating, controlling woman -or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstances." - excerpt
hmm.. but as a guy, i do like fighting. like physical martial art grappling sorta thing. i guess i just have to control it so that it doesn't get out of hand right? after all, we need to fight for the things that we believe in. it is inside us to wage war, but wage it for a good reason and in the right manner. i also like taking time to be alone, strength gone away? i dont think so.. its more like, recharging for the next fight to come =D so yup, i guess its the skill/wisdom/discernment on how to balance both sides out so that i dont tip the see-saw to an extremity... like beating up random people in fits of rage or sitting quietly sulking in the corner thinking the world doesnt care about me and i can go kill myself aka depression.
plenty of example i could assume about the girl's scenario, but i aint a girl, i have never been through it as one, and will probably never know who it really feels to go through it as one, so gonna skip expounding on that. least i crap up something untrue and get haters =P (any female out there that would like to share your view on this matter?). but one thing i can tell, girls that take charge usually get things done =) what would the world do without them....haha
but if its one thing i've learn, i know i should not generalize. so no prejudice, no speculations... no "this generally applies to every one" (but i do agree it does to some, if not most at a certain degree, especially about the guys part)
this post has two entirely different topics. the top part was about negative errors in pairs. both being bad. the lower is about 2 paths of being the consequence of the Fall. hmmm... i guess learning to balance on the see-saw in the park as a kid has its lesson in life.
"I feel a strong desire to tell you -- and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me -- which of these two errors [Totalitarian and Individualist] is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs -- pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors." - C.S. Lewis
thanks to Blake for sharing on FB.
so yeah this kinda thing pretty much is tells me that i cant use "Opposites have to exist for things(it contrast) to have definition" for most this post. i think its healthy to be in the middle, a grey zone in things. having a balance of when to show grace and when to practice justice.
something interesting from the captivating book.
"When a man goes bad, every man has in some way gone bad after the Fall, what is most deeply marred is his strength. fallen men tend to sin in one of two ways. He either becomes a passive weak, silent man -strength surrendered, gone away- or he becomes a violent , driven man-strength unglued, gone bad.
when a woman falls from grace, what is most deeply marred is her tender vulnerability, beauty that invites to life. she becomes a dominating, controlling woman -or a desolate, needy, mousy woman. Or some odd combination of both, depending on her circumstances." - excerpt
hmm.. but as a guy, i do like fighting. like physical martial art grappling sorta thing. i guess i just have to control it so that it doesn't get out of hand right? after all, we need to fight for the things that we believe in. it is inside us to wage war, but wage it for a good reason and in the right manner. i also like taking time to be alone, strength gone away? i dont think so.. its more like, recharging for the next fight to come =D so yup, i guess its the skill/wisdom/discernment on how to balance both sides out so that i dont tip the see-saw to an extremity... like beating up random people in fits of rage or sitting quietly sulking in the corner thinking the world doesnt care about me and i can go kill myself aka depression.
plenty of example i could assume about the girl's scenario, but i aint a girl, i have never been through it as one, and will probably never know who it really feels to go through it as one, so gonna skip expounding on that. least i crap up something untrue and get haters =P (any female out there that would like to share your view on this matter?). but one thing i can tell, girls that take charge usually get things done =) what would the world do without them....haha
but if its one thing i've learn, i know i should not generalize. so no prejudice, no speculations... no "this generally applies to every one" (but i do agree it does to some, if not most at a certain degree, especially about the guys part)
this post has two entirely different topics. the top part was about negative errors in pairs. both being bad. the lower is about 2 paths of being the consequence of the Fall. hmmm... i guess learning to balance on the see-saw in the park as a kid has its lesson in life.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
laos
“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves,
when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little,
when we arrive safely because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess,
we have lost our thirst for the waters of life, having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity, and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas, where storms will show your mastery, where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizon of our hopes, and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love. This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ. " - Sir Francis Drake
thanks Sarah for posting this on facebook.
btw i just came back from laos, i have to say it was an eye opening experience. it was a good 15 days of getting out of normal life. hopefully life will not be the same after this journey.
when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little,
when we arrive safely because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess,
we have lost our thirst for the waters of life, having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity, and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas, where storms will show your mastery, where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizon of our hopes, and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love. This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ. " - Sir Francis Drake
thanks Sarah for posting this on facebook.
btw i just came back from laos, i have to say it was an eye opening experience. it was a good 15 days of getting out of normal life. hopefully life will not be the same after this journey.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
triathlon
so went to PD for my first international/olympic distance triathlon.
really a fun experience. so many things to learn
went down there for 3days two nights with josh and syanon
would just like to say a few thanks to these people cause without em this wouldn't have been:
dad/mom: for the "sponsorship" and allowance =D
syanon: for starting off this whole thing about doing this
joshua: support crew =P
justin ng: for his beloved polygon 300 helios (really couldn't have done it with out a rodie)
kerwiin: for bike tools
friends and family for the encouragements and tips: Cheok Gheen, Judy Liew, Claire Andrews and many others
overall it was a delightful experience cause all that was in my mind was just to finish the race, even tough not first place but at a nice calm pace.
night before: carbo loading dinner, didn't stuff myself full due to meeting two wonderful people judy liew and claire. gave quite useful advice and talked abt life, addiction, being hooked and hardcore about running. these kinda community is quite interesting. the best meal was: the herbal chicken soup
the swim: hardest part in terms on technique. never really trained this.. and pools are so different from open waters. got slapped on the butt and kicked in the face. found someone's RFID tag floating, poor dude. seniors over took me. salt water in the mouth made me thirsty. forgot to bring my goggles (thanks syanon for lending me yours) and felt the weakest here.
transition: beach run was soso. saw josh and syanon cheering on.. took a nice long bath at the showers... no rush.. left them.. felt i wasn't clean enough and went back to shower again xD at the bike rack, wish i had place a bottle of water there. changed into cycling shorts and a singlet.. boy i felt so naked just wearing a swimming trunk while all the others had 2XU tri suits.
the cycle: most fun part, cause it required actively making fun decisions on what to do with the bike. rodies are super fast and different from mtb's (respect those who used them). thank God mange to get the right timing out of the swim to catch a pack of cyclist. always tried to draft/slip-stream a 6 footer or fat dude =P the shifters were so fun to play with and the ultegra cranks were uber stiff. thanks for remembering the padded pants kerwiin. almost died when taking the water from the rack, cause it got caught in the break cable. quite adrenaline. ppl crashed at the u-turn point. downed 2 powergels. followed the pack till 5 km more to the end, then they sprinted off... decided not to follow and go at own pace.
transition: really wish i had water. owh wait they have water stations =D changed out of the padded tights to something more loose. ate half a bar or banana flavored powerbar. slowly walked and drank =P
the run: hardest part in terms of cramping. took things with alternating runs and walks. had an actal tablet but decided not to eat it, scared of indigestion. drank too much water, felt like puking. (but thankfully mange to hold it all in). met wonderful and encouraging people on the way. how nice. downed two gels.
the ending: push too hard, cramped like frankenstein. thanks for joshua supporting me to walk off. rested and got back to standing. mange to bump into judy just before leaving. hope i can go for The Most Beautiful Thing next time =)
venue: cozzie hotel is kinda bad. towels stink, no air-cond remote , it was always at 16. toilet didn't have working exhaust fan, beds and pillows weren't firm. haha so many complains but what i said was: its just a place to sleep and shower, most of the time we would be out. and staying with people under the roof really brings out the character or a person. dear God, please sustain me.
after PD we went down to melaka to let syanon try out satay celup.
then drove back up to PJ. joshua took the first half, then swapped cause he was getting tired. so i took the wheel, taught i could be wide awake and fully concentrated when behind the wheel... first time i almost fell asleep while driving =P
next trip bring: checklist, portable chair, umbrella, book to read.
thank you God. was a delightful trip and eye opening too
really a fun experience. so many things to learn
went down there for 3days two nights with josh and syanon
would just like to say a few thanks to these people cause without em this wouldn't have been:
dad/mom: for the "sponsorship" and allowance =D
syanon: for starting off this whole thing about doing this
joshua: support crew =P
justin ng: for his beloved polygon 300 helios (really couldn't have done it with out a rodie)
kerwiin: for bike tools
friends and family for the encouragements and tips: Cheok Gheen, Judy Liew, Claire Andrews and many others
overall it was a delightful experience cause all that was in my mind was just to finish the race, even tough not first place but at a nice calm pace.
night before: carbo loading dinner, didn't stuff myself full due to meeting two wonderful people judy liew and claire. gave quite useful advice and talked abt life, addiction, being hooked and hardcore about running. these kinda community is quite interesting. the best meal was: the herbal chicken soup
the swim: hardest part in terms on technique. never really trained this.. and pools are so different from open waters. got slapped on the butt and kicked in the face. found someone's RFID tag floating, poor dude. seniors over took me. salt water in the mouth made me thirsty. forgot to bring my goggles (thanks syanon for lending me yours) and felt the weakest here.
transition: beach run was soso. saw josh and syanon cheering on.. took a nice long bath at the showers... no rush.. left them.. felt i wasn't clean enough and went back to shower again xD at the bike rack, wish i had place a bottle of water there. changed into cycling shorts and a singlet.. boy i felt so naked just wearing a swimming trunk while all the others had 2XU tri suits.
the cycle: most fun part, cause it required actively making fun decisions on what to do with the bike. rodies are super fast and different from mtb's (respect those who used them). thank God mange to get the right timing out of the swim to catch a pack of cyclist. always tried to draft/slip-stream a 6 footer or fat dude =P the shifters were so fun to play with and the ultegra cranks were uber stiff. thanks for remembering the padded pants kerwiin. almost died when taking the water from the rack, cause it got caught in the break cable. quite adrenaline. ppl crashed at the u-turn point. downed 2 powergels. followed the pack till 5 km more to the end, then they sprinted off... decided not to follow and go at own pace.
transition: really wish i had water. owh wait they have water stations =D changed out of the padded tights to something more loose. ate half a bar or banana flavored powerbar. slowly walked and drank =P
the run: hardest part in terms of cramping. took things with alternating runs and walks. had an actal tablet but decided not to eat it, scared of indigestion. drank too much water, felt like puking. (but thankfully mange to hold it all in). met wonderful and encouraging people on the way. how nice. downed two gels.
the ending: push too hard, cramped like frankenstein. thanks for joshua supporting me to walk off. rested and got back to standing. mange to bump into judy just before leaving. hope i can go for The Most Beautiful Thing next time =)
venue: cozzie hotel is kinda bad. towels stink, no air-cond remote , it was always at 16. toilet didn't have working exhaust fan, beds and pillows weren't firm. haha so many complains but what i said was: its just a place to sleep and shower, most of the time we would be out. and staying with people under the roof really brings out the character or a person. dear God, please sustain me.
after PD we went down to melaka to let syanon try out satay celup.
then drove back up to PJ. joshua took the first half, then swapped cause he was getting tired. so i took the wheel, taught i could be wide awake and fully concentrated when behind the wheel... first time i almost fell asleep while driving =P
next trip bring: checklist, portable chair, umbrella, book to read.
thank you God. was a delightful trip and eye opening too
Thursday, June 27, 2013
religion is baloney. God is not.
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." -Mark 9:42
so, love is not-self seeking eh?
who told you that and why?
Jesus? is He even real? ... wait.. am i blaspheming? who even gave the definition for the word 'blaspheme'?
why did he do it?
some say the Bible was written with a political agenda, that it was altered from its original Greek, Aramaic, and blablabla. that religion is used by smart people to govern over lesser thinking ones. that it is used to gain power, wealth and fame. that it is a spiritual-crutch for those who are week. those who cant face life on their own, and need to rely on something 'greater' than them because.... they're just not great enough.
and that the issue of since we were thought from young about things like "love is not self seeking", we were conditioned sub-consciously, brain-washed to have this mind set so deeply embedded that.... what ever the Bible says is real. and that, if we were born in any other place we would be that particular religion. plenty of people have done well off enough on their own with out believe in God... or have they?
so think.
why did i even post this up? why did i even ask you this question? well, if it would help: it is not to discourage you, of set you off track or anything like that. but instead, is what you believe in real?
to me, the answer for the first two questions posted would be: Jesus my God told me that love is not self-seeking through the Bible, whatever version it is, it is still God's Word. yeah you can call it a holy book or mythical fairy tales. but truth will be truth. and the reason why this historic account of Jesus speaking through His actions, His death on the cross, is essentially why i believe that it is not baloney made up by man to control me. that reason is because the fact of the matter is: love is not self-seeking.
God is love. what other way to show it than to walk the talk. just look around you, your friends, your brothers, sisters, parents... humans. who has the life that was meant to be lived the way it was made for?
those who love.
Jesus died on the cross so that you can..blablabla.. you've heard it before... countless of times. He can help you because He loves you.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -the ever quoted john 3:16. or is it?
so, love is not-self seeking eh?
who told you that and why?
Jesus? is He even real? ... wait.. am i blaspheming? who even gave the definition for the word 'blaspheme'?
why did he do it?
some say the Bible was written with a political agenda, that it was altered from its original Greek, Aramaic, and blablabla. that religion is used by smart people to govern over lesser thinking ones. that it is used to gain power, wealth and fame. that it is a spiritual-crutch for those who are week. those who cant face life on their own, and need to rely on something 'greater' than them because.... they're just not great enough.
and that the issue of since we were thought from young about things like "love is not self seeking", we were conditioned sub-consciously, brain-washed to have this mind set so deeply embedded that.... what ever the Bible says is real. and that, if we were born in any other place we would be that particular religion. plenty of people have done well off enough on their own with out believe in God... or have they?
so think.
why did i even post this up? why did i even ask you this question? well, if it would help: it is not to discourage you, of set you off track or anything like that. but instead, is what you believe in real?
to me, the answer for the first two questions posted would be: Jesus my God told me that love is not self-seeking through the Bible, whatever version it is, it is still God's Word. yeah you can call it a holy book or mythical fairy tales. but truth will be truth. and the reason why this historic account of Jesus speaking through His actions, His death on the cross, is essentially why i believe that it is not baloney made up by man to control me. that reason is because the fact of the matter is: love is not self-seeking.
God is love. what other way to show it than to walk the talk. just look around you, your friends, your brothers, sisters, parents... humans. who has the life that was meant to be lived the way it was made for?
those who love.
Jesus died on the cross so that you can..blablabla.. you've heard it before... countless of times. He can help you because He loves you.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -the ever quoted john 3:16. or is it?
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
the cafe of ministry?
so i started working part time in espressolab.
there must be a purpose, learnt not only how to make coffee =P
this one customer comes up and talks... non stop
about... christianology, Bart D. Ehrman, begin born into religion and ask the question:
If there is a God, why does He allow suffering?
sigh... how long will people dwell upon this age old post-modernism excuse.
Hardships are to show God cares.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children"- Hebrews 12:7
"Conflict shows I still care for you. If I kept quiet, I no longer bother"-JC Hoo
thank you, for being such a wonderful friend ( ;
there must be a purpose, learnt not only how to make coffee =P
this one customer comes up and talks... non stop
about... christianology, Bart D. Ehrman, begin born into religion and ask the question:
If there is a God, why does He allow suffering?
sigh... how long will people dwell upon this age old post-modernism excuse.
Hardships are to show God cares.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children"- Hebrews 12:7
"Conflict shows I still care for you. If I kept quiet, I no longer bother"-JC Hoo
thank you, for being such a wonderful friend ( ;
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
life to comfortable?
so, what's life really all about if there wasn't any suffering to endure?
"be careful what you wish for"
it was a friday night. i just had my 10 to 6 shift at esspressolab. cycled over to petaling utama for badminton minsitry. wow, there was a girl who couldn't even hit the shuttle. never having been to a professional training course.. teaching the young girl to serve was like asking her to run before she could even walk or talk... sigh.. back to basics... put on the boots of peace... patience, take it slow... and smile =) ahhh the joy of teaching such simple matters, is one that could be taken as frustration or unspeakable delight. you get to choose.
next up, after having dinner, kuey teow hailam.. which had super crazy alot of clili padi inside. i was cycling home.. on a dimly lit path, some dude stole a drain cover, my bike went in and hit hard... my front wheel was ok, but from previous experiences i knew my back wheel wont be... i looked behind, crossed my fingers and hope to die, true enough.. it was puncture... oO
of all the places, right outside petaling utama, wayyyyy off from my home, the distance back would be.. insane... carried my bike on the shoulder.. walked for 1 km and thought . well this is pretty stupid, i could just push my bike... sigh.. its times like this i wish i had brought a spare tube or patch repair kit... so much for the scout motto: "be prepared".
pushed it pass the 3 roundabouts. put my thumb out for a hitch hike lift... well i guess i couldn't blame anyone who didn't want to fetch a dripping sweaty boy and his bike due to the fear of getting his scott clean chairs dirty.. even if it was a pickup truck... =(
seriously.. the whole way.. not one person stopped by to help?? the craps wrong with you strangers xD
bought a red-bull at a closed petrol station, drank most of it, there was still some left inside, it slipped from my fingers and spilled on the tar road...... shucks ..... my sugar drink.... =(
anyways.. there was one car that slowed down.. that was when i was walking up the graveyard raod at kg tungku.. haha.. must have scared the blood out of those passing by that road... who in the right mind would pick up anything trying to hitch hike there...
well got to the top of the hill... i tried to jog all the way with the bike... but i must say i did walk a few stretches too.. well it'll be good training for the triathlon =) but when i reached the petrol station at the top of the hill, my legs just gave in a crapped up... haha it's been such a long time since i felt them like this.. the last was the 30th km of the sckl marathon.... i couldn't even stand up straight ... the were so pain and felt as hard as rocks... i just collapsed at the side of the road.... tried to stand up, and just screamed in agony.. boy, i've never felt such a genuine scream in my life =D
that feeling of suffering was just... amazing
lying down in the dark... thank God no car squished me..
so took a break.. tried to hitch a ride, still no luck... was crazy thirsty, drank some free water from the petrol stations tap beside the air pump...... air pump.. flat tire.. how ironic ..
basically i got home safe... and had the best sleep of my life...
so sorry 10th may was such a busy day, if not i would have dropped by with a brithday cake =) (just kidding, i didn't even remember it was your birthday) =P
"be careful what you wish for"
it was a friday night. i just had my 10 to 6 shift at esspressolab. cycled over to petaling utama for badminton minsitry. wow, there was a girl who couldn't even hit the shuttle. never having been to a professional training course.. teaching the young girl to serve was like asking her to run before she could even walk or talk... sigh.. back to basics... put on the boots of peace... patience, take it slow... and smile =) ahhh the joy of teaching such simple matters, is one that could be taken as frustration or unspeakable delight. you get to choose.
next up, after having dinner, kuey teow hailam.. which had super crazy alot of clili padi inside. i was cycling home.. on a dimly lit path, some dude stole a drain cover, my bike went in and hit hard... my front wheel was ok, but from previous experiences i knew my back wheel wont be... i looked behind, crossed my fingers and hope to die, true enough.. it was puncture... oO
of all the places, right outside petaling utama, wayyyyy off from my home, the distance back would be.. insane... carried my bike on the shoulder.. walked for 1 km and thought . well this is pretty stupid, i could just push my bike... sigh.. its times like this i wish i had brought a spare tube or patch repair kit... so much for the scout motto: "be prepared".
pushed it pass the 3 roundabouts. put my thumb out for a hitch hike lift... well i guess i couldn't blame anyone who didn't want to fetch a dripping sweaty boy and his bike due to the fear of getting his scott clean chairs dirty.. even if it was a pickup truck... =(
seriously.. the whole way.. not one person stopped by to help?? the craps wrong with you strangers xD
bought a red-bull at a closed petrol station, drank most of it, there was still some left inside, it slipped from my fingers and spilled on the tar road...... shucks ..... my sugar drink.... =(
anyways.. there was one car that slowed down.. that was when i was walking up the graveyard raod at kg tungku.. haha.. must have scared the blood out of those passing by that road... who in the right mind would pick up anything trying to hitch hike there...
well got to the top of the hill... i tried to jog all the way with the bike... but i must say i did walk a few stretches too.. well it'll be good training for the triathlon =) but when i reached the petrol station at the top of the hill, my legs just gave in a crapped up... haha it's been such a long time since i felt them like this.. the last was the 30th km of the sckl marathon.... i couldn't even stand up straight ... the were so pain and felt as hard as rocks... i just collapsed at the side of the road.... tried to stand up, and just screamed in agony.. boy, i've never felt such a genuine scream in my life =D
that feeling of suffering was just... amazing
lying down in the dark... thank God no car squished me..
so took a break.. tried to hitch a ride, still no luck... was crazy thirsty, drank some free water from the petrol stations tap beside the air pump...... air pump.. flat tire.. how ironic ..
basically i got home safe... and had the best sleep of my life...
so sorry 10th may was such a busy day, if not i would have dropped by with a brithday cake =) (just kidding, i didn't even remember it was your birthday) =P
Friday, May 10, 2013
GE 13
Lord, I've prayed that Your will be done.
I am a believer that You are a God who listens.
Because You're real.
The outcome, I accept.
Not my will but Your's be done.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
I am a believer that You are a God who listens.
Because You're real.
The outcome, I accept.
Not my will but Your's be done.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
why i love riding
There are so many things that breaks God's heart.
how could i go through everyday life being oblivious to this fact. i always wondered what life would be like not knowing God. not knowing that there is a great being out there whose care for us caused His very life.
to just walk, to not feel, to not burden in the heart, to not be obligated.
passion for the lost compassion for the needy.
thats why i love cycling. with a bike, one can stop anytime anywhere anyplace that most vehicles cant.
was cycling to petaling utama one day... stopped by at a bus stop opposite assumption church .. to drink some water.. one of the very few times i actually felt dry and thirsty cycling on my way.. since the previous times it was always raining and i could sip in sky juice once in a while...
there was a dude sitting there too. no slippers ... shaggy cloths... unkempt hair... something inside me.. no, not something.. i knew what it was.. it was the Spirits prompting.. said.. go over and talk to him...
i hesitated... and then i felt the prompting again, not wanting to wait the third time, i went over... and chatted.. his name was Ram, he came here for mass, but there wasn't any that night.. he needed cash to get back onto the busy... he didn't have enough and needed 4.50
i walked back to my bacg, took out my wallet, and there inside stood one fat 20 bucks.... i felt so rich and blessed at that moment.... 20 bucks....... i felt rich with 20 bucks..... sigh, anwyays didn't have small change... and i knew if i gave this yellow note to him, i would have no cash later to eat dinner with...
screw dinner, this guy looks skinnier than me xD
walked over, gave him the 20 bucks, a hug and a News everlasting that will never run out of grace, mercy and all we need for providence in life.
and beheld tears stream down his yellowish eyes.
God's love, burns brighter than the sun.
more beautiful than words could ever say.
This endless love, shinning over all,
it leads me to your glory everlasting..
awake my soul, open my eyes
to see the countless things in this nation,
which i pass by everyday,
that breaks Your heart.
how could i go through everyday life being oblivious to this fact. i always wondered what life would be like not knowing God. not knowing that there is a great being out there whose care for us caused His very life.
to just walk, to not feel, to not burden in the heart, to not be obligated.
passion for the lost compassion for the needy.
thats why i love cycling. with a bike, one can stop anytime anywhere anyplace that most vehicles cant.
was cycling to petaling utama one day... stopped by at a bus stop opposite assumption church .. to drink some water.. one of the very few times i actually felt dry and thirsty cycling on my way.. since the previous times it was always raining and i could sip in sky juice once in a while...
there was a dude sitting there too. no slippers ... shaggy cloths... unkempt hair... something inside me.. no, not something.. i knew what it was.. it was the Spirits prompting.. said.. go over and talk to him...
i hesitated... and then i felt the prompting again, not wanting to wait the third time, i went over... and chatted.. his name was Ram, he came here for mass, but there wasn't any that night.. he needed cash to get back onto the busy... he didn't have enough and needed 4.50
i walked back to my bacg, took out my wallet, and there inside stood one fat 20 bucks.... i felt so rich and blessed at that moment.... 20 bucks....... i felt rich with 20 bucks..... sigh, anwyays didn't have small change... and i knew if i gave this yellow note to him, i would have no cash later to eat dinner with...
screw dinner, this guy looks skinnier than me xD
walked over, gave him the 20 bucks, a hug and a News everlasting that will never run out of grace, mercy and all we need for providence in life.
and beheld tears stream down his yellowish eyes.
God's love, burns brighter than the sun.
more beautiful than words could ever say.
This endless love, shinning over all,
it leads me to your glory everlasting..
awake my soul, open my eyes
to see the countless things in this nation,
which i pass by everyday,
that breaks Your heart.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
preppers.
theory: the idea of prepping is a sub-conscious trick to get people to start back contribution in and as a community and prevent the economic collapse as predicted if people would just remain as empty-self consumers by instilling fear of the future. it is a pre-event prevention solution. (if it works) =P
i think its good that people are prepping for an economic downfall.
why so? because if they can grow their own vegetables, sustain thier own lives and a few love ones around them, generate electricity and live off the grid, then the burden on the nation to support this growth woul be lessened.
if everyone prepped, then it'll just be like in the old caveman days where people could sustain themselves.
ofcause, i think the consumers out there and thier power of purchasing is wayyy more than the preppers contribution to society. we just consume too much to live in comfort and luxury. and not like prepping actually gives you enough produce to sustain plenty other people.. (although i've seen some who can really make lots of wine from uneaten grapes and grow veggies and fish via aquaculture enough to sell to others, thus making thier own business at the same time in this post-modern era)
yup make money while prepping for the end, not bad eh? =D
well i wonder who actually came up first with the idea of 'prepping' . maybe it was an economist who foresaw the future if people just keep on consuming and jacking up the dept instead of working hard and being part of the community, bearing thier own weight. but to get the idea across to the common people, he choose to communicate by a means of instilling fear. fear is what drives people sometimes. so then, without knowing, the people who get scared actually start working hard, ie building nice homes, growing food stuff..rearing.... goats? who would ever rear a goat for milk and learn the process of coagulating it into beautiful cheese (i lovee cheese! especially in burgers) =D. if i told you to go rear a goat for no particular reason, would you? i didn't think so
so yeah, this is another of my random theories with no hypothesis, evidence, firm examples whatsoever.. just a... thought =P
i think its good that people are prepping for an economic downfall.
why so? because if they can grow their own vegetables, sustain thier own lives and a few love ones around them, generate electricity and live off the grid, then the burden on the nation to support this growth woul be lessened.
if everyone prepped, then it'll just be like in the old caveman days where people could sustain themselves.
ofcause, i think the consumers out there and thier power of purchasing is wayyy more than the preppers contribution to society. we just consume too much to live in comfort and luxury. and not like prepping actually gives you enough produce to sustain plenty other people.. (although i've seen some who can really make lots of wine from uneaten grapes and grow veggies and fish via aquaculture enough to sell to others, thus making thier own business at the same time in this post-modern era)
yup make money while prepping for the end, not bad eh? =D
well i wonder who actually came up first with the idea of 'prepping' . maybe it was an economist who foresaw the future if people just keep on consuming and jacking up the dept instead of working hard and being part of the community, bearing thier own weight. but to get the idea across to the common people, he choose to communicate by a means of instilling fear. fear is what drives people sometimes. so then, without knowing, the people who get scared actually start working hard, ie building nice homes, growing food stuff..rearing.... goats? who would ever rear a goat for milk and learn the process of coagulating it into beautiful cheese (i lovee cheese! especially in burgers) =D. if i told you to go rear a goat for no particular reason, would you? i didn't think so
so yeah, this is another of my random theories with no hypothesis, evidence, firm examples whatsoever.. just a... thought =P
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
this prayer i pray with all my... heart?
dilemma - to watch a free movie premier with special company and have a good satisfying time. or to travel far to a hot hall and observe a game of badminton between tiny kids.
well wasn't a very fair statement now was that?
- to gratify the desires of personal selfish happiness or to sacrifice a fleshly pleasure to get a chance to minister the most important everlasting message into children's lives whom have yet to know Him.
... jeez ... i guess praying "Lord, i want to grow closer to You" doesn't get answered in a one time gift, but instead a chance to choose in a situation.
situation presented.. to be (heavenly minded ) or not to be....
...sigh... eternity in mind?
phillip yancy: "one does not gain life by acquiring more, but instead by giving it away, and in the process finding it."
true? no? relative? ... lets find out
Monday, April 01, 2013
Cheap Grace
"Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Now at all!" -Paul
so then what's the whole point of this post? lets just read a short portion of the scripture, romans 3:5-8
But if our unrighteousness brings out God’s righteousness more clearly, what shall we say? That God is unjust in bringing his wrath on us? (I am using a human argument.) Certainly not! If that were so, how could God judge the world? 7 Someone might argue, “If my falsehood enhances God’s truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?” Why not say—as some slanderously claim that we say—“Let us do evil that good may result”? Their condemnation is just!
people who talk like that, i guess.. believe in the gospel of judas. whereby it is part of the plan to play the bad guys role so that there can be a good guy. just like how "Opposites have to exist for things(it contrast) to have definition". right.. just like how the villains anonymous in the movie wreck-it ralph said
"I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. I will always be me." - bad guy oath
i liked today's easter sermon, where yew meng told us how satan might have thought he had gotten God into a lose-lose situation after adam's fall. where if God forgave adam, he would not be just and holy. but if he did not do so, humanity would be separated from God forever. but yeap, God always wins. a hearty amen to that.
people ask: "why can't God just forgive sins? he is God after all"
“If anybody imagines that God can simply forgive us as we forgive others, that person has not yet considered the seriousness of sin or literally what a heavy weight sin is; has not realized the greatness of the one we have sinned against. And how His character is at stake here in His response to sin.” -Anselm
there's no such thing as cheap grace. happy easter Jesus said "it is finished" on the cross over and over again.. so be reconciled to God today =D
the question is not "have i received salvation because of the sinner's prayer" but "am i following Jesus"
p.s. sorry there are so many missing gaps in this post, i know the paragraphs don't link, and there could be more explanation added in between. if you really did want to know more, you would. you just would
so then what's the whole point of this post? lets just read a short portion of the scripture, romans 3:5-8
But if our unrighteousness brings out God’s righteousness more clearly, what shall we say? That God is unjust in bringing his wrath on us? (I am using a human argument.) Certainly not! If that were so, how could God judge the world? 7 Someone might argue, “If my falsehood enhances God’s truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?” Why not say—as some slanderously claim that we say—“Let us do evil that good may result”? Their condemnation is just!
people who talk like that, i guess.. believe in the gospel of judas. whereby it is part of the plan to play the bad guys role so that there can be a good guy. just like how "Opposites have to exist for things(it contrast) to have definition". right.. just like how the villains anonymous in the movie wreck-it ralph said
"I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. I will always be me." - bad guy oath
i liked today's easter sermon, where yew meng told us how satan might have thought he had gotten God into a lose-lose situation after adam's fall. where if God forgave adam, he would not be just and holy. but if he did not do so, humanity would be separated from God forever. but yeap, God always wins. a hearty amen to that.
people ask: "why can't God just forgive sins? he is God after all"
“If anybody imagines that God can simply forgive us as we forgive others, that person has not yet considered the seriousness of sin or literally what a heavy weight sin is; has not realized the greatness of the one we have sinned against. And how His character is at stake here in His response to sin.” -Anselm
there's no such thing as cheap grace. happy easter Jesus said "it is finished" on the cross over and over again.. so be reconciled to God today =D
the question is not "have i received salvation because of the sinner's prayer" but "am i following Jesus"
p.s. sorry there are so many missing gaps in this post, i know the paragraphs don't link, and there could be more explanation added in between. if you really did want to know more, you would. you just would
Saturday, March 30, 2013
by the beach
why would people need churches,
or even to to the temples,
to pray and read their vows,
and follow the same old bows.
to pour the tea in a cup,
to walk in circles around the fire,
or do any for that matter,
to make the officiation better?
well vows are made and stuff is paid
set by some old dude whose probably dead,
i wonder if they actually memorized it in the head,
or just followed what the pastor said.
i wonder how simple it can be,
maybe on a beach some where out there,
beside the ocean that has no memories,
and just a few friends who actually care.
to know that it is not the action of it,
that makes two become one,
its not just lighting the candles together,
but knowing two hearts are joined with each other.
i choose to love you,
even before i've met you,
putting in the ring on your finger,
is just a small part of the picture.
haha not as easy to be done than said,
with all the aunties and parents in this date
note: yeah yeah, i know there's such a thing called tradition and stuff. we've got to do our responsibilities as kids and the actions have some meanings to it
i love weddings
i love being involved with weddings,
its so fun and joy does abound.
no matter what the causes or reasons,
there is a purpose to be found.
yes its true that we can say,
looking at the past of people,
history does repeat itself if it may,
but who are we to predict the future.
generalizing was never a good thing,
assuming makes an ass of u and me,
sometimes just because of a fling,
there some much work to be done.
rushing is never a good thing,
especially when it comes to loving,
would you choose to love her in the heart,
even before the wedding ring.
so many rituals to do,
be it traditional or religious,
why do we have all this procedures,
what sense comes from following orders?
somethings are there for a purpose,
like counseling and stuff before the vow,
don't step into this deep water,
to find a stone tied to you now.
i love seeing weddings,
who doesn't.
"if anyone were to object,
do it now or forever hold his silence"
sometimes i wonder if anyone
could just stand up and shout
"DON'T DO IT NOW!"
we can never determine one's future,
the ending might be sweeter,
everyday is a chance to mature,
and its possible to swim in the water.
how lovely the wedding planner,
the girls who decorate the aisle,
they make such a beautiful banner,
even tough the time given is just a while.
yup, last minute preparations are cruel,
havoc is bound to appear,
so just hold your cool and understand,
some people have had a long day before hand.
a smiles on their faces i see,
but you can feel that it runs eerily,
something inside's a mystery,
ain't nothing can go so happily.
you just know it,
no matter how tired one may be,
the mask which looks like a perfect fit,
is one with thorns and a scribe.
pain means an experience to be gained,
hardships a chance to be tested,
would one be able to stand the drain,
and know that there is more to life mundane.
i choose to love God before her,
would she do the same,
working side by side together,
to achieve life aflame.
Paratus prius Laurus
its so fun and joy does abound.
no matter what the causes or reasons,
there is a purpose to be found.
yes its true that we can say,
looking at the past of people,
history does repeat itself if it may,
but who are we to predict the future.
generalizing was never a good thing,
assuming makes an ass of u and me,
sometimes just because of a fling,
there some much work to be done.
rushing is never a good thing,
especially when it comes to loving,
would you choose to love her in the heart,
even before the wedding ring.
so many rituals to do,
be it traditional or religious,
why do we have all this procedures,
what sense comes from following orders?
somethings are there for a purpose,
like counseling and stuff before the vow,
don't step into this deep water,
to find a stone tied to you now.
i love seeing weddings,
who doesn't.
"if anyone were to object,
do it now or forever hold his silence"
sometimes i wonder if anyone
could just stand up and shout
"DON'T DO IT NOW!"
we can never determine one's future,
the ending might be sweeter,
everyday is a chance to mature,
and its possible to swim in the water.
how lovely the wedding planner,
the girls who decorate the aisle,
they make such a beautiful banner,
even tough the time given is just a while.
yup, last minute preparations are cruel,
havoc is bound to appear,
so just hold your cool and understand,
some people have had a long day before hand.
a smiles on their faces i see,
but you can feel that it runs eerily,
something inside's a mystery,
ain't nothing can go so happily.
you just know it,
no matter how tired one may be,
the mask which looks like a perfect fit,
is one with thorns and a scribe.
pain means an experience to be gained,
hardships a chance to be tested,
would one be able to stand the drain,
and know that there is more to life mundane.
i choose to love God before her,
would she do the same,
working side by side together,
to achieve life aflame.
Paratus prius Laurus
secretary
Her eyes are really starry,
She'll get your documentary,
She'll make your life merry,
So vote ****** for Secretary!!
She looks quite tiny,
She could run for parliamentary,
but instead choose voluntary,
her tag line's quite funny.
note: a continuation
Thursday, March 28, 2013
this Flesh
The tongue is so evil,
should i cut it off.
These eyes are full of lust,
should i gorge them out?
This hands steal so many things,
This fingers are guilty with debauchery,
This legs are quick to evil,
These feet walk on accursed land.
"What is a tear, if not the
thawing of a frozen heart"
God created all things to be good,
So for You dear Lord, make em' good.
-no idea when i wrote this-
note: yeah i know "this" in stanza two is supposed to be "these" but this was what i wrote in the book... so yeah... find out its meaning .. i actually really didn't want to post this up. of fear that it would taint peoples perception of me.. but then again, how long can one hide, the things that will all come to light. i would rather confess the murder, than bury the bones in a closet of under the carpet... that one day it might come out to haunt me. but this i know, my Savior lives... and for all these He has ransomed me..
when i re-read the last stanza, i remembered why i wrote this.. it wasn't to remind my self or tell others about my sins.. (eh wait.. who said it was mine? it could be referring to anybody and people in general!!) ..now wehre was i... oh yeah...but instead, the whole purpose of writing this.. why why i should be writing anything at all... is to point back to Him at the end of the day.
Gloria in excelsis Deo
should i cut it off.
These eyes are full of lust,
should i gorge them out?
This hands steal so many things,
This fingers are guilty with debauchery,
This legs are quick to evil,
These feet walk on accursed land.
"What is a tear, if not the
thawing of a frozen heart"
God created all things to be good,
So for You dear Lord, make em' good.
-no idea when i wrote this-
note: yeah i know "this" in stanza two is supposed to be "these" but this was what i wrote in the book... so yeah... find out its meaning .. i actually really didn't want to post this up. of fear that it would taint peoples perception of me.. but then again, how long can one hide, the things that will all come to light. i would rather confess the murder, than bury the bones in a closet of under the carpet... that one day it might come out to haunt me. but this i know, my Savior lives... and for all these He has ransomed me..
when i re-read the last stanza, i remembered why i wrote this.. it wasn't to remind my self or tell others about my sins.. (eh wait.. who said it was mine? it could be referring to anybody and people in general!!) ..now wehre was i... oh yeah...but instead, the whole purpose of writing this.. why why i should be writing anything at all... is to point back to Him at the end of the day.
Gloria in excelsis Deo
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The Secret to sleeping
3 stages of sleep in life,
As a baby: we are forced to sleep when we don't want to
As an adult: we want to sleep but we can't
As an old person/teenage: we don't want to sleep but we do
There's so much to talk about sleep,
How it repairs the body, the biological clock, the sleep cycles.
How to get a better sleep: milk, breathing deep, slow music
some insomniacs even require drugs.
The hormone melatonin is the trick,
Don't play computer or look at your phone's bright screen,
it reduces the release of this key,
so does anxiety for tomorrows exam.
So trust in the Lord,
and He will grant rest,
His peace be upon you,
That you may sleep your best.
-written on 22nov2012-
note: i got the 1st paragraph from somewhere, but can't remember. hope you can have a good nites rest after reading this!! =D
As a baby: we are forced to sleep when we don't want to
As an adult: we want to sleep but we can't
As an old person/teenage: we don't want to sleep but we do
There's so much to talk about sleep,
How it repairs the body, the biological clock, the sleep cycles.
How to get a better sleep: milk, breathing deep, slow music
some insomniacs even require drugs.
The hormone melatonin is the trick,
Don't play computer or look at your phone's bright screen,
it reduces the release of this key,
so does anxiety for tomorrows exam.
So trust in the Lord,
and He will grant rest,
His peace be upon you,
That you may sleep your best.
-written on 22nov2012-
note: i got the 1st paragraph from somewhere, but can't remember. hope you can have a good nites rest after reading this!! =D
The Peak
A student has many stages,
From UPSR, PMR SPM to STPM
One weird thing about them,
is they hit the Peak at different points.
If one were to score 5A's in UPSR
The memory is retained so strongly,
It is hard to unlearn it all and
absorb the new format, what more information.
This, it is hard at PMR and SPM,
A student who did badly in UPSR,
can choose to hit the peak later,
Scoring much better at SPM.
Of cause there are those who are always at the peak,
and those who never tried to climb.
-written on 22nov2012-
author's note: now i know this is not entirely true, nor not true at all. it does bear some truth for some while nothing at all for others. when i was wring this i had in mind friends, whom i've seen do badly in the early parts of school but score the best in senior high. and there are those who score in primary but start flunking in high school... so yeah it all depends actually, if the person continues to work hard or become lazy. but sometimes its just a mental barrier kinda thing.
"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving" -Oliver Wendell Holmes
whenever we have achieved success, don't brood over it for long, keep on moving on. especially when a position of power has been gained.
From UPSR, PMR SPM to STPM
One weird thing about them,
is they hit the Peak at different points.
If one were to score 5A's in UPSR
The memory is retained so strongly,
It is hard to unlearn it all and
absorb the new format, what more information.
This, it is hard at PMR and SPM,
A student who did badly in UPSR,
can choose to hit the peak later,
Scoring much better at SPM.
Of cause there are those who are always at the peak,
and those who never tried to climb.
-written on 22nov2012-
author's note: now i know this is not entirely true, nor not true at all. it does bear some truth for some while nothing at all for others. when i was wring this i had in mind friends, whom i've seen do badly in the early parts of school but score the best in senior high. and there are those who score in primary but start flunking in high school... so yeah it all depends actually, if the person continues to work hard or become lazy. but sometimes its just a mental barrier kinda thing.
"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving" -Oliver Wendell Holmes
whenever we have achieved success, don't brood over it for long, keep on moving on. especially when a position of power has been gained.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Exams
Why do students get so stressed?
Studying like crazy for an exam.
Before hand there's so much uncertainty,
Something you should leave to God's hand.
Do your part,
and trust in your heart.
Whatever comes out in the paper,
is just some random luck.
Academic excellence does not determine life,
Though many a times it feels like it.
Surrounded by achievers and success,
One can only feel obliged to follow the skit.
Missing out the true calling,
We stick to a path too often,
Not daring to be adventuring,
Some take their life for this stupid thing.
-written on 16nov12-
author's note: basically the last line sums up what i didn't really like abt the pressure that could build up due to various exams in life.. not just academic things, but other everyday test we go though... suicide is .. erm.. the worst way to waste a life.
of cause the other part of this poem, is that we gotta do our part and not leave everything to God... thats called laziness, yet still find peace in knowing that not everything is in our control.. especially what questions are to come out... so, final words: may you find divine Peace in Him.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -phil 4:6-7
Studying like crazy for an exam.
Before hand there's so much uncertainty,
Something you should leave to God's hand.
Do your part,
and trust in your heart.
Whatever comes out in the paper,
is just some random luck.
Academic excellence does not determine life,
Though many a times it feels like it.
Surrounded by achievers and success,
One can only feel obliged to follow the skit.
Missing out the true calling,
We stick to a path too often,
Not daring to be adventuring,
Some take their life for this stupid thing.
-written on 16nov12-
author's note: basically the last line sums up what i didn't really like abt the pressure that could build up due to various exams in life.. not just academic things, but other everyday test we go though... suicide is .. erm.. the worst way to waste a life.
of cause the other part of this poem, is that we gotta do our part and not leave everything to God... thats called laziness, yet still find peace in knowing that not everything is in our control.. especially what questions are to come out... so, final words: may you find divine Peace in Him.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -phil 4:6-7
ICE BREAKER
A great mystery in life,
How playing games together can be,
The winner feels great,
the looser feels dead.
Team morale is something mystique,
How a single person who leads,
can change the whole team in peace,
without one, everyone just seems.. pissed
No leaders only followers,
the team stares at each other,
in boredom, thus they
lose out, and feel like... mush
If there was no loser,
There would be no winner,
so have some sportsmanship,
and smile for the friendship
-written on 16NOV12-
authors note: ok so maybe the 2nd and 3rd stanza didn't rhyme much. but owh well, atleast the last one wasn't so bad. the 3rd stanza was referring to a certain particular situation in a camp. there was this group of youngings that were just so tired (probably due to lack of sleep) .. and they were so crabby that they didn't even want to practice for the performance night, having no discussion what so ever, they just did some B grade item. sad rite.... group dynamics.. discern it.
authors note: ok so maybe the 2nd and 3rd stanza didn't rhyme much. but owh well, atleast the last one wasn't so bad. the 3rd stanza was referring to a certain particular situation in a camp. there was this group of youngings that were just so tired (probably due to lack of sleep) .. and they were so crabby that they didn't even want to practice for the performance night, having no discussion what so ever, they just did some B grade item. sad rite.... group dynamics.. discern it.
Friday, March 22, 2013
TEMPER
An utterly weird phenomena it is,
How an adolescence of certain age,
Gets some hormonal imbalance in the head,
And is pissed off at any random word said.
To surpass this evil urge inside me,
Was not an easy path to take,
to not let my tongue reign free,
but to keep on reasoning silently,
containing them in the head only.
-written on 15 nov 2012-
author's comments: hmm this was one of the much earlier tries at 'poetry' that i found written in some ancient book.. gonna post them up just for keeps sake. this particular one was a cin chai attempt and didn't have any nice flow to it. but yeah, i guess it helps me to speak my mind out. haven fun reading this collection =D btw its written a long long time ago accordnig to those dates, most of the things have passed and minght possibly not have anything to do with what i currently feel, but be sure it was something la at those moments.
How an adolescence of certain age,
Gets some hormonal imbalance in the head,
And is pissed off at any random word said.
To surpass this evil urge inside me,
Was not an easy path to take,
to not let my tongue reign free,
but to keep on reasoning silently,
containing them in the head only.
-written on 15 nov 2012-
author's comments: hmm this was one of the much earlier tries at 'poetry' that i found written in some ancient book.. gonna post them up just for keeps sake. this particular one was a cin chai attempt and didn't have any nice flow to it. but yeah, i guess it helps me to speak my mind out. haven fun reading this collection =D btw its written a long long time ago accordnig to those dates, most of the things have passed and minght possibly not have anything to do with what i currently feel, but be sure it was something la at those moments.
Monday, March 11, 2013
the end?
"you can't change the past, bear the consequences of the mistakes.
you can choose what to do in the present, its not what circumstance you're in, its how you'd respond
to influence the future... *insert funky line here* "
so yeah, everyone would have a different idea of what they want in the future rite?
certain dreams, goals, life purposes to achieve.
we'll all die in the end anyway. tough i do not look forward to the end physically (i really would like to enjoy life on earth), yet i wonder how paul could have said he longed to be with the Lord.
when will my soul ever have that great a desire. that everyday it would be a fresh one. hmmm..
"keep eternity in mind" .. heard it so many times. yet it is so hard to actually apply. why is it hard? shouldn't doing the right thing be easy? why is it so much simpler to indulge in sin and yet we have to strive and fight for righteousness... what really is the breast plate of righteousness that i'm teaching my small pre-teens group about...
so many questions, i'm glad that they do speak up and ask
owh well, life's.... a joy. each day
as mr wise-guy soloman once wrote:
"This is the end of the matter. All has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man."
yup... hopefully i'll get to enjoy life at the same time =P
Friday, March 08, 2013
car accident, casio F201, Sennheiser HD 380 Pro
and a car came from the left, it was red ligh for him, but the one furter down was green. trolling light.
so he banged her read left door, she lost control, and went up the curb on the left and into a pole.
thank God she's.. unharmed.
no matter how safe you drive, there will be some accidents that are cause by others and not one's self.
it is inevitable, it happens. owh well... the guy who bang her was really nice, young guy, polite, genuine. caring.
and i proud to say it has only changed its battrey once.... was quite hard to open up.. lots of mini clips and a shortcircuite reset required.. but.. anyways thats all done.... its gonna retire now.. after all the mud and grim i've put it through in scout camps, all the swimming and water torrents, all the speed works on bikes, etc etc... it did break before, but i mange to find the small piece and glue it back.. this time a frisbee hit it and yeah... the chassis broke.. =( oowh well... time to move on and not be so sentimental
and.... cash converter was selling a shenhizer HD380 pro at RM299.... went back home to check out the reviews.. went back the next day to grab it.. it was too late.. gone di!!! =(
haha
"an opportunity only opens for a certain period of time,
grab it before it closes"
friends
"A: Are all the friends you meet good?
B: Nope, but they all have the potential to be"
was just wondering about what it means to have friendship with people.
what does it require of a person to acquire, gain, earn, get, believe, produce, etc etc
it....
making things so complicated when its not.
it just comes naturally doesn't it?
communication is...
oooppp sorry cant finish this post, sister got an accident gotta go.
B: Nope, but they all have the potential to be"
was just wondering about what it means to have friendship with people.
what does it require of a person to acquire, gain, earn, get, believe, produce, etc etc
it....
making things so complicated when its not.
it just comes naturally doesn't it?
communication is...
oooppp sorry cant finish this post, sister got an accident gotta go.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
computer upgrades =D
won't have to worry abt movies taking up space
and the computer is sooo sooo soooooo much faster with 8gigs running inside.
very happy with the buy
memory hungry chrome is no issue now =D
thanks shiva!
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
new layout
and.. the templete was still the old old html one... so... yup..
motor accident
"How can you be so obtuse?" Andy said to warden Norton.. haha Shawshank Redemption's a classic!
and.. singing the greek alphabets is wayy too fun.. like learning abc in kindergarten all over again.
hmm.. what else to add abt my day, this blog has been.. dead for so long.
i have been dead for so long,
felt really empty and void.
life was a mundane daily chore,
repeating the same thing over and over again.
until i got hit by a car,
was riding the good ol' AM 799.
made of solid steel that honda cup 65cc
but it wasn't what saved me.
it was God.
it was a God given chance to live again.
i realized that we could die anytime.
and that everyday is a gift.
i stood by at the federal highway... just a few meters from where broken pieces of my bike lay... the cars we're zooming past... they looked and were moving so much faster...
80km/h seemed to be slow when i was still with them in that crazy flow of machineries
stopping and standing at the the side of things.. to just look.. gave me time to see ... a bigger picture ... and cherish that
everyday is
a chance to change.
a chance to enjoy and yet discipline.
a chance to forgive.
a chance to love.
i'm glad i met you.
it really has made me come alive.
yet i know that it is only You that i can rely on,
to be everlasting.
"disappointment assures in life, least it is given fully to Him"
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
FIREEE!!
so i was riding back from paradigm at midnight after watching Les Miserables, courtesy of big brother
when i saw the road lights starting to flicker.. and just go completely off.. the once brightly lit road became as dark as ..... a kampung road xD
at the traffic lights i saw an electric pole on FIRE! ... interesting....the poles code: "SS24/1 pole 23"
so i just parked the bike at the boom gate, hoped in and took out my handphone.. (wow! yes i have one that works!) ... not knowing which number to dial .. i type 999 .. (with a little fear that would treat my call as a prank call) and told the suuuuper blur phone operator what was happening... she asked the same question like a billion times..
then finally said "saya sambung you ke bomba" .... and then i had to talk to them... but they already knew all the details.. cool
so after the phone call... i was waiting and just staring at the flames... feeling an occasional bust of electric-charged static in the air when the wires sparked, i presume when the insulation melted and the wires touched each other.
i was darn scared to run across, thinking if the wires snapped they could just fall in a whip like behavior due to the tension and ... maybe.. just maybe touch me.. and ... people will find a roast carcass on the floor tomorrow
but i had to do it anyway, cross my heart and hope to die... placed the helmet on and gave me a sense of safety.. ran to the house (oh, its no.1 btw) that was right under it to warn the people staying inside, before i could even ring the door bell, their two dogs jumped up and started a barking symphony .. (wow, dogs actually work?) but i rang it just in case .. and then an old uncle peeped out the window .. and it look to me that we was abit paranoid of me xD (i was still wearing my helmet) .. but i just shouted 'fire' in whatever langue i could
he came down anyway after... what seemed like a long time, and i pointed it to him for his own eyes to see.. his face was epic, eyes wide open, mouth agape, right hang adjusting his specs to make sure he's seeing the real thing...
so ok that was done... mmhmm what else to do while waiting... i timed the bomba's response..
while waiting, the security came.. and tought i was a thief .. lol... so i took of my helmet and pointed the fire to them.... then they like.. "ohhhh"
.. haha so 10 minutes.. then the heroic fireman, all hunky and tall and ready to save the world... yeah rite... they were sooooooo round!!!!!!!!!!!! xD the fire jacket looked like it couldn't even zip up pass their bellies~!!
anyways by then the fire was already dying down and didn't look any more scary than a candle on a birthday cake
owh, the bomba was a lil confuse getting in too, due to all the boom gates, lol.... if anything else was on fire i.e. a house or something, don't count much on the fireman to arrive before most of the things have finshed burning down to ashes.... unless you live like.. beside the bomba station in ss2
anyway, when the bomba arrived... they stared at it.. and told me... they can't do anything about it.. ????????? and he told me to call TNB next time at 1454 ... how the *bleep* do you want me to remember TNB's number????? so we just stood underneath and watch the fire as tough it was some really delayed new year's firework that forgot to go off a week ago
and then the fire man started telling me about.. "bila api kecil ia kawan, bila besar ia.....?" lol, good thing school thought us peribahasa .. and stuff like, if you sprayed water at it, the water would conduct the.. blablabla... mhmm "you don't sayyy"
boy, how i wish i had marsh mellows to roast .....
so tthe bomba just left while it was still burning and asked us to wait for TNB to come..... and i was like, i ain't gonna wait the whole night here... who knows how many hours till they respond... so i told the house owner to have a pleasant night and that Jesus loves him.. and he was like "brotherrrrr, thank you so much" haha.... good to know i'm not a perceived thief anymore
so...goodnight... hope you learnt something about our police and bomba from this post..
don't be scared to dial 999 xD
gonna start working tomorrow! yea.. gotta wake up early... boo =(
owh btw, ISC 6 was awesome
when i saw the road lights starting to flicker.. and just go completely off.. the once brightly lit road became as dark as ..... a kampung road xD
at the traffic lights i saw an electric pole on FIRE! ... interesting....the poles code: "SS24/1 pole 23"
so i just parked the bike at the boom gate, hoped in and took out my handphone.. (wow! yes i have one that works!) ... not knowing which number to dial .. i type 999 .. (with a little fear that would treat my call as a prank call) and told the suuuuper blur phone operator what was happening... she asked the same question like a billion times..
then finally said "saya sambung you ke bomba" .... and then i had to talk to them... but they already knew all the details.. cool
so after the phone call... i was waiting and just staring at the flames... feeling an occasional bust of electric-charged static in the air when the wires sparked, i presume when the insulation melted and the wires touched each other.
i was darn scared to run across, thinking if the wires snapped they could just fall in a whip like behavior due to the tension and ... maybe.. just maybe touch me.. and ... people will find a roast carcass on the floor tomorrow
but i had to do it anyway, cross my heart and hope to die... placed the helmet on and gave me a sense of safety.. ran to the house (oh, its no.1 btw) that was right under it to warn the people staying inside, before i could even ring the door bell, their two dogs jumped up and started a barking symphony .. (wow, dogs actually work?) but i rang it just in case .. and then an old uncle peeped out the window .. and it look to me that we was abit paranoid of me xD (i was still wearing my helmet) .. but i just shouted 'fire' in whatever langue i could
he came down anyway after... what seemed like a long time, and i pointed it to him for his own eyes to see.. his face was epic, eyes wide open, mouth agape, right hang adjusting his specs to make sure he's seeing the real thing...
so ok that was done... mmhmm what else to do while waiting... i timed the bomba's response..
while waiting, the security came.. and tought i was a thief .. lol... so i took of my helmet and pointed the fire to them.... then they like.. "ohhhh"
.. haha so 10 minutes.. then the heroic fireman, all hunky and tall and ready to save the world... yeah rite... they were sooooooo round!!!!!!!!!!!! xD the fire jacket looked like it couldn't even zip up pass their bellies~!!
anyways by then the fire was already dying down and didn't look any more scary than a candle on a birthday cake
owh, the bomba was a lil confuse getting in too, due to all the boom gates, lol.... if anything else was on fire i.e. a house or something, don't count much on the fireman to arrive before most of the things have finshed burning down to ashes.... unless you live like.. beside the bomba station in ss2
anyway, when the bomba arrived... they stared at it.. and told me... they can't do anything about it.. ????????? and he told me to call TNB next time at 1454 ... how the *bleep* do you want me to remember TNB's number????? so we just stood underneath and watch the fire as tough it was some really delayed new year's firework that forgot to go off a week ago
and then the fire man started telling me about.. "bila api kecil ia kawan, bila besar ia.....?" lol, good thing school thought us peribahasa .. and stuff like, if you sprayed water at it, the water would conduct the.. blablabla... mhmm "you don't sayyy"
boy, how i wish i had marsh mellows to roast .....
so tthe bomba just left while it was still burning and asked us to wait for TNB to come..... and i was like, i ain't gonna wait the whole night here... who knows how many hours till they respond... so i told the house owner to have a pleasant night and that Jesus loves him.. and he was like "brotherrrrr, thank you so much" haha.... good to know i'm not a perceived thief anymore
so...goodnight... hope you learnt something about our police and bomba from this post..
don't be scared to dial 999 xD
gonna start working tomorrow! yea.. gotta wake up early... boo =(
owh btw, ISC 6 was awesome
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