kilbernie pool

 swimming pool in kilbernie is sooo good for toddlers.

and it's free!

lift in the hotel broke down

no time to go gym/pool/spa today

owh well.

it was good as it gets

ah and linux is probably the way to go

healthy habits

 so staying in Gilmer for covering the CE in wellington provides complementary access to Habit Health's gym, pool, spa, sauna and steam room facilities at the Majestic.

Man. i love sauna.

and their 33m pool.... haven't swam for ages.. just by myself,

ever since the baby came.

so this 7-9pm sessions have been gooooood

really appreciate it.

the sauna.. just sitting in there, and letting the sweat come out.. oh so good

and then just walking back in the night, nice cool breeze that's not cold anymore because of the heat built up in the sauna.

blissful feeling.

headache and blood vessels in the brain can flow

owh. and i sorta manage to do a nordic curl ish today!

yea!

2024 resolution acheived

Finding purpose

 so just ended a call with John and some ELDP/YLDP people.

man, i'm really missing out on stuff back home.

why didn't i find anything like that to belong to in Auckland?

was it because of the life choices or the people or the...

nah, there's nothing to blame.

no one to blame except .. myself

i never found a community to belong to,

to build deep roots and establish myself, my family in.

hence, the dissatisfaction with life

the dissatisfaction with all that was good wherever we are

the struggle is real.

God why

why

its not You, its me.

I can't balme You

You didn't lead me onto this path,

it's one i choosed 

its the best yet

its a blessing from You

thank you, Jesus

for the wife, the kid, the job, the family the friends

least, people jsut be aquientences 

only way to be filled

Matthew 5:6

this is so counter intuitive. or counter culture.

the world will say the opposite:

"indulge yourself in unrighteousness. drink your fill and some more, then only will that deep craving inside be fulfilled "

it will never be.

greed, lust, power, fame, fortune

one who gains things out of the pursuit of these vices will never be filled

hence, the verse.

as i ponder upon it more.

it comes to pass that the truth which it holds is this:

that the only true way to be satisfied in this life on earth,

is to listen to Jesus's words to longing for righteousness...

the path of righteousness isn't an easy one. majority of the people don't do it.

righteousness isn't just about integrity, holiness, or even perfection.

it's about acknowledging our fallen state, and the need for a Saviour to bestow upon us His qualification of being right before God.

seek that. seek the Way, the Truth and the Life.

the Good life.

some positive stuff

1. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." Thomas A. Edison

2. "Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies Opportunity." Albert Einstein

3. "With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." Eleanor Roosevelt

4. "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." Helen Keller

5. "Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground." Theodore Roosevelt

6. "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." Henry David Thoreau

7. "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." Epictetus

8. "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." Maya Angelou

9. "Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible." Tony Robbins

10. "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

11. "Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing." Thomas Jefferson

12. "Well done is better than well said." Benjamin Franklin

13. "If you start by promising what you don't even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work towards getting it." Paulo Coelho

14. "If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." Dale Carnegie

15. "Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." Wayne Dyer

16. "The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor." Vince Lombardi

17. "Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it." Lou Holtz

back p backup backup

 plex..

life time access...

making servers.

backing up things

nice to back up

too much media,

photos, videos, etc....

nothing will last forerver,

even in this digital information age

missing hand gripper

I've misplaced my hand gripper exercise tool...

Last used it in the can..

Maybe it was on my lap when I open and jumped out the door... working late at night it's dark...

But I remember putting it in the door handle space...

Owh well..

Did my best trying to look for it

No regrets. I used it much...

It's just.. stuff.

Let there be no attachment. 

lost and found

I found my ring back...

Have not been wearing it for few weeks....

After I went to waiheke Island.

I thought I lost it.. but it was in my work bag. Phewh.

Lots of things been happening lately.

I kind of screwed up doing the ANZ SW reload at BP Greenlane... miss typed one number in the IP address... and didn't catch it when the ATM wasn't connecting... Leslie found it. Thank God.

And then there's the time we're I deliberately disobeyed the wife... when she said to stop spraying the anti mould on the kitchen sink...

But I still did.

Wonder why.

I think it's because I wanted to please the landlords. And the OCD part of my cleaning just kicked in....

I should be using it at work.. not home.

Brain fog. Can't think straight. 

Doing things that irritate others.

Not able to process current situation and gauge future consequences. 

Move to Dunedin? Or stay in Auckland.

It's so convenient here.

Daycare. Wife's work.. house.. friends.. flights.. events.... warmer...

All this will be sacrificed with the move down south.

Craig, Brett... give some clarity please.. don't be afraid to ask them questions.

Thanks Bilal for the comforting chat during the CE meeting.

Fix the TV, old plasma from shri. Have to pay to discard it otherwise.. use the airports to get a new one later on.

Logistics.. have to move the house.. sigh.

Van chair.. Two people want to buy.

First buyer hasn't come yet. 

Time to give chance to the second one?

dell attitude

 a new life

a new laptop

a new chance

doesn't really make a difference

unless.

it is used

its all about the attitude

to the latitude

how well is it used?

how much distraction is there?

is it really better.

or not..

to boot from USB

or to dual boot from nvme

choices choices

well, it is much much better than the Acer aspire v3 from like... 2016..

gosh that's almost, 8 years old?

i used it in second year of uni,

after my sister used it first

traded it with a travelmate

hmm

another tear drop

 i'm so sorry my dear child

its just ... 

..

.

nah... there's no excuse

i'm sorry

conspiracy Olympic sports

So stuff like breakdancing is an Olympic sport but squash is not ..

Yeah, so it's actually who controls the Olympics that gets to determine what sports go in.... 

The more subjective sports, the more they can select judges that will score their own country with more gold medals.

you can't choose who gets the medals in real sports..... Cause it's an obvious who wins or not by clear rules....

Stuff like... Points awarded by judges.... That's where your country can get em gold medals racked up xD i.e diving, gymnastics and.. dancing..

the idea of being a liberal

A conservative is a liberal whom has been robber.

A pious religious person is deep down inside, a depraved and twisted person, longing to live life on his own terms, freedom to act without consequences, and seek the pleasures of all that is taboo

But because of self discipline and self control.

He does not.

Because of Christ,

We know the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil isn't worth it.

We don't need to experience all that can be offered in this world...

Jesus didn't take up Satan's offers to bow down to him, of rule over a city, or eat bread when he was hungry.....

In the moment of being in the desert and fasting.

He was tempted, yet was still to be found without sin. Because He didn't give in. So that He could live a perfect life and die ok the cross to atone for the sins of those He loved, you and me.

He sacrificed for others.

Think about that.

When you life your own life, do you just live it for the happiness of you own self? Or can you live life, not for others, but for God.

Christianity is not sacrificing your life for another person. Jesus already sacrificed his for them. And only Jesus can do that.

We can't sacrifice for others, we're not perfect ourselves.

We sacrifice to God. For it is He whom demands a sacrifice of praise worthy of Him. Not what is left out of our pockets, not the best choice of meat or cut. But just the humble corn, just the first fruits in rememberce that all is given by Him, just the right heart and attitude.

Of Thanksgiving.

Not of whating to receive benefits or favour. Not with alterior motives. Not with hoping you'll get a hundred fold in return....

But just innocent, giving from the abundance that's recognized. In Christ we already have it all. Heaven. A communion with God. What else could be more precious than that?

Give me poverty, give me death.

But do not take away from me my relationship with the Lord.

Hannah ljz

yahor, true also lah.. this is why people in position always have jaga what they write loh... Feelings and emotions of masses is a real thing. That's why most can't speak their mind. Always have to think what others will think about them.

She was trying to address that in point 3 I guess... To be brave.

But I think..... It's still okay leh.

Cause it's not like she took the photo like really right right after the semifinal match... That one will be really toooo much lah.

This is like what... Two days gap from the loss.... (Cause they holding up the medals right)... And she noted the calmness style from when he fought world number 1. Probably lots will have shaky knees if paired up against ShiYuQi

But you're right lah James. Poorly worded post. Easy to be taken not in a good way. It's just that the response of the others to it was not as mature as yours. At least yours is respectful and got suitable examples given in a kind way

Haha but media is media lah... What I didn't like was how they blew it up by just focusing on one picture post and leaving out the rest (not like she didn't take pictures with our own guy right) and writing insidious captions saying she's not patriotic

But yalah... What to do, that's how news works right......I mean.. common, even our own LZJ also kena bully on social media himself 🤦 how la. Minister kena... Player also kena.. don't know what is patriotism...don't know who won't kena.. no one is safe from cyber bullying no matter what they do

perfectly imperfect, to be human

 no one is perfect.

the idea of perfection is.. in-human

to be human is to make mistakes

and to learn from them

that's evolution,

that's life.

I acknowledge that i am imperfect,

help me to become a better person.

only You, God are perfect.

You are not just an idea of perfection,

You are, You are all that is. You are everything, and all in all.

You encompass everything, the good. what what ever else makes someone, Perfect.

perfectly good. perfectly whole. perfectly perfect.

God is perfection.

How do we achieve that?

We could never... we are only human

Hence, Christ.

and His death on the cross.. for us

that BY his perfection... and sacrifice.. His willingness to give up what is rightfully His, His communication and connection to the perfect all Father..  

He was cut off from God in the moment He took upon Himself our imperfection.

imperfection, is just another word for Sin

but what is imperfection? it's all around us.. it's unavoidable

no one can be... un-imperfect.

that's just... life

acts 13:39

only through Jesus,

is there freedom from sin.

not just a few particular type,

but all, every single one.

big or small 

no sin is insignificant,

no sin is too significant.

and this freedom...

is found no where else,

not in laws, not in books,

not in mindsets, not in selfhelp.

not in this world.

Only Jesus has the power to save

to go or to stay

A place in Dunedin has opened up.

To go there in a one CE area or to stay here in Auckland with 15 other CEs?

Proverbs 20:4

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.

V13

If you love sleep, you will end in poverty.

Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat.

The opportunity to go out, and get more standby time is really a big thing.

Missed out on Tauranga when Anghad left and Bilal came back to fill the spot. Myles manage to get someone from FLM to become a CE. Sigh. What a wasted opportunity to go to Mainganui and Papamoa, Crystal really liked the beachand mountain there. Should have put more thought into it.

Now the chance has come up again to go out of Auckland. Should I take it or not?

Medical: my right shoulder still aches a little bit it's getting better. My stiff neck has sort of transferred it's pain to the shoulder. (I think I got it over the weekend, maybe a Friday or Saturday), but the necks been stiff for weeks... After looking down at the phone a a weird angle one night.and stretching out my hand for too long. And maybe carrying boy with one side only... So many reasons.

Boys left arm has a small red patch that seems to be growing. Putting some anti fungal today 22/7, and will need to continue on for the next 10 days after it goes away.

Studies: Etec and EAS course coming up.

70% thought the self study book only. So distracted with reading other books like why the Rich get richer by Robert K.

Work: got the spot for Hastings this weekend, Friday to Sunday.

is Jesus

More important than time,

Than money....

Than love

Is Jesus

Because only He can do things that

Time, money, love cannot

He can do miracles,

Time is endless for Him,

He can Raise the dead..

He can do what love can't 

He can change hearts,

Open and close doors

Seek Him first

15 July 2024

6am ish. woke up. milk for the baby

wife slept, rainy day.

brought him to the van with umbrella,

knocked his head on the seat belt buckle,

this boy is strong, cries for only a short while

8am ish, home, breakfast toast.

9.30 work, wbc oak pharmacy, cassettes not reading, invalid

11 ish national storage. pick up part. met ummer and kunal

12.30 second meet. part not suitable, called Karl and tendai. 

2 ish. home firefox, 

4 cook.

5 pick up boi

routine dinner shower milk brush bible sleep

7-8 entertainment

2041 now....

zz

whats good?

i like blinkist , good book summaries daily

whats bad?

firefox.. sorta....

what i wish?

no more social media

whats being read lately?

Duel at the Valley of Despair (Second Part) Battle Angel Alita: Mars Chronicle Vol. 10, Ch. 51.2

Tower Dungeon Vol. 1, Ch. 1

thoughts of the day:

when it rains,

stop whatever you're doing and enjoy it for a moment

run long distances, slowly

lift weights, light, frequently

no replacement

 there is no replacement for spending time with Jesus

14 july 2024

 20:33

woke up at about 5ish am, baby was crying... wanted milk, fed him about 6am plus, he went back to sleep.

family slept till about 8ish. had breakfast. baby had a packet with banana. we ate some leftover muffins and chocolate roll and doughnut cores

went to church for the 9am service. recodring of Ps Steve Green:

1. throw off what hinders you

2. the sin that entangles

3. run with endurance

4. keep your eyes on Jesus...

the lady was walking down the stairs in the dark and did a flip!

Thank God she didn't hurt herself too badly

10am ish, we went to the cafe and say YeeNie serving coffee

went to buy a pair of red UK4 shoes for boi from Warehouse botany

11 ish... came home, gave him milk and put him to bed.

we had some leftover noodles for lunch

Crystal finish cutting off the grass,

vaccum the house, clean the vacumm 

boi woke up

we got ready,

went toSlyvia PArk Tree Hous at about 3pm

played till 3.30 there, had KFC and played at the rock infront of the outdoor shop area

4.15 ish we went home.

had herbal chiken soup for dinner

then same ol routine for bois bed time

6ish shower, milk, brush teeth, read bible and sleep.. about 7.15 ish... thankfully early

****made the cardbaord chair with milk tin cans,

phewh finally those cans stacking up at the wardrobe is gone

then came inside the room were is warmer

wrote this entry on the Dell Latitude 5480, the backlit keybaord is a plus

so is ubuntu

20:43... huh,,,, just ten minutes to recount the day.

i'd say thats wayyy more worth it than 10 minutes on social media!

And quite a job for the memory too to try and recall what happened throughout the day.

what didn't go so well today:

1. i was supposed not to use social media for sunday, but i used a little FB right in the morning when i brought the phone in with me to the toilet

what went wll today:

1. did something creative and made the chair together with the wife.

coming down with a little runny nose.

sigh.. hope i dont fall sick.. again

phone sunday

No social media on sundays

no phones

No phones in the bedroom,

No phones at the dining table,

Leave the phone in the basket by the front door when walking into the house,

No phones in the mornings,

No phones in the toilet,

No phones when Infront of the kids,

When someone talks to you, put down the phone

sick

Been falling sick quite frequently recently...

The crippling headaches and block nose..

Yellow mucus and heavy body...

Yesterday my neck and back muscles just decided go stiff

. Again

And it doesn't help that I'm having some weird nose/ear mucus on the right side... Try to clear it up...

And Noah has HFaM....

Spots on his hands and legs..

Feverish on Friday...

Poor boy..

Super mom taking care of the both of us

salty 2

Yo couz!! Haha that's great input, not many view things with exegesis nowadays.

Yeah, Synloong probably produces a different kind of salt than the commonly thought of sodium chloride (NaCl) xP

Oh well good thing we are science students!

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out." (Luke 14:34-35)

I guess the reference to soil might have brought up some thoughts correlating to fertilizers. the mind sometimes think of antithetical statements

(What salt was useful for soil? Or piles of poop)

Jesus having God's omniscient probably could have been talking about acid-alkali salts that were good for soils.. ahead of its current time or setting... Haha.. those with ears let them hear, those that can't too bad

(Just random thoughts)

Haha yeah really such a natural thing for us to read our own ideas into things right... Everyone's interpretation of the Word is so personal yet... universal in some sense.

Thankfully we don't always have to take every word literally (same chapter: verse 26)

...

Okay anyways.. need some more of your theological teaching here:

So let's say... It was actually table salt He was referring to,,

----Salt doesn't loose it's saltiness----

It'll never happen, it's just not logical. Chemically it's too stable to degrade in the aspect of taste right?

So if it was a parable/allegory/metaphor.. it couldn't have been literal, but would have had something else implied that was not said?

Like if it was diluted, or mixed with other elements.. etc.

salty

Yo couz!! Haha that's great input, not many view things with exegesis nowadays.

Yeah, Synloong probably produces a different kind of salt than sodium chloride (NaCl).

Oh well good thing we are science students!

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out." (Luke 14:34-35)

I guess the reference to soil might have brought up some correlation towards fertilizers.

But just because it was mentioned, doesn't mean the antithetical statements

(What salt was useful for soil?

Or for piles of poop..) were implied. Or were they? Jesus having God's omniscient probably could have been talking about acid-alkali salts that were good for soils.. ahead of its current time or setting...

But yeah Christianity is cool like that. Stuff gets revealed to those whom are ready. And those that aren't in the moment will probably get it later on.

i am i am iam

 i'm hungry

i'm tired

i'm bored

i'm lonenly

selfishnessless

Not having a kid (by choice) is the most selfish thing a person can do..

Have a kid is the most... Straight forward lesson to becoming a selfless person

the difference

A married man is different 

From a single man.

BOredom jar:

 BOredom jar:

movie night

excercise together

fun: board/card games

puzzles/game night

comedy

hot topic debates

buisness planning

Bible study

read books together

learn new language

spa/massage/bath

karaoke

dance

write letters?

baking

learning... too late

Saturday

no its not.. it was just a holida because of ANZAC day

went hiking up the pigeon mountain

forgo badminton

worth it

having a baby is the start of the end of life as we know it

nothing teaches you more about sacrifice than having a kid

jarvis is in a rut,

not sure to continue the realtionship with tina or not

wonder what is it about girls

ah, she says she always bored

what do you want to do in life?

whats there to pursue?

my linkedin learning kinda expired, was using the ncr login previously, wonder why its not working anymore.. and netflix got kinda cracked down... sigh

not that i was using the learning to its fullest anyway

owh well

samsung dex

 So the samsung dex seems to be working out nicely

connected the phone to a J5 hub that has a hdmi and usb plug

just missing out the audio port, but wanted a 100w pass through

hmm maybe will just stick with the bluetooh fro sound

but this layoutseems to work nicely!

and it boots up fast unlike the old laptop

and very quite too

so yeah maby this is the new setup to write blog post on

20\4\2024 Saturday

why can't I type.

okay thats been fixed by closing and reoppenig the app

so i'm going to do this now with a phone instead of my laptop.

 but still typing with a physical keyboard.

sweettttt

yeah this should be less distracing

saturday

6.45 woke up by boi

7. feed milk

prepare. his fingers got caught in the door as i was geting stuff out of the closed for badminton. weather was rainy. wanted to go to the market or spend the days with family

8-10 playd badmiton. wythe, jarvis (confused about relationship with Tina, guys night out last night i missed it). big, zer, yoshi.. fun games

10+ went to taiping for the grocery errands.

bought some promfet adn skate wings

11 came home. prep meal for boi.

ate lunch. mi hun kuey at about 12ish..

then we went out, wanted to go Hippo cafe, but decided on Botany to change his nappy. thank God for the underground parking sheded from the rain...

walked around until about 2pm.

saw ps hyewon at the library. they also have a youth center cool.

came home. 

cooked maggi and made bubble tea craving

by went to sleep

mama also sleep..

papa played phone.. 

haha waste of time.

but i had two good short naps the previous days when i started work at 2pm covering avi for the night shifts

4pm they woke up.

longest boi has ever slept for the nap. almost 2.5 hours.

we had our dinner together. asam skate.

boi had a 30 minute delay for usual sleep time at 7.30. cause of the long nap this afternoon

8pm he's a sleep

wash up and clean the house

watced Netflix Rebel Moon part 2.

its 10.39pm now. time to sleep

i think it'll be nice to start journalling once again. maybe this set up will work. a phone with a physical keyboard is so much nicer to type than the phone screen

kids nowadays

But yeah, a subtle but interesting observation... As I don't think it just applies to car seating arrangements... But also how parents relationships with children have been morphed over the decades....

Plenty of other examples.

Think: canning, bowing down when walking infront of elders, not disturbing/intruding when adults speak, excusing oneself to pickup a ringing landline phone when eating family dinner, or when leaving the table earlier than others.

Lots of our culture and traditions have changed. For the better or worse? I think yes and no. Yes kids nowadays can speak up more, etc.. but Traits like patience, humility and respect kind of get eroded away by.. pop culture.

Songs on the secular radio mostly promote individualism and materialism.. money.. (Duh uh, that's what the devil wants right, to draw is away from Jesus)...

But yeah.. 

Getting too long the rant. Haha. You get my point.

life 2.0

So the 31st birthday passed by...

Only two friends made it, Jim and his kid..

And avi..

And yeah...

Old..

Rich boss of a died. Stepped on the wrong roof panel and dropped down...

Aj of Queenstown died of cancer...

PS Tim Loh, just had a heart attack during a dinner after giving a sermon at Generations...

Man.. life..

So fragile.

Time is too short.

Live life... To the most

If not now, then when?

Why wait..

no longer I

Having a baby is life changing,

You can no longer live for yourself....

That's...a really big thing btw...

Jesus loves, Jesus was there

If you're currently in a bad situation..

And someone says... There is a way out..

There is a better life waiting for you ahead..

It's tough.

It really is hard to get through.

An unloving mother,

Infertility,

Cancer..

Death of a love one.

What is the other way to say to someone grieving that Jesus loves them and wants them to have a better future...

"He is there with you"

In the darkest moments.

Christ has not forsaken us,

Not even one step of the way...

He was there there whole time.

Jesus knows my every weakness,

Jesus knows my every pain,

My every sacrifice and every shame.

Yet Jesus still choose to stay beside me,

Yet Jesus still choose the cross,

To bear my burden upon Himself,

So that I may freely live in Him.

being healthy

"Being healthy really is the best feeling" -Marcille, DiD Ep9

So I had headaches for the past two days.

It's really horrible... Can't sleep peacefully at night.. can't help around the house... 

Isotonic drinks helped...

Rest helps..

Movement and blood flowing helps...

Finally after two days.. it seems to be better now...

chemical, the horseman

https://youtu.be/uLxFazLK2Mg?si=R6tqyKF0uGnVk5L6

Environmental chemicals will be he harbinger of the end times...

Who can control what chemicals we consume unwillingly..

Mankinds extinction is very real.

And I guess to have more kids.

3 kids would be a good number

stability

As long as...

The government is stable

And the rakyat can live in harmony.

That is something to be thankful for.

baby

 the end of life as we know it

starts wit the beginning of a new one

why the curent gregonian calender?

 new year

i wonder who came u with the idea of the current calender that we're using...

i mean.. the whole world uses Jan Feb - Dec

31, 30, 28 days a month

there are ofcause other calenders out there

being malaysian, you have the fre calenders given out

they have the indian, chinese and also malay calendars there

some follow the moon

some follow.. the stars?

but its amazing to get so so many people to follow ONE time format

its crazy, its like.. the best idea won kinda thing..

like.. mine is soooo good you guys gotta follow it

and fireworks?

to celebrate..

its just a big big sign of display 

unconcious

Is it possible to loose consciousness,

But keep the body moving subconsciously?

the law

1 Timothy 1:8-9

the law is .... an interesting thing.

does it apply to some and not others? or does it apply fairly to everyone. does different interpretations of the law change how the law affects seperate individual of different levels. what is the law? how absolute or relative is it... is the law truth or the way. or is Christ the only Way and Truth. do we make the law greater than Christ in away that we uphold jugment more than forgiveness and grace. don't get me wrong, every action has its consequences to be paid. but who has the right to judge in only not the one whom has paid it all. Christ is the Way.

autonomy SCARF

So there was a session at Resolution,

That talked about losing Autonomy.

It was part of a five acronym word guiding to what makes people .. sad? I can't remember everything. One of it was A for security. sCARF

Man It just came back to memory

The SCARF model involves five domains of human social experience: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.

And one of it was loss of autonomy.

So... Have you ever felt like.. 

You can't make the deacons you would want to be making due to the current circumstances you're in?

Like.. there's a lack of freedom if you so will....

Freedom to do what you would want to do 

I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing 

It can be a good thing..

To be restricted.

A conservative is just a liberal whose been mugged.

Because of who I am, where am I, whom I'm with, what I've done...

There are certain choices we can make and certain some that we can't anymore 

But no regrets...

Just make the decisions

Learn from the mistakes...

And move. On

That's life.

Stuff happens

Things come and goes.

Nothing last forever

But will always be in our memories

lazer

Clarity...

To see things

Thank God for vision

Help us to be less selfish

And think about others more

Waiheke island time

So the lady at Shambala told me something called "island time"...

Where people on the island seem to be in no rush. And they just take time in their own pace

How cool is that.

"Slow down, you're already here"

Is a signboard that I've never seen anywhere else...

And another thing.

The sad story of Dwane protector of the penguins. Who lost to the capitalist.

Even the marine reserve couldn't winnagaisnt the silt caused by piles from the marina..

Owh well.

Such is life

such a good descriptions of KPIs and Metrics

From Blinkist point 3 on the book Capitalist Realism

The paradox of Market Stalinism

We now turn our attention to a phenomenon that epitomizes the paradoxical nature of contemporary economic systems: Market Stalinism. This term is a reflection of the intricate and often contradictory forces at play in our societies – forces that shape both the institutions we interact with and our very perceptions of efficiency and productivity.

Market Stalinism, which might seem oxymoronic at first glance, aptly describes a situation where the market's invisible hand is coupled with an iron fist of administrative control and surveillance. This combination results in an environment where the very forces that are supposed to liberate the market and enhance productivity end up creating new forms of bureaucracy that stifle innovation and creativity. This scenario is vividly portrayed in Mike Judge’s film Office Space, which humorously yet incisively depicts the suffocating nature of the modern corporate setting.

In this environment, workers find themselves inundated with redundant memos and trivial administrative tasks that serve more to demonstrate compliance with procedures than to contribute to any meaningful productivity. In an era often touted for its neoliberal policies – policies like deregulation, privatization, and the emphasis on free-market competition – the reality is a growing complexity and expansion of bureaucratic processes. The relentless push for ongoing evaluations, financial audits, and the measurement of performance through various metrics has given rise to a convoluted administrative maze. In seeking to streamline and optimize, these neoliberal approaches have ironically led to the very inefficiency they aimed to eliminate.

The impact of this phenomenon is not confined to the corporate world alone. It permeates various sectors, including education and public services, where teachers and other professionals are increasingly burdened by the need to satisfy an ever-growing array of performance indicators and targets. These measures, ostensibly designed to improve standards and accountability, often end up diverting resources and attention away from the core activities they’re meant to enhance. In educational settings, for instance, the focus shifts from the actual teaching and learning process to the production and management of data that satisfies bureaucratic requirements.

This scenario leads to what can be described as a culture of bureaucratic anti-production, where the primary output is not goods or services but an endless stream of data and documentation that serves to feed the bureaucratic machine. This culture not only stifles creativity and innovation but also demoralizes those caught in its web, leading to a sense of futility and disengagement. It represents a significant departure from the ideals of efficiency and effectiveness that are often touted as the hallmarks of market economies.

As we ponder this scenario, we should ask ourselves: How can we navigate and reshape these structures to create environments that truly enhance human potential and societal well-being? What new paradigms and approaches are needed to break free from the constraints of bureaucratic anti-production and realize the promise of a more dynamic, responsive, and human-centered system?

zzz

 what am i doing with this life

day after day....

is there anything that changes?

theta state. slipping in the sleepiness

Long sermons in church was good.

People got sleepy..and when your tripping in between the states of consciousness and sleep.. man.. that's the sweet spot..

That's why sleeping in class is good...

That's why Silva talks about it..

That's why the second universal law is about it..

It's not a mystery or unknown..

Sleepy is good..

themes for the year

So the recurring word or intention that has constantly been popping up is...

Authenticity.

What would you do,

If it was really just you?

Our thoughts and actions are so determined and influenced by our surroundings. We constantly think about what others would think about us if we did a certain thing, or not.. 

Resulting in us becoming very passive beings.. it's so much safer than being an active person.

There's no potential for rejection, no room for error. But that's a bad thing. Because humans grow when we make mistakes, that's how we learn. That's how babies learnt to crawl and talk and eat. Just try, if we fail, learn from it, what went wrong, and try again, keep trying until we get it right.

That is the spirit of resilience.

It's okay to fail,

Just... Don't keep doing the same thing and failing over and over again...

Take time to reflect.

When something has gone wrong.

What happened?

Why?

And what can we do better next time,

Especially if a similar situation pops up again.

Secondly,

Value

What do we count hlas being previous to us? This will determine our priorities in life.

The things we place the most value in, is the things that our mind will think about.

It's the things that we'll thinking into the future about. it'll determine the plans we make, the goals we'll achieve. The direction, the compass that points north.

Been watching made in Abyss season 2. And this been popping up.

Value... To each his own he determines what is precious. Something's might be more valuable to others than it would to a stranger. This is because of the intrinsic interaction that one has had with that object or person.

I value time.

I value truth.

I value my family

My wife, my son..

I value... Learning

Growing.

New things,

Presence

Growth.

Love.

Faith

Faithfulness

Grace

Forgiveness

Mercy

Generosity

Purity

Holiness

Life

Happiness

Grief

Pain

There is so much to value.

Too many things in this world,

It would be endless

We just have to choose what we value

In the moment,

In the season

In the time

what would you do if the world was ending?

Carol and the end of the world.

Episode 2. Some ppl in there kind of sums up what NZ Spirit was like.

Spiritual and removed from reality.

The world is ending..

What would you be doing?

Some ppl still find it important to "go to work". I've got a job to do...

And shut down conversations with others...

They hide behind work.

And the part of the toner.

It was like when I went to get firewood for the the central fireplace.

A little too late,

And the buggy had already brought big load. I also took the basket chair from a lady sitting on it...

Owh well.. it's the intention that counts right.

Romans 15:13

our God is the source of all hope. all. every other but of hope in this world... comes from Him. He is the one and only true source of hope... nothing else.. not money, not other religions, nor even our own selves... we might find hope in other things.. but they are all secondary ...  hope comes from God, He is the source of it

fill us with joy and peace. just happiness and having no anxiety, the ability to smile and not worry, not overthink, not be depressed about the world or environment or whatever is around us... it's all in His hands. our lives are in His hands...

as we trust in Him. the most important thing. trust. trust is so important. it's so... critical. every relationship needs trust. trust in the right person, trust is hard to earn, once broken trust is hard to get back, couples trust each other, to tell each other the truth and to support each other when needed... we trust each other to be there... trust God 

overflow with hope. into the lives of those around you. power from the Spirit. the only Spirit that is true. no other spirit in this world deserves a place in our hearts, in our lives. Christ is the master, the Father gives instructions, the Holy Spirit leads us, guides us, promts us on what is right and wrong... follow Chirstm trust him.

then you will know true hope,

true joy and true peace.

father and daughter, toilet door and finger

I went to the Waiheke fairy toilet.

The door smaller on a little girls finger.

I felt some resistance when I was closing the door, I should have pop it open straight away.......

Instead of slamming it.

The father and everyone around was really supportive.. they mentioned that it wasn't my fault over and over again...

I feel so bad tough...

Causing pain, without intention,

Accidentally...

She kept crying  . I couldn't do anything but apologize...

The dad was saying over and over.. don't worry about it. Honestly, he's so nice..

He showed what it is to be a wrong person.

He held her with love. And support.

And calmness...

The little bother kept laughing.. i told him don't put his finger in the door.. learn from his older sister...

Dad said the younger kid put his finger in the car door before... Haha.. I should have continue the convo . But the girl seem to be in So much pain... 

Nothing. I can do . Will buying an ice cream help?

NZ Spirit nye

Christianity is both the easiest and hardest of religions

It's somewhat easy, for us the humans, because all the hard work was done by God. The Trinity has done all the heavy lifting, suffering, and bashing up of Satan when Christ went to confront him and take the keys of hell away... 

All we have to do is.. accept Jesus into our lives as Saviour and Lord... Sounds easy right...

However.. it's not that simple.

Christianity is a monotheistic faith.

Hence, the narrow path.

Unlike practitioners or believers of polytheism, Christians can't worship other gods.

I.e. at the Spirit festival, there are so many cultures.. mostly Hindu (yoga, kritan mantras that repeat the names of Krisna, teachings from the Bahgavad Gitta, the Ohm sign..)... There's Moari, praying to the sky father and earth mother and rivers and sun and moon... There's Druics with their crystals, healing sounds with singing bowls, hand pans and shooting voices, there's Peruvian Macca and Cacao ceremonies... And also LGBT (contraversial topic, needs in depth explanation) There's a whole bunch of worldview there ..

So I would say .. if one is 'okay' with these kind of stuff.. it's 'easy'... Because... Who cares...

You can do anything.. and have no remorse, shame, guilt, conflicting thoughts, cognitive dissonance...

BUT, if you're a strict conservative...

You'll view chanting as... worshipping the devil. You'll view yoga as satanic, the practices as demonic....

Christ guard our minds. All truth is God's.

But it doesn't mean that one's mind cwon't be open to the possibility of other cultures and traditions

Their holy scriptures.. our holy scriptures, our God is so powerful, that all good is His. Just don't worship another god..

The One in us, is greater than the one without..

The drumming, all cultures have a rythm, it's in us as humans, God made us with a beating heart.

The plants and medicine, chemical compounds, DNA, is all made by God. God wrote our genetics, of ever single organism on this world.... Just don't abuse drugs, it destroys... Anything excessive is toxic..

There is a balance.

Find that.

The dance, our bodies made to move.

Cacao ceremony was liberating... In safe space, where you can express to the fullest what you want. Without fear of being judged or looked at weirdly.. cause.. the truth is, everyone is a weirdo in some way, we just don't show it publicly

The meditation sessions, the men's circle, it's stuff you'd do in church. Or a group of ppl your trust. Sharing and being listened to.

The ex-addict spoke about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, pulling the hand break when we feel the triggers.

The Selenium guy knows Neuro Linguistic Programming... And FMT..  proponent for good guy health... And how excessive supplements (that do help in small amounts) can become toxic

Kritan is really like a group of Christians doing high praise, singing and harmonizing, repeating the four magical chords of G, C, D Em,... Some eventually breaking out spontaneously in tongues, oh but the dance is wildddd

But there's only so much mantras, and repeating on loop for 10 minutes... Simpletons... The mind like simplicity.. it's easy.

Christian songs go are more.. complex. They have meaning and lyrics and such.. (sort not bashing.. ) .. btw I prefer old school Christian songs to new ones....

And holy scriptures, vice verses,