religion is baloney. God is not.

"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." -Mark 9:42

so, love is not-self seeking eh?
who told you that and why?

Jesus? is He even real? ... wait.. am i blaspheming? who even gave the definition for the word 'blaspheme'?
why did he do it?

some say the Bible was written with a political agenda, that it was altered from its original Greek, Aramaic, and blablabla. that religion is used by smart people to govern over lesser thinking ones. that it is used to gain power, wealth and fame. that it is a spiritual-crutch for those who are week. those who cant face life on their own, and need to rely on something 'greater' than them because.... they're just not great enough.

and that the issue of since we were thought from young about things like "love is not self seeking", we were conditioned sub-consciously, brain-washed to have this mind set so deeply embedded that.... what ever the Bible says is real. and that, if we were born in any other place we would be that particular religion. plenty of people have done well off enough on their own with out believe in God... or have they?

so think.

why did i even post this up? why did i even ask you this question? well, if it would help: it is not to discourage you, of set you off track or anything like that. but instead, is what you believe in real?

to me, the answer for the first two questions posted would be: Jesus my God told me that love is not self-seeking through the Bible, whatever version it is, it is still God's Word. yeah you can call it a holy book or mythical fairy tales. but truth will be truth. and the reason why this historic account of Jesus speaking through His actions, His death on the cross, is essentially why i believe that it is not baloney made up by man to control me. that reason is because the fact of the matter is: love is not self-seeking.

God is love. what other way to show it than to walk the talk. just look around you, your friends, your brothers, sisters, parents... humans. who has the life that was meant to be lived the way it was made for?

those who love.

Jesus died on the cross so that you can..blablabla.. you've heard it before... countless of times. He can help you because He loves you.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -the ever quoted john 3:16. or is it?

the cafe of ministry?

so i started working part time in espressolab.
there must be a purpose, learnt not only how to make coffee =P

this one customer comes up and talks... non stop
about... christianology, Bart D. Ehrman, begin born into religion and ask the question:
If there is a God, why does He allow suffering?
sigh... how long will people dwell upon this age old post-modernism excuse.

Hardships are to show God cares.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children"- Hebrews 12:7

"Conflict shows I still care for you. If I kept quiet, I no longer bother"-JC Hoo

thank you, for being such a wonderful friend ( ;

God i need you

sanctify me by the truth. your word is the truth

life to comfortable?

so, what's life really all about if there wasn't any suffering to endure?

"be careful what you wish for"

it was a friday night. i just had my 10 to 6 shift at esspressolab. cycled over to petaling utama for badminton minsitry. wow, there was a girl who couldn't even hit the shuttle. never having been to a professional training course.. teaching the young girl to serve was like asking her to run before she could even walk or talk... sigh.. back to basics... put on the boots of peace... patience, take it slow... and smile =) ahhh the joy of teaching such simple matters, is one that could be taken as frustration or unspeakable delight. you get to choose.

next up, after having dinner, kuey teow hailam.. which had super crazy alot of clili padi inside. i was cycling home.. on a dimly lit path, some dude stole a drain cover, my bike went in and hit hard... my front wheel was ok, but from previous experiences i knew my back wheel wont be... i looked behind, crossed my fingers and hope to die, true enough.. it was puncture... oO

of all  the places, right outside petaling utama, wayyyyy off from my home, the distance back would be.. insane... carried my bike on the shoulder.. walked for 1 km and thought . well this is pretty stupid, i could just push my bike... sigh.. its times like this i wish i had brought a spare tube or patch repair kit... so much for  the scout motto: "be prepared".

pushed it pass the 3 roundabouts. put my thumb out for a hitch hike lift... well i guess i couldn't blame anyone who didn't want to fetch a dripping sweaty boy and his bike due to the fear of getting his scott clean chairs dirty.. even if it was a pickup truck... =(

seriously.. the whole way.. not one person stopped by to help?? the craps wrong with you strangers xD

bought a red-bull at a closed petrol station, drank most of it, there was still some left inside, it slipped from my fingers and spilled on the tar road...... shucks ..... my sugar drink.... =(

anyways.. there was one car that slowed down.. that was when i was walking up the graveyard raod at kg tungku.. haha.. must have scared the blood out of those passing by that road... who in the right mind would pick up anything trying to hitch hike there...

well got to the top of the hill... i tried to jog all the way with the bike... but i must say i did walk a few stretches too.. well it'll be good training for the triathlon =) but when i reached the petrol station at the top of the hill, my legs just gave in a crapped up... haha it's been such a long time since i felt them like this.. the last was the 30th km of the sckl marathon.... i couldn't even stand up straight ... the were so pain and felt as hard as rocks... i just collapsed at the side of the road.... tried to stand up, and just screamed in agony.. boy, i've never felt such a genuine scream in my life =D

that feeling of suffering was just... amazing

lying down in the dark... thank God no car squished me..

so took a break.. tried to hitch a ride, still no luck... was crazy thirsty, drank some free water from the petrol stations tap beside the air pump...... air pump.. flat tire.. how ironic ..

basically i got home safe... and had the best sleep of my life...

so sorry 10th may was such a busy day, if not i would have dropped by with a brithday cake =) (just kidding, i didn't even remember it was your birthday) =P

GE 13

Lord, I've prayed that Your will be done.
I am a believer that You are a God who listens.
Because You're real.
The outcome, I accept.
Not my will but Your's be done.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

why i love riding

There are so many things that breaks God's heart.

how could i go through everyday life being oblivious to this fact. i always wondered what life would be like not knowing God. not knowing that there is a great being out there whose care for us caused His very life.

to just walk, to not feel, to not burden in the heart, to not be obligated.

passion for the lost compassion for the needy.

thats why i love cycling. with a bike, one can stop anytime anywhere anyplace that most vehicles cant.

was cycling to petaling utama one day... stopped by at a bus stop opposite assumption church .. to drink some water.. one of the very few times i actually felt dry and thirsty cycling on my way.. since the previous times it was always raining and i could sip in sky juice once in a while...

there was a dude sitting there too. no slippers ... shaggy cloths... unkempt hair... something inside me.. no, not something.. i knew what it was.. it was the Spirits prompting.. said.. go over and talk to him...

i hesitated... and then i felt the prompting again, not wanting to wait the third time, i went over... and chatted.. his name was Ram, he came here for mass, but there wasn't any that night.. he needed cash to get back onto the busy... he didn't have enough and needed 4.50

i walked back to my bacg, took out my wallet, and there inside stood one fat 20 bucks.... i felt so rich and blessed at that moment.... 20 bucks....... i felt rich with 20 bucks..... sigh, anwyays didn't have small change... and i knew if i gave this yellow note to him, i would have no cash later to eat dinner with...

screw dinner, this guy looks skinnier than me xD

walked over, gave him the 20 bucks, a hug and a News everlasting that will never run out of grace, mercy and all we need for providence in life.

and beheld tears stream down his yellowish eyes.

God's love, burns brighter than the sun.
more beautiful than words could ever say.
This endless love, shinning over all,
it leads me to your glory everlasting..

awake my soul, open my eyes
to see the countless things in this nation,
which i pass by everyday,
that breaks Your heart.

preppers.

theory: the idea of prepping is a sub-conscious trick to get people to start back contribution in and as a community and prevent the economic collapse as predicted if people would just remain as empty-self consumers by instilling fear of the future. it is a pre-event prevention solution. (if it works) =P

i think its good that people are prepping for an economic downfall.

why so? because if they can grow their own vegetables, sustain thier own lives and a few love ones around them, generate electricity and live off the grid, then the burden on the nation to support this growth woul be lessened.

if everyone prepped, then it'll just be like in the old caveman days where people could sustain themselves.

ofcause, i think the consumers out there and thier power of purchasing is wayyy more than the preppers contribution to society. we just consume too much to live in comfort and luxury. and not like prepping actually gives you enough produce to sustain plenty other people.. (although i've seen some who can really make lots of wine from uneaten grapes and grow veggies and fish via aquaculture enough to sell to others, thus making thier own business at the same time in this post-modern era)

yup make money while prepping for the end, not bad eh? =D

well i wonder who actually came up first with the idea of 'prepping' . maybe it was an economist who foresaw the future if people just keep on consuming and jacking up the dept instead of working hard and being part of the community, bearing thier own weight. but to get the idea across to the common people, he choose to communicate by a means of instilling fear. fear is what drives people sometimes. so then, without knowing, the people who get scared actually start working hard, ie building nice homes, growing food stuff..rearing.... goats? who would ever rear a goat for milk and learn the process of coagulating it into beautiful cheese (i lovee cheese! especially in burgers) =D. if i told you to go rear a goat for no particular reason, would you? i didn't think so

so yeah, this is another of my random theories with no hypothesis, evidence, firm examples whatsoever.. just a... thought =P

this prayer i pray with all my... heart?

dilemma - to watch a free movie premier with special company and have a good satisfying time. or to travel far to a hot hall and observe a game of badminton between tiny kids.

well wasn't a very fair statement now was that?

- to gratify the desires of personal selfish happiness or to sacrifice a fleshly pleasure to get a chance to minister the most important everlasting message into children's lives whom have yet to know Him.

... jeez ... i guess praying "Lord, i want to grow closer to You" doesn't get answered in a one time gift, but instead a chance to choose in a situation.

situation presented.. to be (heavenly minded ) or not to be....

...sigh... eternity in mind?

phillip yancy: "one does not gain life by acquiring more, but instead by giving it away, and in the process finding it."

true? no? relative? ... lets find out

Cheap Grace

"Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Now at all!" -Paul

so then what's the whole point of this post? lets just read a short portion of the scripture, romans 3:5-8

But if our unrighteousness brings out God’s righteousness more clearly, what shall we say? That God is unjust in bringing his wrath on us? (I am using a human argument.) Certainly not! If that were so, how could God judge the world? 7 Someone might argue, “If my falsehood enhances God’s truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?” Why not say—as some slanderously claim that we say—“Let us do evil that good may result”? Their condemnation is just!

people who talk like that, i guess.. believe in the gospel of judas. whereby it is part of the plan to play the bad guys role so that there can be a good guy. just like how "Opposites have to exist for things(it contrast) to have definition". right.. just like how the villains anonymous in the movie wreck-it ralph said

"I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. I will always be me." - bad guy oath

i liked today's easter sermon, where yew meng told us how satan might have thought he had gotten God into a lose-lose situation after adam's fall. where if God forgave adam, he would not be just and holy. but if he did not do so, humanity would be separated from God forever. but yeap, God always wins. a hearty amen to that.

people ask: "why can't God just forgive sins? he is God after all"

“If anybody imagines that God can simply forgive us as we forgive others, that person has not yet considered the seriousness of sin or literally what a heavy weight sin is; has not realized the greatness of the one we have sinned against. And how His character is at stake here in His response to sin.” -Anselm

there's no such thing as cheap grace. happy easter Jesus said "it is finished" on the cross over and over again.. so be reconciled to God today =D

the question is not "have i received salvation because of the sinner's prayer" but "am i following Jesus"

p.s. sorry there are so many missing gaps in this post, i know the paragraphs don't link, and there could be more explanation added in between. if you really did want to know more, you would. you just would

by the beach

why would people need churches,
or even to to the temples,
to pray and read their vows,
and follow the same old bows.

to pour the tea in a cup,
to walk in circles around the fire,
or do any for that matter,
to make the officiation better?

well vows are made and stuff is paid
set by some old dude whose probably dead,
i wonder if they actually memorized it in the head,
or just followed what the pastor said.

i wonder how simple it can be,
maybe on a beach some where out there,
beside the ocean that has no memories,
and just a few friends who actually care.

to know that it is not the action of it,
that makes two become one,
its not just lighting the candles together,
but knowing two hearts are joined with each other.

i choose to love you,
even before i've met you,
putting in the ring on your finger,
is just a small part of the picture.

haha not as easy to be done than said,
with all the aunties and parents in this date

note: yeah yeah, i know there's such a thing called tradition and stuff. we've got to do our responsibilities as kids and the actions have some meanings to it

i love weddings

i love being involved with weddings,
its so fun and joy does abound.
no matter what the causes or reasons,
there is a purpose to be found.

yes its true that we can say,
looking at the past of people,
history does repeat itself if it may,
but who are we to predict the future.

generalizing was never a good thing,
assuming makes an ass of u and me,
sometimes just because of a fling,
there some much work to be done.

rushing is never a good thing,
especially when it comes to loving,
would you choose to love her in the heart,
even before the wedding ring.

so many rituals to do,
be it traditional or religious,
why do we have all this procedures,
what sense comes from following orders?

somethings are there for a purpose,
like counseling and stuff before the vow,
don't step into this deep water,
to find a stone tied to you now.

i love seeing weddings,
who doesn't.
"if anyone were to object,
do it now or forever hold his silence"
sometimes i wonder if anyone
could just stand up and shout
"DON'T DO IT NOW!"

we can never determine one's future,
the ending might be sweeter,
everyday is a chance to mature,
and its possible to swim in the water.

how lovely the wedding planner,
the girls who decorate the aisle,
they make such a beautiful banner,
even tough the time given is just a while.

yup, last minute preparations are cruel,
havoc is bound to appear,
so just hold your cool and understand,
some people have had a long day before hand.

a smiles on their faces i see,
but you can feel that it runs eerily,
something inside's a mystery,
ain't nothing can go so happily.

you just know it,
no matter how tired one may be,
the mask which looks like a perfect fit,
is one with thorns and a scribe.

pain means an experience to be gained,
hardships a chance to be tested,
would one be able to stand the drain,
and know that there is more to life mundane.

i choose to love God before her,
would she do the same,
working side by side together,
to achieve life aflame.

Paratus prius Laurus

secretary

Her eyes are really starry,
She'll get your documentary,
She'll make your life merry,
So vote ****** for Secretary!!

She looks quite tiny,
She could run for parliamentary,
but instead choose voluntary,
her tag line's quite funny.

note: a continuation

this Flesh

The tongue is so evil,
should i cut it off.
These eyes are full of lust,
should i gorge them out?

This hands steal so many things,
This fingers are guilty with debauchery,
This legs are quick to evil,
These feet walk on accursed land.

"What is a tear, if not the
thawing of a frozen heart"
God created all things to be good,
So for You dear Lord, make em' good.

-no idea when i wrote this-
note: yeah i know "this" in stanza two is supposed to be "these" but this was what i wrote in the book... so yeah... find out its meaning .. i actually really didn't want to post this up. of fear that it would taint peoples perception of me.. but then again, how long can one hide, the things that will all come to light. i would rather confess the murder, than bury the bones in a closet of under the carpet... that one day it might come out to haunt me. but this i know, my Savior lives... and for all these He has ransomed me..

when i re-read the last stanza, i remembered why i wrote this.. it wasn't to remind my self or tell others about my sins.. (eh wait.. who said it was mine? it could be referring to anybody and people in general!!) ..now wehre was i... oh yeah...but instead, the whole purpose of writing this.. why why i should be writing anything at all... is to point back to Him at the end of the day.

Gloria in excelsis Deo

The Secret to sleeping

3 stages of sleep in life,
As a baby: we are forced to sleep when we don't want to
As an adult: we want to sleep but we can't
As an old person/teenage: we don't want to sleep but we do

There's so much to talk about sleep,
How it repairs the body, the biological clock, the sleep cycles.
How to get a better sleep: milk, breathing deep, slow music
some insomniacs even require drugs.

The hormone melatonin is the trick,
Don't play computer or look at your phone's bright screen,
it reduces the release of this key,
so does anxiety for tomorrows exam.

So trust in the Lord,
and He will grant rest,
His peace be upon you,
That you may sleep your best.

-written on 22nov2012-

note: i got the 1st paragraph from somewhere, but can't remember. hope you can have a good nites rest after reading this!! =D

The Peak

A student has many stages,
From UPSR, PMR SPM to STPM
One weird thing about them,
is they hit the Peak at different points.

If one were to score 5A's in UPSR
The memory is retained so strongly,
It is hard to unlearn it all and
absorb the new format, what more information.

This, it is hard at PMR and SPM,
A student who did badly in UPSR,
can choose to hit the peak later,
Scoring much better at SPM.

Of cause there are those who are always at the peak,
and those who never tried to climb.

-written on 22nov2012-

author's note: now i know this is not entirely true, nor not true at all. it does bear some truth for some while nothing at all for others. when i was wring this i had in mind friends, whom i've seen do badly in the early parts of school but score the best in senior high. and there are those who score in primary but start flunking in high school... so yeah it all depends actually, if the person continues to work hard or become lazy. but sometimes its just a mental barrier kinda thing.

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving" -Oliver Wendell Holmes

whenever we have achieved success, don't brood over it for long, keep on moving on. especially when a position of power has been gained.

Exams

Why do students get so stressed?
Studying like crazy for an exam.
Before hand there's so much uncertainty,
Something you should leave to God's hand.

Do your part,
and trust in your heart.
Whatever comes out in the paper,
is just some random luck.

Academic excellence does not determine life,
Though many a times it feels like it.
Surrounded by achievers and success,
One can only feel obliged to follow the skit.

Missing out the true calling,
We stick to a path too often,
Not daring to be adventuring,
Some take their life for this stupid thing.

-written on 16nov12-

author's note: basically the last line sums up what i didn't really like abt the pressure that could build up due to various exams in life.. not just academic things, but other everyday test we go though... suicide is .. erm.. the worst way to waste a life.

of cause the other part of this poem, is that we gotta do our part and not leave everything to God... thats called laziness, yet still find peace in knowing that not everything is in our control.. especially what questions are to come out... so, final words: may you find divine Peace in Him.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -phil 4:6-7

ICE BREAKER

A great mystery in life,

How playing games together can be,

The winner feels great,

the looser feels dead.

Team morale is something mystique,

How a single person who leads,

can change the whole team in peace,

without one, everyone just seems.. pissed

No leaders only followers,

the team stares at each other,

in boredom, thus they

lose out, and feel like... mush

If there was no loser,

There would be no winner,

so have some sportsmanship,

and smile for the friendship

-written on 16NOV12-

authors note: ok so maybe the 2nd and 3rd stanza didn't rhyme much. but owh well, atleast the last one wasn't so bad. the 3rd stanza was referring to a certain particular situation in a camp. there was this group of youngings that were just so tired (probably due to lack of sleep) .. and they were so crabby that they didn't even want to practice for the performance night, having no discussion what so ever, they just did some B grade item. sad rite.... group dynamics.. discern it.

TEMPER

An utterly weird phenomena it is,
How an adolescence of certain age,
Gets some hormonal imbalance in the head,
And is pissed off at any random word said.

To surpass this evil urge inside me,
Was not an easy path to take,
to not let my tongue reign free,
but to keep on reasoning silently,
containing them in the head only.

-written on 15 nov 2012-
author's comments: hmm this was one of the much earlier tries at 'poetry' that i found written in some ancient book.. gonna post them up just for keeps sake. this particular one was a cin chai attempt and didn't have any nice flow to it. but yeah, i guess it helps me to speak my mind out. haven fun reading this collection =D btw its written a long long time ago accordnig to those dates, most of the things have passed and minght possibly not have anything to do with what i currently feel, but be sure it was something la at those moments.

the end?

"you can't change the past, bear the consequences of the mistakes.
you can choose what to do in the present, its not what circumstance you're in, its how you'd respond
to influence the future... *insert funky line here* "

so yeah, everyone would have a different idea of what they want in the future rite?
certain dreams, goals, life purposes to achieve.

we'll all die in the end anyway. tough i do not look forward to the end physically (i really would like to enjoy life on earth), yet i wonder how paul could have said he longed to be with the Lord.

when will my soul ever have that great a desire. that everyday it would be a fresh one. hmmm..

"keep eternity in mind" .. heard it so many times. yet it is so hard to actually apply. why is it hard? shouldn't doing the right thing be easy? why is it so much simpler to indulge in sin and yet we have to strive and fight for righteousness... what really is the breast plate of righteousness that i'm teaching my small pre-teens group about...

so many questions, i'm glad that they do speak up and ask

owh well, life's.... a joy. each day

as mr wise-guy soloman once wrote:

"This is the end of the matter. All has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man."

yup... hopefully i'll get to enjoy life at the same time =P

car accident, casio F201, Sennheiser HD 380 Pro

 so waiyan got into an accident. at federal. she was going straight, her right of way, green light...
and a car came from the left, it was red ligh for him, but the one furter down was green. trolling light.
so he banged her read left door, she lost control, and went up the curb on the left and into a pole.

thank God she's.. unharmed.

 made a police report, super long. so many things to get... car manufecture date la, insurance la, blablabla...

no matter how safe you drive, there will be some accidents that are cause by others and not one's self.
it is inevitable, it happens. owh well... the guy who bang her was really nice, young guy, polite, genuine. caring.

owh, and my trusty watch broke after all these years... had it since.. errr...  crazy long ago..  form..1?

and i proud to say it has only changed its battrey once.... was quite hard to open up.. lots of mini clips and a shortcircuite reset required.. but.. anyways thats all done.... its gonna retire now.. after all the mud and grim i've put it through in scout camps, all the swimming and water torrents, all the speed works on bikes, etc etc... it did break before, but i mange to find the small piece and glue it back.. this time a frisbee hit it and yeah... the chassis broke.. =( oowh well... time to move on and not be so sentimental

and.... cash converter was selling a shenhizer HD380 pro at RM299.... went back home to check out the reviews.. went back the next day to grab it.. it was too late.. gone di!!! =(

haha

"an opportunity only opens for a certain period of time,

grab it before it closes"