dr dolittle

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K2HIZgzAiyE&feature=youtu.be

I would have tagged you if i could. You loved to play the sims. What a good interior decor partner you would have been.

I just wactch the dr dolittle movie.

Anjmals, you love them.

And the theme of lily inside.. Sigh 

I.. miss...

memory

Everyone can remember well. Its weather we want to train our brains to remmeber things or not. If we keep outsourcing the task of memorising to the smartphone then.. We become dumber

complaints

To believe in Jesus..

Is not to complain. 

But choose to think about love

yes no

'To do' is to 'Not do'. It's okay to say "No" to be able to say "Yes"

justin and jienn's wedding

got called to help out in registration
wore my silver watch but forgot to calibrate the date to the correct one, it showed 16 haha. but the first uncle that came in asked the date "is it the 19?" i was like uhhh...


was supposed to watch the wine, the person came to find me
i didn't take note about which meal was being served,
i took out four boxes straight (after 8 boxes were used up), maybe i should have went slow and do 2 or 3 boxes first. i told them to chill, and pour less. but then, the bartender was like, no worries.. sure can. haha okayyy

i hope he followed his way and not mine. who wants to be stingy on wine on a wedding dinner

was walking to pei about working in church.
her challenge to me: work full time. learn to commit

hmm should i do that. or should i take up part time and work with Chumbaka. I'm still thinking about going to teach the children in sembulan every day from 3-5pm. with off days on maybe friday and saturday?

when i went to another table to talk (the frisbee group)
i forgot to tell pei or eric that i was going over. they seemed busy talking with the people that were beside them. so yeah. maybe there's a rhythm to things

izzudin is working in the enforcement, crime investigation department in SFD now. cools
gabrile is in a vape shop in telupid, earning cash. he stays at the hosues in menggatal just before sepanggar.

azwan is staying in.... her old house... i used to go there so much... every.. night...

krys asked about the paul smith shoes being too big.
"yeah i know right, finally an occasion that i can wear my red formal shirt, to match the red shoes"

"yeah its a lil big in size, but just like life, we learn to grow into the shoes we wear"
"walking around in the start was tricky"

how long should lines or comments be,
when should we start listening to others.

give pauses so that they can interject in

"so emery can join frisbee one day?"
justing tried to bring jienn to play too, she was like owhh.. *hide* *hide*

haha "you can do your other sports"
e: "shopping"

me:....

"haha yeah, lots of cardio, walk more than a marathon"

so many things i wanted to say that night,
but my brain was just too slow to say it.

unlike the other night that we had the dinner,
the lines were just flowing..


let the conversations just flow.
thats nice

awkwarddd...

at the end of the dinner didn't get to say thank you to justin and jienn,
said bye to the parents tough.

and jessica. didn't get to chat much with her.
so creepy i told her to have a good flight, even tough we never talked.
it's because i found out about it form her mom. lol. she has a flight at 5 am tmr.

i asked uncle mike: so whose the wedding coordinator, planner.. event planner?
lol, none, they just do it themselves. aunty E's good at this.

"ah btw the boxes of door gifts and CD's are outside"
"would you like me to put them in the car for you first?"

"so i guess i dont have to go to your house anymore to stay over"

... so many things left unsaid...


weddings...

bleh.. who wants to get married.

so many people brought their plus ones.
some didn't..

some seemed happy.
some...

i dont know..

will i ever have a partner..
someone i can call...

my.. da.. r.. =/

=(

i..

i..

zz

goodnight,
have sweet dreams

10 ideas

Ticked the boxes for some of the points..

How I'd wish we could just stay in love with each other and all the problems will go away. 

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/10-ideas-for-people-afraid-to-exit-a-relationship/

25 Nov 2018

Revelations 16:15
Do you have your clothes on?

Spiritual garments
1. Isiah 61:10 - garments of Salvation, robes of righteousness.

New creation, Old has passed away all become new from the inside out.

The language of the Bible defines us.
The prodigal son. Like a pig. He is a son. Not a slave. There are rights and privileges given to us, because of 'relationship'. We serve Him, with eh right mindside. Because we love Him, He is wonderful, He...

The best robe. The kind worn by Kings. King of Kings. Revelations 1:6 we are Kings and priest. We are Kings.

He tells us how to operate under Him. He directs us.

A garment of praise

Ephesians 4:22
Put off the old man, Old lifestyle
Put on the new man, new creation

When you read the Bible
It changes the way you think about things
And when you think about things
You act upon those things

When you think about something long enough,
You want to do it

Change the way you act
Spending time in the word renewing your mind

Philippians 2:12
Work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

The fact that you have a desire to change, is a fact that God is already working in you.
He wills in you, he enables you. As we yield to the Holy Spirit that is in us.

4. Ephesians 6:10-18
Spiritual armour

5. Luke 24:49
Endued with power from on high
Live the way you ought to live.
It will bring confusion if your lifestyle doesn't not line up with God's power in our lives. 

19 Jan 2019 yby

Private public partnership.
Comit sharing of savings.
Enerygy efficiency goal.

Finance by: bank
Because of the government backing.

Think creatively.
Easier for minister to do it than civil sefvants to execute it. As a subordinate you need to find a way to lobby the leader.

Peace. That burden to be somewhere. Didn't heard God's voice. Try to hear God's leading thorough leaders and pastors.

Conviction not

Is an open door. Things just happen. God open. If you become a ministry or is from God, and of our from God take our with faith and do it excellently. Get yourself busy and be prepared.

Q10. Background. Empatieze. Go see chief minister. Even if it was a private trip. Good thing I change clothes. Sensitive to their needs. Baju luring. Malaysian politician. They want to see you are a part of them. How you dress, will portray. Who you are.

Dressing alone alot edi.

Racist. Framing. How do you frame the discussion. Economic on the race and religion lense. Don't fall into the frame of the enemy. The perspective. I focus on delivery. Noises instead of voice that will bring the country forward.

Q11. Which character. Moses. I thought we won't rezch the promise land. Esther, that position, what we should do. Ezekiel. Different times, different biblical characters in spiritual life.

Science and tech, we don't focus on particular fields. What is strategic for the economy of the country. Tangible. How to commercialise more tech.

Climate change. Its happening. COP24.

Q12. Your so successful. Politics is temporarily. Its just a responsibility. Entrusted. It'll pass. What to improve on, EQ. I'm an impatient person, it's my character. When I'm angry, I eat chocolate. I'm angry at this character. I send my staff to them. Prepare them to see me. Working on Patience. Long meetings, long winded.

I must be a good person. Let the staff do the dirty work xD

Confidence, build or natural? When you know your thing you'll be confident. Public speaking. She couldn't do it back then, two weeks before speaking cant eat. Speak and repeat then you get better. Practice more. Problem with malay, Chinese... And English. So she go kampung speak more.

Hobby. Something you do natrualy. When you're free do will do it wan. YbY is holiday, the beach. Reading, watch TV. 1 two days off, she go beach. Clears the mind, can make better dicisions.

Q13. Regrest or failures.
She can't think off anything her head now.
Didn't spend enough time with her late aunt.
Passed away a non believer.

Make dicisions: will I regret.

Bee Hong.
Brought youth to the parliament. Life change. Feedback. How do we move forward. Not being able to express or advocate what we believe in. Thought to listen to authority, without questioning.

Critises and analyse.

How to ask the correct question and look intelligent.
I just like making jokes. Cheeky person. Depends on my mood. Leaders need to ask questions.

4W. Quite helpful. Ask the process of it. Meticulously in asking. Must do your homework. Processes are the same.

Normal meeting: so this is what we're doing and how and when? When can you come back to me.

What is a good question to ask?

If you don't want to answer, stick to not answering.

Q14. How to balance. Time. Priority.
What is the one thing you do, other things don't matter. Task, urgency and critically.

Urgent: time
Critical: importance.

Q15. Two years 5 years 10 years plan.
A reshuffle. How do you see things down the line. Set it in a way that is not reversible. An ecosystem. It's uncomfortable and inconvient to do. If it's easy to reverse and change.

50 years goal. 28 open day.

ADUN. Counselors. How they get things done. High performing. Engineer. Approve.? He likes to bring down other people.. Shot-stirrer. He is very toxic. Keep on saying want to quit and resign. Gave up on him. This person bring negative spirit to the team, effects me emotionally. He want to feel importance.

I regret not doing it much earlier.
People whom you know you should kot be a part of what you do. You should remove them immediately.

There is no one that is indispensable.

Talk to him. Understand the situation. Curable? People have weaknesses. As a leader help them. If they forever cannot change.. Cut them off.

Cut the tumours off.

22 Mar 2019

Social media does impact our patience,
How things become faster and faster

Patience correlates with how fast technology is

Less patient to the ones we love (graph)

No matter how slow you walk,
You will arrive

17 Feb 2019

3 keys to spiritual success - Gary soon, PPBC

Proverbs 3:7-10

True wisdom, in the Word of God

Nature of knowledge.

Church theme is Ascend

1. Humily

2. Holiness

3. Honor

V7. Do not be wise in your own eyes

A) pride is the first step to a downfall (porv 16:18)

-sometimes we think we are so good at doing something, we forget God is the one that enables us

- self conceited. Don't give attention to instruction and improvement. 

- become hasty in judgments and over confident, doing whatever you want without seeking God. Even in matters of importance, not asking for advice. 

- guard against the fascination of novelty, I.e. The Internet. 

James 1:5 - worse sign: neglecting to ask the council of God. 

:) consider the humility of Jesus (Phil 2:5-7)

2) holiness identifies us as Christians

I) fear the Lord and depart from sin

Romans 11:20 - do not be proud/arrogant but tremble.

Nehemiah 5:15 - out of reverence for God, I did not act like the others did

In all our dealings, make sure because God sees us, we are mot doing anything in private. If we have healthy fear, we will do what is right. 

ii) reverential trust in Him

iii) we recognizer the Holy life of Jesus as our example.

Knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. With the HG, we can understand better. 

When sin comes into play, it is harder to be intimate with God. 

What you say to others makes alot of difference. 

3. Hornoring God in Giving, increases His blessings. 

i) honor the Lord with your wealth. With the firstfruits of all your crops (v9)

-put your money where your mouth is

You cannot give leftovers

-Not how much money I give to God, but how much of God's money do I keep for myself

-The amount is not important, its the heart. Remember the widow with the two coins. 

- even when you don't have enough

- don't steal from God

ii) giving teaches us the joy of living by faith

a) fear says "I am afraid to give" 

b) faith says "I'm so blessed I can't withhold" 

Health: the physical benefits that flow from being right with God

1) we are able to forgive because we have been forgiven

2) we can stop worrying because we have learn to trust God

3) we find real joy because we walk in God's eill

4) new life in Christ kmrpives health in both body and soul

When God calls you, do it

Reputation for good judgement

Pleasure, peace, protection

You are not against God

God's favour is with you

No life is so sinful

That God cannot turn around

Proverbs 3

dissonance

Jesus has overcome the power of death.
even the death of three.
He is the one that gives life,
even life to us.

Our lives need to revolve around Him,
He is the center of it all.
If ever my life were to revolve around myself,
or even you... then we would be off course

We would be deviant from the plan
the original plan.
yes we've got free will,
but what is it good if we use it to choose,
that which is not meant for us.

I want the best,
for both of us.
i try to make the choice,
i make the wrong choices,

i try to turn things around
i try to fix things,

but not everything can be fixed.
not everything can be brought to perfection

not by my own hands,
its time for me to learn that
that i cannot fix everything

its time for me to understand that,
i dont need to watch videos to the end
or listen to songs to the last beat
or read a book from cover to cover.

dis..

dissonance

You Foolish Men - Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz

"You foolish men who lay

the guilt on women,

not seeing you're the cause

of the very thing you blame;

if you invite their disdain

with measureless desire

why wish they well behave

if you incite to ill.."

-Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz 

the first two paragraphs by a nun,

she didn't want to get married

but instead pursue the hunger for knowledge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wSOt3z_-YY

well... when i read this,
i feel like this is what i've done to you.

i'm so sorry the one i love,
i've ruined, both of us.

how can this be non tragic!

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/a-non-tragic-view-of-breaking-up/

Can break ups be good?

I really want the best for you. 

You're a wonderful person

I might not be the right one :(

14 for the 13

didn't write a log yesterday
morning: school, forgot to turn off the water when refilling my water bottle

afternoon: 2-4pm badminton coaching with cherose, maybe we can just pay for one hour next time

night: karaoke with Jim, Loke and Denice

came back home so tired and went to sleep

i miss you, i hope you're healing well

pain after running

So last time it was my sartorius when playing Frisbee.

Then it was my glut when badminton.. 

Now my left inner knee, bursitis

12/1/2020 this is day three, yesterday was day two

Picked up tatsuro and shogo for church. Japanese guys aren't religious nowadays, but they're very respectful.

Sembulan was amazing. Went around to houses. Don't promise kids what you can't keep. Some have IC's they should go school. 

Took the wrong bus (to Likas instead of sepanggar) the bus driver didn't charge me when I hopped off. How nice. Only in sabah. 

Hmm.. Today is the first day... 

Wow

11/1/2020 thirdy day?

i think it's the third day.
saturday.

woke up naturally.
didn't need to use the alarm

was deciding where to go
watched a short animea with Jim
Bofuri: I don't want to get hurt so i maxed out my defence

such a funny anime, it's almsot like Naofumi, the shield hero
\or the time i got reincarnated as a slime

then, i took a trip down to Likas Complex to watch Niel take part in a chinese traditional costume contest.

it was nice to find out that the chinese do this kinda things once every year.
two weeks before CNY (on the 24th Jan). all the lions, dragons and unicrons come togethr for something called "the Gathering"

had a good time trying out super ultra broken mandrin,
and kantonese.. lol

had free lunch

Daniel dropped me back off,
had a good chat in the car
he's going to try t fix his back bone at Body Care, took a x-ray at gleneagles
its really senget, makes me think about what my back looks like

took a nap in the afternoon

woke up to chat with nicole,
crystal called

we sorta.. broke up =/
again

because of my inablitiy to not flirt with other girls
sigh

really?
is it really considered as cheating to give passing compliments to others?
man life sucks for it to be so dull

well... whatever

sigh

T.T

tears..
sadness?

no..

apathy
the lack of being able to feel emotions
she cried, i try to empathise
but something in me is.. relief

sigh

why

this is serious
she was the love of my life
i just got a post card from her

am i willing to throw away everything just for this
gahhh



break up?
stay together?

break up?

what the heck am i supposed to do?
keep fighting for you?
call you back?


but.. but... youre not supposed to be the center of my life
my life is in ruins now

cant you see!

i hate my bloody life right now
it sucks

really badly....


i just want to be ...

alone..

give me some time to be by myself


i'm just so sorry..

i cannot be there for you now..

not right now


i need to take care of my own self first right now.

goodbye for now.. maybe forever... i dont know

god...


God

10/1/2020 the first day

okay so lets try to restart the year .. well this time.

woke up naturally, i took a nap in the afternoon. woke up by a phone ring, half way

gee, there was a little bit of... slow response from the body

i think this is like a hangover, would take a few days to recover i guess

had the simple breakfast of cereal and almond soya

god hungry by lunch time,

i cooked one whole cup of rice, which i manage to eat with vegetables bought form downstairs, ladies fingers. RM1.80 for a full meal. not bad.

wen to the gym and swim in the morning.

slow morning.

hmm what did i achineve today.

walked around the mall.

homeware shops. wanted to buy a food contained, then i remmebred that i have some at home.

and i.. can always use one of those containers in the house, doesn't need to be a fancy one.

how do i center my life around God?

watched a youtube by mark from KC on taking the next step

thanks fro sharing elisha.

yeah sometimes we really dont know what the destination would be.

and we think tyhat we just want to reach the end, but not going through the journey.

its follwing Jesus that transforms us.

am i being transformed? gee.. i dont feel like it.

i think the world is transforming me more often than not

if only i could just take one hour a day to write my thesis.

man the discipline is bloooody hard.

not everything we do would be spectacular,

\somethings.. most things would be ordinary.

but its in doing all the ordinary things constantly,

that leads up to something spectacular

many. i should really really try to quite facebook and social media.

today was good,

i had a moment of.. epiphany.

could feel the frontal cortex of my brain being in a .. relaxed state.

it was a nice feeling.

caught Final Space episode 3. man.. sooo sooo dark

i laughed. but yeah.. it is dark!

also watched Sadie from Passion 2020

wah she's so young, 1997 but married,.

the way she talks is so.. raw

about haveing a relationshyip with Jesus

i learnt one new thing today!

when Jesus came back after his ressurection and peter came to him on the beach..

it was to.. fish cooked over fire

over fire, that's where peter deined Jesus

wow.

there would be things that remind us of our past.

but the maazing thing about Jesus is that...

he can literally turn anything around for His good.

if we just let Him..

God.....

where are you?

i know this isn't a real question.. rethoric.

but. yeah..

i know its not a bout feeling You and all,

but is sooo hard..

to live life these days.

daily every day

dada by dad just waking up..

wondering..

what would i be doing today.

sigh

9/1/2020 second day

woke up this morning after having my first night of sleeping
second thing in the morning

triggers. catching up with Final Space season 2.
tought of going for gym and swim
didn't manage to do my chinese lesson
didn't get anything done today really.

except at 2.30 i went down to plaza shell using the bus
and sat at Der something.. should have ordered a salad. could feel the hunger cruch
owh i was in bataras, buying.. v-soy. walked aroudn looking at groceries, no moood to cook.
ingredients, why? i tought cooking would be fun... isn't it not? maybe not for some people

after the meeting with tatsuro, shogo and daniel..
sent them home to likas sqaure, invited them for church
had october yougrt salad with Abel, he's vegan now. haha after watching game changers on netflix during the silent retreat after being overstimulated by Moana.

all the puns that night, the pun game is streong with ethan adn elisha
soething about people being able to make puns when their mind is sharp

mine wasn't i was blurr... and spacing out
had a life update,
1 minute silence.
learning to empathise with others

campuslife review,
updates

christmas clothes from Abel
got a pair of paul smith's.. haha krystina made a comment that they were well made.
yeah they were comfrotable

why did i take them? because of the value?
i should have said no?

"do you want to keep them? i mean, they belong to you as much as abel cause youre.. soul mates" haha

sould mates: officially.

to be equally yoke or not.
tell crystal about what happens in my life,
ask her questions about what happens in hers.
what;s her friends and housemate names/?
i dont know.. she'll be moving soon anyway

the conversation i had with abel was relaly good.
he asked about walk with God

is He the center of my life?
or am i the center?

he says so many good quotes,
why cant i remmeber them

paying attention to God or
giving attention to God

there's a difference

when we pay we expect to get something back in return
when we give we're just there. expecting nothing

just like best friends calling each other,
no intetion to ask for things

just catching up

why cant i do that more now adays,
build relationships more than... waste time on social media
social media isn't social

its anti-social

quite youtube,
quit facebook
quit....

2020 the year of...

journalling,
reading the bible
praying

at night

just finishied a call with joshua 12.13 am
it was nice to just call up a friend and chat about things
not calling them to ask for something

or did i? did i call him to ask him to help me to apply for the NZ working visa?
i hope not.

i shouldn't contact people just becasue i want something from them.
i should call them to establish a real relationship with them

how about my cell group memebers?
dod i call them up to cehck how they are ddoing?

mman i haven't typed so long with a keyboard
i see a tonne of spelling mistakes
just like how when i used to type last time

haha

this is nice..
typing agian