quarter life crisis

been browsing a few blogs... when i should be studying for final exams tomorrow.
sigh, came across so many christian blogs especially with missionaries (and mormon's too)
(something about google predictions that i dislike)

it's amazing, the life of these people.
so... all out.. dedicated... to Jesus.

aren't i a christian too? why am i not doing things like that.
not.. having a full time missionary life.

well... i always say to myself that "God has placed me where i am for a purpose"
and that my job for now is.. to finish off university... find a job? work.. get married and have a family.. and then what..?

share Christ along the way? i've tried. i've learnt from Crystal that..

Love is spoken with Actions.

how true, God.... please help me.. i.. don't want to be a hypocrite,
just learning the law, and trying to impose it on others..

in.. judging.. and .. contempt.. condescending..

gosh... i need to STOP COMPLAINING so much...
(i notice i've been very negative the past few months,
as if.. laughter and joy has left my body)

GOd.. help me to see the brighter side of things.
Gosh...

it feels like a dilemma in life.

heck, if all else fails,
just give up everything and become a missionary right?
hah.. that's not how it works..

we're all called to different offices and service.

I for one.. right now... have to... focus on what would bring glory to God.
focus on.. my relationship with God..

it seems like it's fleeting,
as if... its becoming more superficial

what is life?
why can't i be a pluralistic guy believing in all religions,
heck i would to try out tao-ism or zen buddishm one day

but i've been thought as a kid that i should have no other gods before You.
(as goes the Sunday School song)

haha wait a minute... it says "before" ... so does it mean that i can have some "after" You?
lol.

nah, I know who the real God is,
I have felt Him before, seen His works in my life,
read His Living Word...

I just need to.. focus ...

focus...

get away from all this distractions
so many distractions.. man.. Satan, you doing a good job.

but i hope i wont fall into temptation,
just like how my lord Jesus didn't give in when he was hungry .. didn't eat the stone..
nor bow down to the devil to get all of the cities on this earth...
nor jump down... to test the angles.

i should stop testing God...
and start.. living for Him...

will i ever grow up?
or will i continue to play computer games, watch animea and stuff..
and waste.. waste.. waste my life away..

always seaching for the next new smartphone,
headphones, camera.. bla bla bla..

without ever using the one i have to its fullest potential.
without ever being contended..

really.. really.. knowing...
about something

zzz