Honesty

Yeah probably putting one's self in another's shoes would help to make the article more sensible. Haha my bad on thinking it was selfish

But yeah, relationships within family members is a core thing of how God made this world. But we need to love God above them, for us to really love them.

I really like how Jesus says that if “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26 NIV

I love my dad. Not because of what he's done, but because of God. I would my father regardless of what he's done. That's how he brought me up, through the example of loving as how God would love.

I wasn't thought it though words, I learnt it through living in a family that just practiced what God wanted.

Hence, there was no dissociation...

There is no need to rebel,
There is no need to gain attention, or to compare.

I wasn't compared, there was no favouritism, no said expectations to live up to.

No expectations were asked of me, but I still knew about them in my heart. That it was not for men's expectations to be met, but God's. Not my father's , not my teacher's or pastor's or friend's or boss's

The moment I started to live for others instead of God. That's when the horrible feeling of meaninglessness came in. Everyday was a drag. Work, ministry, relationships..

No doubt the consequences were due to my choices. And the healing doesn't happen over night. But it's in the process...

We all are broken, none of us are perfect. And if we were to potray a life as such, then better for my neck to be tied to a stone and thrown into the river. For I would become condescending, and that would in turn turn others away from God.

Am I proud or ashamed to be a son. A son of whom? My dad? Or God? My identity is not in my family, but in my relationship with God. I was not actively conscious about this when I was little, but now as a young adult I see the importance of realising and internalising this truth.

For even if my pastor or father or wife to be shall be anything other than what I expect them to be... If they shall fail. I would not hold it against them. For I too am in as much grace as them.