Monday, March 30, 2015

take me as i am

We abandon the most important journey of our lives when we abandon desire, We leave our hearts by the side of the road and head off in the direction of fitting in, getting by, being productive, what have you. Whatever we might gain-money, position, the approval of others, or just absence of the discontent itself-it's not worth it. "what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matt. 16:26)

- excerpt from Desire, Chpt 1: Our heart's deepest secret. John Eldredge.

Ah Dear God,
How fa i've come, away from you. how far i've been traveeling without You by my side. How wrong was i to think that i could live this life my way. TO do the things that pleases me instead of You. To be alone and independent from the divine source of life itself.

i've tried. life suddenly seems so meaningless in all this pleasure and achievements.
Dear God, please captivate my heart once again. IN your grace and mercies, let me keep what i have obtained, yet be given wholly to You. the Sacrifice to be made seems to great a burden to bear by myself.

Yes i know it all in my head, to abandon and leave behind, to have it all. Like Abraham and Issac. You let him keep his son, cause you are faithful to your promise.

THat i dont have to ber the burden by myself, cause its with you i share the yoke with.

Gahh... why God why.. why has life gotten so busy, so messy. so fragmented. did i try to do too many things. did i ask for too much? more than i could have handled?

GOd... i need you. i Need you.. i belong to You.

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