Silence. Sacrifice

I came to meet Him,
Yet I desire to look at a performance.

I came to see Him only,
Yet I mingle with others whom I'd see outside.

I came to raise up my hands to Him,
Yet I'm so self conscious.. About the people around me.

I came to rest in Him,
Yet I fall asleep on the pews.

Silence.
I .. Don't feel this "tangible presence",
Its like there is an umbrella that blocks the Rain falling down.

This all suddenly seems so ritualistic,
Passion, energy, zeal, dreams, favour,
All seems super. .. Sigh..

The masses around me,
Speaking in strange tongues that I do not understand... Nor does anyone else...

God, you understand.
You know how I few,
When I don't feel you.

You know .. How dry I feel.
There is no song that can be sung in this desert..

Yet your Word, shall always be a light onto my feet, and a lamp onto my path.

Guide me Lord, when i am blind.

I feel like dying, i know i am..
only you can give me life.
A meaningful one.

You died for me,
Yet I can't seem to surrender to you.

Sacrifice.
Where should I go?

Wait no... Before that...
What do I need to give up...?