take me as i am

We abandon the most important journey of our lives when we abandon desire, We leave our hearts by the side of the road and head off in the direction of fitting in, getting by, being productive, what have you. Whatever we might gain-money, position, the approval of others, or just absence of the discontent itself-it's not worth it. "what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matt. 16:26)

- excerpt from Desire, Chpt 1: Our heart's deepest secret. John Eldredge.

Ah Dear God,
How fa i've come, away from you. how far i've been traveeling without You by my side. How wrong was i to think that i could live this life my way. TO do the things that pleases me instead of You. To be alone and independent from the divine source of life itself.

i've tried. life suddenly seems so meaningless in all this pleasure and achievements.
Dear God, please captivate my heart once again. IN your grace and mercies, let me keep what i have obtained, yet be given wholly to You. the Sacrifice to be made seems to great a burden to bear by myself.

Yes i know it all in my head, to abandon and leave behind, to have it all. Like Abraham and Issac. You let him keep his son, cause you are faithful to your promise.

THat i dont have to ber the burden by myself, cause its with you i share the yoke with.

Gahh... why God why.. why has life gotten so busy, so messy. so fragmented. did i try to do too many things. did i ask for too much? more than i could have handled?

GOd... i need you. i Need you.. i belong to You.

Lent

You came riding on a donkey.
You did not desire the glory of the world.
Your humility puts me to shame...
My King.
Yet it is because of your choice
Your works, your grace..

That I can enter into your Kingdom.
An everlasting one

Loved

I love because I am loved.

The future

One port Usb-c
Outernet
Terraced battries

Gosh.. How is humanity going to keep up with the advancement?

Caterpillars

Caterpillars look disgusting,
And they destroy leaves too,
But one they they'll be butterflies,
Beautiful and pollinating you.

Conversations with a crush

Have you ever gotten tired of replying the message of the one you love? Maybe its just a crush..maybe its flirting..

Gosh those messages and conversations could just go on and on

Into the late nights. Into days of no end that makes months feel just like weeks.

That's how a relationship is build,
That's how we get to know one another
And desires of each other's hearts.

If only I could love you like how I love her.

Wifi

"WiFi disconnects us when we are together."

Don't bother asking for the WiFi password when going to meet a friend in his house.

Silence. Sacrifice

I came to meet Him,
Yet I desire to look at a performance.

I came to see Him only,
Yet I mingle with others whom I'd see outside.

I came to raise up my hands to Him,
Yet I'm so self conscious.. About the people around me.

I came to rest in Him,
Yet I fall asleep on the pews.

Silence.
I .. Don't feel this "tangible presence",
Its like there is an umbrella that blocks the Rain falling down.

This all suddenly seems so ritualistic,
Passion, energy, zeal, dreams, favour,
All seems super. .. Sigh..

The masses around me,
Speaking in strange tongues that I do not understand... Nor does anyone else...

God, you understand.
You know how I few,
When I don't feel you.

You know .. How dry I feel.
There is no song that can be sung in this desert..

Yet your Word, shall always be a light onto my feet, and a lamp onto my path.

Guide me Lord, when i am blind.

I feel like dying, i know i am..
only you can give me life.
A meaningful one.

You died for me,
Yet I can't seem to surrender to you.

Sacrifice.
Where should I go?

Wait no... Before that...
What do I need to give up...?

Careful

They say "you can never be too careful"

How does one define the minimal line of safety.. To distinguish it from the one end being carefree carelessness from the other being a psycho skeptimist..

Where should on err on the side of safety due to uncertainties... Or take the leap of faith, plunging into the risky depths...

Why should one give up the dream of finding Atlantis just because of the fear of the unknown?

Anyways, as much as we are advice by sages and those of old, I.e. parents how claim to have eaten more salt than their children rice.. Heed their words. But also realise that times are changing. Yes culture and tradition is one thing, the current fashion fad or happening "in-thing" is another...

Would you follow the masses at the expense of your soul? Of give up the desires of the flesh and save it?

Make no mistake what I'm saying here. Man never had salvation in his own hands... Jesus paid the suffering price of loving us. He chose the cross. And so too, the option to follow him is a choice.

Be prepared, in season and out of season. Fear not the future, for Christ is already there.