re-calibrate life

things to do:
1) Re calibrate life.

so basically, above all the assignments, outings, events, appointments,
lazing in the room, wasting time browsing manga, stopped playing games,
internet for the social network, reading books, planning

sigh, i've not been planing, or following the initial plan.
"fail to plan, and plan to fail" looks like what's headed up for me soon.

it's so wasy to just drift pass in life, day to day
without achieving anything substantial. i feel like its a waste, a big waste.
university life. here in University.. MS, there's just too much junk, too much rubbish politics.

they merged our schools, to make us faculties, less deans, bigger organizations.
i thought that good mangement would always work towards granting autonomy to smaller bodies,
breaking off and fission-ing for more efficiency.

anyways, whatever, i guess i'll just have to work around the stupidity of external uncontrollable factors.
 least i become one with stupidness. adding to this entity a of a giant messy rubbish blob.

was just taking some time in the library to brows the magazines.
boy do they have really good stuff published. i wonder how many people actually do read this.

i wonder when institutes of higher learning would become places for those hungry for knowledge to gather at,
instead of a preliminary, forced obligation to go through just before the next phase of life, working the blue/white collar from 9-5.

was speaking with my lecturer about his son going through standard 1 here. his mother was horrified that her grandchild was going though examinations. haha. in the west, it seems like schools got it right that they were meant to cultivate a nurture the natural desire of a child to be inquisitive and hungry for knowledge.

nope, definitely not what you get here in the local schools. we kill creativity, dreams and anything that is out of the marking scheme. we scare the lights outta this poor souls to have a blimy negative view on what education is for the rest of their lives. traumatizing them with the words "FAIL" that is the opposite of whatever we're expected to achieve . in .. exams....

mmhm kinda reminds me of the word "HELL" ... dont think that fail=hell anyways. or maybe.. i does.. to some sense.

anyways what i'm trying to get at is that: malaysia has got it wrong, wrong, wrong... all wrong since thhe roots. all wrong since the 'early childhood education' phase. all wrong in schools and .. all wrong here in university.

we're forced to go for lectures. wt..hell... like seriously. treating us like small kids. all the rules and regulations and crap. super conservative. no room for expansion of the mind or any sort that matters. =l ... well okay maybe not that bad la. after all, i did call this upon myself to come to sabah.

sigh, what am i doing here????? funding should be no problem, i should go look for scholarships.. yeah.. i guess that's what i'll do.. i'll run. no run away, but run to things that are better. that are greener then where i am currently.

one day i'll look back at this post and say: hey.. that's a crazy ambition.
and i'll know if it was achieved or not.

owh well..... God... where are all the bumi's i'm supposed to be mixing with.