its been a year

since you left grandma.. i can remember it.. coming back from sungkai after finishing my PLKN .. you were there lying on your bed... looking every so thin and frail.. i never liked it how people said you were 'wasting away', you didn't look sick or ill to me, yet i should know better, i wasn't home for 3months...

you kept fighting to keep alive, until i came back to see you one last time. thanks.

i clearly remember what you said to me when i walked into the room to greet you,
"did you enjoy yourself?" was the question that came out so softly, you last words to me

i never really did actually... but i said "yeah.."

thanks for teaching me one last thing,
 that no matter where i am or what i'm facing,

i shall: enjoy it

you'll always be in my heart, mama

chased down a thief

1.30.. my mom started shouting: "there's a man at our car!"
.. mhmm must have forgotten to lock the door last night...

so i ran out.. barefoot... and chased after the dude.. very easy to spot since he was wearing a red shirt... he ran trough the ally.. and was in the next neighborhood when i saw him... i i just ran across without caring about the cars..

we made some right and left turns.. then i have no idea where he disappeared to after a turn.... looked left looked right, he wasn't there.. he climbed the fence.. so i ran with him on the other side.. then he climbed into yuk chai..

so i climbed the fence.. hoping to short cut him.... and sure enough i saw him climb out of yuk chai the other side... this time i was closer to him so i ran.. and sprinted ... 1 meter away from him.. he looked behind, and ducked.. i couldn't stop, hit his crouched body, flew over him.. and made a roll

turned around garbed him with a red neck choke (thanks syanon for training submission grappling with me)

clamed him down, and started to talk to him. in BM

his name? sining bin adnan. from sabah. 41 years old.. currently looking for a job. used to work in a factory.. McD's and KFC wont employ him cause they want young kids. he told me he took RM3 frolm the car... a few coins dropped out along the way

told him about Christ .. gahhh so hard to tell it to him in BM .. something abt nabi Isa, Yesus, gereja.. ect... was super close to Grace Assembly .. wanted to take him there, but he didn't want to, said that they would be scared of him..

i had no money, i couldn't give him any food, so i just prayed for him. i really hope he can get a job.

he told me sorry for making my legs hurt, then we parted ways. i walked back limping. blisters on my feet. was worth it.

he stays in the pasar pagi at night. with a black shirt hanging there. i wonder when is the next time i'm going to meet him. and i wonder what i'll do if i meet another person like him.....

FRIENDSTER! Y U NO MORE?!

friendster is gone!?? =(

this was what was written:

4.10. Where did the photos, blogs, comments, testimonials and all the other content in my old Friendster profile go?

As part of the reformat of the site, we had to remove some of the content of your profile including the photos, albums, blogs and most parts of the profile like the "more about " info, comments and the testimonials.  All these data had been deleted and can no longer be retrieved.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i remembered i logged in a few months back in 2011... haha amazing to see how tonnes of memories in photos and 'testimonials' could be just wiped out just like that.

blah was hoping to retrieve some old stuff form it, to print, probably make a scrap book or something... but i guess its too late now.

"but i guess its too late now" ... ???? what kinda statement is that?!

so who cares if the past is wiped out.. i guess this is like a 'preparation' for when the 'new world order' comes into play.. haha... imagin all you've worked so hard for, all the time spent to achieve something ..... all take away from you, with out your consent.. gosh, life ain't fair, ten again, no one ever said it was


no point ranting over spoilt milk.

so, just like what paul said in his letter to the philllipains

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead" 

i too, shall look forward to what is ahead. everyday a choice is made, a chance to change. =D hopeful i've learnt whatever i need from the past, i'm bound to make mistakes in the future, but all i need to look forward to is the wonderful days i've got infront of me.

lesson learnt: never trust technologies to keep our memories (including facebook?), its all in the head =P

the only thing constant is change

memories that wouldn't stay

as much as i wanted them to

my brain was just degrading away

thats why there was something i needed say

decades may pass with you by my side

it would have been like that if nothing changed

but i wouldn't want to stay the same

as if every day was spent in vain

i had to make a move

a big gamble it was

to step beyond the comfort zone

into something that would bring the change

i'm not referring to the bad things i did

those were my sins, and i paid for it

i'm truly sorry for your heartbreak

it was wrong of me to be such a ...... jerk 

but now we both know

on a mutual agreement

that both parties are set free

to wonder their own way

to meet new friends

along life's new path

bumping into old ones

for an occasional laugh

its been almost a year now

until the circumstances met

even tough i sorta made a vow

i had to take the chance of this set

to rectify things to rekindle memories

to remind you of the love we once had

i don't know why, along the way

i tainted it with my sin from far away

the words i chose,

the actions i did

wasn't in line

with what i said

sometimes i said things 

that didn't make sense

but you would still listen

and understand them

there is something you must know tough

because even you said you preferred it

to be comfortable enough with someone

and be able to speak with freedom in it

i could choose to hide the things,

some topics that were uneasy

but that would meant lies to you

by no telling you the whole story

i agree i wasn't a good talker

never filtering what i said

neither was i a good listener

but still accepted all you did. (sorta)

i always wondered why you were quite

why you didn't just talk it out

i remember i used to scold you

to not backspace your msn chat typo =P

then again, i didn't really do my part

sorry i wasn't the perfect sport

pleasing you was something like art

sometimes i just missed a spot.

as much as i would love to be there

when ever you needed me

you to know that i have my own story

and i too was torn apart in agony

it wasn't easy, to choose what i chose

after calling you sweet names

for years as if there was no end

to finally say it, i had my own plan

physically, truly years had passed

a time length never heard of in school

but somehow or another

all i stayed was a young fool

a fool not because of you

but a fool not to have spoken to you

over the years we grew

i changed and so did you 

you knew me and i knew you

we would go places with out a clue

but where ever you went, i never stopped you

for i knew you would always stay true

i'm do agree i'd confused you

making you think i'll never leave you

but if you saw me in the obituary

i would have failed you

thats why it was so important for me

to show you that there is more to life than me

make no doubt, you meant much if not all to me

i couldn't just be with you and let it be

there were too many wonders for you to see

and i wanted, was to shared it with you, honey.

time has passed, the chances has slipped by

one thing left, all that i can do

as i lay on my bed

i'll be praying for you.