try and try..

the long lost art of journaling
i used to write post really often.
my life used to be so different

but times have changed.
i no longer spend my nights reading and writing.

why has life changed so much within the last 4-6 years.
just half a decade. and i'm struggling.

yesterday i woke up at 5pm.
went for the last day of 40 days fast and prayer at skyline
the testimonies were amazing... a lost dog, rainbow, land title deeds being processed after 10 years.
gosh, do i need to recount them again over hear?

i'm so lazy to write again what i've needed to say.
but you know the more you repeat a story the more ingrain it gets in the head.
and the easier it is to live it out.

you dont need to love to feel belong,
or was it you dont nee to belong to feel loved?

gah i cant remember what people say to me,
cant remember wha people say on the pulpit,
cant rememebr what they say in camps
cant rememebr..

i cant rememebr anything anymore.
why

i iwsh that i could
i wish that i had really good memory

okay lets try,....

thisd morning i woke up
jim was there, he went to shower
i told him that i would go to school later
i slept back. was tired from yesterday
perisa, drove krystina's car. its nice to be able to drive other peoples car
they trust you kinda thing. but i wonder how it'll .. play out.

i think we're all struggling.
with our other halves. mark and i. long distance.
long distance really sucks.. did i look forward to nay goal of making it short distance?
maybe one day

but there's so much things to be done here in KK
really?

just masters and campuslife right
what else?

friends? dont you have friends back home in PJ too
or johor, no i got no one in johor, just her


and thats enough. i could make new friends there.
why do i need to make hew friends here in KK? in Sabah
how long will i be here for?

my heart is somewhere else
my mind...

gah, its so hard
life is so hard

so stressfull

things are just not consolidated.
should i find a part time job here?
shoudl i try to finish off my masters? yeah i should

i really sould


i keep getting distracted
i might actually be terminated from my studies because of two previous consecutive reports of my performance being weak.

maybe this is the way out?

should i look for a way out

or should i try...
i'll try...

goodbye