Promises. Suffering.

I sat on the floor,
My back against the two seater sofa.
My legs spread open in a V,
My hands drooping down lifelessly,.
My head hung low,
My eyes squinted tight.

A frow on my brow.

Why did I choose this,
Why did I make the choices I did?

Wasn't it because I told him:
"let me ask God first if I should commit"

And
Wasn't it because I told God:
"show me sign for what you want me to do"

And
Wasn't it because He's answered so many times:
Through His scriptures, His living Word

Why God, I believed in your promises. I followed You because you said so, You guided me. Why am I in this position now..

That I don't feel: comfortable.

It is... Suffering.

Is holding on the promises to God supposed to be: suffering?

.

...

.

Yet I know..
Deep down somewhere..
Thought all this,
He is still there.

What He's promised in the past,
What He's spoken so clearly back then,
Has not changed.

I remmeber

I'll live in remembrance.

Promises, suffering.
Promises to come.