do things that will make a difference in this world,
not for academics, no, that is for recognition
God, i want to be done and over with this selfishness that is inside of me
i dont know what this pride is, that keeps me wanting to do things for fame,
i never taught that i would have to face this kind of challenge,
who am i, that popularity among people should matter?
yet God here i stand today, naked and weak before you,
a broken vassel? maybe not yet that far, but i wish to be of a contrite heart
You've called me out to serve You again, as if giving me a second chance to get things right before i leave. to make amends for the wrongs and mishaps of standards that i've not lived up to.
Yet i wonder why i still feel so, lazy so unwilling to take up the responsibilities in life.
as if i just wanted it to be a blissful, easy going and carefree ... worthless life of happiness.
no i am not happy in the current state i'm in.. or was in. i'm happy now, like today.
because of what You've done. i realize that not following You brings despair, tiredness and a void.
life should not be busy, but well occupied with the things that matter.
if i selected the right things to do in life that were in accordance to God's will,
then it wouldn't be such a drag to wake up each morning right?
sigh, God. keep reminding me that i'm your child and dearly loved,
that my strength is found in You and not in myself.
Amen.
Ephesians 5:1&2 "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
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