Monday, August 20, 2018
Kant and the Golden rule
https://markmanson.net/the-one-rule-for-life?
one thing always has to be right or wrong no matter the situation.
how universal can this get?
but for me, i think somethings are right in certain context.
sigh
means and ends and graeeter goals
treat other humans as Ends and never as Means.
what is the goal that i've set out to achieve,
and what are the means along the way that i need to carry out to achieve it?
what do i live for?
the moement i dont know, the moement i lose it
i lose the will to live
i wake up late every day
i wont want to go to work
its a drag to get out of bed
i just cant seem to.. do any other thing
there just no wway of improving.
i wish i could be done and over with it all
georeferencing, typing out stuff and stuff and articles, and journals and stuff...
sigh
Wednesday, August 08, 2018
triple three
bought 3 sets of Tiger that i owed to the shop keeper, Chi Loong (I finally got his name on a night of drinking).
paid him 3 days later.
RM153
He gave me a discount of 3 ringgit.
nice guy.
it was a really fun night, but i dont think i can afford it all the time,
financially and also physically
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Two types of learning
Curiosity and forced
1) curious
- spontaneous
-questions
- want to know more
- motivated
- energized
2) forced
- schedule
- quiz/test/exams
- homework
- drained
- tired
When i want to learn something, is it because i'm forcing myself? Or because I'm genuinely curious to know more?
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
some loving advice, but why do i feel so frustrated and irritated everytime i hear it
see what kind of environment you are bringing me up in!?
do you think i want to be like this??
I DONT! but you are freaking causing it to be like this
I dont HAVE a CHOICE!
do my work finish so i can do what i enjoy?
can you wait for me to finish my work??
can i only talk to you are i finish everything???
Saturday, July 07, 2018
Strong winds
We could have died.
Took a plane from Kuching to KK
The pilot tried to land it twice but the winds were too strong.
So we had to come back to Kuching in the end.
Will take a flight to back tmr.
Brushed my teeth at the airport toilet.
Also to scout out if it was possible to shower there.
Took a shower at the airport.
Trying to see if i could be a backpacker.
It works!
Just needed: my clean clothes in the small blue bag, Soap & shampoo. Water was cold, but still okay. I rather feel fresh and clean than sticky after walking the whole day (Sarawak has amazing history btw, learnt about Margaret, the White Ranee of Sarawak. Quite inspiring her life, her delights in classic hobbies such as reading, writing poems, painting and making music on the piano).
Not just that, she was passionate about women empowerment and indulging in the local customs instead of hanging around her own kind.
Regret waking up late and just staying at the hotel skipping breakfast with the gang.
I think I'm going to write a backpacker's list.
Monday, July 02, 2018
ATBC day 2
was watching a few minimalist videos lately, quite interested in the packing cubes for the clothes, not like i really need them, since i use the waterproof hypergear instead. anyways, those are just items that my mind should not be upon. there's also the sighting that the people in ABTC tend to be using MacAirs, Dells or HP. is HP a jewish brand? but, no need to think of that since my Acer works perfectly fine and I'm loving every part of it!
THe day started with me meeting Dr Colin as he was coming down the stairway going for a cup of coffee and to mark some papers. I forgot to mention to him that it was raining. and the day kinda started off... quite blurry. Because I..... I didn't have my coffee. I paid for the drinks and such, i dont think the sugar is doing me justice, i still fell asleep for a few of the talks. And then there was the time that I paid for the drinks thinking: "Owh let me get this without asking them, and then they'll be surprised to know that I paid for them" (nobel chin up pose).. what a snob.
it's not even my money, it's SEARP and rainforest trust paying for it.
Anyways, some of the sessions were good. Other than the crazy statistics that I dont really understand. The since field always seems to be repeating itself over the same 6 format over and over again: Introduction, Literature Review, Methods, Results, Discussion and Conclusion.
Three interesting people I met today was firsty Jean Linsky from BGCI, she mentioned briefly about BIo INt... argh.. i can't remember, but it was some initiative in Malaysia to try to record all the trees thatt are known.
then there is Sarah (whome Sarah Scriven) introduce to me, she was doing birds? and wildlife. and coming up with the heat map for conservation areas.
THen there's this guy from the Sinapore Natural Parks Hock Keung. He was chit chatting with Tab about singapore and how.. realy they're efficiency comes at a cost.
A girl named Maya from Hawaii also has an interesting poster where she's trying to get all the vertebrate IUCN status and link them to ecological functional.. erm.. gahh so many terms. bleh.
After that just chilled. called a grab to go back. Jim really can't walk, and he's in the hospital now, Loke and Azwan took him there, Eric drove. with.. Oceh? Then there was this lady named Ling too.
ah so many names, but actually really dont need to get to know every single person. JUst a few and those that are important should do fine
Man i'm so tired, i slept at 1 last night. i really want to sleep now. but i haven't typed out what I learnt from today. Hmmm let me see what did I learn and try to recall.
theres stuff about the iNaturalist and Pl@nt Net. About klang valley green challenge by Benjamin from UM.
okay no i didn't learn much. Good night. not that I can remember, it's in my note book.
ATBC 2018 Day 1
So this Association for Tropical Biology and Conservation seems to be like a very big thing among the ecologist in this region. The first thing that came to my mind when attending something like this is how it reminds me so much of the multitudes of church camps that I've been to as a kid. So many people gathering in hotel conference rooms and just, chilling out getting to know one another.
I remember having that awe and wonder as a kid, smelling the fragrance of a living place so unfamiliar from the house, running on the carpets barefooted. Walking in an out and around the place looking for hidden paths and different routes from building to building.
Yup, here I am at an international conference. Thanks to my wonderful lecturer Dr Colin. Really couldn't be here without him. He is the one that sourced out our finances and funding. And gives us allowances and such before hand. How can such a nice selfless guy exist in this world.
The day started off with Jim knocking on my door, before I even woke up. We went down to grab breakfast at the end of the food stalls that were just opposite the place we were staying at: Place2Stay, City Center. The Kolo mee was okay okay lah, cheap but not that tasty. I learnt that if you say whatever-mee "pok", they would give you flat noodles. The mee was good.
gosh am I going to type out everything i did today? haha. I haven't done a journal log like this in AGES. I think it's because I always am so tired and fall asleep every night before I get to do something like this. Man, do I miss typing. Okay, but I don't think I have the time to type out everything. So I'm just gonna to jump all the boring details and talk about the main stuff.
1) the flight yesterday: was good. we ordered food, I should have offered my water to Dr Colin just sitting in front of me. because I know I was thirsty from the dry air, and I had a bottle of water with me while he didn't. owh well, maybe next time, and about having to tell someone about something, maybe its better to wait until they're done doing what they were doing. because... yeah, just be sensitive to their body language lah, if they are looking at something with great interest.. then it's probably not a good time to ask/tell them about something.
1c) I put my feet under the weighing platform to make it lighter, we only bought 15kg of check in. Maybe I should be safe and by 25 kilos for bringing all my stuff back from Sandakan to PJ when I fly back on the the 30th of August. I also really want to get one of those hand luggage weighing scale thing-a-maggies
1b) Owh the walk to the Waterfront was amazing! They were selling a bag similar to the one Crystal left behind in Sim-sim, Sandakan. Should I buy it and post it to her? I've so many things that I've bought for her but haven't gotten the chance to send over, letters. A notebook. Bracelets from Kaamatan. Gosh. I ain't into snail mail anymore because I get to call her everyday I think.
2) Breakfast: when i went down and out and actually a lot of times, I forgot to call Pui Kiat out. Maybe I should be more mindful to do so. Like: I'm gonna knock on his door tomorrow when I wake up for breakfast.
3) Registration: They gave us a metal straw at registration! yea! I've always wanted one! Time to say no to plastic straws.
4) Lunch: We had a good lunch of char sau, siew yuk and veggies at the "something" Barbecue Specialist.
5) Use a foldable umbrella when walking in the sunny day. Foldable umbrella's are indispensable. I gotta add that into my minimalist items.
6) Mentor session, Azwan, Fazli, Hoo and I slipped in. It was only meant for members. The session reminded me of.... how it was like to be in a camp group or a cell group. Where we introduced ourselves, something amazing we've encountered and something unique about ourselves. We didn't really follow the rules. Then there was the triple expectation of what we would like to get out of these:
i) Mentoring: guidance? and peers to talk about with that can relate to my problems? and share advice?
ii) ABTC, kuching: to meet experts in the field and learn more about the current trends and latest advancements in the industry? (SDM and statistics)
iii) long term: Forest Conservation through application.
7) met a singaporean girl studying phd in James Cook university, she was in Canada before this. She does wildlife connectivity viaducts in Peninsular. Talks so much. Tabitha hui? Has a friend that has plenty of interest, like taking undistorted photographs with Toyo cameras and collecting bricks form the historical brick factories in Singapore (they used to have a lot of brick factories)
8) This local girl have a talk on Orang Utans mixed in with some short history of Sarawak. Form how the Dayaks were the Orang Asal (not the same as Bumiputera (Malays, Orang Asli)), and how they were only associated with 'indigenous' because of the colonisation of their land. How Native Community Rights (NCR), force them 'adat' (tradition) of going from place to place to plant crops have locked them down into un fertile land. and yeah.. conservation of a species that adapts to human intervention quite amazingly. She hopped the Chief Minister could have stay back for her talk.
9) Hi-Tea .. mingling time. Didn't be super extroverted and friendly going up to random people and chatting them up. Sigh. But Crystal allows me to do so already. Do I still blame her for the trauma of not wanting to talk to people, of not wanting to be too friendly, because that's what she says about me last time "That I love everyone one and that she is no different from anyone". Does me not talking to other people something that she cant see, show that she is more loved than everone else? Can't she see it. But she says she's different now because she's... much more busy with her own work and not like last time when she will just sit around at home....
yeah, I should talk to more people. That's the whole purpose I'm here, not network and make contacts for future collaborations. That's all part of the sciences. Crystal isn't stopping me. She never intended to. I just make it as if she does. How evil of me. Be gone, devil.
Kept taking the Grab back with Jim. He's leg hurts really badly, maybe I should pray for him.
Had beers. okay I'm supposed to be paying and collecting bills. becasue I have RM300 for 5 days. that equals to about 60 bucks a day. wow.
okay I think that is all. watch your mouth yew leung. don't be foul and learn to speak graciously. Let your lips always be seasoned with salt.
hope for a good day tmr! nights!
Minimalist
When you stop owning things you do not value,
You stop valuing things you do not own.
You start realizing the value of things you already own.
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Grief = loving someone
It is wonderful to be able to grief,
for then one will know that they have truly loved.
Saturday, June 23, 2018
only you matter
when you can be constantly be around people that make you laugh?
even when you know what the former says holds some truth,
and the joy and pleasure that comes from the latter is just.. temporal.
who will be there when you really need help?
can you stop caring for everyone?
just to love one person?
can you stop bothering to ask about others,
so that there is only one person that you should asking things about.
: when others are sick, should i bother to whatsapp them?
nay,
life is.... a community.
it isn't just an individual.
"No man is an island"
yet...
yet i find the life of an introvert quite appealing.
yes i may be fond of talking to others to get energy,
but that was the extroverted me.
which waste alot of time....
alot of time..
doing meaningless things like... making friendships.
i already have enough people around me,
all i need is just to .. dig deeper.
just to focus.
a love, those directly around me.
love..
you.
and only you.
not allowed to, so what
when you are around people that you can't impress.
that's why it's so important to keep your vision,
on who you should be impressing, God. He's always there.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
why i am drained
its funny, how true this video is, i can no longer see the implications of my actions into the future,
i cant make any more connections, i dont remember things and life is just.... passing on day by day, just trying to get by
I once thought i could leave everyone i met around me with energy due to engaging them,
least did i know that i wasn't taking care of my own relationships that determined if i was being drained or energized.
i thought i was like a battery with infinite energy,
least i know that i'm drained and empty now.
Thursday, May 10, 2018
9 may 2018
A historical day for Malaysia.
The opposition won. 113/222 seats.
The first time a change in government
The oldest prime Minister at 92.
The youngest parliament rep at 22.
The highest majority at 100,000 votes.
Despite the gerrymandering, the phantom voters, the delays in signing Borang 14 and such.
Its okay, God still has a plan.
GE 13 we weren't ready to step up.
He gave us a proper transition by overlapping the total change of government.
Now its time, when we are ready.
God's will will definitely come to pass,
When we pray we are not changing God's hand.
We are praying to know where we fit into His plan.
Thank you Jesus.
Wash all greed away from the politicians.
Let forgiveness, love and peace flow.
We are not seeking revenge,
Restore the rule of Law.
Regenerate this country.
Let there be freedom of religion.
Let the poor not be oppressed.
Give wisdom, and diligence.
Unity.
Bring back proper development.
Open tenders, let not our politicians be bought over by money.
Bring back jobs, take care of the poor, the needy, the widows, the orphans, the migrants and refugees.
Take care of the land, the environment
The social the economics.
Tony Pua for Finance minister.
Let the voice of the youth be spoken out and heard.
Let the voice of the people be heard.
May God bless Tun Mahathir with strength!
Thank you Jesus!!!
Let the media and news show the truth.
Let men not be afraid and oppressed
God... You will be done in our lives
Tuesday, May 08, 2018
why did God allow desserts?
so that mankind could face hardships... to innovate and make cutting edge technology for agriculture.
China and Israel are making leaps and bounds in the industry.
Maybe one day these will be brought to other arid planets for terraforming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8_Hnmty4vY&list=FL8gEnWuuNnBc6QPghEFUlhA
Hosea 13:5 "I cared for you in the wilderness, In the land of drought."
Friday, April 27, 2018
M545 control plus
M545 Control plus. Popular was having a sale in 1B.
70% off a RM119 mouse... so it was roughly 35 bucks.
Not bad. it has a nice scoll, and some extra buttons at the side for back and fourth web browsing.
the optic laser-level also enables it to function off most surfaces.
and to think i had a dilemma in choosing the old or new package. lol!
my mouse is not equally balanced tough, not sure if its the table...
Monday, April 09, 2018
what you can't ask by Paul Graham.
for the university student
"what you cant say" - by Paul Graham.
ask why when there are labels
watch your own thoughts from a distance
moral fashions. social customs
thoughts | speech
"Argue with idiots and you become an idiot"
probably my favourite quote from the essay
mhmm Nineteen Eighty-Four looks like a book that should go on the "to read list"
after I finish off "Three body problem" and "Ender Saga" - by scott card
Wednesday, April 04, 2018
missed all the deadlines
It was a free photobook from airasia, 40 pictures. I could have activated it before march and then slowly taken the time to select the photos until 31 may. now the chance is over. sigh.
I also missed adding one variable into the models. Altitude. i have to freaking do everything again, the modelling, the data entry in progress sheet, the presence absence in DIVA.. sigh
And i missed the MyBRAIN scholarship application.. shit
all the deadlines were on 31st march.
I got saman for my driving license being expired for a year too, RNM70.. renewed it and paid the saman.
Well, atleast I had a good time with my darling.
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Sheep offerings
They had to make so many goats, ram, sheep for offerings in numbers... The Israelites must have been breeding them so much... They would have good food security
Calling the free one
"The one whom is not free will constantly call the one whom is just to ... Have a feel of that freedom shared"
