punch a tuition mate

 reading up on effects of bullying during childhood on an adult.

when i was young, i used to go to andrea's house for BM and science tuition.

with thinakaran and a girl named joey. we had this stupid game, that was to punch each other in the arm and see who gave up first. i said i was going to punch really hard, as if asking for consent, knowing that it was gonna hurt really badly.... we were all skinny back then... i didn't hold back..... i punched with all my strength, (probably because i didn't want the other kid to think that i was weak)... the other kid cried.. i didn't know what to do, so i just ignored the other person in pain, didn't even say sorry, and sorta ran away to the upper living room where the table was...

i think from there on..... 

i throw my punches.

i'd rather hit softly and let the other person have fun hitting me as hard as they can.

i can take it

2022 in review

 January - started with NCR as a contractor

micro goals: stop: picking n, playing games (ish), negative things

start: exercising, look ppl in the eyes when talking to them

Feb - x f, < FB scrolling, s look ppl in eyes, > more say welcome, ask how are you? prep day before

march - look ppl in eyes when talking, respond 'welcome' to tak you, naps, listen.
x talk bad abt ex work place, alpha

April - focus, goals, highlights, thankful.

- study once a day, exercise & stretching, outdoors, meditate, x be malicious (fail)

may nothing in the calender

June - late for work.  study once a day, exercise, read more

July - open Git hub Acc (only done in dec), Ruby, Python, Linux

August, September, October, NOvember, December

same four goals. unachieved

cell groups and liberation theology

"Cell groups" is a term that my childhood church used. I was so used to it growing up for twenty over years.

Just found out that it is from the South American Liberation theology. They had a strategy that if the Red Wave from communist China swept southwards, the big churches could break up and still be meeting in smaller groups. 

Mind blown..

But yeah its so funny why churches nowadays have so many different terms for the same things

Sunday service = celebration

Worship practice = creative get together

Cell groups = life/small groups etc

Leaders are told to use this 'lingo' to create a more exclusive feeling.

Wow..

fishing

When you're all ready to go for fishing,

All the tackle in the car, 

The day's agenda clear for the pond... 

And then the skies grow gloomy, 

Dark grey clouds blown in overhead

Be it subang jaya or kelana jaya,

Or taman aman... 

That feeling... 

That no one can stop the rain, 

Unless a prayer, 

That blows the clouds away

Is heard by a God above... 

The rain drops when on is fishing, 

The splashes in the pool

The smell of the damp air

As we hide under a gazebo...

Rolling up the mat, 

Widing up the tackle

Cleaning the worms of the hooks, 

The smell of dirt in the nails, 

The dried worm juice on the fingers, 

Caked mud, hardend skin... 

A patient mind, 

A solaced soul, 

A quietened heart, 

A rested body

Tranquillity 

Father and son, 

Peace 

Love

supposed to write a testimony for SBC

The first time I went over to Sandakan was during the semester break of my first year in university in Jan 2015. I was helping out in the Forest Research Centre. Knowing I was a Christian, my supervisor Eyen hooked me up with Herbert and his family. I can remember standing at the bus stop inside Mile 14 and Emily coming to pick me up for church. We found out later from chatting that Herbert knew my brother too! What a small world we Christians have when everyone is part of the big family of Christ. In that short two weeks, somehow knew I was going to return here one day. And sure enough about 2 years later I came back for my internship and stayed another 2 more years in 2017 & 2018. I joined SBC and the Dandelion cell group, which are an amazing bunch of people, I fondly remember how much help, support, joy and laughter they brought. Eyen would give me a lift after work on Friday to the Devan’s where I could spend the weekend (being a baby sitter for Erwin and Elly). And on the days I couldn’t, Joel would drive all the way to pick me up on Sunday mornings! The nights were filled with either Catan board games, movies at the only cinema in Sandakan or supper at Mile 4’s Kim Fung Market. I love eating tang ko mian (Rubber band noodles). Talk about divine connections, there was also the Tawaiyari Mission team and trip where I met Ps Yuyut and later on would come to meet his son studying in UMS, Yuseley. We would occasionally bump into each other here in KK.

Family dinners

Everyday dad come home from work. We get to eat dinner as a whole family every single day (unless someone's outstation). I remember sitting on the dinning table, being the last to finish. My parents would just be chilling in the living room watching TV. And I would be up there slowly munching away, watching the same show. Haha. Family dinners together. There was so much food cooked by mom.