half done exam

i dreamt last night that:

i was sitting for an exam. and by the time i got half way to finishing it, time was up.
the second part was all objective questions, so i tembak them.

was trying to read them, but couldn't understand. when the papers were collected, i didn't hand mine up.
instead, i only handed it to the lecturer afterwords.

man the feeling was crappy. wasting time on the first half, and not being able to finish an exam properly. sigh.

clear starry skies

i keep telling people that the most important thing in life is, God
yet i do not practice it myself

such a hypocrite.
i've seem to have lost all that i've learnt over the past years of being a Christian.
the elementary truths.

what has happened to my life and walk with God?
i feel so lost.

when i looked at the clear skies, sitting at the edge of the jetty.
i think to myself: "wow, thats really clear"

i wish my life could be as clear as that.
now it seems so cloudy, murky like unclean water.

i cant see past the fog.
i dont know where my life is going.

there seems to be no more purpose anymore.

i wonder why this feeling has come upon me.
i wonder when it'll go away.

i dont like

why i dislike checking facebook

technology .. zzz. i wish i could just.. stop using it

am i an extension of the laptop? or do i still control the technologies around me

i had a random taught, of how... the center of things in my life is being taken away from me... by the computer

i used to remember so much things, like directions, facts, memories, apointments (okay, maybe i was never good at this)... Bible verses

then after some long time, i felt like the technology stoles this abilities away from me, and i feel like i became part of the map that extends from the computer. (instead of it from me)

then.. i was like.. man i should really quite facebook, it takes up so much of my time and determines way too much of what i want to do, to show other people. why cant i just.. live a life without sharing it to the world? is that selfishness? or is sharing things so other people envy it selfishness? i really want to become a missionary, to live in a kampung and just teach them about God. but i dont think thats a very logical things to do, its not.. relevant or.. reality. i should just get a normal job and get security in my life.

after all, how can i really trust a God with everything, if i am not willing to be obedient to Him in everything. thats.. selfishness

God ... is realy. and He is good.
as much as disobedience hurts Him, it is real to grive the Holy Spirit.

i want to take back my life, from this world.
to get Christ back in the center, and no longer rely so much on technologies.

no longer think of dreams, and wish they came true.
and i want to grow, not just in knowledge ..

but one of the fruits of the Spirit, the last and final one: self-control

to be a master of the choices i make, choices to follow Jesus as the master.
and not succumb to ... temptations, distractions and .. worthless things in this world.

sigh, why is happiness so hard to find.

i am happy now God, with all i have.
i'm not sure if You are. sometimes it really does seem ridiculous..

to not... well.. whatever la....
thanks for helping me our in the exam...

less things

happiness is wanting less things in life?
how is that possible. Jesus....

misjudge because of bias news

least we misjudge something based on what other people teach us only without knowing learning the truth ourselves. news like to be biased. and subconciously, it does shape the way we tend to think in.. very serious ways. especially if we only recieve things from a small bubble. hence it is important to be open minded to listen to others, what they will say first. but always know when enough is. when listening more can do no more good. it is an evident need to stand your ground, least one becomes... relativistic.

if the speaker has spoken so much as to think that you are convinced aboutthe truth that he holds. you do him no more good than if you halted him and told your side of the standing. thats what constructive communication is.

dont accept everything, yet learn to listen. dont jump to conclusions from assumptions, yet be diligent in making choices based on all that you have built thus far

Houses vs homes

Some have many houses, but few homes.

sacred geometry

so, drawing circles over each other...
and lines... and being a lil obsessed with triangles

stumbbled upon something called kabbalah
its a cult btw. well explained here:

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Kabbalah/kabbalah_exposed.htm


but what makes it interesting is that, people could come up with this by themselves without having to learn about it. how would i know? i used to draw hexagons in high school when playing with the compass set. now i dont use one anymore. but i would sure like to get my hands on it and try again.

its fun for art. but things like merkaba, flower of life, tree of life, seed of life, i really dont think there's a spiritual element to it, even if there was, it wouldn't be one from God.

(some chirstians are crazy about the ratio dimensions of the cross.. really?)

this website sorta explains in brief what people belief in the geometrical shapes: http://www.ka-gold-jewelry.com/

but yeah, take it with a pinch of salt, i dont think its wise to go into if you're not grounded with God's Word.

btw, the golden ratio, i.e. fibonacci's number is pretty cool. especially how elements in nature resemble it, such as snail shells, pine cones and sunflowers.

flower bombs

what is a violent attack or a defensive retaliation?

people say you shouldn't bomb syria, but what is the alternative solution then?
send them.... flowers?

Prepared food

I miss you mom

I miss how you always prepare food for me before I come back home. When I reach home I can just sit down and eat food and then rush off for my next activity.

dilettante

i am dilettante.

i like to jump into things that catch my interest, even if its just a small bit of it.
without having a deep knowledge or commitment to continue in it.

i just want to understand how things works

Morning sun

The sun helps you to wake up.
The sunlight does. Take time to.. "Photo synthesis" absorb in the light.

Into the eyes. And the hormones released will naturally wake up the body. Ofcause, you need to sleep early, preferably as close to as when the sun goes down. I try to sleep at 9 nowadays.

Take deep breaths with your eyes close. I can feel the top of my nose, the forefront of my forehead.. Aching.

God, this body needs to serious renewal.

I really want to get rid of eyebags.

Staying away from coffee as much as possible.

No wifi and slow computers

Problem: If your wifi shows there are signals you can connect to. But always when you try it says connection limited.

Solution: turn off the Bluetooth.

Problem: if your OS is starting up slowly, and you can enter windows, but everything is crazy slow. And reformatting doesn't work.

Solution: it may be the hard disk dying.

Feeling of trees

Take into consideration the feeling of trees. Just because you cannot communicate with them, doesn't mean they are varlase. Maybe they are ramen?

Christians love God, and people.

was reading about sacred geometry, atheist, 4th, 5th dimensions,
planes of existence.. gee.. so many people out there really hate religion.

i do to actually, the tradition that has been fabricated by society,
i wonder why they don't teach children in school, something that the teacher doesn't agree on personally.

like, we tend to tell others and want their approval for the ideas that we believe in to be true,
but no one in the right mid would start sharing something they believe as a lie to a kid, and ask them to think if it was true or false for them selves.

get this right Christians don't condemn atheist to go to hell.
(nor anything else that could have been derived from that, i.e abortion, homosexuality)

rather, i think that our job is just to, point you to God.
in love. and conviction that the Holy Spirit brings, you will know that the judge is.. well.. not man,
but God himself at the end of the day.

free will? well He did say in the Bible that we can do anything we want, just that we would have to be accountable to all that we do. and we ARE stewards of what God has given to us, time, money, the families and situations that we were born in.

so then, i sit take a step back.. and wonder where my choices in life has led me..
am i still listening to the living God? or am i living life in a .. Hellenistic way?

God please speak, here i am

Wild tigers vs puppets

Like the difference of
a Tiger in wild,
And a puppet in the zoo.

So too think about your life,
Are you living it for the original purpose,
Or have you conformed to the world's circus play?

recall, create

i think the mind is split into two types.
one that makes up new ideas, and one that recalls old memories.

 i think now, i just watch so much online stuff.. and wish to learn new things, inputs.
that my brain has ceased to practice remembering new information.

zzz

The country

Was just learning about how countries manage their own areas. And Singapore popped up because.. Well they are small, they have limited resources and have high technology.

If they wanted to increase land mass they could collect a little bit of soil in the middle and slowly pile it up in the middle to make a mound and later on a mountain.

Increasing the circumference would come naturally as erosion pushes things down, and.. Maybe growing mangroves at the side would help reclaim land.

Then I wonder what if you made tunnels in the hill. Or maybe a really huge shopping complex that incorporated everything. From water treatment functions, energy generation, food, all other life supporting services, transport, communications.

With dystopian ideas in mind. I think this could be utopia. That they are so self contained they don't need to rely on others outside the pyramid for anything.

They start building the core, then slowly grow outwards. The different tires for different levels of hierarchy. Not nessesary the capstone would be the management. It needs to be nuclear bomb proof. And have its on energy reactor, which would provided its own fresh water. Pumping air would be a really important factor, people would suffocate, something like the systems in a human body. The brain sends signals, cables send messages. The blood gives oxygen and nutrients, and also takes away waste.
Waste and sewage management should be one of the most efficient, to ensure sanitation and healthy well being. Artificial light should be provided inside for vitamin D. All waste should be recycled, organics into compost, and metal into the smelting furnace.

Yeah. That would be an ideal country. With not just an abstract pyramid but also the physical one.

AVC FTW

today i wanted to burn a .mp4 into a dvd.
was so blur about what a DVD video is and why it's format is Video_ts and blablabla

downloaded so so many programs trying to figure out which one can burn em nicely.
and what in the world is encoding??

at the end of the day, i think the best is: Any Video Converter
its interface is clean and simple and does whatever needs to be done.

and nero is confusing now with so many options.
sigh.

also decided to get back onto the portable apps platform,
as so not to install too many programs on this tiny SSD

Armour of God.

"It isn't true because it works, it works because it is true."

The belt of truth. Gird your loins.

Studded sandels.. Stand firm.

Breastplate - protect your heart, how you feel

Faith. I wonder if we can determine how big it is. Jesus did say to his disciples "you of little faith".

The helmet will protect your thoughts, your doubts.

The sword of the spirit: defend and attack.

No one goes to battle just to defend.

Everywhere you go, carry it.