Ending my "2025 no FB public post" resolution.
At the start of the year, I realized i was using social media in an unhealthy way. Hence wanted to take a break from it. But then I relaise that I really miss posting stuff that I've found so interesting and really want to share to others... this is what I enjoyed using FB for. (Not the mindless doom scrolling when i should be sleeping, habitual app checking during breaks or at the dinner table infront of the family...). Hopefully that's remediated a little more now... 😜
So yeah. Here it is:
Word: Fawning
Never knew there was a fourth response to fear/danger: fight, flight, freeze... and fawn
Are you (forced to be) compliant or can you be your authentic self? Is people-pleasing and avoidance of conflict to appease others your go to response when an uneasy situation comes up...constantly thinking of what others will be thinking of you...
Interesting book on an unconsciously learned trauma response. And how it's not just mental, but can be stored in physical nerve memory pathways (man i still remember the rotan from school days, good times xP)
Way to overcome? Unfawning through alignment and uhh.. Never heard of this therapy before...
Somatic EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) . Using movements such as Buttefly Hug ... thankfully I got hugs and lots of heathy love growing up in the formative years.. but yeah maybe there is someone out there that can benefit from it...
Well, Noah likes hugs and pats and sayangs, so it must be something haha
Hopefully he can grow up in a family environment that allows him to express himself without the subconscious fear of being reprimanded (unreasonably). Truth should be thought, but thought in love
Another interesting point from the blinkist was "healthy anger" .. something i feel I need to learn how to harness. Always suppressed this emotion as I thought being too fiery wasn't such a Christian thing to do... least one ends up a zealot .. but yeah. Maybe there are good godly ways to express it
And also,
"Self sacrificing for the sake of others" sounds like a very Bible thing to do... (Matt 25:40, romans 13:8-10, Phil 2:4, 1 Tim 5:8, Eph 4:32, John 3:16, Hebrew 12:14, James 2:14-17, Gal 6:10, luke 12:33) .. gee.. there's a whole bunch of it eh, caring for others..... no wonder subtle characteristics of fawning might have slipped in.... but don't get them wrong or misinterpret the verses to be self-abandonment to the detriment of one's ownself.... Jesus asked us to love others as we love ourselves. If we aren't able to ensure ourself is loved first, how are we expected to love others in a healthy way?
The world nowadays (and even back then) with its new age movement will emphasize on "loving one's self" .. but they do it with the idea that that love should come from within the individual person themselves. I.e. love your(outer)self from withing our inner self. However this is now what we're thought in Sunday school. We thought that love for one's self comes from acknowledging God's love for us. And it is by His unconditional grace and mercy that we are able to deal with the fallen states of our body and esrthy condition with love. And then able to love others from that healed state.
So yeah, one pathway leads to a very individualistic, selfish, narcissistic worldview. That shrouds itself trying to look good as "self help". But in actuality it draws one further away from what the original purpose of life was made for.
The other pathway leads to life, and life in fullness and abundance. Painful, hard, not a wide open road, long, arduous, full of challenges and hardships. But that's when we grow, when we have the chance to learn to overcome. And by that become more and more whom we were originally created to be, closer and closer in relationship that will last for eternity.
